Chapter Four

Better Parents

"You knew?" Kurapika erupts.

"You made yourself very obvious." Chrollo waves a hand, dismissing Kurapika. His voice comes out atypically harsh. "Go."

Kurapika does, but he makes sure to leave the list of names with the Spider. That thing can ruminate on those he's killed a little longer.

"I'm not," he mutters to himself. "I'm not like him. I'm not!"

"You seem upset, lad," says a gruff voice behind Kurapika.

"Hmm?" Kurapika spins around, ready to throw this interloper into the sea.

He stills. Does this make him like Chrollo? Because he wanted to rob the life of someone he didn't know?

A man in a captain's uniform stands behind him. His eyes look almost fatherly.

Kurapika's face pinches up. "I'm fine."

"That's the universal declaration that you're not fine," jokes the old, bearded man. "You're one of Queen Oito's guards, aren't you?"

"I am. What's it to you?" Kurapika is ready. His mind is already forming his chains.

The captain lifts his hands. "Nothing. I'm the captain, not an assassin."

"Why aren't you steering, then?" Kurapika sneers.

"Captains are allowed to eat. And take breaks. Humans can't work all the time, or they spend all their life and die early." The captain grins, a cheeky grin younger than the years on his lined face. "And you? A guard, also an assassin, perhaps?"

"I'm a guard, not an assassin," Kurapika snaps. He pauses, remembering how he picked off Uvogin, then Chrollo. "I think."

"Hence your distress? And here I thought it was a lover's quarrel," chuckles the old man.

"That bastard in there is my enemy and a wicked man, not my lover." Kurapika's face burns.

"Well, aren't we all the wicked. And perhaps, the enemy." The captain shrugs. "There's a club to which we all belong."

"I don't love wicked people." And it's true, because Kurapika doesn't love himself. He won't ever forgive the Troupe for killing his family, and he will never forgive himself for surviving.

"Where would the world be without wicked hearts?" asks the captain, leaning back. "Do you think I am wicked?"

"I don't know you well enough," Kurapika says slowly.

The captain nods. "Here I am, allowing slaughter for a throne on my ship. Allowing outlaws and noble hunters to chase a continent that will more likely than not devour us all, rather than yield riches and diamonds. Yet you've no choice but to trust me."

"What's your point?" Kurapika hunches his shoulders.

"Perhaps embracing the wicked is different than embracing wickedness. Perhaps the true wicked are those who don't." The captain steps backwards. "I don't know. The point is whatever you make it. A spade is never a spade unless you make it so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have tea to sip, and I'm through wasting it on people like you."

Kurapika's mouth falls open, but he allows the captain to pass without another word.


"There, there, kid." Leorio tries not to drop the prince while Melody guards the hallway. Of all the patients he'll lose, he'd rather a baby not be among them.

"Kurapika?" A tall, slender woman enters the room and skids to a halt. Her delicate face is framed by dark curls, and she wears a simple but richly purple gown. "Who are you?!"

"We're Kurapika's friends," says Alluka.

Queen Oito relaxes just a smidge at the sight of another child. "Where is he?"

"He had some business to attend." Leorio sticks out his hand. "I'm Leorio Paladiknight, pro-Hunter and medial student."

"Queen Oito Hui Guo Rou." Oito narrows her eyes, but begrudgingly shakes Leorio's hand. "If Woble likes you, I imagine you're okay…but what business, may I ask?"

"We can't tell," says Alluka. "But I can tell you that my name is Alluka. And that it's funny I can't see Woble's spirit unless I'm Nanika." Her eyes turn jet black.

Oito tries not to scream. "You…you see Woble's guardian?"

"Mmm!" Nanika waves towards the ceiling and giggles. "She looks like a puppy. Kinda like Mike. He's Alluka's family dog."

Oito sighs. She hopes that someday Woble will enjoy life like this Alluka. "Well, that settles it, doesn't it? Tell me more about yourselves."


Kalluto scampers one deck above Illumi. He reaches the stairs just ahead of his brother and dips his head over the railing, directly in Illumi's face. "Boo."

"Have you come to your senses?" Illumi waits, as if he's been expecting this.

Well, he's in for a surprise, Kalluto thinks with a smirk.

And then Illumi senses it. A familiar, frightening in the feelings it conjures, nen. Directly behind him. His already round eyes bulge out of his head.

"Illumi," Killua croaks.

Illumi spins around, ever graceful. As if Kalluto is trash.

"Kil." He draws himself up.

"I don't much like doing that anymore." Killua attempts to joke.

Disappointment flashes over Illumi's face. Or is it shame? "You came."

"I emailed him," Kalluto says, running to Killua's side.

"You – why?" Illumi steps closer, as if he wants to embrace Killua, but Zoldycks don't embrace.

"Can we talk in private?" Killua squeaks.

