...Leader-Sama sucks.
-------------------
"He's keeping it."
Sasori's eyes flew open wide. "WHAT? Leader-sama, you can't be serious!" He stood up, shaking his head. "He can't possibly-"
"No. He's having it."
"Pein." Konan spoke gently, reaching over to put a hand on his arm. "Think about Deidara for once. Is there any real reason you want him to keep it?"
"Deidara is a useful weapon." Pein cracked his knuckles slightly, keeping his eyes fixed on Sasori. "If he has a child, it will most likely carry Deidara's trait of the extra mouths. The mouths are how he makes his bombs, correct?"
"Well... yes, but-"
"If something ever happens to Deidara," Pein went on loudly, "We will have another bomber. The bomber's heir. The child will be Deidara's replacement."
"That's cruel." Sasori said bluntly, falling back into a seated position. "Taking a /child/ into the Akatsuki for the sole purpose of being a weapon."
Konan nodded. "Pein, be reasonable... Deidara's still just a boy himself... for god's sake, Pein, he's only 24...he can't handle being a parent..."
The rest of the Akatsuki remained silent. Hardly any of them had spoken the entire time. It was merely Konan and Sasori versus Pein. Everyone else was a spectator.
"Not the point." Pein looked at Konan carefully, frowning slightly. "Deidara is valuable. I /want/ someone of his caliber on hand when needed, and dammit, who better then Deidara's own son?"
"Or daughter." Sasori spoke up quietly, blinking soberly at Pein.
Pein ignored this and went on, "Look. I don't want to hear any more of this shit, okay? The brat's keeping it and that's final."
Sasori curled his lip. "Then you can explain that to Deidara."
The Akatsuki leader snorted. "Like hell I am. You're going to be the one telling him, Sasori. And I want it done, and I want it done /fast/, got it?" He leaned in slightly, matching Sasori's furious gaze with an equally angry glare.
"Pein, that's not fair." Konan said sharply. "It shouldn't be up to Sasori do to all of this."
"It's Sasori's damn partner!" Pein snarled. "The brat's HIS responsibility, for fuck's sake! It's his own fault that his partner got knocked up in the first place, dammit! You don't see your comrade get knocked unconscious by someone you don't know and just stand there and watch while this guy violates him!"
Sasori simply hung his head. If he could cry, he probably would. Pein's words hurt worse than kunais, worse than his own poisons. "I know." He whispered. "I... know it's my fault." Sasori rested his forehead in his hands with a sigh. "I'll do it. I'll tell him. I take responsibility..." He took a shaky breath. "...for helping to raise it, too."
Konan remained silent, while Pein fixed him with an angry stare. "Damn right. It's as much responsibility yours as it is the brat's now."
"Leader-sama?" Sasori asked quietly, looking up at Pein after a minute. "Do I have to tell Deidara today?"
"When he wakes up."
-------------------
Deidara had not taken kindly to the news. His mood, rather, had swung from being furious at first, then to sobbing quietly against a wall with Sasori seated on Deidara's bed with a pillow over his head. He had grown to hate the sound of Deidara crying. It reminded him of a lost child looking for his mother.
He heard the sculptor's breath hitch, and the sobbing paused. Sasori uncertainly lifted his head from beneath the pillow, eyes trained on Deidara. The blonde had both arms around his stomach now, and his eyes were half-open. "Dei..." Sasori said quietly, reaching out with one hand. "It'll be okay. I promise."
Deidara nodded, and took Sasori's hand. "I... hope so, un."
Sasori's hand tingled as Deidara laced his fingers with his. Deidara had seemed eager to do so, it seemed. Maybe it was Sasori's imagination, maybe Deidara was desperate for human contact. Either way, the tingling sensation was pleasing. It was rather like when he'd held Deidara in his arms earlier that day, although this sensation was more intense. A simple gesture, yet with so many unspoken words poured in.
"It will be. Trust me. I've already told Leader-sama that I'll help you... raise it." Sasori said, watching Deidara's expression change to hopeful delight.
"Really? Sasori-no-danna, you'd do that for me, un?" Deidara let go of Sasori's hand and scrambled onto the bed, crouched on all-fours. "Thank you!" He threw his arms around Sasori, who was slightly taken aback but returned the embrace.
"It's no problem, Dei." Sasori muttered, a half-smile on his face. "Really. And hey, just think- you don't have to go on another mission for a while."
Deidara sighed. "I kind of like missions though, un." He said quietly, resting his head on Sasori's chest. The tingling sensation spread. "And I won't be able to blow anything up..."
Sasori shrugged, and put a hand in Deidara's hair. Long, blonde, and... it smelled sweet... almost like citrus. i'Dei, what kind of shampoo do you use...?'/i "I'm sure Leader-sama will find things for you to do," He said, running his fingers through the soft locks.
"Hah." Deidara looked up, an amused look on his flushed face. "Like what, un? Cleaning?"
Sasori chuckled. "Probably..." He said with a sigh. "At least it'll keep you moving. You can't just eat and sleep."
"Sasori," Deidara blinked. "Um... neither of us know how to take care of a baby, right, un? I mean... I'm a 24 year old pregnant male and you're 30 and a puppet, un...None of the other Akatsuki has ever had children...How do we know what to do?"
Sasori considered this. He didn't even know in the first place. "I guess we'll have to do some reading." He said carefully. "Maybe Konan can help us, too... I mean.. she's a woman and probably knows more about it than we do..."
Deidara nodded against Sasori's chest. "Yeah, I guess, un." He said glumly. The blonde sighed, and slowly pulled away, much to Sasori's disappointment. He sat crosslegged about a foot from Sasori, chin in his hands. "So... does everyone know, un?"
Sasori nodded. "Yeah. Pein told them."
The blonde groaned. "I'm a freak and everyone knows it, un. Great! Just great..."
"You're not a freak." Sasori said sternly. "Not compared to the other weirdos here. You have four mouths and a baby- that's /nothing/ compared to the plant, the fish, the puppet, the zombie, and the good boy."
Deidara laughed out loud. "I guess you're right, un," He said with a soft smile. "It could be worse."
Sasori smiled. "There we go... look on the brighter side." He put a hand on Deidara's shoulder momentarily. "Look... I've got to go back to work." He slid off the bed, feeling Deidara's eyes following him. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Deidara nodded, and got up as well, "I'm gonna find something to eat, un." He stretched, and followed Sasori to the door. "Hey... Sasori..." He put his hand on Sasori's shoulder, gently nudging him around. "Thanks."
Sasori gave him a half-smile, and for a reason even he didn't understand, gripped the blonde in a breif hug. "No problem." He muttered, releasing a surprised-looking Deidara and nudging his way from the room.
