A/N: Review, it gives me incentive to update. Oh, and thanks for those of you who took the time to review. It is much appreciated. And thank you to those of you who have read this story, even if you haven't reviewed.

*Drumroll*

Alex: Thanks for the review. I don't know why, but the first review on a story is always special to me =)

xXxSecretSmilerxXx: Yes, the whole story will not be as depressing...I hope...crap, why do I have to be good at writing angst?

Sheepobsessed: Your username rocks. Thanks for the wonderful review, it is much appreciated.

HeyParaVersaLeafScence: I hope I got your user name right. Yes, I tried to write Taylor as my comedic relief when I realized it didn't have any and I'm glad you liked it:) You like Caine? You'll see him this this chapter =) Thank you for the great review, much appreciated.

VanessaTemple: Thanks for the review. MUCH appreciated. You have no idea...

I do not own Gone. The characters belong to Michael Grant, and used here for entertainment purposes only. If I did, I would not change a single thing about it. Perfect things are few and far between these days.

Chapter Four

Journeys and Destinations

You will find as you live your life that life leads us to unexpected places all the time. How can we say this if we have any control over our destiny? Or is control an illusion, set in place to keep us thinking we are in the driver's seat of our lives? If one ponders the situation long enough, the truth will unveil itself. Their are certain circumstances that can never be accounted for, nor can they be predicted. The mystery of life is what makes it interesting. Our journey is infinite, it is eternal, the curves in the road make themselves only as we travel along them. The great mystery is were our path will take us, and how much of it was determined by us, and how much was decided by fate.

Astrid:

Astrid kept her face down on the bus. Pretending to be immensely intrigued by the tacky pattern on the seat in front of her. The fucken bus driver seemed to be taking them on a route which passed by every cocktail bar in Los Angeles. Either that, or this stupid city just had too many of them. Or that Astrid was up to her blue irises in stress and was looking for a way to forget all her troubles.

She sighed. Not that she didn't deserve the torture, the itch, the need. She had it all coming twice over. Who was she to complain that Sam left her, when he was only doing what was best by him.

The admission hurt. But it was true.

It was easier to put all the blame on him, even in her own mind she had begun to believe that Sam was the cause of her drinking problem. He had left her after all, who was to contradict her?

But it wasn't the truth. Astrid had begun drinking before Sam broke up with her. She had always had it under control in a way, but when he left, it spiraled out of control.

And no matter how depressed, angry, or thirsty Astrid got, she could never blame him for what he did. It hurt her so horribly, to know that every time someone you loved looked at you, they were reminded of times of torture, starvation and sickness. Sam never admitted it to her, but he had a depression. He smiled and laughed but it was all an act. He didn't realize that Astrid knew him a lot more than he thought. She could see through his guise, she could see that being around her was too much for him. To be honest, and this might be the first time she had ever admitted this even to herself, but being around him was to much for her to handle as well.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the worst dilemma. If two people who love each other cannot be around each other because of the memories of pain and anguish that resurface every time they look at each other or hear the others voice, what do you do? Do you: A, stay around, stay depressed, an option which will likely end in a dramatic double suicide; B, kill the person you love in their sleep, or C, leave them and try to recreate a life without said person.

Astrid understood Sam's dilemma, he couldn't stay with her because the memories were to painful. He couldn't kill her, at least she hoped he couldn't. So he had to leave, there was no other option.

Well, to be honest, that's were Astrid's sympathy ended. He wasn't gentle about explaining why they had to end. He yelled at her, made her feel horrible, he'd insulted her and told her to leave. That night she'd packed her things, and rove away from the man she loved, because she couldn't stay with him and she loved him to much to kill him. She didn't remember much about that night, she'd gone to the first bar she saw, left all her possessions in her car, gotten wasted. That morning she woke up to hammers and drills in her head and a complete stranger next to her. In reflection, she thanked the heavens she didn't remember that night.

That continued for months...almost three. One night, she ran into Sanjit at a club. She was in a pickle, she had no job, she'd sold her car, she was about to evicted from her cheap ass apartment. She's come onto him, but he'd refused her but brought her home. Jack and Brianna took her in, got her into a program, a job. Sober life was not easy, the images that the drink washed away had no restraint. Children with the word "FREAK" etched into their foreheads, Drake and his whip hand on her...Little Pete...