"Of course. Come to my room." Illumi beckons for both his brothers to follow him. If Kalluto weren't certain Illumi were dead inside, he'd have thought his brother shook a little.

"Well, Kil? Why are you here?" Illumi tries to hold his excitement back as he closes himself, Kalluto, and Killua inside his cabin. Zoldycks don't give away their emotions, after all.

But Killua sought Illumi out. It's all he's ever wanted.

Illumi sits on his bed. His expression almost resembles that of a puppy. "Kil?"

Killua would like to ask Illumi to stop calling him that, but perhaps now is not the time. "I heard you're engaged."

"For now. It will end soon when I kill Hisoka. And that way Mother won't be disappointed in my choice." Illumi speaks as though he's discussing clothing rather than his fiancé. "You're not offended I didn't tell you, are you?"

"I'm offended you're engaged to Hisoka. I'm offended that you want to mock something like family enough to kill your fiancé." Killua shakes his head. "I could almost handle Hisoka if you weren't planning on killing him."

"Hisoka and I could not reproduce." Illumi shrugs.

"Is that it?" Killua crosses his arms. "There's adoption. And God knows, plenty of orphans."

"They wouldn't have the Zoldyck blood." Illumi sounds scandalized. "Really, you should know better. Killua, do you want me to marry Hisoka?"

"We'd rather you marry him than kill him," Kalluto says loudly.

Illumi blinks. He leans forward to rest his chin on his fingers. "Oh dear, dear, this is not good."

"Do you like him? Is Hisoka…is he your friend, Illumi?" Killua pushes aside his distaste for Hisoka and forces himself to step closer to his brother.

"An assassin doesn't have friends. Just family," Illumi recites.

"Then do you consider him family?" Kalluto inches closer to Killua. Look at me, dammit.

"He's not a Zoldyck," Illumi says.

"Oh, come off it! I know you care about him, somewhere deep in here!" Killua digs his claw into Illumi's chest, just enough to break the skin.

"Kil! I'm so proud you can still do that," Illumi says. His face alights.

"Okay, he's hopeless," Kalluto pronounces.

"Illu," says Killua, referencing the name he used to call his brother when his parents weren't around, "I don't want to lose my future brother-in-law."

"He's not family."

"Yes, you've said that already," Killua says dryly. An idea begins to emerge in his brain, and he winks at Kalluto. "Look, I came all the way to be with my engaged brother. Don't rob me of that."

Killua gestures for Kalluto to leave. He swallows his desire to flee and never lay eyes on the misfortune called Illumi again, rinsing it down with the desire not to see his brother regret killing a friend. "We have a lot of catching up to do."


Chrollo finishes the list of names before he makes his way over to the note Kurapika left under his door.

It just feels right to finish the names. Some of them are floral, some short and sharp, but most sound like musical notes that roll off the tongue. Like Kurapika.

He wonders if that was on purpose, though now he'll never know. But for a moment, he does allow himself to wonder.

Then he's back to business. Chrollo picks up the paper on the floor to realize, with a jolt of surprise, that it's no note from Kurapika.

It's a Joker card.

Cursing to himself, Chrollo storms back to Deck 4. It shouldn't be too difficult to find the Queen's headquarters – guards, even when in disguise, are very obvious.


"Feitan!" Kalluto zooms over to his mentor, of sorts, who sits on the rail staring at the sea. If anyone else occupied such a precarious position, he would worry, but this is Feitan. The sun dips over the horizon, casting everything in a light as golden as Hisoka's eyes.

With a quick glance hither and thither, to make sure no other Troupe members prowl about, Feitan pats the seat besides him. "What's the matter?"

"What isn't?" Kalluto bursts out. "My brother is gay, my other brother is trying to convince him to stay gay, and my other brother is actually my sister. Oh, and Milluki. Let's add him to this mix. He's probably spying on us through cameras. I'm sure he's hacked in by now."

Feitan tries to process what he just heard. "I did not sign up for this shit."

"Neither did I. I didn't ask to be born!" Kalluto growls. He thought he wanted Killua here, but he really doesn't. He hates how Illumi favors him. And he hates that Killua has a plan and hasn't told Kalluto yet!

"Whoa." Feitan jabs a finger at Kalluto. "You are born. Be glad."

He sends Machi an emergency text. Code Black. Bow Deck. Now.

"Are you glad I'm born?" Kalluto tries not to appear as desperate as he feels.

"You know I glad," Feitan admits begrudgingly.

Kalluto relaxes slightly. Despite himself, Feitan inches closer to make sure he'll be able to catch the kid if he falls.

"Which brother is a sister?" Feitan waits.

"Alluka. She's transgender, apparently. No one even bothered to tell me!" Kalluto spits into the water.

"The demon brother?" Feitan's eyes alight.

"Alluka is now my sister. Sister. And I don't know what to do." Kalluto pouts.

"Why problem?" Feitan seems confused. Machi, where are you?

