Thank you to CharmedWriter11 for beta'ing!
Shoutouts: britneymartina, don't worry, Caleb will return soon, im waiting until their reunion on the show so I can make it as realistic to the show as possible. :) I'm so happy for Carly because she met Holly and Shannen this past weekend and anyone else who did, yay for you :) I got an autograph from Holly, which a friend got for me...thank you Jasmin if you're reading this story xoxo
You're always looking back,
Runnin' from the past.
You're always sweating me about the next big heart attack.
You're lookin' over your shoulder starin' down the path.
(I'm fallin' down)
Fallin' down
Fallin' down
"I can't believe you're getting remarried, Mom! Congratulations!"
"Thank you! So, is that what you and Ted were hiding from me?"
"Yeah," Hanna admitted. "I'm glad he proposed...and wow, that rock on your finger is beautiful!"
"I suppose you approved of it, huh?"
"I sure did. I enjoyed watching him get down on one knee for you. You know me, the hopeless romantic."
"I thought you said Aria was the hopeless romantic."
Hanna shrugged. "We both are."
"Well...good night, baby, I love you!"
"Good night, Mom. I love you too!" Hanna and Ashley kissed each other on the cheek and then her mother left the room.
The next day, Hanna told her friends the news.
"So, Ted's gonna be your stepfather? You're probably gonna end up going to church every Sunday," Spencer said, and the girls laughed.
"Yeah, but actually, I don't really mind. He's not like an over-the-top religious freak...so one hour per week isn't that bad. He acts like a real father, you know, so I'll probably be calling him 'Dad' in no time."
"That's so great for you and your mom," Emily murmured.
"Yeah...I wish my mom would find a guy that great...I keep telling her to go out with Zack, but she's too shy!" Aria exclaimed.
"Or...maybe she's not over your dad yet...although she should be," Hanna muttered.
"She is! It's just...the poor woman has been divorced for such a short time, it's like...she's self conscious."
"Aria, when I went to the Brew with your mom, you know, when she helped me with homework, Zack flirted with her...so I would just let the chips fall where they may. She would be more likely to give it a shot if it looked like someone was into her first."
"Oh yeah, that sounds right, Han. I think someone is, she seemed kinda giddy this morning! So, off my mom and onto yours...when's the wedding?"
"They have yet to decide, but they want a spring or summer wedding...so about six to nine months. She wants us and El-Aria's mom, to be her bridesmaids."
"This is really exciting...but are you sure you'll be okay going to it without Caleb as your date? I mean, you seemed so sad at the dance last weekend," Emily pointed out.
What her best friend had said was like a knife cutting through her heart. Hanna knew Emily wasn't saying it to hurt her, she was just being a concerned friend, but she had never told her friends that she and Caleb broke up.
"Yeah, well, I should have gotten him to come last time...I'll try for the wedding. I have no idea why he's still there...I hate long distance relationships," Hanna grumbled.
There was a collective reply of, "Me too."
Hanna suddenly started feeling extremely queasy. "Oh god, I'm about to throw up!" She stood and made her way to the restroom, with one hand covering her mouth and the other firmly holding her stomach. Her friends followed her in and one of the girls held her hair. She hiccuped and gobs of vomit spilled out.
"Gross," Spencer whispered.
"I can see you'll never be a nurse," Emily responded. "Oh, sweetie, did you eat spoiled food or something?"
"Probably, yeah," Hanna said between coughs.
"I'll get napkins," Aria said. "Spencer's about to puke herself."
"She shouldn't have come in here!" Hanna said in an irritated voice. "She didn't have to watch, you know."
"There you go, honey," Aria murmured and handed Hanna a few napkins. She wiped her mouth and threw them in the garbage.
"Thanks."
"Here's your water. It'll calm your insides," Spencer said.
Hanna grabbed it and took a few sips. "Thank you." She looked up at her reflection in the mirror. "Oh my god, I'm so pale."
"Well, yeah, you just threw up. How are you feeling now?" Emily asked.
As soon as Hanna took her hands off the sides of the sink, she had to grip them again. "I'm still dizzy."
