Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy or any other game, reference, etc. I shove in here. I only own the characters and other stuff I make up!
Ch. 4 What is reality?
I woke up feeling heavy and there was pain shooting through my arm. I was on the floor and it was very cold. It took time for my eyes to adjust. I was not in the lab and I was wearing a hospital-like gown, which meant nothing else. The pain in my arm came from a mark that I assumed was for identification. 02A. It burned into my skin and touching it was not a good idea. I slowly sat up and looked around realizing quickly that I was not alone here.
He sat across from me shivering slightly as he held his legs with his head down, his long silver hair draped around him. Is that who I think? He also had a mark on his arm. 01A. From what I can tell he seems pretty young, like me. We sit in silence for a long time. He never looks up, but I have a feeling he can see me through his hair. I look around and absentmindedly hum a song. There were cages around us filled with monsters. All of them looked afraid and defeated. I felt a little sorry for them…and us. We all have the same problem…Hojo.
After a while, my mind wandered off. I kept wondering what Hojo was going to do with me. What is everyone at home doing? Wonder if they think I'm dead. I suddenly felt eyes on me. I stopped humming and looked right at him. He was watching me. It was an odd feeling. His eyes looked like they could pierce steel and I had no idea what he was thinking. He looked up at something behind me and then put his head back down. I looked, but nothing was there. I wonder what he saw. I was still thinking about his eyes. There was something there that I could not identify. Well, now I'm sure it's him.
The next day Hojo came to see us. His face lit up and an evil grin was stuck on his face as he examined both of us. Neither of us looked at him. Sephiroth was perfectly still and he was still sitting in the same position. We both flinched as Hojo started laughing. I guess you never get used to hearing that. I only glanced up at him and in that moment, he opened the door telling us to follow him. Sephiroth got up first and stopped at the door looking back at me.
What a cold and sad stare. I slowly get up and follow behind him. It is extremely cold in the lab and all I can do is shiver as they once again remove my clothing. I sigh angrily and hear a small laugh beside me. Did he just laugh? I only glanced at him and saw that they were doing the same with him. I quickly looked away trying to figure out what was about to happen as they forced me onto a table.
Hojo did all kinds of tests on us both. He checked everything giving us a full examination. Reflexes, strength (which I have little of), hearing, eyesight, etc. It took forever. He looked over the results and frowned meaning he is not impressed. His expression changed rather quickly though. "Curious..." He started mumbling and picked up a needle. He came over to me and took my arm above my elbow, squeezed hard and I am guessing was hoping to get a blood sample. Just seeing the needle made me scared and I ended up slapping the needle out of his hand. He looked a little surprised, but that changed to annoyance as he let go.
He sighed and motioning for an aid to come and help him. They strapped me down to the table. I struggle, but it is no use. Sephiroth is lying on another table beside me watching as they deal with me. I noticed he is not strapped down, which tells me he had probably done this too many times. I cry a little trying to hold it back some, but I look away and close my eyes as Hojo returns with another needle and takes the sample. It's almost over. I repeated to myself. I felt the straps loosen and open my eyes. Sephiroth is sitting up and I do the same wiping my eyes. The aid closest hands me a handkerchief and I take it.
"The more you struggle, the more it will hurt." He said quietly. He actually spoke to me. I wipe my face and sniffle a little. I just sit there shivering and say nothing. I know that he is probably right, but at the same time I could not help it. I have always had that reaction around needles. Hojo returns with two needles full of some strange liquid. He injects Sephiroth first. His reaction to it seemed pretty minimal, which gave me hope that it would not be so bad. An aid grabbed me and Hojo was quick to react. I yelped in surprise. It hurt, but almost instantly I was out.
"Lilia! Wake up!" The voice sounded familiar. Sarah? I felt something heavy on top of me as a man laughed. What's going on? I open my eyes and a very familiar scene is before me. I gasp wondering if this is real or a dream. I see the knife and fight like before. We roll off the bed and before I know it the knife is in my chest. I let out a scream as he starts moving the knife.
Sarah is screaming in the background and no one else appears to be there. I cry and scream until no sound will come out. He smiles and I can barely make out what is happening as my vision fades. "Stop it!" Sarah yells over and over. Her voice gets further and further away fading into nothing.
