A/N: To everyone who reads this...especially Natty...I'm EXTREMELY SORRY for the delay! ...I really hope this chapter is worth the wait...enjoy!xD

Bryan Down Under

Chapter Three

"And what do you mean by that?" asked Sanguinex, quite hurt after having been told by Robert that having a crush on Bryan Kuznestov was a bad problem.

"It isn't you..." assured the German with a lazy flick of the wrist. "It's him. He's a really hard catch."

"A tough cookie!" added Johnny.

"The impenetrable wall!" sighed Oliver dreamily.

"The man with no tickle," said Enrique.

Four heads turned to him with '?!' written all over their faces.

"What?" the blonde asked. "I'll give you a backyard fountain if that isn't true..."

"Well, anyway," Robert continued. "Most people who've gotten crushes on Bryan abandon their cause. Other idiots who push through though, get humiliatingly turned down. Knowing you, I'm sure you're neither, Sang?" he smiled.

The vampire shook his head. "I've made up my heart. I DO like Bryan, and as sure as yeah I'd kill to make him mine."

The noble was a tad bit alarmed at the sudden energy. "Let's try not to take this to the next level, okay? For now it's Kuznetsov 101."

He turned to his team mates for help. "Mind chipping in?"

"To start off, he's from the Blitzkrieg Boys," the Italian began with a smirk. "Well, formerly known as the Demolition Boys under Boris' management, but come to think of it, the names pretty much mean the same thing. Bryan's got green-blue eyes and lilac colored hair—"

"Oh come off in Giancarlo!" said Robert. "Tell us something we don't know!"

"Shush!" said Oliver. "It's the basics. He likes wearing fur and tight-fitting or short things..."

"High combat boots not to mention," Johnny added with some enthusiasm. "He isn't much of a talker but when he does, he sure talks tough."

"He's got a hairy chest!" the greenette squealed.

His best friend's jaw dropped. The others looked none too surprised.

"How would you know THAT?!" Enrique accused.

The Frenchman giggled. "Since he's from Russia, you know...Europe...I deduced that his bodily structure would adapt to the cold."

"Oliver," said Sanguinex, trying to follow the youngest Majestic's train of thought. "WE'RE from Europe. You don't see any of US ripping our tops in half and flaunting chest hair..."

"Argh!" groaned the German as the Highlander beside him erupted in peals of laughter. "Bryan isn't THAT old yet!"

"Sometimes I seriously don't think you're a boy," the blonde told Oliver, which earned him a whack.

"Got anymore remotely useful information?" asked their guest vampire as he rose a red eyebrow at Johnny who had hit the floor and was rolling on the carpet.

"I do," sighed Robert. "He enjoys the company of his team...well, I'm not sure about Ian because he's annoying as HELL, but I'm positive that there's a mutual connection. The subject about the Abbey, captivity, torture and imprisonment are definitely sensitive and therefore make BAD conversations. Bryan likes politics though, and being up to date with current events around the globe. Damned nationalistic, him. But he's open to decent, relatively intelligent discussions about history."

"I take it you know all this because you've actually had such a conversation?" came Johnny, who had finally recovered.

The purple-haired man reddened slightly. "He's actually very good company if you know how to play your cards right. Unless he deems you someone not worth his time (take Daichi for example), he's an approachable guy. Once, he and Kenny bonded so-to-speak for a whole afternoon just talking about motorbikes!"

Sanguinex grew uneasy. "My sentiments exactly," he said. "What if he, quote, deemed me as someone unworthy of his time? What could we possibly have a conversation about?"

"Do you like food?" Oliver asked sweetly. "Rei Kon told me Bryan likes home cooked meals and could do one hell of a stir-fry."

"Or music," Enrique suggested. "You two could talk about music."

"But you haven't told me what music he likes," said the vampire with a slight whine.

"If I remember correctly," continued the Roman. "He likes...Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Simple Plan, All American Rejects...hates Pop and RnB, with some few exeptions (like hiphop). Oh and he likes L'Arcenciel..."

Sanguinex frowned. "Those guys who sung Ready, Steady, Go from Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"Yeah," replied the French boy. "And Driver's High from Great Teacher Onizuka..."

"Was it them?" asked his short-tempered team mate. "I though it was Porno Graffiti."