"Okay, Spence, take her arm, I'll take her other arm, you know, to steady her. Do you want us to take you to the nurse?" Emily offered.
"No, no, I'll be fine in like fifteen minutes."
Before leaving the bathroom, the door opened to reveal the three nastiest girls in Rosewood High
"What happened, Hanna, did you eat too much again?" Jenna taunted her.
"Going back to Hefty Hanna, are we now?" Mona added.
Shana just laughed. "No, girls, I bet she's just drunk...after all, that's why she left the dance early!"
Hanna was breathing heavily and forcing her tears down. She blinked them back rapidly and watched her smallest friend face the catty girls.
"I know that you three love to make people's lives miserable because you're so bored with your own pathetic lives...but hating on our best friend and being such rude bitches is not okay in our books. Let's roll, girls."
"Excuse me," Emily said and pushed Jenna, and Mona out of the way. Spencer shoved Shana with her elbow on the other side.
"That was great, way to go, Aria!" Spencer said, and they hi-fived each other. Hanna was happy that her friends stood up for her, but she was still shaken up by what they said. The dance and her weight were delicate topics for her.
"I don't think I can do this," she said tearfully.
Emily and Spencer helped her sit down. "Hanna, they're just stupid bitches...why do you care what they think?" Aria wanted to know. "You know you're not fat, and you know you didn't have a drink today."
"Sometimes, it gets to me, okay?" Hanna put her head in her hands and started crying. "Can we just leave? I'm having an emotional crisis."
"When the strongest falls, you know we're in trouble. Come here," Emily said soothingly and let Hanna rest on her shoulder.
"I'm not the strongest," Hanna wailed. "You are! I mean, you killed a guy!"
"I gotta admit, that's pretty badass," Aria commented.
"Hell yeah it is," Spencer agreed.
"How did you not cry about it?" Hanna wondered aloud.
"I cried...I sobbed...I called myself a murderer, but then you know what? I went to therapy, and like everyone I talked to convinced me that it was self defense, and when someone is trying to hurt you, you do what you can. It's fight or flight...and I chose to fight. I mean, what was I supposed to do, he had a knife to my chest."
"Yeah, I get it, Em," Hanna said quickly to make her best friend stop talking. She really wasn't in the mood to discuss killing people.
"You don't have to snap at me. I know you're upset-"
"I'm sorry, I'm not the best friend right now."
"It's okay, we still love you," Aria said, and Hanna felt three pairs of hands squeeze hers.
"Love you guys too," Hanna replied. She tried to smile at her girls, but she couldn't. She gulped and took a few gasps of air.
Her friends took her outside and carried her things. They walked to her car and got inside. Emily drove everyone to the Brew and they got cups of coffee and different kinds of scones. She played cheerful music in Hanna's car, and pretty soon, Hanna was in lighter spirits. They gave her hugs of support when the bell rang and went to their classes.
After school, Ella met up with Hanna, and she told Hanna to go inside the Brew while she parked. Hanna went into the bakery and waved when she saw Zack.
"Oh, hey, Hanna...is Ella coming?"
"Ella?" Hanna asked teasingly.
"Yeah, Ella, you know, beautiful woman with long brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a sunny smile."
"Ohhh, that Ella," Hanna said and then smirked. "Yep, she's here...she's just outside parking. She'll be here in a minute."
"Terrific!" As soon as Ella walked in, she and Hanna both sat down. They didn't order anything; they just wanted to talk. Ella and Zack exchanged smiles and then Zack got busy with customers.
"You look all glowy," Hanna commented. "Did you curl your hair or something?"
"Aria told me the same thing...actually, she used the word 'giddy'. She asked who the guy was, and I don't want to tell her yet...it's a little early to get all her hopes up for a friends thing."
"Oh, well, you could tell her that a friend invited you somewhere."
"Shush!" Ella said quietly, and Hanna quickly figured out why Ella was so cheerful. Zack must have asked her out after Hanna left the Brew last night.
"Okay, okay...fine, I won't prod into your personal life. It's just...I knew something was up when you told us to write a creative story for both classwork and homework and then challenged us to a spelling bee! It was too easy, by the way!"
