Beautiful Stranger;
A GrimmUlqui Yaoi Fan Fiction.

The door flew open, giving way to the body thrown to its direction. Grimmjow landed on the ground with a violent thud, shaking the nearby furniture and emitting a low groan from his throat. Cracking an eye open as he scratched the back of his head, he caught sight of his doom getting closer and closer by the minute.

Oh, shit!

Scrambling on the floor with his jelly limbs, he hurriedly stood up and ran on the opposite direction of the man with a golf club. Seriously, a golf club? Grimmjow didn't even know what he did in his life that he must be punished this way, wasn't even sure if he actually did anything. As far as he could remember, Ulquiorra was just trying to warm him with body heat when the electricity was out... and there was nothing wrong with that, is there? Even if there was, it wasn't like he forced the raven-haired to lose his shirt and do that. He didn't even ask him to do anything.

He looked over his shoulder, his running feet soon shuffling as his soul's reaper disappeared from his tail. He looked around, knowing it would take Ulquiorra more than that to make him give up...and Grimmjow wasn't sure if he liked sneak attacks. Ulquiorra was small and lithe while he was the opposite. There was a big possibility that the green-eyed professor would use that to his advantage. Knowing how much the man liked mind-games, he was sure it would be better to trust his own mind's judgment at the moment. Grimmjow poised himself to be able to counter quickly and flawlessly.

But nothing came.

Where is that... uhh... sexy... thing?

Grimmjow grumbled cusses, losing his pose and concentration. That just sounded so stupid.

Anyhow, the sexy thing was still nowhere to be found, so Grimmjow decided to look around. Although he knew that he would just have to run away for his life if he finds him, the blue-haired photographer continued on retracing his tracks and only stopping when he found himself back to the crime scene, A.K.A. the bedroom.

He went inside, intently searching for the beautiful raven-haired and then with a soft thud... the door suddenly closed behind him. He hurriedly twisted around and caught the piece of metal swinging down to his direction. Dumbstruck, Grimmjow was nailed to the spot with his eyes wide open, staring at the seemingly slowing bar of silver; then, the next thing he knew was a flash of colors and all other things.

Ulquiorra's limp body fell on the floor as the club on his hand flew meters away. Blue eyes stared at the body, eyes as wide as saucers while the back of his fist throbbed from recoil. The smooth and pale skin of the man on the floor reddened and swelled as if it was crying out to the guilty just how hard had he hit.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

He scrambled to collect the unconscious Ulquiorra onto his arms, swearing deep in side to every god in existence that he didn't mean to do it. Oh, and he better ask for luck while he was at it, too. Grimmjow was sure he was going to get one hell of a thank you from the Math professor later.

xxx

Grimmjow fiddled with his phone, typing in a few words and then deleting them again. It had been a week since his near death experience, and there were the obvious traces of the traumatic incident all over his face. The first time his friends and co-workers laid eyes on him, they thought he got hit by a car or was mercilessly mobbed when in truth he was only hit by scrawny arms. Needless to say, the emerald-eyed's thank you gift was well received. However, he was more than enough willing to get himself ran over by a truck driven by said generous gift giver if it would be the only way to meet him once more.

Seriously...

Rolling his blue eyes up to stare at the blowup picture of the beautiful stranger hanging in the middle of the room as if the main attraction, he crossed his arms in front of him and laid his head on it as if it was a cushion. He sighed. His struggling wasn't getting him anywhere and he was getting tired of it.

He sighed again for the umpteenth time that day. He had been doing everything he could to reach the green-eyed beauty, but not a single thing was working. He maybe not an expert on this field like Nnoitra since he had never met people who needed this much attention, but he knew he was not this stupid to fall into an option that was not to his advantage. He was going to shame Neliel and Nnoitra's reputation if this went on. The couple had been bickering on his wing more than enough times already. Not that they were together... well, not officially yet anyway.

