CHAPTER 4- The Best Laid Plans
There's a knock on the door about an hour after Blaine left. Kurt's terrified it's him again but is relieved when he looks through the peephole and sees Brody. "Hey, are you and Rachel studying tonight?" Kurt asks once he opens the door. Brody shakes his head and gives Kurt a small smile as he holds up Rachel's backpack. Kurt groans. "I swear, she'd forget her head if it wasn't attached to her shoulders."
"She's had a lot on her mind lately. I don't mind making the subway ride," he says, putting the backpack on the floor and taking off his jacket. "So, where is Pepa anyway?"
Kurt sighs, running a hand through his hair. The last thing he wants to do is talk about the events that occurred over an hour ago, but Kurt feels a small obligation to do so. Two months ago, Rachel puked in Cassandra July's class, which of course led to Cassandra making an unfortunately accurate guess to Rachel's ailment (though, in her defense, she was joking. At least Kurt hopes Cassandra isn't that cruel). Rachel, upset, confided in her only NYADA friend. Since then Brody has been making sure nobody got after her as well as keeping her going at school. This isn't the first time Rachel's forgotten something and Brody's brought it to the apartment; although Kurt suspected he sincerely doesn't mind doing it if means he gets to spend time with Rachel. Nonetheless, he's been there, and as a result, he's taken some of the pressure off Kurt's shoulders, so as far as the counter-tenor is concerned, he's golden. "Bedroom. Crying and sleeping on and off, I assume. One of our friends from Lima made an unexpected visit."
Brody tenses. "Finn?"
"Thankfully, no." Kurt actually can't believe how grateful he is that it was Blaine when you put in perspective. "Actually, it was my ex. A grand attempt to try and win me back. Seeing Rachel pregnant shocked him to say the least."
"I would think so." Brody responds. "You're not worried he's going to tell Finn?"
Kurt shakes his head. "Not really. I asked him not to, so he'll probably keep quiet. He did remind me that this is only a temporary solution if we decided to keep the baby." Kurt voice sounds flat when he says it, but in reality, his heart stretches and starts to tear into two different directions. One half breaking because keeping the baby would mean letting go of some of his dreams for good—Broadway, a summer in Paris, spending his college years experiencing, rather than planning. The other half breaks because if he gives up the baby, then there's so much of their life he'll be missing—the first steps, the first words, the first snappy comeback. For every time he tells himself it would be for the better if he and his child went their separate ways once it's born, another voice in his head chimes in disagreeing and makes the decision that much harder to make.
"Is that what you guys are planning on now? Just the other day, Rachel was asking me if Cliff was a cute name."
"Cliff? Like from Cabaret? Oh my god." Kurt shakes his head again. That was the other thing. It's becoming more and more apparent that Rachel isn't as torn as he is. Last week, while walking to the grocery store, Rachel pointed out a fabric she thought would make a cute onesie for the baby. A few weeks before that, Kurt found an Expecting Mother magazine lying on their coffee table. It's obvious that while Kurt is trying his best to distance himself from getting attached to the child growing inside of Rachel, she's getting entirely too close to wanting it beyond letting go. "We still haven't made a final decision, but we both know what Rachel wants."
Brody nods. "Yeah, I just don't think she realizes it yet." She knows, Kurt affirms in his head. She's just hoping Kurt will change her mind before she has to try to. "What do you think?"
Kurt doesn't pretend that question is about his well being. That's the only (only he repeats in his head) nice thing about Blaine coming was that he showed concern for Kurt. It doesn't matter how chummy Kurt and Brody are now, he's still her ally. If Rachel wants to raise the baby, then Brody will back her, and the last thing Kurt wants is to make a battle out of this. At least, not right now. "Honestly? I'm just trying to sort the mess right now. We only have a half a year and we haven't even told our parents yet."
"Half a year? That sounds like enough time," Brody says optimistically. Kurt snorts. How naïve of him to say; it's something he could see Rachel saying. Perhaps something he's afraid she'll say.
