A/N: Oh my goodness! How long has it been?! Well, sorry for the wait, but here it is! Chapter 4! In this chapter, Sora will answer mail from various people wishing to know things about Riku! Enjoy!!
- - - A special thanks goes out to mr. bauer, Anonnie Mouse, and Inspirationaldreamer for sending in questions. You guys rock!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters from the game. Moreover, I do not own Square Enix or Disney. And that sucks.
Rating: Rated T for suggestive themes and such. It may go up in the future, but we'll see.
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Sora's Ultimate Guide to Riku
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I get many letters asking me various questions about Riku. Some of them are very relevant, and others are just a bunch of crap. Regardless, today I'm gonna answer a few of these questions. Stick around and you may learn something you didn't know about Riku.
Dear Sora,
Why is Riku such an asshole? And why must he constantly kick my butt while playing video games?
- Tidus
—
That's a very easy question to answer Tidus. I'm gonna start with your second question first. Why does Riku kick your butt when you two are playing video games? Uh, maybe because he's better than you. You know, like, he has more skill with his fingers (and boy does he!) and better strategies. Or maybe you're just terrible at video games. The alternative would be that you're too scared to beat him considering he might rip out your heart and eat it in front of you if he lost. But I'm just putting that out there.
As for your first question, I'm not sure what you mean. Riku has never been an "asshole" to me. It must just be to you. You probably angered him in some way that I'm sure you deserved. And I have a question for you, Tidus: What does it really mean to be an asshole? Think about that next time before you go calling someone an "asshole."
Sora,
I'm perturbed with Riku's appearance. He is beginning to look too much like me. I want to know if he's some sort of creepy "fan girl" or, seriously, a clone. I dismissed the thought of him being my son a long time ago, so please think carefully before answering this.
- Sephiroth
—
Well, Sephiroth, that is a tough one. How am I suppose to know why people resemble other people? Riku has never talked about you, and I've never seen any pictures of you hanging in his room. That said, he may have some that are hidden. But . . . I doubt that. So, feel confident when I say you can dismiss the though of him being your "fan girl." I suppose he might be a clone, but I'm not into the whole science thing. I don't think he is, though, but I've been wrong before.
However, I'm aware that your hair and eye color are the same as his, but I think you may be getting a little ahead of yourself. Let him grow up for a few more years, see what he looks like, and, if he still looks like you, contact me again.
Hey Sora!
I was wondering if Riku would like to go on a date with me?!
- Selphie
—
No. He would hate that. You disgust him.
Dear Sora,
Hey, Bruddah! I have a question, ya. Okay, Riku lives on an island and has no tan whatsoever. How can this be??!!
-Wakka
—
Well, Wakka, I already expressed my thoughts on that. I find it terrifying that he doesn't tan. And considering he sits on that tree all day facing out toward the sun which would easily reflect off the water all around him creating a perfect atmosphere for getting tanned/sunburnt, it is a mystery.
My only answer for you would be that he applies sun screen more than he should. Maybe he cakes it on or something. Of course, I've never seen him do that, so maybe he's just incapable of tanning or becoming burnt. Sadly, that is a question that will probably never have an answer.
Dear Sora,
How come Riku isn't as cool as Harry Potter?
- Zexion
—
Hmmm, I suppose this one comes down to a matter of opinion. See, I think Riku is butt loads cooler than Harry Potter. I find it mind boggling that you could even assume otherwise. Of course, you are a book nerd who could only find comfort in reading about the lives of other nerds, I suppose. And, while believing that Harry is cool for being his nerdy self, you believe that all nerds are cool. Then, when you come against a Malfoy figure (which would be Riku in this case) who is cunning and a bit more popular, you get defensive and rely on your thoughts to comfort you.
Thus, it is impossible for Harry Potter to be cooler than Riku. If you still have a problem with this, meet me tonight by that three that grows all crooked like. You know the one.
Sora,
How come Riku gave up the power of darkness? I thought it was working so well for him! And I'm not happy that he tossed me aside like I was nothing! What about all those times we shared? What about my feelings?!?!
