Disclaimer: Sadly, Lucifer is not mine, nor is Supernatural.

This chapter is pre-Sam.


Lucifer smirked as the demon ran away from his cage. Why did he have to be so pretentious? All the demon did was wear his usual black suit, but noooo, Lucifer wanted him to put on a green suit for the holiday.

The demon came back five minutes later dressed in a green suit.

"Much better." Relief shone on the demon's face.

"What now sir?"

Lucifer looked around his cage. Skulls painted green created "four skull clovers" on the walls, every bit of furniture was an obnoxious green, and Lucifer was wearing the "Pinch Me and I'll kick you in the Shamrocks" t-shirt a demon gave him last year.

"Now, I need alcohol." With a snap of his fingers, a bar appeared in front of Lucifer. He sat down on one of the barstools and picked up a beer. Raising his foamy mug, he called, "Cheers," and downed the amber colored liquid.

Lucifer continued to down alcoholic drinks, one after the other, in spirit of the holiday.

Drunk, he called to the demon outside, "Do you like me, Frank?"

The demon in question, whose name was not Frank, rolled his eyes. "Of course sir."

Lucifer flopped down on the green couch, beer sloshing out of the cup and onto his shirt. "Nah man. What I meant was, uh, do you think I'm a good person?"

The demon, much used to Lucifer's drunken questions, answered, "You're the ruler of Hell, sir."

Lucifer wasn't satisfied. "Do you think I'm a good ruler? Do you, uh, do you-" a loud belch –"think I'm fit to be ruler of Hell?"

Lucifer had to be at the point where he'd forget everything tomorrow, the demon reasoned. Why not give it to 'im?

"Sir, in all honesty, you are not fit to rule Hell. You are childish and, locked up as you are, you're useless to us. Honestly, the only reason you even HAVE demons down here watching over you is to punish us."

Lucifer, suddenly not drunk anymore, stood up, eyes burning red. "I thought you were a backstabbing piece of shit."

The demon was confused, and extremely scared. Lucifer, THE Lucifer, was mad at HIM. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Damn it, he was supposed to be drunk!

The demon voiced as much. "But, you were drunk!"

Lucifer laughed. "It would take much more than a few beer cases to get an angel drunk. I'd need to drink an entire liquor store, at least."

The demon frowned. Lucifer seemed awfully cheery to have just heard him be called a child.

"DANTE!" Lucifer yelled. A demon, black hair slicked back, sashayed into the room.

"Sir?" His smug smirk really got onto the demon.

"You were right, he is a traitor. Give him to the Hellhounds for a few days, and then get Ruby to use that knife I gave her on him."

The demon blanched. Dante bowed low. "Of course, sir."

The demon was dragged, screaming, out of the room.