AN: Sorry for being late. I've been swamped with school, music, a play I was in and a serious case of writer's block. I'm working on the next chapter, making sure it won't be cringe and that it can be readable. Now for your entertainment in the style of trolling, I give you a half assed disturbingly written Nauhina fanfic omake featuring the Diarrhea song by Tim and Eric. Also, this omake has nothing to do with the actual story.

Dedicated to Snowgoons because even though I don't know you, I love you ;)


She stood there silently in the dark watching her husband. Sure, he knew almost nothing about her, but she knew everything about him. Was it wrong that she followed him quietly growing up little to no interaction between them until they were about nineteen years of age? Probably, but she didn't care. In a way, Naruto was Paul Sheldon and she was Annie Wilkes, she was his self-proclaimed number one fan and she would do anything to have him, and if they couldn't be together in life, she'd make damn sure they'd be together in death.

She'd do anything for him, to him, to make sure they'd be together forever. For him, she'd commit genocide, destroy the twin towers even.

"Diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea" her first born child, Bolt, started singing loudly. She hated that kid, she only had him to make sure Naruto wouldn't divorce her and stay with her "for the kids" in case he wanted to leave her.

"Oink, oink, oink, oink" he sang even louder in the same notes. Luckily for Hinata, Naruto slept like a log, and sometimes, he would talk in his sleep.

"Ah" he mumbled in his sleep.

He must be dreaming about me, Hinata thought believing he said her name.

"Sa-" Saw? What did he see?

"Ku-" No, not again, she though as she went to the closet, taking out the scarf she made for him oh so long ago.

"Ra… Sakura… don't leave me… I love you…" She fused chakara into the scarf and started to wrap it around his head waking Naruto up.

"Hinata… what are doing?" He asked still feeling drowsy.

"Hush… Everything will be okay, you'll soon forget about your feelings for that hussy soon, and then you'll only have eyes for me, just like last time, okay?" her tone was soft, smooth, hell it was downright disturbing. Naruto tried to move, but he couldn't budge. What did she do to him and what did she mean by 'like last time?' only to close his eyes.

He woke up to the smell of ramen.

"Ramen for breakfast? What did I do to deserve this?" He asked his wife, kissing her. He loved his wife Hinata, although though he couldn't recall what caused him to fall in love with her, nevertheless he loved her and she would be the only woman he could think of. Suddenly an image of the recently divorced Sakura Haruno popped into his head.

'Strange, why would I think of her?' He thought to himself, 'whatever, at least I have Hinata, she's the best.'

"Oh, I just made it because… I love you… Naruto" Hinata said 'and I will do anything to make sure you'll be mine, even if that means if I have to alter your emotions and memories."


Update: Wow, can't believe I'm getting so much hate from people who couldn't pass the third grade, or understand the basic concept of what fanfiction is... seriously, how dumb are you? I can write whatever the hell I want, so don't be an uber leftist by jamming your views down my throat or I swear to God I will write a Naruto did 9/11 fic or one where he's killed in a drive by like 2Pac or Biggie. Hell, I'd even do a Jonestown fic where Naruto, or Hinata, is the cult leader