- Ansem (or Xehanort's heartless . . . whatever)
—
Uh . . . wow. That's some emotion you got flowing there. Anyway, Riku gave up the power of darkness because it sucked. I mean, being able to teleport anywhere just by making a portal with your hand, shooting dark blasts of evil energy, flying/zipping around everywhere, and getting cool new duds is really lame . . . . . . hmm. You know, I'm kinda wondering why he gave it up myself? But he's better for it. So, butt out, Freak.
And do you know why he tossed you to the side? It's because you were using him! That's not fun for anyone! I mean, you were all, "Hu hu hu, this ignorant little boy used the power of darkness 'cause he's a n00b. Gawd, he's so dumb. I totally used his body for my own twisted purposes. Dur dur dur!!" I mean, that's not a direct quote or anything, but it's pretty damn near close.
And about all those times you shared, I'm sure Riku didn't enjoy them at all. What about your feelings? What about his feeling?! I should really get Chris Hanson to come and arrest you or something. Besides, Riku hates you more than the rest of us, so there.
Dear Sora,
I noticed Riku's hair bears a very tiny slight resemblance to mine. Why is that?
- Marluxia
—
You know, I could say my hair bears a very tiny slight resemblance to Riku's hair too. Cause, you know, we both have bangs, so there's definitely something going on (sarcasm). I suppose it does fall the way yours does, but there are tons of other people in the world who have similar hair styles. Really, you're taking this to a degree far greater than need be.
But to answer your question: because it grew that way.
Sora,
Why are you doing this?
- Riku
—
Well, Riku, I'm doing this because your dear fans want to know more about you. And it's very fun. Thanks for the question!
Dear Sora,
1. What else does Riku do in his spare time?
2. How often does he practice his sword fighting?
3. Does Riku like any kind of animal?
- mr. bauer
—
What else does Riku do? Well, besides the things I mentioned, he does random things here and there. I suppose I should say he likes to read every now and again. And, once a month, he sits down and watches Remember the Titans. It's quite a sight, too, cause he gets emotional every time. He also likes to download fancy new ring tones for his phone. I don't know what he does with them all, but I have a theory that he flips randomly through the phone book and adds numbers just for the sake of using the ring tone for a specific person. And he does other stuff, but who doesn't, you know?
Ah, sword fighting. Well, it really depends with him. Sadly, he doesn't set up a schedule, so he just goes off and does it randomly. Usually, however, he takes about an hour out of every few days to do so. If he misses a day, which he does often, he makes it up by practicing for three hours the next day. I tell him it's overkill, but whatever. He likes to waver the time also, so you never really know how long he's gone. One time, I swore he was only gone for five minutes. And when I asked him about it, he was all, "No way. I was out there for five hours." So, I don't know. It varies.
Obviously you're aware that Riku hates cats. But I suppose a lot of people do too. Anyway, he's not the biggest animal fan, but he does like dogs. Mainly, I think it's to spite the kitten population, but he could be genuine. He also likes pandas.
Dear Sora,
What is Riku's opinion on hairdye?
- Anonnie Mouse
—
Oh, there is a funny story behind this! When we were younger, Riku thought it'd be cool to dye his hair a bright red color. Why, I don't know. But anyway, we got our parents to buy the dye and then we went into his bathroom to dye it. All was going pretty smooth and Riku told me to just add the whole bottle so that his hair would be really red. So, I did. After that, Riku decided he was going to take a shower just to wash out the extra color. Sitting in the living room, I heard a blood curdling scream. Leaping up, I raced over to the bathroom.
When I flung the bathroom door open, I noticed Riku standing there staring with horror into the mirror. Not registering what was wrong, I looked with him in the mirror. Perhaps he had a tumor growing out of his face? But that's when I noticed it: Riku's hair was a very vibrant shade of pink.
I tried to hold back my laughter as best I could, but it was so pink! Angry, Riku stomped out of the bathroom and locked himself in his bedroom. Oh, it was so funny! It only took a few days to wash completely out.
To answer your question, Riku hates hairdye. He doesn't mind it if it's on someone else, but he hisses at people who try to dye his hair.
Dear Sora,
If two trains were leaving New York at the same time, one at 35 miles an hour and the other 12, would Riku still be able to answer this question even though it's two in the morning?