She had to live with all her guilt and scars without the wonderful assistance of booze. A feat not possible without her friends.

And that was her Journey. How she ended up here, sitting on this stinky bus, on the way to San Fransisco. Astrid did not look forward to explaining the circumstances of her sudden arrival, but she did feel better knowing she would soon be in the company of a friend. A friend who would help her disappear.

Sam:

"I hate you,"

"Whatever,"

"I wish you'd die,"

"Uh huh,"

"I hope you die of Gonorrhea and rot in hell,"

"Sure,"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Not really,"

This was what Sam was stuck with. Chatterbox Taylor, a busted motorcycle, and no motor skills to speak of.

Ever had those moments when you were sure that things couldn't get any worse? Well, if you have then you have a pretty good idea of how Sam was feeling as he looked down at the smoking remains of his bike, stranded in an ally still in LA, trying his best to block out the venomous words of his companion.

He sighed. In this moment, things couldn't get worse. But if he continued on this journey, things were bound to get much worse. Nothing he could do about that but enjoy the time when this was the worst it could get.

"Alright Taylor, let hit the road."

Taylor looked flabbergasted. "Walk?"

Sam just smiled, enjoying her shocked expression.

"At least tell me how far away Caine lives."

"Oh, not far, Taylor, we should be there by dark," Sam replied mysteriously.

Taylor frowned an evil, hating frown but followed Sam's lead out of the ally.

They chatted about pointless topics, movies and music mostly. It surprised Sam to find he had quite a bit in common with her.

Before the FAYZ wall came down seven years ago, Taylor had been nothing other than an annoyance. Irritating and loud. Once they were free, Taylor had made several advances on Sam, although she'd never openly admitted she had feelings for him. He'd tried to, as gently as he could, get the point across that they could never be. He had a feeling that somebody talked to her at some point, although he still didn't know who it was, and told her to leave him be.

Years passed before he and Taylor spoke again. Well, it wasn't exactly speaking. They emailed. At first Sam didn't know what to say to her, they passed pleasant but formal and non personal emails for a time. She said that she wanted to be friends, Pen pals is the term she used. Sam saw no problem with gaining a pen pal, although he never told Astrid about this. Not that it meant anything to him that way, Taylor became important to him as a friend but never more than that.

Seeing Astrid every day may have given him company, but he'd be lying if he said he was happy in their time together. His mental image of the woman he loved was tainted with blood, and he would be reminded of their time of suffering. There came a point when he couldn't deal with it anymore. His depression could not lessen with her around. He wasn't proud of the way he ending things with her, but it had to be done. He could see it in her eyes that he had the same affect on her. He couldn't bare to see pain in those blue eyes, especially when he was the cause of that pain.

He never expected her to forgive him. He was beyond redemption and he knew it. Love was not enough to forget the past, and he would remain unforgiven and unforgotten for the rest of his days, doomed to remember the pain of suffering he cause to those he claimed to love the most.

The loneliness struck him hard. The emails passed between him and his pen pal became more frequent and more personal. It had been Taylor who first suggested they meet for coffee, although he had made it clear they would remain just friends. He'd relished in the company of a friend, one who didn't wish him a slow and painful death.

They'd maintained their friendship with occasional meetings, mostly resulting from Taylor bouncing in unannounced. Sam outwardly acted annoyed by her sudden appearances but in truth the spontaneity of her company was oddly refreshing and made Sam feel relaxed.

That was their Journey to friendship, how they ended up here on the sidewalk of LA, their destination, Sam's loving Brother Caine. Sam was rather anxious to see how this all played out.

Drake was ecstatic. He was on the outskirts of Perdido Beach. It had taken him oh so long to walk here, but it was worth every scratch and step. He was so close he could feel his Master calling out to him. The quarantine was a nuisance, he would have to find a way to get through that ridiculously high chain fence. After he killed the patrol guards of course.

It's kind of funny, when you think about it. The FAYZ wall finally came down only to be replaced by another barrier. In fact, it was so funny that Drake let out a small bark at the sheer irony.

