1Say Uncle

Chapter 4

" Um, well...ya see..." Munch was floundering. No really, the motions he was making with his face resembled quite closely that of a flounder. He quickly dropped the confused and trapped puppy face and put on a guarded, extremely defensive one. With a grunt, he announced, "Forget I even said anything."

Olivia hid a laugh behind her hand, deciding to coax him on, and throw the others off in the process. "Munch, there's no way we're letting you off that easy." She glared at him as if demanding answers.

What is she doing?!...Munch's brain quickly went into over drive, when he finally figured her plan (which only took a few seconds, really) he glared right back at her,

oh, that little... she's enjoying this!!

"Yeah, man. Who is she?" Demanded Fin, who then pleaded like a 14 year old girl dying for a hot piece of gossip. If not for his current situation, Munch would have laughed. "Come on man, I'm your partner. No secrets, remember?"

"Uncle John?" Julia asked in her own unique, adorable, and purposefully conniving way.

Munch shot another look at Olivia, as if asking, "Come on! Help me out here?" which, though she understood him perfectly, only made her laugh again. She had to swivel her chair around to hide her grin this time, for it would have probably extended past her hand. (Yeah, that's how munch she was enjoying this.)

Munch bit his lip, and after what only seemed like seconds, good ol' Fin decided to break that silence with a slightly suspicious,

"She is as she, right?"

This was the last straw for Olivia. Turning around, she quickly gauged Fin's seriousness, and then preceded to burst into a fit of laughter. The whole group turned there attention abruptly toward her. Even Elliot, who had been spending the last minute or so gazing longingly at Julia, was woken from his trance from his partner's sudden out burst.

" Liv, are we missing something here?" Demanded an extremely befuddled Elliot.

' He's cute when he's confused," Noted Julia quickly, before jumping to her not-quite-boyfriend's defense,

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but I'm sure we would all like to figure it out soon and get back to work!"

"It's Casey isn't it?" Supplied Cragen, who, to be honest, no one even knew had entered the room.

"Um...no?" Said Munch, in a way that made it sound like more of a question.

" John, was that a question? That better not have been a question!" Demanded Olivia in her " demanding girlfriend" tone. The rest of the people in the room were surprised to see Munch flinch.

Alright, that's it, if they don't get it in the next minute, I'm just gonna announce it and then run like hell, he thought. Julia, however, stopped his line of thought when she broke out into huge grin. The rest of them noticed this and looked at her curiously.

"Care to share with the class?" Asked Cragen, getting impatient with the whole situation. This was a squad room, not some gossip-filled office with a water cooler in the corner!

Julia didn't answer the question directly, she did, however, supply them with more information.

"Uncle John, why don't you tell the class. Though I'm sure one of you already knows." When she said one of you, she quickly winked at Olivia. For a few moments she fiddled with her pen in the stupidity coated silence, before having enough. "And you guys call yourself detectives?!" They all looked guilty. " Uncle Johnny," She began with a sickeningly sweet voice that made the back of Munch's neck prickle with fear and worry, "If you don't tell them, I will. Because I know I'm right." She paused, and said just as sweetly, "Then I might just tell them some of your other secrets,"

"Which other secrets?" Asked Munch slowly.

" Oh, you know, about that habit you had in college, and the tattoo that-

Munch quickly cut his niece off. " Alright, alright!" He took a deep breath. " This person and I have been dating for three months, so before you get judgmental or angry or, overly protective..." He looked pointedly at Elliot, who grumbled loudly, " Just get on with it already, Munch."

"Yeah, whose the hot lady whose got yo' skinny behind in a fluster?" Asked Fin, slapping Munch on the back. Munch' cheeks tinged as he coughed awkwardly and muttered, " Liv."

" Repeat that?"Questioned Julia proudly, not quite hearing him but knowing exactly what he said.

"I said Olivia, Okay!?" He blurted out. He then covered his face in his hands in a mix of anxiety and exhaustion, leaning heavily on his desk.

Olivia took this moment as her cue, clearing her throat quite loudly, " You can, uh, stop staring at him now. And at me." She added sheepishly. Cragen merely raised his eyebrows, while Julia looked pleased. Fin, meanwhile, was quite patiently waiting for "April fools!" to be shouted out by somebody. Elliot looked thoroughly disgusted. Olivia rolled her eyes at all of them, then said to Elliot, "Oh, grow up!. I see the goo goo eyes you make at a certain detective in this room." She paused, pleased with herself, " In fact, don't she and John share the same last name?" Elliot's and Julia's ears burned. They shared a look, that, had Munch been back in the land of the living, would have probably caused him to shoot Elliot before he could even blink. Not that he would anytime soon. He was to...distracted.

Olivia, now genuinely worried about her boyfriend, got up from her chair and shook Munch gently on the shoulder. " You still in there?" She teased. No response. "John, John!" Throwing her hands up, she ignored the interested stares of Cragen and Fin and bent down next to him, whispering in his ear seductively, " Sweetheart, you don't want me to use my...normal method of waking you up in front of the whole squad, now do you? Because I was thinking of saving that for later." Munch's head shot up. The other four didn't know what she had said to him, but they all came to the silent agreement that they didn't really care to find out. As a bunch of questions came firing towards him, Munch groaned.

"You've been dating my partner for three months!?"

"Way to go man!"

" She going to be my aunt anytime soon?"

"This better stay out of the office."

"Yes Elliot, jealous? And thanks Fin..I think. Don't rush it, Julia, I've had four other wives, and Cap, don't worry. You all through?" Munch said, answering all their questions using as few syllables as possible.

" One more question." Said Fin, turning towards Olivia. "How do we know your not helping him lie just to save his but?"

Olivia, who had just gotten off of a quick phone conversation, grinned evilly at Fin, then made sure everyone was watching before yanking Munch up by his tie and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss that was only meant to last a few seconds, but ended up lasting a couple of minutes. When they pulled apart, she grinned..

"Any more questions?"

Silence.

"Good. Now come on John, I just picked up a case down in Hell's Kitchen." Munch and Olivia walked happily out of the room, grabbed their coats and left, leaving a small group of very shell-shocked police officers behind.

When they got in the squad car, Olivia turned to Munch. "You know I'm going to force that secret out of you when we get home tonight, right?" Munch nodded somewhat glumly. Olivia smiled.

"I'm also going to spend a long time looking everywhere for that tattoo"

Munch shifted slightly in his seat, grinning.

She always knew the perfect way to cheer him up.

TBC