"If what I've heard is correct, you're upset because you're scared your parents knew Alluka was a girl and hurt her accordingly." Machi announces her presence with another no-nonsense deduction. And ice cream.

"You get fat," Feitan complains.

"Not without you." She shoves ice cream at both of them.

Feitan scowls, but doesn't hesitate to shovel the treat into his mouth.

"If you fall into the sea, I'm not fishing you out. You either, Kalluto." Machi points at him.

"I don't like my family," Kalluto admits.

"I don't either," Feitan says. If family is what Kalluto's relatives do, families can all die.

"I don't like Illumi," Kalluto adds.

"I suspected as much," says Machi, patting Kalluto's shoulder.

"He help kill Hisoka," Feitan says, puzzled.

"They're engaged. I don't want him here and I don't want him to kill his fiancé," Kalluto says.

"You think he won't?" Feitan looks enraged.

"Knowing how they were raised?" Machi purses her lips. "Oh, Illumi will do it. There's no doubt."

Feitan settles back. "Then what problem?"

"It's not normal to be so unemotional, and Kalluto knows this," Machi says.

"I am normal!" Feitan glares at her.

"Yeah, sure." Machi rolls her eyes. "This is why he needs me too, Feitan."

"Shut up, Machi."

Kalluto wants to scream that he's invited Killua and Alluka here, and Chrollo knows, and they want to find Hisoka first. But then will they think he's a traitor?

Machi and Feitan are the closest things to parents he's found in the Troupe. Feitan lets him ride on his shoulders, and Phinks says it makes them look almost like a full-sized person. And Machi gives him back rubs and treats.

"You'll get through this, kid." Machi elbows Kalluto and because she's not sure what else to say, digs her fingers into Feitan's neck.

Kalluto grins and helps her drag Feitan back onto solid ground, tickling the tiny man all the way.

"I shall kill you both," Feitan spits as he's crumpled to a ball. Because his one weakness is tickling, and only Kalluto and Machi and Chrollo know.

"You'll have to catch me first," Kalluto says, sauntering away.

"You realize we're practically his parents at this point, Feitan," Machi whispers, watching the Zoldyck child dance away.

"We're better parents," Feitan says firmly.


"My friend is bodyguard to the queen. It's urgent," Chrollo says smoothly.

Melody clears her throat, but allows another guard to fetch Kurapika.

After a few minutes, Kurapika hurries to the door. He promptly chokes at the sight of Chrollo.

"Hello, friend," Chrollo says.

Kurapika slides outside, taking care to close the door behind him, but not before Chrollo sees the opulence within.

Kurapika wants to tell this spider to perform an anatomically impossible move on himself, but he settles for a brisk, "I see you've put a shirt on. What do you want?"

Chrollo dangles the Joker card in Kurapika's face. "This arrived not ten minutes after you left. I assumed it was from you."

"Do I look like the sort to joke around?" Kurapika shakes his head. "That certainly wasn't me."

Chrollo grinds his teeth as he slips the card back into his pocket. Because he does believe Kurapika. And they both know who would leave such a card. "Was anyone else around? Did you notice anyone?"

"The captain of the ship? An old lady? A crying young man regretting his life choices?" Kurapika nibbles his lip. "There were several."

"Would you be able to recognize the lady or young man?" Chrollo presses.

"If I say no, am I breaking part of our deal?"

"So the answer is yes." Chrollo needs to find him. Find the clown before he kills another of his Troupe. He can end this tonight, and he is ready.

Kurapika despises the passion in Chrollo's eyes. He despises any moment of sincerity, of truth, from this man.

Still…considering the captain's words, Kurapika opens his mouth to acquiesce.

The door opens behind Kurapika. "Killua, is that you?"

Alluka peers out. "Oh! Mr. Chrollo. Hi!"

Chrollo tries not to be too excited at the sight of the possessed child. "Hello."

"What's going on?" A woman Chrollo recognizes as Queen Oito pushes the door open further. Behind her is Leorio, and in his arms, a baby who must be Woble.

"You're not the only group having murder contests aboard. This man is a danger," says Kurapika.

Oito looks properly appalled. She sucks in her breath. "Do you need a place to stay, then, sir?"

"He's probably the most dangerous of any of them," Kurapika pipes up.

"But not to us," Oito suggests. She seems a practical woman, the kind Chrollo sees as powerful allies and formidable enemies.

"Kurapika, we had a deal," Leorio adds grimly.

"And anyways – I – I couldn't help Momoze, but I can help him, and I will." Oito purses her lips. "Come inside. We're about to have dinner."

Chrollo can't resist giving Kurapika his most charming smile.

The Kurta's eyes turn scarlet. He hisses in Chrollo's ear. "Behave yourself or I'll slaughter you."

Chrollo bats his eyes at Kurapika. He can't help himself. "Who, me?"