-What's going on?!-
-We saved you from that fate-
-What?-
I awoke coughing up blood. I sat up and looked down at my chest. There was blood all over me. I sat there shocked. What kind of dream was that? Someone screamed and opened the door to our 'cell' as I have dubbed it. She is carrying two trays of food but she drops them and runs over to me. "What happened? Where is all this blood coming from?" She makes me stand up and takes me up to the lab. She does not even notice that Sephiroth has followed her. "Hojo!" She calls out the moment we are in the lab.
He is sitting behind a stack of papers. He peers around them looking annoyed, but his expression changes quickly once he sees us. "What the hell happened to her?" He looks at her and she just shakes her head stammering for the words. He gives her a frown and looks at me as if expecting me to answer him. I have no idea…as if I'd tell you! Sephiroth says nothing. "Leave." Hojo says it quietly, but menacing enough to make her run out the door. Sephiroth moves forward to help me stand without being told to. Guess he knows what Hojo wants better than anyone does. "What happened, boy?" He asked him as they dragged me over to the little shower area.
"Nothing." He replies. Hojo seems unconvinced, but turns on the water and motions for him to help me. Before I knew it he was removing the bloody gown and pushing me into the water. Hojo gasped once the blood started washing away.
"There are no wounds. The blood is coming from nothing. That's not possible!" He looks intrigued by this. His excitement worried me. Having Sephiroth there seemed to help me feel better and once I was on the table he sedated me to run more tests.
I wake up and we are back in our cell. I examine myself and find that everything is intact and that there is no more blood. I have new clothes now too. Sephiroth is sitting beside me in the same position as always. His head is turned slightly so he can see me. The woman, from before, returns bringing yet another set of trays for us. She looks nervous, but seems relieved to see me. "Oh! You look much better! Here I brought your food. I'm Sheila by the way. I'll be taking care of meals and other personal needs." She said smiling as she sat the food down in front of us. "Don't worry. I made it myself." She winks at us and waits outside for us to finish.
"Wow. It's good. Maybe I'm just hungry though..." It was good. Sephiroth seemed a little hesitant to eat, but after I started so did he. He seemed to like it and finished his first. Sheila seemed happy that we finished it all and told us to let her know if we needed anything. The moment she left the monsters started making all kinds of noise. I think maybe they were hungry and had smelled the food. Maybe they thought they might get some while she was here? Whatever the reason it was annoying! "Ugh! So loud!" I said covering my ears. I sat there for a few minutes groaning. One of them had started it and now all of them were making noises.
"That's enough." They immediately become silent at the sound of his voice. They must be afraid of him. He sat there in the same position as before. I just looked at him not really sure what to say or do. That was nice…I think.
"Lilia." A dark figure stood before me. A man, but who is it? How does he know my name? "This isn't the first time we've met." He laughed and then sighed as he kneeled down beside me. I am lying on what I presume to be the floor and everything is white. No sound exists here except for our breathing.
"You don't remember?" I shake my head. How would I? I can't see what you look like. "You were very small then...I'm not surprised." From nowhere a flood of voices rushed in. It was as if someone had just opened the door to a store and everyone was coming in to get the latest gadget or toy.
"It looks like we don't have time to talk. You can't stay here too long." He disappears and thousands of lights glowing green take his place. I close my eyes and open them to see things have changed. No more white just black with green lights everywhere. What is this place?
I wake up and it seems fairly early in the day. No one has come in to wake us, but Sephiroth is already awake. He is staring at the door looking a little frustrated. Are they running late today? If that were true then I was actually glad. It might mean less time in the lab. Sephiroth looked a little antsy. I suppose he likes getting out of here no matter the reason.
About an hour later Hojo arrived, but he was not alone. I recognized Scarlet and the two Turks that were with them as the same ones in Corel. A few of them looked like military officials, and then there was President Shinra himself. I realized all of the executives were there and they were probably giving a tour of some kind that involved us. I still was not sure exactly what my role would be, though I did have some ideas. Sephiroth seemed to be completely ignoring them. He was hiding his face from then and though it was barely noticeable he was shaking slightly.