Speaking of the love item... Here come their voices loud enough to wake the dead. Grimmjow sighed in slight annoyance and stood up from his seat, walking to the locked door to make it accessible before either of the two goes berserk on it. Their funds always get wasted on replacing doors and repairing windows. The couple was more troublesome than they were worth. Sometimes Grimmjow thought about ridding them, but they were family. At least the closest one any of them could get.

"You are so unbelievable!" The green-haired maiden screeched, stomping past Grimmjow who was holding the door open for them. His vibrant blue eyes had it hard in resisting to roll itself at the woman's rather normal antics, but he knew better than to show her any sign of dismay. He loved his life enough to be reminded that she and her real life Amazon friend will drain all his body fluids from his nose if she ever gets pissed off at him. How Neliel even met one though, he was certain it was wise to choose not know.

"Shut up, woman!" the eye-patched male followed, snarling. "You ain't exactly—"

"You shut up, asshole!" Neliel whipped around, shoving a finger at the man's chest uncovered by a white polo shirt. "No one wants to talk to a bastard like you! Now, get out of my sight before drag your sorry ass out of here myself!"

Oh, yeah... Nnoitra Jiruga and Neliel Tu Odershvank is an item. And talk about unusual romance...

"You bitch! You think you're much of a turn on, huh? You're nothing but shit to me!"

"Who are you calling a bitch, Jiruga?!"

Grimmjow blinked as he chose to stay by the door as the couple went on with their loving. That line was awfully familiar.

"Hey, Nnoitra," he blandly called out, not really caring if he was heard or not but at least his friend wouldn't say he didn't care for him. "You better take that back before—"

Oops! Too late. Neliel was already pummeling the hell out of her boyfriend—well, soon to be boyfriend. Anyhow, that was so sweet of her. After all, the green-haired lady was known for outward expression of emotions... and love certainly was a very strong one. Grimmjow had to hand it to his friend, Nnoitra was one lucky bastard. Not everyone gets to die with the hands of their love ones... or was that in the arms? Oh well, it was applicable either way. Doesn't really matter.

...But now that he thought about it, Neliel and his princess was kind of alike. Personality-wise, their stubbornness was probably on the same level, and their strength... God, their strength! Where the hell did they keep on pulling all those hits from? Sure Neliel wasn't as thin as Ulquiorra, but Neliel is a woman! A woman! How could they possibly kick anyone's ass and serve it back in a platter so easily? Especially when those asses belonged to him and Nnoitra?

Nnoitra? Nnoitra... Hmm... Nnoitra.

"Nnoitra!" Neliel gasped and went down to his now drooling and unconscious boyfriend, fisting the man's shirt. "Are you okay?! Talk to me, Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Don't leave me!!!"

Grimmjow swore the woman had a few screws loose, multiple personalities even.

"Chill, Nel." He walked to her, patting her head. "I'm sure he was just overwhelmed with your love."

"Nnoitra!!!" she wailed, clutching said overwhelmed man tightly to her chest. Grimmjow inwardly cringed at the sight. No one, and that means not a single living organism, could possibly survive through her attacks without a broken bone or two. Neliel was just too expressive to be controlled. "DON'T DIEEEE!!!"

"He's not going to die!" he yelled irritably, "Just let go of him and he'll live!"

"NNOITRAAAA!!!"

One blue eye twitched.

This was hopeless.

"OUT, DAMN IT!"

To hell with his fluids!

Grimmjow snatched the woman's wrist, shoved her out of his room and locked her out for the first time in her life, leaving Nnoitra to drool alone all over his floor. He knew he was going to pay dearly afterwards, but fuck if he wasn't going to do anything to spare his eardrums! He'd rather die in one swoop than lose his organs one by one and die slowly! However, this didn't mean Nnoitra was not going to through the same fate.

"Wake up, spoon-head." He muttered, raising his foot to dive the ball of his foot against Nnoitra's chest. "I just bought my ass a ticket to hell from your girlfriend for your sake, and I don't want some drool as a thanking gift."

"What do you want then?" The eye-patched male rolled over before Grimmjow's foot reached him, "A kiss?"