Ella laughed. "I'll make it harder next time. So, how are you doing, honey?"
"I'm okay, I guess. Today, I had a meltdown at lunch in front of my friends. First, I threw up in the middle of my meal...I made it to the sink, but that wasn't what caused the meltdown...it's Mona, Shana, and Jenna...they bullied me by calling me fat and accusing me of getting drunk at the dance. Your daughter told them off, and Emily and Spencer supported me by helping me back to the table, since I was so shaky...but I couldn't handle the insults. I cried like a baby!"
"You can't let those girls get to you, and I know why it was especially hard today...you know the real reason that you left the dance before it was over."
"Yeah...Hefty Hanna remarks I can handle, but reminders of that night...I can't do it, Ella, I can't relive it over and over again...and then I just had to bring up that Emily was strong because she killed that guy, and it reminded me...of all the trauma that I endured...but I only said that because Emily said I was the strongest of them all! I'm not!" Hanna's voice cracked. "I don't even know if I should tell them about Caleb," she said softly. "All they know is that I hate long distance relationships."
Ella nodded and patted Hanna's hand. "I understand why you feel that way. You are a strong girl, though, and I need you to listen to me when I say that you did the best you could and that is what makes you tough."
"Emily said that when the strongest fall, we know we're in trouble...what does that mean?"
"Well, sweetie, the strongest do fall at times...and then the others don't know what to do without their leader, they're lost-"
"I'm not their leader, Spencer is, she took over Ali's spot."
"I think all four of you are equally strong. Spencer might be a little bossy, but aren't we all? I know I am."
Hanna managed a slight giggle. "Yeah, I guess so..."
They talked some more for a while, and then Ella drove Hanna back to the school so Hanna could get her car. After hugging, they parted ways and went home.
The next day at school, it was raining, so all the students hurried inside the hallways. Some of them were drenched and cold, but they warmed up quickly thanks to the heaters. After Hanna and her classmates sat down, Ella started the lesson.
"Okay, guys and gals, we are going to be doing something fun today...like we did yesterday, because you all are on my good side right now and I'm in a happy mood...so two bonuses. First, pick a color, and second, write a poem about it...like what it makes you think of. For example, green is envy, green is sick, green is salad, green is go, and green is good luck. As you can see, it doesn't have to rhyme...but it can. So take out a pencil and paper, and let your imaginations soar!"
Hanna got her materials out of her backpack and wrote what was on the top of her head. She had been thinking of it since Ella mentioned picking a color. She decided to read hers aloud when she was finished.
"Red is passion. Red is blood. Red is anger. Red is love."
"Wow, deep," Emily commented with a smile.
"I love it!" Ella praised Hanna and sent her a smile. "Anyone else?"
Hanna flipped her paper over and the grin wouldn't leave her face. She enjoyed hearing others' poems, especially her friends'. When that activity was over, the students read their book, acted some parts out, and discussed them. It was another fun day in Ella's classroom. The only problem was that Travis wouldn't quit staring at Hanna. She'd stared him down a couple of times, but then she gave up. He didn't leave the classroom until she went to her next class.
Before she could get inside it, though, someone caught her by her upper arm, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. "Ah, fuck off!" she screamed, and glared at Travis. "Dude! What the hell? Don't you know who I am? Following me around like a lost puppy dog isn't the best way to get my attention!" People around her were gawking at the scene and muttering that she overreacted. They just didn't know better.
"Oh, sorry, Hanna...I didn't mean to surprise you like that...I'm not a creepy stalker, I promise." Travis held his hands up. "Forgive me?"
"Yeah, sure...after all, you did help Ella and I."
"I was wondering...my girlfriend broke up with me and moved away...she cut off all contact...and I'm going to be lonely again on the weekends. Do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?"
Hanna sighed and chewed on her lip. "I have a boyfriend...I'm sorry."
"That's too bad...I'll ask someone else."
He started walking away, but she stopped him. "On second thought, I don't know if I have one. I...kinda broke up with him, hung up, and he never called me back. I accused him of cheating...because he's helping some girl in Ravenswood." She lifted her shoulders up and down. "What do you want to dotomorrow night?"
"I was thinking dinner and a movie."