Hojo stood in front of us giving some sort of spiel to them that I only half listened to. Most of it was giving them a gloss covered view of what he was doing with us, but with me he offered little explanation at all. It sounded like he was not ready to say too much about it. I guess that means he is not sure it will work. So then the probability of failure is still high. That sounds bad…. I was thinking. The president had a few questions and I heard a few of them ask various things and Hojo answered them all. He did not seem happy about a few of them, but he was doing his best to keep himself calm. I could only tell because he was clenching his fists behind his back to hide it. I was a little relieved when he asked if they were ready to head upstairs for a more "in-depth" discussion.
Someone tapped on the glass. I looked up and it was Scarlet. She gave me a small wave with just her fingers and had a falsely sweet smile. I just glared at her and then stuck out my tongue. She gave me an annoyed look and turned on her heel prancing away after Hojo and the others. "Idiots." I could feel him staring at me again. I looked at him, but his head was still down. I just frowned and did the same. I guessed that Hojo would come back once they left and he did. He took us to the lab and seemed to be working with new fervor.
I guess the strange thing that happened and the test results from my blood would have something to do with it. Perhaps that whole thing earlier with the executives also contributed. He hooked me up to many machines and was very happy with what he was seeing. He kept laughing at the results. What the hell is so funny? He almost skipped over to Sephiroth acting as if it were Christmas. Sephiroth did not like his attitude at all never looking him in the eye and almost pushed him off in pure annoyance. None of it seemed to hamper his mood.
"This is just wonderful!" After a few scans of various things Hojo looked them over carefully and the smile he had never left him. Whatever he was looking at seemed to make him more excited. "Interesting. The enhancements seem to be working nicely. Perhaps this won't fail after all. She looks normal enough, but these results definitely show that she is very differnet." What he meant by all of that escaped me. Whatever he was saying and thinking I was only getting part of it. Sephiroth was looking at both of us curiously. Did he hear what Hojo said about me? Is his hearing that good?
Several hours passed before we were returned downstairs to the chamber. Sephiroth actually looked somewhat relieved. I felt the same. Hojo's odd behavior actually made me feel stressed out. Hojo seemed to have the most energy out of all of us. I sleep without dreaming, and I'm actually glad for that as lately my dreams have been rather strange.
We wake up early again and Hojo comes in at the usual time. Everything goes about the same as before. Hojo is just as enthusiastic as before making both more uncomfortable than we already are. Sephiroth was frowning a lot. Hojo had apparently learned his lessons with me and strapped me down for everything if he could. I fought him on almost everything not wanting to make things too easy for him. Sephiroth seemed rather entertained by it. I caught him several times laughing, but it was always short and sometimes made me wonder if I heard it at all. Throughout all of it he simply complied with everything. It made me wonder why. It seemed to me that he should be able to do something with his strength, but he never tried.
Finished for the day we return to our "cell". With nothing to do my mind wanders and I find myself wondering what Sephiroth does while we are stuck in here. He almost never moves, and has only spoken to me once. A few hours later Sheila arrives with our food. It looks about the same as before telling me the food she makes will all be like this. Bad visual with good taste.
"This is good for you so eat up." She says with a smile. "Now, tomorrow I'll come early to get you. The lab is getting an upgrade so it will be unusable, but this area should be done when we get back." I was actually happy about it and apparently it showed. "Looking forward to it, are you?" I just gave her a look and she laughed. She waited for us to finish and then left us.
"I wonder what kind of upgrade she means." I said wondering as I settled in to sleep. Sephiroth remained silent and we both fell asleep.
Sheila returns very early and shakes me awake telling me to hurry. After a few tries she gets me on my feet and we are taken down a few floors and to what appears to be a cafeteria. She explains that there are actually two. One for the staff and another for those in military. The staff gets better food. It's around five a.m. and the breakfast selection is similar to something I'm used to seeing. Eggs, toast, something that looks like ham. It all smells good and we get to pick whatever we want. I fill up a plate followed by Sephiroth and Sheila is in front. She pays and leads us to an empty table that is obscured by plants. Sephiroth and I eat silently, but Sheila talks in between bites.
"I can't say things will be eventful today. I have a lot of work to do in my office so we'll be there most of the day." She was telling us. I had not noticed before, but the Turks were here keeping an eye on us. I guess that is something I should have expected. It was the smart thing to do while we were freely walking around the building. Although, the term "freely" does not exactly apply.