"What's the difference of drool from a kiss?"

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Virgin," Nnoitra went into a crouching position and looked up at the blue-haired photographer, "and thanks."

"Sure you are."

"...So, Jumpin'jack," he drawled, standing up and turning his head to keep watch of Grimmjow who was walking around in circles. "What do I owe you?"

"It's Jaegerjaquez, you moron."

"Whatever. Just tell me what you want me to do so I can get my ass out of here already! So what do you want? A lap dance?"

Grimmjow's beautiful eye twitched as the scene played into his mind, "Just shut up, okay?" He growled and shoved the tall man to the side as he walked past him. Sweeping the mounted photos on the high counter with one swift movement of his arm, he watched the box by his feet be filled piece by piece. Nnoitra raised a questioning brow at this but only shrugged and began picking up the stray shots on the floor to hand it to the other. Although out of curiosity, he paused for a while to see just what was so special with them...

"Pretty chick." He commented, flipping the photograph of a raven-haired staring out into the horizon while the soft colors of the sun setting reflected on her skin. Nnoitra turned to check another and saw the same person only in a different angle and pose. The woman seemed unaware, that much he was able to deduct.

"That's a guy."

"Are you sure?" he turned his head to see Grimmjow's back at him, seemingly too busy tidying his share to even bother facing him. "Doesn't really look like one to me."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

The eye-patched male turned back to the picture trapped between his fingers, "A guy, huh?"

"Geez! Get the fuck over it and stop being a lazy ass!" Grimmjow growled, suddenly hasting with his job. "If you feel the need to be reassured, a guy is a person with flat tits, a tight ass, and a dick... which I have no intention of showing you an example of!"

Nnoitra hummed, "Must be a pretty tight ass to have the kitty cat interested."

"I'm not like you."

"Oh, yeah. You go for the inner and outer beauty and all that crap."

"Don't say it like it's a load of bull."

"Is it not?" He flung the photo away, "Aren't you the one who hasn't dated the same person for a month?" Nnoitra rolled his eyes to the side and saw his friend freeze from his ministrations, evident that he had hit a sore spot. He huffed, picking the photo back up. "Either way, I don't care."

"...Really shouldn't anyway." He straightened his back with the box filled with photographs trapped in his arms. "You done gapping at my girl?"

Nnoitra raised a brow, offering the last piece of picture to the other, "I thought you said she's a he?"

"What do you want me to say? 'Stop gaping at my boy'?" Grimmjow growled low, snatching the photograph from the lanky man's hand. "It sounds as if I'm corrupted."

"Well... aren't you?"

"How about you?" Grimmjow raised a brow at him before walking towards the door. Securing his treasure in his arms, he kicked the door open and walked out with a puzzled Nnoitra following reluctantly. He slammed the door behind him right away and only realized what he did when he heard strings of curses on the other side of the door. With a smirk that he could get as close as possible in looking sorry, he reopened it and let the grumbling Nnoitra to walk out.

But then, out of the blue...

"Grimjy, where are you going?" came the threatening voice of doom. Grimmjow cringed as he flipped around and met the burning eyes of Neliel who had her hands on each side of her hips. Raising an eyebrow, she shifted her weight to one foot and then narrowed her eyes at her blue-haired childhood friend.

Grimmjow could only blink twice... or thrice before he turned swiftly, shoved Nnoitra forward, ran back inside, and then closed the door behind him with a violent thud. He pressed his back against the door as he realized just how heavy his breathing was and how quick and crazy were his heart beats. The way Neliel had looked at him was already enough to give anyone a heart attack... he couldn't even imagine what would happen if her hands had reached any part of him.

"Now what?" Nnoitra raised a brow at him, sharing his great fear from the green-haired female.

He swallowed the lump on his throat and said, "The windows."

"Huh?"