"No, they sung the other song, Hitori No Yoru..."

"You two could talk about FMA..." Robert told the lovesick undead teen beside him, steering the conversation before it got lost elsewhere. "...or Gravitation or Evangelion or something violent and bloody..."

"Wolf's Rain and Texhnolyze," answered the young chef among the party. "Their violent and bloody..."

His best friend looked scandalized (again). "You watch those?!"

"Yeah...I like them. Or you could talk about Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle..." Oliver continued suggesting.

Other heads turned to look at him.

"What?" he said. "It's intriguing! Fine! You two could talk about Yu-Gi-Oh or Digimon for a broader common ground...or Card Captor Sakura."

Johnny nodded. "Everyone enjoyed Card Captor Sakura at one point in their lives."

"Beyblade," muttered the Italian. "Might as well bring Beyblade into the lot..."

"But I don' t watch any of those..." protested Sanguinex.

"How about books?" asked the noble. "Bryan reads a wide variety of printed material."

"Harry Potter!" piped the greenette.

To Sanguinex's surprise, Enrique and Johnny yelled and covered their ears. He gave Robert an incredulous look as a silent question.

"They don't want to hear spoilers for the last book."

The redhead 'oh'-ed. They stared at each other for a few moments then at the three lunatics yelling and bouncing about.

"So..." began the vampire. "How am I actually going to get started with Bryan?"

The playboy and the hothead stopped.

"Y'know Bryan isn't exactly a vending machine people come to for decent conversations," the former observed. "We've got to have an approach...a cover story...a good excuse."

"Boy have you gotten us fired up," said his best friend sarcastically. "Any real proposals, genius?"

The five teens fell silent as they thought of how to get Sanguinex hooked up with his crush once and for all.

--

Even during Robert's narration of recent events, Kai Hiwatari was laughing his ass off.

"Sang likes Bry?" he asked disbelievingly, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "Now THERE'S something to do! Aw man, I've got a talk with Kuznetsov tonight!"

"Oh don't force him!" Oliver exclaimed in earnest. "Sang would never forgive you if you did!"

The Russian dismissed their doubts with a haughty look. "Don't get me wrong or anything," he said. "I won't spill right away. It's just that Bryan's needed a sort of push to get on with his love life ever since a horrible break-up with his last boyfriend. He may keep saying he isn't ready yet but damn that guy needs to be loved by someone."

The Majestics edged closer to the bluenette as his expression turned serious.

"Tala and I notice it," said Kai. "Bryan knows what he wants but doesn't know who to go about in getting it. He's never been exactly the expert on making the straight-forward move like what you guys are encouraging Sanguinex to do. It's a part of his charm, though thing is, he has the last word."

On a lighter, much disturbing note, the Russian added, "Plus he's been extremely pissed because Voltaire made him wear underwear that won't allow him to have sex for as long as he wears it...which is forever."

"What?!" yelped four voices and Kai laughed.

"Don't worry about it! Abbey inside stuff..."

There was a pathetic chuckle of appreciation.

"Sanguinex and Bryan," Johnny observed. "They'd make an odd couple, don't you think?"

"Is Sang Bry's type?" the German asked.

"Well, I don't know Sanguinex," said their guest. "I'm guessing if he's mysterious and sadistic then those two will get along just fine."

"Love moves in mysterious ways," sighed Oliver.

"Now hang on a minute," came Kai. "I'll make sure Bryan actually wants to associate himself with Sang..."

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," frowned Enrique.

"Oh no no, Bryan likes associating himself with bad things," the bluenette replied, distracted. "Would it be alright with you guys if I tell Tal' about this so he could help?"

There was a general murmur of assent.

"Whatever rocks your boat, and thanks for the kilt again," said Johnny.

"So I guess this is thank you!" he concluded, standing up.

The four aristocrats followed the suite.

"No Kai," said Robert. "Thank YOU."

--

"Did Kai say Bryan wasn't exactly the expert on making the straight forward move?" Oliver asked once the Russian had flown back to his motherland.

"Yeah..." his three friends confirmed.

"So...he's not exactly dominant is he?"

They blinked.

TBC

A/N: Have a laugh...till the next! ...but I'd need to hear from y'all...enjoy!xD and ciAo...