A/N-I'm back with the 4th installment of A Hellsing Halloween! We see the little kids weeee! Anyway I don't own Hellsing! WEEEE! Go and read young one! NYYYYOOO!!!

A Hellsing Halloween ch.4 The Basterds come

Well, the decorations finally got put up, after much speciation on where to put the last ghost. The bowls wore filled to the brim with candy. And Integral.. well... to say the lest.. "YOU KNOW THE VOICES IN MY HEAD SAID THAT YOU A BAD MAN AND COFFEE GOOD!" Integral had said, while hanging upside down on the ceiling fan, pointing to a ..plant. "YOU A BAD MAN! YOU NOT RESPOND TO INTEGRAL! YO FOO'!" "Great.. now master is talking in 3rd person what?" Alucard asked "The way she's talking?" Father Anderson replied. "You know..I don't like it when we agree.." Alucard said. "Likewise.." Father Anderson said.

Seras then walked in with drinks for everyone. "Here Father Anderson, you're coffee, Master, type A as always, Walter, you're tea." Seras then handed everyone there drinks. "Um..Sir.. you're tea.. with the extra sugar as requested.." Seras carefully handed her the cup. Integral on the other hand snatched the cup, and downed it in gulp. "WWWWWEEEEEEEEE! SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUGAR!!!!!!!!" Integral yelled as she ran to the other side of the manner. That is when the doorbell rang. "Well there here, who has candy duty?" Walter asked. Everyone steeped aside and pointed to Alucard. "He does!" everyone said. Alucard glared at everyone "Damn you all to HELL!" Alucard yelled. "Now Alucard, just do you're job and take this." Walter said while giving Alucard a clipboard with a blank sheet of paper. "What do I need that for?" "With us, we tally how many kids come." "Why?" "Don't know. Integral just one day said 'tally the kids' and that was that." "You mean her?" Alucard said pointing to the hyper Integral. "SEISSHIRO IS AN ASSWIPE!" "Who's 'Seisshiro'?" Seras asked "How the hell I'm I supposed to know?" Alucard said. Ding! Ding! "Would you go already!?" Walter shouted. "All right I'm goin'"

Alucard had put a tally on the paper when he opened the door. It was a little boy. No older then ten actually. "Give me my damn candy!" the boy said. ".. Say trick or treat.." Alucard said. "Hell no!" the boy yelled. "Then no candy for you." "GIVE ME MY GODDAMN CANDY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" "Using God's name in vain, wow, another friend to add to my list of people to meet in hell.." "SO WHAT!!??" "Your mom.. isn't she the local prostitute here?" Alucard asked puzzled. "Yeah so?" the boy replied "Well, no wonder you're a brat." Alucard said smirking. What he got was a mighty kick to the shin. "OOOOWWWWIIIEEE!!!" Alucard yelled as the kid laughed at poor Alucard's misfortune. "You want the candy, well go get it!" Alucard yelled as he threw a Crunch bar out into oncoming traffic. "You BITCH!" the boy yelled. "First off, I'm a MAN, second, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" That's right folks, Alucard lost his temper. With only one kid too! The child mealy humped and tried too get the candy. Since he couldn't get it, he flicked off Alucard and said "That's a lame costume anyway!"

Alucard was about to bring out his Jackals when Seras came out and saw him pointing his Jackals to the kid. "MASTER! YOU CAN'T KILL SOMEONE! HE'S HUMAN!" Seras screamed trying with all her strength to lower the guns. Integral came out from the vent saying "Human, Suman, Tuman, Fuuman! AHHH its Mr. Police- Police!" Integral then began to run from Walter and Father Anderson. "Which way did she go?" Anderson said "...Why do you care?" Alucard asked in his lazy voice. "Because.." Anderson said trying to hide his irritation. "Because Sir Integral took his coffee, and said it was bad and called him 'Mr. Five O'clock shadow man'" Walter said for Anderson, who was starting to turn red from the memory. "And you Walter?" Seras asked "The same thing, except she called me "Old Geezer' so where did she go?" Walter said. The two vampires pointed up "That way." They said. "Oh okay." Walter said "Well, come on Anderson." "HI HO SILVER AWAY!!!" Anderson said. Then they heard another voice. "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE! NEVER!" Integral yelled, obviously still on her sugar rush. "See? I told you saying that stupid line will show her whereabouts." said Walter.

The door went "Ding Dong!" and Alucard sighed. He grappled a bowl and the tally sheet. But the minute he steeped out, he almost fainted. You might be asking 'Why would our favorite King of the undead faint?' Well I'll tell you. Because there was literary thousands and thousands of children in the front lawn. All of which wore chanting "GIVE US CANDY!" Alucard then formed a plan in that head of his. "I hope this works" Alucard said to himself as he replaced the bullets with the fun sized candies. Alucard then pointed his Jackals towed the sky and began to shoot upwards. The candy fell from the sky, after hovering for a good five minutes. It hit the kid's sensitive head hard. To add to the first kick to the shin Alucard had gotten from the prostitute's son, all the children had formed a line, and preceded to kick him in the shin. Over and over again. Poor guy..

Only half of the kids had got there candy and there turn to kick Alucard in the shin, when... "Seras were out of candy!" Alucard yelled. "How is that possible?! I robbed plenty of CVS's to last a lifetime!" Seras replied. "NO YOU DIDN'T! I ATE IT ALL! IT WAS GOOD, MSOOD, AND SUGARY! WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!" Integral said in her sugar highness, as Walter and Father Anderson chased her with butterfly nets to 'avenge there drinks'.

"Well time to tell the brats to-" "Come back later" "Police girl, what do you mean 'Come back later'?" "What I mean is I'll go see if the Wal-mart up the street will give me candy 'for free' okay?" "Fine go Police girl. We seem to be the only sane ones here anyway." So Seras set out towed the Wal- mart. "Time to face the brats."

"What do you mean 'Come back later'!?" one of the kids screamed. "Well..we are out of candy..." Alucard said in a thoughtful tone. At hearing that the thousand kids left began to attack Alucard's shin. This took a good hour. So in the end.. "My shin is bruised!" Alucard complained.

A/N- Now I know I disappointed someone, somewhere over the rainbow. Well, Seras is going to steal from the local Wal-mart! Will Integral ever get off the sugar high? Eh who knows? Will Walter and Father Anderson ever 'avenge there drinks'? Will Father Anderson ever remember the reason he come there in the first place? Will we ever know the reason to never remind Integral it's Halloween? All this and more in the semi-conclusion of A Hellsing Halloween!