"It isn't."
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The hotel gym is fairly impressive. He shouldn't expect anything less from a five star hotel. It's the perfect place for him to get out that old familiar emotion of wanting to beat something up. At this rate, Blaine could care where is, or what he's hitting; he just needs to hit something.
There's something irrational about his anger. Well, that's not anything new, but this whole situation is extra weird. It's strange enough that Blaine finds his ex-boyfriend's gotten a girl pregnant, but the jealousy that rushes through him? It's unexplainable. It's not like they were in love or seeking revenge. If that were the case, Kurt would have at least picked a man. That being said, Blaine's skin crawled when Kurt hugged Rachel in that way. He absolutely wanted to sneer at the level of concern Kurt showed her when Rachel broke down in tears. He doesn't understand it. They weren't together, and Rachel and Kurt certainly weren't together. Yet the jealous rage rolls through him as Blaine lands a double to the bag before stepping back again.
The bag swings back and forth with amazing momentum. It occurs to Blaine that he's been striking the bag probably for over an hour now without rest. He's glistening with sweat; his hair's soaking like he's just taken a shower. His muscles are sore and his throat is achingly dry, but he just wants to keep hitting the bag.
Blaine makes himself sit down and sip at his water bottle. He kind of likes the anger in this very strange way. It's nice to feel something about his situation with Kurt other than sadness. In a way, their relationship feels a little healthier. Like it's closer to even ground.
But what relationship did they have now? Kurt told him he didn't want to fix the relationship, or rather he couldn't. The baby was Kurt's focus now, and Blaine knows if the roles were reversed, it'd be the same for him. Blaine just can't believe that Kurt would keep this from everyone. He didn't even give Blaine the decency of an explanation until he came to New York for it. It almost feels like the person he talked to this afternoon isn't the same person he fell in love with. The person he fell in love with would have never set their relationship aside so easily…
Except maybe he was. Isn't that how they got into this little situation? When Kurt left Blaine alone like he promised him he wouldn't. Blaine realizes his anger is coming from the same place his abandonment issues are. The fact that Kurt can just give up like this pisses Blaine off to no end. He needs Kurt in his life, and it hurts that Kurt doesn't feel the same way.
Blaine gets up and decides it's time to go back to his room. Along the way, he stops and delivers a large punch to the bag. It sways as Blaine walks away. Maybe Kurt's right. Maybe he did come here for no reason.
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Kurt goes out to get take-out food for dinner not long after Brody's arrive While they wait, Rachel and Brody settle on her bed and watch a DVD on her laptop. It doesn't take long for Rachel to lean her head on his shoulder.
Rachel's developed a comfortable relationship with Brody. She's thinks part of that is her being pregnant. Before, Brody was a romantic option, but now she has more time to think about what she wanted to be with him, and more importantly, to strengthen their friendship. It certainly helps that he's been very understanding about her being pregnant. Much more than Finn would probably be.
It's just complicated with Finn now. It was like that before Kurt got her pregnant. They weren't even friends anymore. The last time they talked, it ended in her and Finn deciding they couldn't even speak to each other without it erupting into some huge fight. That doesn't stop Rachel from missing Finn, of course. Naturally, she feels guilty that the first man she sleeps with besides Finn happens to be his stepbrother, but that's about where it ends. Finn's the one who made her worry for months. Finn's the one who ran when the going got tough. Finn isn't the one with her now. She's just worried about what it will do to Finn and Kurt's relationship when he finds out.
It's just too stressful to think about right now. Instead, she snuggles closer to Brody. He looks down and smiles. "So, can you feel the baby yet?" He asks. Rachel shakes her head against his shoulder.
"No, but it's still a little early. The doctor said I probably won't feel him move until about 16 weeks."
"It's a boy?" Brody sounds so adorably excited that Rachel can't help but laugh. She shakes her head again.