"We're going through the windows."

xxx

Ulquiorra awoke from his slumber. Needless to say, he was not happy that it was Monday again. He swore that if every day was a gift, he'd like to know whom he would return Mondays to. The day was just such a curse and his stressful days at work weren't helping things get any better. Still he knew it could be worse... like the blue-haired maniac breaking the record of not showing up for weeks. It could've been a month already if only he took notice of the days that passed so heavily.

He stood up and began preparing for work. It was smart to get ready as soon as he could so he wouldn't have the time to hear his bed's tempting whispers. Done in a whim, he walked to his front door while donning his white tailcoat as the weather had been getting colder and colder each day with the winter holidays just around the corner. Ulquiorra pulled out his keys and unlocked it. Opening the door, he gawked. Something was blocking his doorway... and as if that alone wasn't weird enough, the large brown box could've yelled it if only it had a voice as the letters appeared to almost have been engraved into it. DROP AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE was what was written all over it repeatedly in bold. Now that wasn't a usual thing to write on a delivery box... and somehow a suspicion as to whom this was from arose within him. He could only fight off the twitching that the muscles around his eyes were suggesting.

Nonetheless, a delivery was a delivery. He tried to pull it inside but found out that it was too much for a man alone to handle, so he had no choice but to open the enormous package right at the spot on his front door. But how was he going to open it? It wasn't the box's fault to have its underside blocking the doorway and not the other way around. And what was with the size and orientation? Surely the deliverymen wouldn't put it this way if it wasn't necessary. What in the world could possibly be inside a box taller tan Ulquiorra was? Somehow, an idea kept on tugging at the back of his mind.

Knowing it was impossible to pass through like this, Ulquiorra rummaged through his drawers for something he could open the box with. Few minutes later, little Mr. Green-eyed professor found a pocket knife. He walked back to his congested doorway and gave the blockage a wide-swing stab.

"Mpfh!"

Ulquiorra blinked. Did something just... cried? He slowly turned to the knife in his hand and began to reconsider if opening the package in such a way was a good idea. But surely no one is crazy enough to... naah. Throwing his doubts out the window, he gave the package another stab... and it rewarded him the same.

"Mpfh! Fhptmnm!"

Okay, now he was sure the package was possessed. This time, he threw the knife away and slid each of his hands through the vertical apertures. Tightening his grip, he pulled the tough carton apart until out came the squealing packed items themselves. Ulquiorra stumbled back, genuinely surprised of the things that fell out. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he reacted right.

"Ara?" the white item rolled to its back, revealing strange slits where one's eyes should be. The man had fine-complexion almost as light as his own with a ball of hair sparkling like silver. Beside him was another who had dark hair and was dressed in a white loose shirt with sleeves that went long past the fingertips. Ulquiorra was sure this was the first time he had seen these two people.

"Can I help you?" the owner of the house knelt down to look closer at the men who were lying flat on his floor.

"Kyaa~" the silver-haired bolted upright and pulled the green-eyed man into a suffocating embrace, "Ya' saved meeeh!"

Oof! Ulquiorra began to struggle but couldn't quite par with the man's grip, so he turned to the silver-haired's companion to seek help. "Excuse me, miss, but—"

"I'm Luppi." The dark-haired giggled, covering his mouth with his large sleeves, upon seeing Ulquiorra's obvious realization of his gender. With his small form, long and thick eyelashes, and girly face, he knew getting pissed over this usual thing was going to be pointless. "And this is," he reached out to pat his companion's shoulder.

The silver-haired suddenly loosened his grip but did not completely release him, "Gin Ichimaru!" he chirped.

"And we are here," the two chorused, "to deliver you a message."

"A message?"

"From GrimmKitty!" Gin smiled.

Green eyes blinked in disbelief, Ulquiorra's jaw slacking open. This was just too... unbelievable! After so long of living a peaceful life without headache and embarrassment, he'd have to find out that Hell just multiplied into three? Yet somehow, in the back of his mind, the Math professor wanted someone to show up and say:

I told you so.


FEN: Oh, gawrsh! I beg for your forgiveness!!! I've been away for so long! PLEASE, DUN HATE MEEEH!!! DX