A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Furthermore, I also don't endorse the use of illegal drugs and other harmful substances. This is only a work of fiction which I hope would remind you of what it feels like to fall in love for the first time while also being confused with yourself and the world around you (it's completely normal!). If you have problems, talk to a trusted friend or see a professional. Be safe, kids. Now, for the questions:
1. What was your breakfast this morning?
2. What do you do when you're hurt?
So you swallow your heart and you swallow your pride
You've got to be tough if you want to survive
— Kodaline, Unclear
Mikan Sakura
She had been observing her reflection on the mirror inside her bathroom when she heard shuffling of feet and a thud by, what she guessed, was her bedroom window. For a minute, she thought of Rapunzel and wished she had a magic frying pan with her. Putting her bathrobe on and securing it tightly around her waist, she walked towards her door and silently opened it.
Mikan screamed.
There was a stranger sitting on the floor, peering by the window as if looking for any signs of his pursuers. Upon hearing her scream, he stood up and swiftly walked towards where she stood and covered her mouth with his hand.
"Shh, it's me," the boy whispered.
Recognition dawned upon her when she had a good look of the intruder. It was Natsume Hyuuga dressed in a black shirt, jeans, and . . . white socks? He was breathing heavily, perspiration evident on his forehead. The brief silence was broken when they heard the door of her parents' room open followed by a Mikan, is everything alright? from her mother.
She looked back at Natsume with her eyebrows creased, silently demanding for an answer. He removed his hand and said, "Don't turn me in."
She would've answered back at his callous way of asking her a favor. Or simply shouted that it was Natsume Hyuuga who entered her bedroom at this hour. Or ran as fast as she could to get out and call the local police. Or screamed again. But when he gave her an almost-pleading look, she found herself locking her door and answering her parents, "I'm completely fine, no worries! I just saw a cockroach and got surprised for a bit."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. I already took care of it."
"Alright, sweetie. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
She heard them retreat back to their bedroom and she felt cold with relief. She walked towards her desk and awkwardly stood by it, her hands tightly grasping her pastel yellow bathrobe. She breathed, ". . . So?"
He didn't answer. Rather, he proceeded to draw her curtains to a close which briefly made Mikan anxious. Certain that he only did so to ensure that no one would find him, she asked again, "Mind explaining what you're doing on a school night? Actually, no, don't answer that. Why are you here?"
"Had to hide. Someone's chasing me."
"Because?"
"I thought I only have to answer the last question." At this point, he was already seated on her bed.
"Look, you were the one who came here uninvited. Out of nowhere. I let you into my room without telling my parents, mind you. It's only fair that you tell me what's going on."
He ran a hand over his face before replying, "Lost a game and got dared to steal some chick's thong. Didn't know her grownass boyfriend was around when I sneaked in. Obviously, he ran after me." He spread his arms open. "So, here I am now."
"Why my house though? You literally live right there," she said while pointing at the window that was concealing his house.
"Forgot my keys. Mom's not home. Saw that your windows were open."
"Did he recognize you?"
"No, I don't think so. It's pretty dark outside and I'm wearing black."
She hesitantly looked at his shoes . . . or absence thereof. "What happened to your shoes?"
"Had to throw it at him so he'd slow down for a bit. Bastard's surprisingly fast."
She nodded in understanding before replying in a semi-reprimanding tone, "What you did was wrong though. It just doesn't make sense—"
"Things don't always have to make sense," he said silently, directly looking at her eyes. Through her soul.
Natsume said it in such a carefree yet certain manner and Mikan felt something inside her breaking into smithereens.
Natsume Hyuuga
Feeling that there would be no more questions coming his way, he asked, "Do you have a spare towel I can borrow?"
"Y-Yes, of course."
He watched as she turned around to get a towel from her closet and a couple of papers from her desk. As she sat on the bed a couple of feet away from him, he caught a whiff of vanilla that seemed to ooze out of her.
She smelled nice.
Natsume discreetly pulled the front of his shirt self-consciously and looked down. He smelled like sweat and asphalt.
