Several weeks later, Bones and Booth were again in Sweets' office:
Sweets started the conversation. "Dr. Brennan, whenever I see you outside of this office lately, you are wicked quiet. What's going on?"
"I'm still so embarrassed by my display when I was exposed to the XP gas. I can't believe I said those horrendous things to Booth, and I'm still not sure he's forgiven me for the IQ remarks. Neither am I sure that my friends have forgiven me for being such a nuisance. I think everyone feels sorry for me, and this, I cannot tolerate."
"Bones" said Booth, "everyone realizes that wasn't you talking, especially me. But I feel that you punishing yourself for something that you should know, as an extremely rational person, is not your fault. You barely talk to me, recently you've been crying a lot, and no one can get you to eat or sleep. Even Christine knows that something is off with you." Bones just grimaced.
Sweets started."Those are all classic signs of depression."
"Dr. Brennan" he continued "are you acquainted with the work of Carl Jung?" Brennan nodded. "Dr. Brennan, as you know, Jung posited that all of us, even the best of us, have a dark side, a shadow side. In your case, the XP gas brought this out. If I had to guess, I would say that you still have some unconscious resentment about Agent Booth's proposal to Hannah, and fear that you are really Booth's second choice. The IQ stuff was just lashing out. Talk to Agent Booth. I don't think anyone's feelings, especially his, have changed toward you. The sooner you start to engage with everyone, the faster you will start to heal."
" I know that the breakup of our engagement did bring up some feelings for me about the Hannah situation. Booth really dislikes talking about Hannah. Booth dislikes talking about a lot of things. And I'm supposed to be the closed-off one." Brennan scowled.
"Dr. Brennan, you have grown amazingly over the time I've known you in your ability to recognize and articulate your feelings."
"Bones, sweetheart" began Booth. "I don't like to talk about Hannah because I'm ashamed of having acted like such a damned fool when she was in my life. I was devastated because I was sure your "no" answer was final, and I was trying to replace you while making sure to hurt you as much as possible. My proposal to Hannah was my way of trying to prove to myself that I was doing the right thing. I hurt you, myself, and Hannah. I don't think I'll ever get the chance to apologize to Hannah, but I want to make it up to it to you by treasuring you for the rest of our lives. I assume you've figured out by now that Pelant threatened to kill people if I didn't break off our engagement. He was behind your gas induced rampage as well, and he threatened to expose the whole city to a much stronger dose if I didn't break up with you. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! NONE OF THIS IS! So baby, please start talking and interacting with us all again. Please start snuggling with me and Christine again. We still love you just as much as we did before, and we miss you."
Temperance was silent for a minute and then she sighed. "Yes, I know that it is irrational for me to blame myself for my outburst. The frightening part is that I feel that Pelant violated my mind, almost that he raped me, metaphorically of course."
"And that is exactly why I feel that an anti-depressant might be good for you right now" said Sweets. "There is a theory that as traumas, physical and emotional, accumulate in our life history, they change the chemistry of our brains, and we become more and more susceptible to depression, especially without chemical intervention.* As strong as you are, and as many losses as you have weathered in your life, you have never sustained an assault on your being quite like the ones Pelant has inflicted on you. And this is not to mention the suffering inflicted on the people watching "Bones" on television. At the end of last season, you were charged with murder and had to leave Booth, and at the end of this one, you propose to Booth and have the engagement broken. If we don't get Pelant soon, our entire viewership is going to be on anti-depressants!" (I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. Back to being serious now.)
"Have you started taking the medication yet, Dr. Brennan?"
"The good news is that it has started to work. I can now concentrate again, and I don't cry all the time anymore. The bad news is that my word recall has suffered and I cannot think as clearly as usual."
Sweets smiled. "Dr. Brennan, I am sure that you can do your job just fine, even being slightly less sharp than usual. I can understand that it must be frustrating. You are getting a taste of what the rest of the world feels like."
"I guess I deserved that" Brennan smirked "given the number of times I've slighted the intelligence of others. Booth, I must have really been obnoxious to you at times. I don't know how you put up with it. Even if you aren't a genius, you are plenty intelligent. I am learning that being slightly less intellectually gifted than I was does not make me incompetent."
Booth smiled "you have always had empathy for the suffering of others. Now you have empathy with those who struggle because they are merely "intelligent" rather than genius-level."
"Dr. Brennan" said Sweets, this may seem like an odd suggestion, but I think a meditation practice would complement your growing ability to deal with your inner world outside of the cerebral."
"Hmm, I know that many cultures use meditation for spiritual and medicinal purposes. I should consider trying that."
Booth smirked. "If you are going to meditate, you're doing it on your own. No way I'm going to sit around chanting OM". Brennan, bumped him with her shoulder and smiled.
As Booth and Brennan left, Sweets was elated to see that they were holding hands.
One of the things that still irritates me about Brennan is her intolerance of any intellectual activity that isn't top drawer. One can do useful intellectual work without having the genetic endowment of genius.
*Paraphrased from "Listening to Prozac" by Peter D. Kramer, 1993. He calls it "kindling" of depression, that occurs with less and less outside stimulation as traumas pile up without medical intervention. Of course, some doctors believe that medication is overused for depression, but I imagine that psychiatry is a "harder" science than psychology, and that Brennan might accept the medication.