- Inspirationaldreamer
—
I'm sorry to disappoint you, Inspirationaldreamer, but without a destination, how can the question be answered? Did they leave New York to run into each other, or are they heading for a certain place? Oh well, maybe I'm just retarded. Let's ask Riku!!!
Asking Riku
Sora: Riku, I got a question for you!
Riku: Wha – ? It's like, two in the morning . . .
Sora: I know, but it's really important!
Riku: Mehhh, uhh . . . whatever.
Sora: If two trains were leaving New York at the same time, one at 35 miles an hour and the other 12, would you still be able to answer this question even though it's two in the morning?
Riku: Uhhhhh . . . . . . . . . uh, I don't – uh, what?
Sora: Stay with me here.
Riku: Uh . . . cow.
Fin
Well, I suppose that's Riku's answer. I hope it's the right one!
Hey Sora,
Would Riku classify himself as more of a jock or a prep?
- Kairi
—
That's an interesting question, Kairi. But being his friend, I would really think you'd know the answer. Shame, shame. But maybe you have your own opinion. I'll give you mine. While Riku dresses seemingly like one would assume to be prepish, I suppose the jocks dress almost identical. Hmm, intriguing. But then you must look at the fact that he plays football, an international sign of jockatude. Usually, preppy boys don't play sports, so I'm gonna have to say that he's a jock. Plus, he works out . . . and that's rather jockish in itself.
As for Riku classifying himself, I don't know what he'd pick. He'd probably say he's about as perfect as the Urban Renaissance man. Thus, you're just going to have to go off of what I think. And I think he's just a cuddly little jock.
Dearest Sora,
Does Riku like card tricks?
- Luxord
—
I suppose if they're good. I know you know many interesting card tricks, but I don't know for sure about Riku. He knows how to play cards, but I'm sure he could appreciate a good trick. Uh, thanks for that question. It sure was . . . weird.
Dear Sora,
Why does Riku spell his name with only one "k"? Two is always better than one!
- Rikku
—
This is another of those matter of opinion questions. Personally, I think that only one "k" makes the name Riku look more manly than Rikku. I suppose he does it for that reason. Or, you know, his parents spelled it that way. And, like, that's how it goes. And two isn't necessarily better than one! What if you suddenly grew another mouth? Yeah, I thought so.
Dear Sora,
If Riku had a Nobody, what would his name be?
- Roxas
—
That is a very intriguing question, Roxas! Hmm, well let's see. We could have: Ruxik, Kuxir, Xikur, Xurik, Ixkur, Kurix, Uxrik, and tons of other nonsensical things.
I think, personally, that his Nobody's name would have to be either Ruxik or Kuxir. Just because they sound the most normal. But let's hope he never gets a Nobody, because a lot of those sound too strange to be cool.
And that's it for all the questions! Of course, those were just a few of the thousands that come in everyday. If you still have questions about Riku that you'd like me to answer, go ahead and send them in. I'll dedicate a whole chapter to answering questions again down the line. But first, don't you want to know about Riku's various fighting styles and weaponry? Yeah, I thought so! Well, your prayers will be answered in the next chapter where I will give you an account of all of that! Thank you.
--------- End of Chapter Four ---------
A/N: Well, wasn't that exciting?! That's what I thought. If there's another question you'd like to have answered, Sora will answer it in another chapter dedicated to answering questions about Riku. But enough about that. I made a reference to Chris Hanson in this chapter. And if you've never watched To Catch A Predator, then I'm sure it made no sense. But Chris Hanson is a guy on Dateline who exposes pedophiles in the act of coming over to a young child's house after receiving various emails from the pedofile to the "child". The "children" are really actors who just look young. I think the show's hilarious. Watch it if you get the time.
Also, I don't hate Harry Potter. I know I made fun of him being a wimpy nerd (consequently, I insulted Zexion as well) but it's all in good fun. I love both Harry Potter and Zexion. So, there you go.
Again, a special thanks goes out again to mr. bauer, Anonnie Mouse, and Inspirationaldreamer for sending in questions. And thank you so much for reading! Reviews are awesome! Just like you guys!!
