Cullen let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. He was finally done with paperwork for today. The watchtowers have been built. Roads secured. They had sealed several rifts...and Cullen had to smile when he remembered how great work Ellena did.
Then there was Blackwall. The grey warden knew nothing of disappearances of his colleagues but offered to help the Inquisition personally. A nice gesture Cullen thought but there was still something about that man which made his skin crawl. Well perhaps it was the whole blight thing, after all not many people felt comfortable around The ex-templar stood up slowly and stretched his back which had gone rigid from long hours of hunching over the desk.
"At least things have started to move forward." He said to his empty room and again checked with his eyes his attire all prepared for tomorrow. Yes everything seemed in order for their trip to Val Royeaux to meet with the Chantry mother they've got recommended and hopefully they would also be able to pick up First Enchanter Vivienne.
After some arguing in the war room the council finally decided that it would be for the best to send whole strong party. More people might show off that the Inquisition is a serious business. Leliana will lead as she is best aquatinted with Val Royeaux. Cassandra and he will take care of safety and Varric, Solas, Blackwall and Ellena will be there just to make the entourage look bigger and more persuasive.
All in all Cullen felt quite happy about the trip. He couldn't care less about politics but he was looking forward to spend some time with Ellena in different environment than Haven. The ex-templar let out a small sigh. Yes, he accepted the fact that he had been eyeing Ellena more than he should have. He cared for her and every day his feelings grew stronger.
But off course being a professional he would not let anyone know. Over the years as a templar he saw how bad fraternization among soldiers ended up and he was adamant in not letting that happen here. Or at least he will try. And Cullen felt his will falter again. He will care, he will make sure she is safe and alright but he will not cross that line from friendship to anything more. Besides, she would not want him anyway. Ellena was beautiful woman and Cullen was sure that in time, when she learns how to deal with her new freedom and life she would find someone more suited for her.
"She is also an elf." Cullen growled at himself in frustration. That was another thing to consider. In all his years he had never considered elves as object of his desires. Yes some of the elven women were pretty but he had always sought out company of humans.
But watching Ellena made his blood boil. The elegant way in which she moved around when she was not aware someone was watching her. Her voice, so melodic and heavy with exotic Tevinter accent. He swore he could listen to that voice for hours. Her deeply green eyes shining like two emeralds and in stark contrast with her lightly bronze skin and long black hair. And lastly her marks. The golden tattoos which decorated her face and neck left Cullen often sleepless with his mind running wild as he battled with himself trying to stop his mind from imagining if the intricate design covered her whole body.
Commander of the Inquisition shook his head finally and on brisk feet headed out of the chantry building and out. He needed cold night air to banish such thoughts from his mind. Or perhaps a cold bath..or both.
"It is a nice night." Ellena could hear Cullen's voice suddenly behind her which almost made her jump out of her skin. "I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you." The Commander apologized and the still slightly surprised elf before him noticed his eyes darted here and there as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Probably a habit when he is nervous, Ellena thought fondly.
"No...I just...did not expect anyone here at this hour." She managed to say and tried to command her voice, although with each passing day it has proven more and more difficult in Cullen's presence. Ellena silently cursed herself for her weakness and with all her willpower forced her heart to slow down from the mad racing as she slowly stood up and focused her eyes on the tips of Cullen's shoes.
"How may I serve?" The elf asked finally this time in her usual flat tone of voice. At last some semblance of sense. She heard him sigh slightly at her question before he walked closer, now no more than one step away.
"I just thought we could talk. Alone." Cullen's right hand balled into a fist and then relaxed. He seemed nervous but Ellena had no idea why. Perhaps he had some bad news?
"Of course. Where do you wish to go?"
Cullen looked around Haven for a moment as if deciding about the answer before his right hand moved forward and his gloved fingers gently wrapped around hers. "Lets walk a bit around. I must say with all the work I didn't even have time to look around Haven properly." He smiled and led them through the main gate, outside the village.
Ellena noticed the night guards giving them odd looks but they said nothing. The presence of their commander seemed enough to silent any questions they might have had. The two of them walked slowly amongst the tents and Ellena could hear some rustling of the sleeping bags and occasional cough or snore of some of the soldiers but as they continued to walk the night became more and more silent until they could hear only the wind playing amongst the tree branches.
It was true, tonight was really beautiful.The moon and the stars reflected from the fresh snow and everything seemed to glitter as if covered in diamond dust. After a while the pair had arrived to the frozen lake and Cullen stopped, his eyes overlooking the glistening surface. Ellena kept silent and focused on the steam which formed at her every breath. She had no idea what to say or do. This man still seemed like a mystery to her and she had to admit to herself that fear grew in her heart for somehow she might fail again and destroy this moment.
