Disclaimer: Everything Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I just want to take this time to thank everyone for their reviews, views and following of this story. It means a lot to me, really it does. In life, we are presented with situations that we have not thought about before. The way in which we react to this stimuli, heavily influences the outcome. Please enjoy and review..
Chapter 4
"Ok, enough! I am getting you out of here tonight! We are going to UnderGround!" Alice proclaimed as she patted her shoulder.
She sighed ruefully trying to show her discomfort with the idea. She was not sure she wanted to go, knowing he would be there. A feeling like stage fright churned in her stomach. Bella knew, if she were to meet him there, she would not last long with this found independence, something she was just starting to enjoy.
"Alice, I am not sure I am ready to go there yet. I mean, what if Emmett shows up there? What if he is playing someone? I don't want to have to deal with him in a public place like that. You know how he can be when he is not getting his way." Alice's pixie like features took on a pondering air as a slowness overcame her controlled reply.
"You know... He has not been there in a while, I mean after you guys called it quits. What if I found out where he is going to be tonight and we can go and watch, maybe participate in some of the scenes going on. It is a Friday night after all and you know the service tops are going there." She knew Alice was just trying to make her feel better and give her some hope at happiness.
"Okay, if you can find out where he is going to be tonight, I will consider going," she replied feeling the muscles tighten around her eyes. She watched as Alice all but bounced out of her seat,
"Oh this is going to be great! I have the perfect outfit. Not to get him cleared away for..." Alice's voice was becoming white noise, filled with her excitement.
Ding! - The sound of the email notification, drew her attention back to the computer. Before opening the email, she took a deep breath calming her nerves. It's just an email, center your thoughts.
Dear B,
So, seeing how shy you seem to be, I want you to tell me who or what has gotten you to seek this type of agreement?
E
Now, having to think about Emmett helped to foster these emotions that she was still having to try to understand. She decided that it was best to be as honest as possible about it all. He didn't really know much about her as she didn't know much about him. The feeling that it would be best to keep it as nondescript as possible. She hoped that she didn't come across as aloof as possible but still keep up her show of interest.
Good Afternoon E,
I gained my interest in the lifestyle in a kind of non-traditional way and I have tried to, through tears of embarrassment, except myself. It was through a ex-boyfriend who , how can I say, had particular needs that gave me pleasure to learn and do. He introduced me to a few things that I read about and more. It was good for me but over time he took things to places that were not so pleasant. Since the end of this relationship, the craving was always right under the surface. I have tried to contain myself but it has got more difficult. It is like wearing a cast on your ankle and having an itch across your foot but you just cant reach it.
With regards to women before you ask, I guess I would say that I am heteroflexible. It has brought very interesting dynamics to my previous relationships where my dominant side shows most towards women. It was fun for the men in my life but my sadistic yearnings sometimes show mostly to people who come across as very submissive. Maybe it is doing to them what I crave personally.
I don't know, I might just be confused.
~B~
send
There she said it. It was the truth and she had let it out but why was she suddenly anxious. She didn't realize how hard she was chewing on her bottom lip until she tasted the blood. Shit!
"Bella! What the hell have you done to your mouth!, Alice shrieked!
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it did that I was doing that."
"If you think, this is going to get you out of going with me tonight, you've got to..."
DING!, saved by the bell again! I am starting to think that this man is as cool as hell!
Good Afternoon B,
What you are feeling isn't uncommon. Many of the women who have come to me for training/sessions wanting to learn more so that they can be better tops (mostly for women) even if it is only to be a service top.
These men that have been in your life, from these communications... I was wondering if they had enjoyed the opportunities that you bringing in women could have given them if completely accepting and exploring you.
It sounds like they didn't have a true dominant streak or they would certainly have taken full ownership of you and would have pushed your limits to help foster growth within you. I have a feeling your first session with me will tell you a lot about what you really want.
My guess is that you will thoroughly enjoy submitting by the expressed needs that grows and continue to grow within you. I would humbled to help you in this.
E
*blush*
A/N: Any questions?
Vocabulary time! (^_^)
Service Top: Within a BDSM context, a Service Top is a partner who is the active participant, applying the activities or techniques of BDSM "play" upon (a) bottom partner(s), but who does not dominate the bottom, and instead acts upon the wishes and desires of the bottom
