After the Vogue shoot, Blaine took to eating lunch in the library.

He didn't really have anyone to sit with any more. Artie still wasn't speaking to him and the rest of the A/V club had taken Artie's side. He'd apparently spoken to Tina because her and Mike were also giving Blaine the silent treatment as well.

Blaine could deal with that. He really could. It was better like this. Less chance of someone guessing his secret and sharing it with the whole school.

He was kind of lonely, though. Just a bit, anyway.

When Blaine passed Kurt in the hall, Blaine tried to meet Kurt's eye, but Kurt seemed to be ignoring him, which was strange because Blaine had thought that Kurt had accepted his apology. He thought that they'd come to some sort of an understanding. Apparently not.

He wanted to talk to Kurt again. Not in public – Blaine wasn't convinced that he could be around Kurt without doing something stupid, like bursting into the most dopey love song that he could think of in the middle of the hall. He hoped, though, that Kurt would find some pretext to come up to Blaine when no one was around so that they could, maybe, share experiences of something. Or, talk about television or movies or something stupid like that. Blaine didn't really care.

Maybe that was another reason that Blaine had taken to eating lunch in the relative privacy of the library.

Maybe I should be the one to go up and talk to him, thought Blaine when he caught sight of Kurt through the crowd of people on the way to Math. Kurt was dressed like a lumberjack today (and what was with that?) and walked hand-in-hand with the blond cheerleader.

Blaine stepped closer and smiled in Kurt's direction. Kurt caught his eye for a moment, then turned back to Brittany and whispered something in her ear, leaving Blaine standing in the hallway.

Lunch in the library was more habit than anything by now. It was for the best, anyway, Blaine figured. Kurt had been walking around in a Lady Gaga outfit this last week. Blaine was wearing jeans and a t-shirt so as to not stand out.

He was surprised when Kurt suddenly appeared and sat himself in the seat opposite. "I think we should talk," Kurt said.

He looked smaller than he had only two days ago, though perhaps that was because he was back in what, for him, passed as normal clothes. Blaine thought there was more to it than that, though. There was a sadness around Kurt's eyes that Blaine would swear hadn't been there before, as though Kurt had given up on something precious.

"Okay," said Blaine, heart beating quickly. Calm down, he told himself. This doesn't mean anything. He laid his hands carefully on the table in front of him to listen to what Kurt had to say.


Faggy. The word echoed around in Kurt's mind. Faggy. Faggy lamp and faggy couch blanket, Finn had said, but what he was really saying was that Kurt was faggy and should go and get fucked so that he could stop causing problems for real men like Finn. Kurt didn't need to crush on a guy like that, not when he made Kurt feel like a piece of shit. Kurt needed someone who would have even the slightest chance of liking him back.

At school, Kurt found himself walking towards the library (and Blaine) without even thinking about it. He knew where Blaine had taken to hanging out from Artie and he knew that Blaine wanted to be friends with him, despite everything. Before, that hadn't seemed important.

Now, Kurt knew the most important thing, which was that Blaine had apologised for what he'd said and meant it, which was more than Kurt could say for any of the other assholes in this school. Even Mercedes had asked Kurt if just maybe he was taking things a little too hard when he'd told her about what Finn had said.

"I think we should talk," said Kurt, quickly slipping into the seat opposite Blaine.

The library was empty. Kurt had made sure of that. Blaine wouldn't want it to get out that they'd been talking.

Strangely, this time Blaine didn't look around. He seemed intensely focused on Kurt, like there was nothing else in the world that mattered to him. It was nice, to feel worthy of someone else's full attention in a situation where he wasn't being sworn at.

"Okay," said Blaine, wringing his hands slightly, before placing them on the table in front of him. Kurt could see that they were shaking, as much as Blaine tried to hide it.

The problem with not planning this was that Kurt wasn't sure of what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes for a long moment before deciding to just tell the truth. "I don't care that you called me a fag. Not anymore. I don't care that you dropped French and proceeded to avoid me, just when I was hoping that I'd found someone else who would understand what I'm going through. It's just—lately, I've come to realise that I can't get what I need from straight guys. I was prepared to settle – God, I was prepared to settle – but I'm starting to realise that that's not enough. I didn't think I'd meet anyone like me until college, but now that I've met you, I can't pretend that I didn't."

Blaine was looking at Kurt as though Easter and Christmas and his birthday had all come at once. Kurt shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. Blaine swallowed and took a deep breath before speaking and when he did it was at barely more than a whisper. "Are you asking me out?"

Kurt wanted it all. He wanted to hold hands and slow dance and sing duets. More than that, he wanted to matter to someone. He wanted to be someone's boyfriend, even if he couldn't get anything else out of it. "I am," Kurt said. Even if Blaine wasn't willing to be anything more than that, wasn't willing to hold hands or slow dance or sing duets in public, it was better to be with Blaine than with no one at all.


Blaine sucked in his breath hard. The boy he loved liked him back. It was more than he'd ever hoped for. He wanted to jump up and down and punch a fist into the air and grab Kurt and kiss him right on the lips in front of everyone.

"I'm not as strong as you," Blaine said instead.

Kurt's face shuttered quickly and he pushed his seat back, ready to stand. Blaine grabbed his hand before he could move away.

"Wait. I mean, I'm not ready to—to tell everyone about me, you know? I can't—I'm not as brave as you, Kurt and you deserve so much better than me. You deserve a guy who'll scream his love for you from the rooftops, not someone who'd hurt you to keep a secret. But if you're willing to have me, I'd love to be your boyfriend."

Kurt looked Blaine straight in the eye for a moment before nodding stiffly. "I think that's acceptable."

"Good. Great!" It took Blaine a long moment to realise that he was grinning broadly. He tried to dim it down into something more acceptable but couldn't contain the joy building in his chest. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," said Kurt.


Kurt was making Blaine happy. He was giving Blaine what he'd wanted at no cost. He was agreeing to hide a relationship when really he wanted to shout from the rooftops that he had a boyfriend and finally wasn't alone. Blaine was the one getting a good deal out of this.

So why did Kurt feel like he was the one using Blaine?