But Cullen suddenly turned his attention towards her, his free hand slowly found its way to her cheek and he gently turned Ellena's face upwards while she felt his thumb stroke her jaw and her heart hammered against her ribcage with such force that she was sure The Commander must hear it.
"Look at me Ellena...I noticed you never look into my eyes." Cullen said finally and Ellena felt another inner battle rage inside her mind. Should she look? Obey him? What if it is a trap?What if she looks him in the eyes and he will slap her for it. But Cullen had seemed like a good man and she wanted to believe in that. Wanted to trust him. And so the former slave looked up despite everything which she has been taught and gazed into his amber eyes. He was so close that she was sure he must not only hear the fast thrumming of her heart but probably could also feel it. But it felt good. Ellena felt nervous but in a good way.
"You are so beautiful." She heard The Commander say before he gently couped her face with both his hands and leaned in for a kiss. Ellena closed her eyes and felt his lips lightly brush against hers. They were soft and warm and she felt a surge of excitement rush through her whole spine. Yes she could finally admit it to herself. She wanted this. Him.
Cullen paused for a moment as if testing her reaction but Ellena did not want him to stop. Not now. Not ever. And for the first time in her life she acted on her feelings rather than teachings and pressed herself closer to him and leaned in for another kiss, deepening it. Her lips parted and she could feel light brush of Cullen's tongue against her bottom lip in a teasing way as he lightly smiled before he pressed one hand against the small of her back and drew her closer, leaving them both breathless and lost in the moment. Each time Ellena felt his tongue run along her lips her body felt warmer and she heard a soft moan escape her own throat. Cullen chuckled lightly and his strong hand rand slowly down from her cheek, along the line of her neck and finally rested between her shoulderblades, his both arms wrapped around her form in protective way. And trully enough Ellena felt safe and secured in his embrace. She suddenly wanted to be daring and wrapped her arms around his neck and playfully nibbled on his bottom lip, this time it was Cullen who let out a muffled moan and Ellena wanted nothing more than to hear that sound again.
"I am sorry to interrupt your busy night, commander." Leliana's voice suddenly cut through the silence of the night and for the second time that night Ellena felt as if she had just jumped out of her skin. Cullen probably felt the same as he hastily pulled away from her, his face mixture of annoyance and embarrassment.
"Yes Leliana?" He asked in low and angry voice and probably on instinct stood before his elven companion.
"Well not that it was not amusing seeing our Commander distracted from his duties for once. Maker knows you can use some break time but honestly...with her? You know it might reflect poorly on you. There are only few people who tolerate her." Leliana smiled in a cold smile and looked at the elf exactly the same way as Ellena's former master did. That cold and calculated look left a cold pit in Ellena's stomach and she took a small step back.
"What do you want Leliana?" Cullen growled and his hand tightened around Ellena's wrist almost painfully but for now the ex-templar remained deaf to the sharp intake of breath which escaped her lips.
"We have received an urgent report from Fallow Mire. The scouts we have dispatched were captured by local Avvar clan, their leader seems to hold grudge against Inquisition and wishes to settle this according to their clan's rules, which means a duel. I have already talked with Cassandra and we've agreed that you should take Solas and Blackwall and deal with the matter."
"And you had to tell me that right now in the middle of the night?" Cullen spat in a tone which left little for interpretation about how annoyed he suddenly felt.
Ellena saw a smile widen on Leliana's lips as she answered in mockingly cheerful tone. "Well considering you are not busy and the lives of our men are in danger, I thought it best that you set out as soon as possible, Commander."
Cullen only sighed and let go of Ellena's hand. He stomped past Leliana and without turning back to either of the two women, disappeared into the darkness of the night.
"I have something for you too." The spymaster looked at the elf coldly and threw a white envelope at her, the paper landed at Ellena's feet in the snow but she dared not to look at Leliana.
"A letter from home you will certainly appreciate. And please, do try to act as you are supposed to I do not think you wish to bring shame on your master's household."
The last words cut like a dagger. Ellena numbly reached for the letter and noticed only the red wax seal of Atorian House. Leliana must have left meanwhile but the elf felt terrified and the throbbing in her ears made her deaf to the footsteps or to anything the Spymaster might have said before leaving. The wax seal of the letter had been broken and Ellena battled with her trembling and freezing fingers for a while with the envelope before she could finally withdraw a sheet of parchment. She had to head back. Needed some light to read this and she knew she had to read this, no matter how terrified she might have been.