His Journey was almost to the climax. His destination. The mine shaft. His Master...

Sam:

"It doesn't look like much."

"He doesn't waste money on fancy houses, it's actually quite smart when you think about it. He prefers stays under the radar."

"I didn't realize you and your brother had become BFFs,"

"We're not, you know I still can't stand the guy. I know he hates my guts. We tolerate each other, never any more than we have to."

Sam and Taylor were standing outside Caine's house. It was true, it wasn't much. Small, but tidy. Of all the survivors, it was probably Caine who had ended up the most successful, financially that is. His ambition paid off in the end. They were all given a settlement, a starter fund on life so to speak, when they left the FAYZ. It was people like Sam and Astrid who blew it off on booze and such. Caine invested his share, smartly.

Speak of the devil himself, Caine opened the door. He looked as composed as ever, dignified and proper. He wore casual designer clothes, plain but good quality. His hair was the same, signature dark waves. His eyes...as gleaming with scheming desire as ever.

"Taylor, what a pleasure as always," Caine smirked at the girl flirtatiously before gruffly acknowledging his brother with "Sam."

"Caine," Sam said, equally as gruff. "I'm sure you heard."

"Drake," Caine said, "I expected you to show up. You know I have no control over him anymore."

"I'm not here to ask you to reel in your pet, Caine."

Caine studied his brother for a moment.

"Come in then, we have a lot to talk about," Caine lead Taylor in chivalrously, leaving Sm to usher himself in. Three minutes talking to his brother and already he was on edge. He hoped he wouldn't have to stay long.

Astrid:

The bus dropped her off on a busy street not far from her final destination. Astrid hoisted her bag onto her shoulders and began her walk. She was only a few blocks from where she needed to be. She had called her acquaintance, and set up a meeting in a public area. The person she was meeting was about as paranoid as you could get, and although Astrid wouldn't hesitate in calling that person her close friend, she didn't expect them to start painting each others toenails before it was verified that she was really her.

It was all to protect against one person. Astrid knew the address of the person she was meeting but that address was never discussed over the phone, they would meet at the park bench. Astrid would be asked a question only she and the person knew. Then the real talking would begin.

The park bench. Astrid sat down, tired from a day's worth on sitting on a sweaty bus and her walk. She checked the time on her phone, she was five minutes late. She looked around but couldn't spot her friend. it was a pleasant little park, filled with muffled chatter and dog's barks. A fountain gushed nearby.

These people were so blissfully ignorant. Astrid found watching these normal people going about their normal lives was relaxing. They were so lucky but numbly unaware of their luck. She wistfully watched them, wishing she could be a part of the flow of normalcy. Their habits, their trends. She could never be one of them, she was permanently changed. She would never know the simple life, she would never fit in to the world she was once a part of. She missed it dearly, but mourning her old life was a waste of emotion.

"I still find it eerie, how normal the world is after everything we've seen. It never changes."

Astrid turned her head to see her friend walking towards her. Diana smiled and sat down next to Astrid.

"I find it oddly comforting, I feel happy for their blindness to the things we've seen," Astrid said.

"You and your compassion," Diana smirked. "I'm sorry I'm late, my boss Derek gave me a hard time about some undercooked chicken,"

"You mean your boss Marlene? And you don't cook, you manage a convenience store," Astrid replied calmly. These tests meant to determine that she was indeed Astrid were expected. Diana was in hiding. Hiding from Caine.

Diana raised an eyebrow at Astrid's response. Then broke into a beautiful smile.

"It's good to see you, Astrid."

"You too, Diana."

Diana rose from her seat, "Come on, Blondie, let's eat. I'm starved and your looking too thin again,"

Astrid smiled and followed her friend. Their friendship was an unexpected turn in her life's events, but it was for Diana too. She felt safer in her company, she knew no one would find her here. No could find her here simply because no one knew where Diana lived except Astrid. She breathed in the sent of the city, feeling much calmer now.

She would be safe here.

She hoped.

Like I said, a bit of a longer chapter. I was going to add a cliff hanger but I am having a sympathetic day.

PS. This is not a Sam/Taylor fic. This is and Astrid/Sam fic. Taylor fills the role of annoying/comedic relief sidekick only.

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