CHAPTER 4 - HITTING THE ROAD AND MORE
They all piled into the bus, except Terry, who went to go get more Big Gulps. The ones on the bus had a quick rap battle to decide who would drive. Gavin won and slid behind the wheel. He appreciated the lube that had been applied to the seats. That's how you keep the leather fresh.
Terry ran out of the convenient store and dove onto the bus. Treads squealing, Gavin tore out of the parking lot. The thin mustached owner of the bus ran out of the store shaking his fist and Ancient Egyptian Cursing them, but the man hadn't paid his Egypt bill, so it had no effect.
"Bwahahaha!" laughed Gavin, stroking his long beard. This was by far his most successful bus heist ever.
Now the gang had 498 miles to go until they got to Las Vegas. They made a U-turn, went back to the car, and got their bags. This bus was much more comfortable for the nine friends than the car had been. This was perhaps the best bus.
Since they were all going on the trip to talk about their feelings and they were about to spend 500 miles of highway together, Diane forcefully insisted that they do so now.
After the shouting and punching had died down, they all agreed. Gavin put the bus in cruise control, and joined the others in the bus's living room. This was a strange bus. The chairs were all love seats and could be placed anywhere in the bus. There were several curtains hanging from the ceiling that would simulate the privacy of different rooms without the permanence of solid walls. The bathroom was just a hole in the floor near the back of the bus. Truly a marvel of modern engineering.
Diane decided to start the conversation rolling. "Angela, you've only been mentioned twice so far. How is your relationship with Marcus doing?"
"Well, Marcus left the terlet seat up last month, and I haven't forgiven him for it yet. I must have tried poisoning him five times for that now!"
Gavin cut in, "That won't be a problem on this bus!"
The outburst of laughter from the entire group put Angela into a fury. "It's not funny! Lack of a terlet seat doesn't excuse laziness! I'll poison you all!"
Just then, Trina remembered that Gavin wasn't terribly bright. He had a sexy sexy beard, but that didn't make him a wise man. "Gavin, do you know how cruise control works?"
"Of course I do! Don't you see this epic beard?" Just then, a loud thump sounded from the front of the bus. Gavin slid (still covered in lube) up to the front of the bus. They were in a large field surrounded by a beautiful barbed wire fence. The field was full of terrified cows fleeing for their lives, as well as one dead cow settling into his new home on the front of the bus. Gavin hit the brakes and the bus rolled to a stop.
They got out and examined the damage. There was cow all over the front of the bus and barbed wire tangled around the bus's treads.
"Nice going, tardosaurus!" shouted Patricia. "It's going to take hours to fix all this!"
"Nah, I got this." Gavin chuckled. He unwrapped the barbed wire from the treads and wrapped them around his fists. He then strolled to the front of the bus, ultra-punched the cow off of the grill, and wiped up all the blood with his beard.
He then used the razor sharp barbed wire gloves to shave off his beard.
"Love is never having to say that you've never cleaned up a dead cow with your beard." he said, and kissed Patricia. She kissed back, totally turned on.
"I love happy endings!" swooned Sheila. The others agreed that it was very nice, and then got back on the bus.
"I don't think Gavin should drive anymore." said Marcus.
"I agree." agreed Angela agreeably. She knew what she was doing. "You drive, sweetie."
Marcus returned to the highway, and pushed the accelerator to maximum velocity.
"VROOOOM" shouted the bus.