"Sounds good."
After Hanna's next class, she stopped at Ella's classroom. "Travis wants me to go on a date with him," she said while walking to a desk.
Ella looked up from what she was writing. "What did you say?"
"First I said no, then I said yes...what should I have said? I felt put on the spot."
"You can still bail out if you don't want to go."
"No, I can't break his heart like that. I know how that is."
"You don't have to hurt him, just tell him you got a last minute babysitting job."
"No, it's okay, it's not like we're attracted to each other...well, maybe he is to me, but...he knows I was attacked, so he won't try anything. I just feel like I'm betraying Caleb in some way. He didn't actually confirm or deny that he was cheating on me...he only told me things were complicated."
"Just because you go out somewhere with a guy doesn't mean you'll jump his bones."
"I have a feeling he'll expect me to be flirty or lean into him at the movies. I won't do it, though."
"If you want to go, you can...but if you would rather skip it, you certainly don't have to...that's really all the advice I can give you on this subject. You ask your mom, and I'm sure she'd tell you pretty much what I just said. Don't pressure yourself, Hanna."
"I think I should go...in fact, I will. It'll be a new thing for me, and it might actually help me."
"Well, fantastic, have fun!"
"Thanks!"
The truth was, that Hanna was nervous to go anywhere with any guy she just met, even though Travis knew what she went through. He could know all he wanted, but that didn't mean he was going to be a gentleman and respect her personal space. She only said yes because he was the first and only guy to properly ask her out on a date, besides Caleb.
On Friday night, she got ready for the date and told her mother and Ted where she was going. She gazed at herself in the mirror. "Here's to hoping I'll actually enjoy myself."
She was dressed in a gray blazer, light pink tank top, jeans, and gold heels. She didn't bother washing her hair, as she had done it that morning. She wore minimal makeup, her mascara and eyeliner only, and was pleased with her appearance. If she looked too dolled up, he'd think she was actually interested in him romantically, and she didn't wish to lead him on. She grabbed her purse and walked downstairs. When the doorbell rang, she waved goodbye to her mother and soon-to-be stepfather.
"Have a great time!" Ashley called out.
"Don't get home too late!" Ted added.
Travis picked her up at six, and her countdown to when it would most likely be over, started. He was in a suit, tie, and slacks.
"You went all out," she commented. "Sorry...I didn't know this was a fancy date...so I dressed casual."
"I was hoping to see you in some beautiful dress, but what you're wearing is fine. You're a blond bombshell enough as it is."
"Don't call me that!" Hanna felt like yelling."Well, we should have discussed what to wear!"
"I thought you dressed nice for dates."
"Dinner and a movie...I don't think so!" Hanna laughed her discomfort off. "That's okay. At least I'm not wearing my pajamas."
"You joke in an awkward situation. I like you."
Hanna forced a smile and kept it on her face as he helped her into the passenger seat. She didn't need or want him to hold open her door or push her into the seat with his hands on either side of her hips. She wanted him to keep his hands to himself. He tried assisting her with her seatbelt, but she shrugged him off of her and buckled it in herself. "It's okay, I got it."
"My last girlfriend liked to be pampered, most girls do..."
"Not me," Hanna muttered. "I apologize if I disappointed you."
He squeezed her shoulders. "You didn't. I don't mind."
After shutting her door for her, he got into the driver's seat. He drove to the restaurant first, and while he was parking, she undid her seatbelt and before he could let her out, she let herself out. She slammed his door and folded her arms across her chest. He grabbed her hand and led her to the restaurant. She hated physical contact, she hated how he would always glance at her from time to time, and she hated when he smoothed her hair down while she scooted herself to the table. She kept having to remind him that she wasn't a damsel in distress or an invalid.
"I can take care of myself, Travis. You might think of me as ungrateful, and maybe I am."
He sat on the other side of the table. "I can't help it, Hanna, you're so irresistible."
The millionth unpleasant shiver went through her body as he said that. She drank her water and then Travis ordered them a huge hunk of steak to share. She got some pasta and a slice of bread, because she wasn't about to let him direct what she was going to eat.