To Sister Nightingale,
I appreciate the Inquisition's effort in regards to the elf slave, responding to the name Third. According to the Tevinter law system I have indeed inherited all assets and possessions of my late husband Tavus Atorian, which also includes all presently owned slaves.
I understand your concern about the safety and the value the said slave holds for your cause. I am therefore willing to lend her to you until the matter of southern security is solved.
Consider this as act of my good will in ensuring continuous fruitful relations between the south and Tevinter Empire.
I will send my people to collect her once your business is over. Until then I entrust the slave under your command. Should she be damaged or killed I will expect appropriate coverage for the loss of property.
With best of regards
Acantha Atorian
Ellena read the letter several times before the words made sense to her numb mind and she felt her whole body tremble. So she belonged to her Master's wife now. She had to take few deep breaths to stop dark spots appearing at the edge of her vision because she felt like she would faint at any moment. During her service for Atorian House Ellena had met few slaves who belonged to her Master's wife. None of them survived more than few months. And now it was her fate to face.
That was after all this had been done. Ellena read the letter again to make sure she understood. So Leliana was her mistress now, while she worked with the Inquisition. The elf swallowed hard and felt the burning in her throat as she fought back the tears. Yes she was stupid. Had almost believed that life could turn for the better here. And at that moment Ellena remembered the kiss at the lake and her self control crumbled. Tears flooded her eyes and she started sobbing uncontrollably. Again she was reminded of the wise words from one of the elder cooks in her Master's home.
"Love is a luxury of free people dear. You will save yourself a lots of pain if you give up on it now."
The cook was right. Ellena had almost stepped into the world of free people but she knew her place. Now at least she had someone to obey and follow and a goal. And she will not think about her future for now.
After all, for slaves the ultimate truth is to live one day at a time. As they never know what tomorrow might bring.
Thirteen days have passed since Ellena had received the news from home and since the last time she had seen Cullen. Leliana reassigned her into a new place. The Spymaster needed Ellena's former room to house the newest member of the Inquisition. First Enchanter Vivienne had arrived from Val Royeaux five days ago after Cassandra, Varric and Leliana picked her up. Ellena had been reminded that she was not needed for this journey and was ordered to stay in the cabin and wait further orders.
And so she did. Food was delivered three times a day by one of the girls who tended to the inn and those were the only times when Ellena had any company. Despite their visits only lasted a couple of minutes the lonely elf started to look forward to each meal as with each passing day she grew more and more sad and miserable. At last one day she was told by one of the girls who brought the dinner to report to Sister Leliana at once in the chantry. Finally she might get some orders or answers,Ellena thought. Anything was better than to stay here and wait and when she had arrived into the proper tent in front of the Chantry Lelliana was already waiting for her.
"Ah, good." Leliana looked at her ward and wrinkled her nose. "Take these and get yourself cleaned up after we are done here. You reek." The spymaster tossed a bar of soap and towel Ellena's way who kept her eyes on the ground but felt an embarrassed blush flush her cheeks. "Yes Madam."
"Now. We've received word from Commander that their work in Fallow Mire is done. They will arrive tonight and tomorrow we will set out to negotiate with the templar order. You are coming with us, there might be rifts along the way. I want you to follow close behind me and do what I tell you. Otherwise keep your mouth shut. Any questions?" Lelliana asked in her usual cheerful yet terrifying tone of voice and Ellena shook my head: "No Madam."
"Very well, dismissed."
Ellena clutched the towel and the soap to her chest and walked slowly through Haven and outside to the makeshift bathhouse. Along the way she could see villagers and soldiers alike tend to their duties who for the most part ignored her except for few occasional glances. As she dragged herself outside the wooden gate the elf heard pounding of the horse hooves and excited cheers from the troops who gathered outside to greet the arriving riders.
Just as she had dreaded, it was him. Cullen sat atop his horse and gave few nods to his soldiers. He was dirty from mud and blood but seemed unharmed, same as Solas and Blackwall and beehind them followed around ten soldiers. At least they were successful. Ellena thought with relief as she lowered her head and moved forward in the opposite direction from the happy crowd.
"Ellena!" Cullen called out to her. But she knew better than to respond, knew my place and Leliana's orders were crystal clear and so she only lowered her head and dashed away. Somehow Ellena had hoped that running would help her. To run away from the pain she suddenly felt in her heart.
She was wrong though. It seemed that nothing could help with that now.
Upadated: 11.3.2016