"We're classmates in Lit Appreciation and there'll be recitation tomorrow. Mr. Narumi said we'll discuss this poem," she said while pointing at a particular page before turning to him with a soft smile. "Oh, and here's your towel. You can use the bathroom."
"Alright."
Surprisingly, his unexpected stay in his neighbor's room hadn't been as awkward as he initially thought it'd be. Although he wouldn't admit it out loud, he's grateful that she let him in despite not sharing a familiar relationship together. Sakura was actually a pretty decent human being to talk to. Quite tedious with all her questions and almost-lectures, yes, but she'd been nothing but nice since he got here.
He borrowed the towel to wipe the sweat off his face and body. He only had to wait a couple of minutes to make sure that the chick's boyfriend—monster Kintarou—is no longer around this area. Satisfied with how he felt compared to awhile ago, he went out of the bathroom. The first thing he noticed was the small collection of books stashed on the wall-mounted shelf beside her bed.
"Do you like books too?" Sakura asked out of the blue, probably after noticing how he intently looked at her collection.
"No," he lied. "I just imagined you'd have tons of books around here."
"Ah, the honor student image, I see," she said while crossing her arms across her chest. She had already changed into pyjama pants and a loose shirt, probably while he was occupying her bathroom.
"Yeah, I guess."
"My parents, especially my dad, don't really appreciate books. Like they don't want me reading them," she explained as she sat on her bed. Natsume followed suit and sat beside her, maintaining that three-feet distance between them. They're still strangers, after all.
"Why?"
"Uhm . . . they think it makes me super emotional and detached from reality. That's why I don't have a lot."
"Old people always think they know what's best for their kids."
"I read in the library whenever I can though," he heard Sakura say in an attempt to defend her selfish parents.
"In secret, right?"
"Well, yeah . . . My dad has this future planned out for me and he doesn't want me to get distracted."
"You're what, sixteen? They're just books. You shouldn't be thinking of a career nor letting them dictate what you can and can't do." After shaking his head in amusement, he added, "Live a little."
"Says someone who failed tenth grade last year," she muttered but he heard her loud and clear. It sounded like an accusation, a confirmation that he's really not going anywhere in life. Even if it were true, it still hurt to hear it that way.
"News does travel fast around here," he mused, trying to ignore the faint stab in his chest. Sakura was still a stranger to him anyway and even after tonight, she'd still be. Her comment didn't and shouldn't matter.
Mikan Sakura
"I-I didn't mean it that way."
"It's fine. It doesn't matter."
Her comment made her red in the face and small in front of Natsume. She knew she said it to get even for the way he implied that her parents were overly strict on her, not trusting her capacity to make decisions. If she were another person, she would've agreed but she felt indebted to her parents for giving her the life she had. The least she could do was trick herself into believing that there's nothing wrong with having your future figured out by other people.
It felt weird for someone who's not even close to her to put the truth out in the open.
And the truth hurt.
And when you're hurt, the immediate response is to inflict pain on the other as well. Humans are selfish and pathetic that way.
Natsume Hyuuga
As awkward silence filled the room, he proceeded to check the time on his wristwatch—10:27 PM. He was pretty sure that monster Kintarou would have already been out of the area and had gone back to his girlfriend's house. He also heard the familiar purr of Kaoru's Camaro being driven back into the garage.
Out of habit whenever he bids someone goodbye, he touched her right knee which made her involuntarily jerk a little. If they were close, he would've humored her about it but they weren't so he said, "Mom's home. Gotta go."
"Y-Yeah . . ."
He grabbed his copy of the poem set, walked towards the window, and pulled the curtains apart to exit the same way he entered half an hour ago. When he was already on the other side, he heard Sakura call out to him, "Natsume!"
"What?"
"Talking to you was," she paused for a bit as if thinking of the right word. " . . . nice. Have a good night's sleep. See you in school."
And the sinister side of him thought that a good night's sleep either meant taking sleeping pills or smoking pot. His mom's around so he'd had to settle for the former.
But she doesn't need to know that.
He nodded and instead of replying with a goodnight of his own, he said, "Shut your window."