"I don't know. It's still too early. I kind of have a feeling it might be a boy," Rachel says as she rubs a hand over her stomach. "I've been craving pretzels and chips like crazy, and all the books I've read say when you crave salty foods, it means you're having a boy."
Brody chuckles. "How do you know that's not just pregnancy cravings? Last week I watched a self-proclaimed vegan eat a double-cheeseburger and chicken nuggets." Rachel gasps and playfully hits Brody on the shoulder. He leans away, but keeps smiling. "It's true!"
Rachel leans back against the pillows, hand going right back to her stomach. She wishes she could feel the baby. Over on her vanity, along with the multiple headshots she's taken over the years and the photos of her parents and friends, there are now ultrasound pictures of the little baby. There are times when she looks at her pregnant belly and she just cries. Mostly when she thinks of how much harder it will be to graduate NYADA or get a Broadway gig with a baby on her hip. Whenever she looks at the ultrasound photos, however, she can't help but be excited about the small life growing inside her. Sure, maybe in her previous dreams, she envisioned she'd be twenty-five with a few awards and married to Finn. She at least imagined it'd be Finn's baby she'd be carrying. She never imagined she and Kurt would be having a baby, but honestly, she doesn't care whom the baby's father is or that she's only 19. She wants to be a mother to her child. She just isn't sure if that's what's best for the baby yet.
Brody's support is a nice change of pace. Kurt's supportive in every way she could possible ask for, and she's been beyond grateful for the way he's taken care of her. In a strange way, though, he's thought of the baby with more dread than Rachel has. She feels guilty that Kurt isn't happy with what's occurring, but she also sees the glow in his features when he touches her stomach or sees the pictures. She just wishes he got excited more often instead of just sometimes. She wishes sometimes he were more like Brody. "We have a doctor's appointment next week. If you're not busy with Cassandra's class or anything, do you maybe want to go with us?"
Brody stares down at her stomach and smiles. He then looks up and answers. "Sure."
"Rachel, Brody, back with dinner," Kurt chimes from the doorway, holding up a bag of takeout food. "You should probably take your vitamins if you haven't taken them today."
Rachel blushes. Taking vitamins use to be a part of her daily life but with all the stress and worry going on, her memory hasn't been as great. Usually, Kurt is subtler but he's very obviously annoyed, likely about Rachel asking Brody to come with them to her doctor's appointment. She shuts off her laptop and climbs out of bed with Brody following behind. When they entered the main room, Kurt sets the food on the coffee table, but catches Rachel's elbow before she can sit down. "Come on, baby needs the vitamins!" he singsongs. He's gentle but quick as he pulls her to the kitchen. He lets her go as soon as they're in the kitchen. Then he turns to her and growls. "Have you lost your mind?! Why are you inviting your Romeo of the moment to our doctor's appointment?!"
Rachel rubs her elbow and glares at her baby's daddy. Kurt had enough self-control not to hurt her, but she didn't appreciate the gesture at all. "It's my doctor's appointment and I can invite whoever I want."
"No, Rachel it's our appointment. You provided the egg; I provided the seed. Therefore, this child is half mine; and it's not like it's a concert or a Broadway musical, you know. We don't need an audience there to see the bun bake." He says, gesturing down to her stomach. Rachel huffs and crosses her arms over her chest. She might have gone a little far there; Kurt is entitled to his opinion regarding their check-ups. She just didn't see what was so bad about getting a little extra support.
"It's not a big deal. Not everything has to be all gloom and poor me. It's okay to want to share news about the baby, instead of hiding it all the time. If Brody already knows, why can't I ask him to be there for us?"
"Because in case you forgot, we are still hiding it! Only it won't be long until everyone knows at this rate." Kurt groans and rubs a hand over his face. Rachel closes in a bit more on herself. The true frustration is finally out now. Blaine is just the first of soon to be many instances. How long before Burt or Leroy and Hiram come to check-up on them? How long before Finn comes? Rachel places a hand on his shoulder to try and ease his worry, but it's no use. "Rachel, we have no clue what we're doing. Blaine surprising us was proof of that. We need to get control of this. Now."