They talked about school, where Travis worked, and where he used to live. He was a gas station attendant, and he managed to slip in a stupid sexual innuendo, "I could pump your gas all night long," and she rolled her eyes. She checked her phone for new messages, but there were none. Nobody wanted to distract her when she was out with her family, as she had told her friends.
"Come on, baby, it was a joke," he said while chuckling at himself.
"Are you serious right now? I was sexually assaulted!" she hissed at him. "If you keep that up, I'm leaving!"
"I'm your ride."
"I can call my mom!"
"Okay, I'm sorry, I really am. I keep forgetting you're different."
"Why is that hard to remember? Do you have some type of learning problem?"
"No."
"Then it should be simple. No sex jokes...at all...period!"
"Got it."
They continued eating and then at the movies, what was playing, was an action movie. She kept acting like she was in the movie, through all her panic attacks when parts with people getting killed were on. He had his arm around her and he pulled her close, but all she wanted to do was run out of the theater and never look back.
When it was finally all over with, she wiped her tears away and he drove her home. She was about to leave his car and walk to her front door, but he quickly gave her a hug and planted his lips onto hers. She made herself kiss him back and then guilt and self-hate spread throughout her entire being.
"Thanks, it was the best night I've had in a while," Travis told her as she ran up her porch steps and rang the doorbell three times.
"You're welcome. Bye," she mumbled as he got back in his car and sped off. She knocked until Ashley opened the door.
"How was it?"
"He's boring...we're just friends, though."
Hanna walked upstairs and went into her room. She changed into her pajamas and got into bed. She texted her friends and told them she was available to talk. She was still wobbly, so she was glad to be laying down and relaxing. Her phone rang, and she answered it.
"Hanna, thank god!"
The squeaky, sad voice was almost not recognizable to her. "Aria?"
"Yeah. Ezra is a monster and a class A jerk!" Aria sniffled and cried for a few seconds.
"Okay, what happened?"
Hanna listened to her friend as she explained what happened through her blubbering. Ezra had apparently known Alison and done a news article on her disappearance and death, but he didn't know her killer. He even had a relationship with Alison; they dated for a while. Aria wasn't even upset about that too much. What really caused her pain, was that Ezra flirted with her at the bar to find out more about Alison.
"He used me for information!" Aria continued and then blew her nose. "He never loved me! Our whole relationship was built on a lie!"
"What a stupid fuck!" Hanna said. "Do Emily and Spencer know?"
"Yeah, we're all on a four way. They're coming over with ice cream and old movies tomorrow."
"I'll come too. Did you tell your family?"
"Thanks...and no, I didn't. I told my dad I was sick and I don't want to hear that they told me so."
"Come on girl, your mom isn't like that," Emily said.
"My dad is, and I'm staying with him until Sunday night...my mom is so happy that I don't want to throw bad news in her face...and Mike will want to punch Ezra again, but I don't want my little brother in trouble with the cops like last time. I told that asshole to get out of town, I never want to see him again."
"Oh, Aria, I'm so sorry, I wish I could hug you right now," Spencer responded, and the other two girls hummed in agreement.
"You all can tomorrow, and I can hear the love in your voices. It's enough support at the moment. Oh, someone's coming up...by the clicking of heels, I can tell it's Meredith."
"Ew," Hanna grumbled.
"She's actually being nice, she's bringing me tea, but I'm starting to think it's been spiked. It tastes weird and I really am feeling awful. I don't know if it's the tea or the heartache. She may still be a bitch, but I don't think she'd actually want to poison me..."
"Okay, call your mom, she can help you." Hanna sat up in bed. She started worrying when Aria didn't answer.
"Aria!" Emily shouted.
"Oh my god..." Spencer trailed off.
There was a click and a dial tone. Quickly, Hanna said goodbye to Emily and Spencer.
"I know her mom's number...my mom has it. I'm taking care of everything, okay? I have it all under control," Hanna said as calmly as possible. She hung up before they could answer. She called Ella, and waited for her to pick up the phone.
Thank you for reading and reviewing:ImaginaryGirlxx, britneymartina, topprueandyfan, Carlychristina8, CharmedWriter11, and feyhazelle!
