**For Authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1

Misunderstood 4/?

"Sandra let me in please. I'm not moving until you let me in and let me apologise." Gerry said loudly through the letter box as Sandra stared down the hall from the living room door. He'd been standing on the other side of her front door knocking loudly for nearly 20 minutes and refusing to accept that she wasn't going to let him in. It was getting embarrassing, it was almost midnight already and he was showing no signs of moving if he kept it up the residence committee in her quiet street were going to be getting together a petition to have her evicted!

"You've got 5 minutes before I throw you out and if after that you keep banging on my door I'll get uniform out here to arrest you for disturbing the peace." She sighed finally opening the door and standing aside to let him in. "I mean it Gerry 5 minutes so you better make it good,"

Stopping when he'd made it into the living room and turning to look at her Gerry felt his heart ache and the guilt he was already multiply as he realised she'd been crying. When they got together he'd promised himself and her that she would never shed a single tear on account of him. Now not only had he broken that promise but he'd done it in style. All he wanted was to pull her into his arms, wipe away those tears and tell her how sorry he was but the way she was standing, keeping he sofa between them and with her arms folded firmly told him it wasn't going to be that easy. Only words could solve the problem now and suddenly those words were eluding him.

"Three and a half minutes and counting Gerry." Sandra snapped when her patience with him staring at her and saying nothing ran out.

"I'm sorry…"

"So you've said so if that's all you've got you might as well go now and save yourself 3 minutes."

"I know I was an idiot, a complete tosser actually. I love you, I was jealous, I don't want to lose you the thought that someone might come along and take you away….."

"I'm not a car, or a mobile phone Gerry I can't be "stolen" I thought you trusted me. I thought you knew I loved you too and I didn't want to throw what we have away any more than you do. Is that really what you think of me? Is this the truth finally coming out? Do you think I'm so easy that all it takes is for him to turn up with some drunken memories and one unwelcome kiss and I'd throw this all away?" Sandra replied determined not to cry again, she'd been angry enough with herself for allowing herself to cry over him when she was alone she definitely didn't want to do it again in front of him.

"No of course it's not what I think of you. As soon as you left I knew I'd made a mistake but you wouldn't talk to me then I went to see Jack and….."

"You did what?" She asked as Gerry was hit by the realisation that he'd just made his second mistake of the night. It was ok to go talk to Jack but it wasn't ok for her to find out he had when she was still so angry with him. To talk to Jack meant that their friend knew what had happened between them, had been dragged into their row and she'd never be happy about that.

"I'm sorry but I needed to find out how to get you to listen to me! I thought Jack would have some idea he knows you better than any of us. As it was he basically told me I was a blind idiot who gave tossers a bad name but he did say one thing I already knew. The only way to make you see how serious I was about being sorry was to come back here and not leave until you let me explain."

Sighing as she reached for the bottle of wine on the table and a spare glass from the breakfast bar Sandra poured them both a drink before handing him his.

"Gerry this is never going to work if we don't trust each other. The problem wasn't that Stewart kissed me tonight it was the fact that you couldn't see that just because he did didn't mean I would let it go any further. You didn't trust me enough to believe I'd stop it straight away because I don't want him or anyone else but you. How can we make this work if that's what you feel like?"

"But I do trust you. I over reacted to seeing him kiss you I do know that you love me but it doesn't mean it didn't make my stomach knot and my heart break so see another man with his hands on you kissing you in a way only I want to be able to." Gerry replied setting his untouched wine on the table and finally taking a few tentative steps toward her. Right now he wanted nothing more than to comfort her, to take her in his arms and take away all the pain and doubt he's caused and make her see that they were still worth fighting for.

"Stewart Barlow means nothing to me, he didn't even mean that much to me twenty odd years ago when I slept with him to begin with. I love you and the reason I didn't tell you about what happened back then was that I knew you'd get jealous but I was wrong to keep it from you. I should have told you and explained and then maybe we wouldn't have ended up here." Sandra relented giving a little on her mental insistence that everything that had happened was his fault.

"Can't we just forget about it, forget about Barlow altogether and get on with making each other happy like we were before he arrived?" Gerry smiled almost sure he was going to get the answer he wanted until he saw her glance at the floor refusing to meet his eyes, "Sandra look at me, please tell me you're not going to throw everything we have away because of one idiotic act on my part."

"I don't want to throw anything away, I want to forget about it but you really hurt me tonight, the one thing I always thought was that you loved me enough to trust me if I don't have that belief anymore is there really any point?"

"But you still love me?"

"Of course I do." Sandra replied, letting her fingers trace the soft stubble on his cheek as he looked at her expectantly. "I'm just not sure that's enough anymore."