Rachel bit her lip. Despite all her talk, she doesn't think she's ready to see the look of disappointment on her fathers' faces yet, nor can she bear the anger Finn will surely feel. "How?"
Kurt reaches up in the cabinet and gets out Rachel's prenatal vitamins. He gets out the ones she needs and hands them to her. Rachel smiles. No matter how many times they fight or where they stand on their decisions, she knows she can count on Kurt to take care of her. She accepts them and accepts the glass of water Kurt fetches for her. "We have two options…"
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Blaine gets a text later that night from Rachel. He's a little surprised, but probably not as much as he should be. He's sure she's texting to make sure he'll keep quiet about everything. The full surprise hits him when he sees the text.
Rachel: Are you going to be in New York for a few days?
Blaine: For another day or so. Was planning on staying the weekend. Why?
Rachel: You've seen the state of our apartment; we don't really have the extra room for people right now. Would you mind sharing your hotel room with someone?
Blaine raises an eyebrow. He's not really obligated, or welcomed; to help, Kurt's made that very clear. He feels like accepting Rachel's request is a little like betraying him. On the other hand, Blaine wonders if maybe Kurt's letting Rachel ask him for help.
That thought hives him hope, and Rachel her response.
Blaine: I don't think that will be a problem. When?
Rachel: Tomorrow afternoon.
Blaine: Okay. Who?
Rachel texts him back a few minutes later, and he's a little bit confused. It hits him in waves that maybe this person makes more sense than anyone in the world. Really, who better to help two teen soon-to-be parents than a teen mom herself?
Rachel: Quinn.
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And like I've been promising for so long, I've finally finished chapter 4! Sorry if it seems kind of slow. More exciting things to come, I promise. In the mean time, a big thank you to my amazing beta, irishflute, for betaing this chapter. She rocks! Also, a thank you to all you reviewers, followers, and people who alert and/or favorited this story! Love you all :)
Another reminder, I'll be answering guest reviews in order of when they reviewed (from first to last).
cherry2- Aw! Thank you sweetie! I have to admit, I haven't seen a lot of Rachel and Kurt baby stories, outside of Rachel being a surrogate naturally, but then again, I don't know how many situations would allow for it to happen. It's certainly a fun concept, if angsty in this situation, to write. You'll have to see about the gender ;) Thank you for reviewing!
AllyKlaine- I would totally love if something like this happened in cannon! Although that would be rather soap operaish in style, then again, I do love the soap opera style. Kurt will get to warm up to Blaine again, I think a lot of his anger I wrote last chapter comes from how stressed he is taking care of Rachel and his baby. Blaine's going to get his chance back into Kurt's good graces. Aw, thank you very much :) I mean really, that's what it came down to in my opinion. Blaine isn't a cheater by nature, but this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and just the idea of being rejected by Kurt drove him to a breaking point. Not to excuse what he did, but I think anyone can empathize with feeling so alone, you'll do anything to find acceptance. Thank you for your generous reviews :)
Guest 1- Exactly what I wanted the reader to see :) Blaine, at this point, is the first person to really ask and show concern for Kurt, so I think it's beginning moment for the both of them in this fic. It's also a beginning point so maybe Kurt can see he doesn't have to take care of Blaine, but I don't want to give too much away. I think I did make Kurt a little harsh in the chapter, but I think it comes mostly from being stressed about taking care of the baby and Rachel. Finn's still a few chapters or so out, but hopefully not too far away. Hope this chapter answered your questions about Brody. Thank you for reviewing!
Guest 2- Me too! I'm kind of a sucker for DaddyKlaine :) Thank you for reviewing!
Guest 3- I love writing scenes where Kurt stands up for himself. He's just such a powerhouse it's hard not to get excited. Thanks for the review!