Once we are done eating she decides to tell us a little about Midgar. I found it rather informative, but Sephiroth does not look particularly interested. He must have heard all of this before. "What? Are you getting bored?" She says seeing his face. He does not speak or move. She takes that as a yes and we leave. "Honestly there isn't much we can do. I have work to do so both of you will just end up sitting in my office with me until we can take you back." She gives us a thoughtful look and then escorts us there.
Her office is barely big enough to fit all three of us. There are shelves of books and stacks of paper lining the walls. There is a small desk and chair almost thrown into one corner and a small armchair across from that. "Why don't you take the chair." She directed this towards me and I did so since Sephiroth obviously did not care.
I was already bored and in need of something to do. The only things I could think of were sleeping, daydreaming, or drawing. Drawing is the one that I would like to do the most. Sephiroth sits on the floor doing his usual thing and I am looking for something to write on. "Um...can I have some paper?" I almost sheepishly ask. I have hardly said a word lately so it sounds strange to me.
"Paper? I have a note pad you can use." She dug it out from the bottom drawer of her desk and handed to me. "Do you want a pen or pencil?"
"Doesn't matter." She gave me a pen and a pencil. I finally settled down in the chair and drew. I ended up drawing many things. I drew my old self first. Now that I had been seeing myself in a different light the old look is strange. Here the people are just a bit different. Then I tried to draw this new version of myself. I gave myself new clothes to match how I felt a bit better. This one came out looking frail. I drew myself sitting down barely looking up through my now white hair. The eyes looked almost dead. Is that really how I feel right now? I compared the two versions of myself and almost did not see any resemblance. I look so different now I cannot even recognize myself. I decided to just turn the page and draw something else. Dwelling too long on something like that might just make things worse.
The next picture was an unintentional comic. Because of my current situation I found myself drawing the lab and Hojo. It started with him doing an experiment on a specimen. He improperly doses it and it wakes up halfway through the procedure and attacks him. After looking at it I found myself thinking that it would be nice if that happened. Does that make me a bad person? I ended up drawing a lot of gruesome drawings after that, although they were well done, made me feel a little depressed.
I decided to try to draw something happy...or at least something that resembles happy. Every attempt turned out worse than before. It was hard to draw something happy at the moment. In the end I started drawing things around me to get away from it. I was working on an image of Sephiroth as he sat there silently when I noticed Sheila standing over my shoulder. By then I had around 10-15 finished drawings or sketches.
"Wow! That's really good!" I jumped when she said it not expecting her to be right there behind me. She took the note pad from me and started flipping through all of the pages. She looked at the first two for a long time and then moved on to the comics. She frowned a little at them, but gave a hesitant laugh. She looked at the last one of Sephiroth and was glancing back and forth between the picture and him. "It looks just like him." She said.
Sephiroth was looking at us with his head turned slightly knowing that she was talking about him. She took it upon herself to show him and I held my breath. My mind was shouting at her, but I did not move or speak. No! I do not want him to see! I mean I do, but I don't! She showed him and he slowly reached out a hand to take it. "See...it looks just like you! Guess we've got an artist in our midst." She smiled at me and let him have the note pad. While he looked at it she got up and went back to her desk. "I think I'll hold onto them for you. Hojo wouldn't like them very much."
I could not make myself get up or look away. I had to force myself to breathe. I wanted him to like it. He had not even tried to look at any of the other drawings yet. He was still starring at the same one. Then he closed it and started at the beginning. He looked at every picture for what seemed an eternity. The first two took the longest. He looked carefully at them as if he could see exactly what they represented in some way. The comics he looked at several times. I guess he just read them the first time and then took the time to examine them. I could barely see it, but he was smiling ever so slightly. When he finished he got up and gave it back to me never saying a word. The smile had faded away as if it had never been there. I had wondered if he could even smile at all. Now I know he could. It seemed to chip away the fear I had of him slightly.
We were finally allowed back in our "cell". It was already dark outside. They had started there and now there were places for us to sleep. I think I may be the only one who uses them. All of the specimen cages are high tech needing a card swipe to open just like ours. The specimens could not rattle their cages anymore since they were bolted to the floor. Looked kind of like the pet store.
Some of the changes were obvious, but others would probably be discovered along the way. Until the upgrades are finished we have nothing to do. Part of me knew it would be boring, but at the same time it was a relief that there would be a break in what had become so routine that it made me sick. It was not something I wanted to get used to.
Author: This chapter has been edited.
