A/N #1- The convention reference in the last chapter was about John's hair and how he seemed uncooperative. If you haven't seen it, go to you tube, search for J_ _ F_ _ _ _ _ _ at the Stargate Atlantis Con Burbank 2007. It's 2:20 long. Fanfiction eats links, so that's the best I can do. If you haven't seen this vid, you simply must!
A/N #2- Among the many liberties I've taken, timeline becomes one as well in this chapter. I know that the release date of a certain song does not coincide with the dates Elizabeth appeared on Atlantis. Try to forget you know that too. Does it really matter? If so, consider it A/U, it has gotten quite nutty here anyway.
Hope you enjoy, remember- this is for fun!
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"Oh no, we're too late!"McKay had just thundered into the tent. "We should have realized they'd snatch him, pretty boy."
John was standing there clad only in his boxers; his BDU's dangled quite ungracefully about his ankles. Keoni turned placing her back against his chest as though indicating she'd already laid claim.
Ronon's eyes were almost twinkling with laughter.
John tried to clear his throat, but he really couldn't find anything appropriate to even try to explain this. He finally just shrugged and hoped his cheeks weren't as red as he thought.
"They haven't kidnapped him, they're helping him. Where have you all been anyway? Evan." Cadman nodded when Lorne emerged from where he'd been practically hiding behind Ronon.
"Yes, where have you been? I'm overdue to check in with you by-"John glanced at his watch and frowned. "By over thirty minutes. We couldn't have been that hard to find, what have you been doing?"
"Um. Well, you see, we were just-"McKay started speaking nervously.
"McKay! You promised!" Lorne moved around glaring at McKay.
"I don't see what the big deal is, I thought it was funny." Ronan said.
"These are your friends?" Keoni asked John.
"Well…I suppose that would be an accurate statement." John tried to suppress his smile as he looked at the men's ashen faces.
"Sheppard, you are unbelievable! I am hurt. You should not be allowed out in public, we should have Elizabeth make that a rule of sorts. You cause trouble wherever you go." McKay turned away as if to leave.
"Wait." Keoni spoke and the women who assisted her stepped quickly to block the exit. "You are then friends of Dr. Weirs as well. You must attend the celebration. Ladies."
John couldn't suppress his smirk now as the women went to work on Lorne, McKay and Ronon. "Cadman?"
"I'll just be outside then sir." Cadman started laughing softly as she exited the tent.
"And no snorting." John called behind her.
"Gentlemen, please excuse us. We need to gather some extra clothing." Keoni moved away. She turned back in the doorway and smiled, "Don't go anywhere."
John pulled his pants back up before looking towards the others. "Someone got a canteen?" Lorne tossed one over and John took a long drink of the fresh water. "No one is to touch the food or drinks. Last thing we need is to be under the influence of some alien aphrodisiac. Lorne!"
"It was just one time sir!"
"But Sheppard I'm starving! We didn't even get to eat after our first mission; I haven't had a proper meal all day!"
John raised his eyebrow towards McKay. "You know what McKay, go ahead. These women will eat you alive."
Just then the women returned. They brought warm wet towels so they could attempt to wipe the grime away, dry towels and fresh clothing. John was actually impressed with the clothing and a bit frightened at the same time. The outfit presented to each man fit damn near perfectly. They were used to sizing up their men obviously.
"Hey flyboy?" Cadman yelled inside.
"What?" John and Lorne yelled.
One of the women eased up beside Lorne, smiling appreciatively. "You are also a pilot? I am Aren."
"Lorne! Outside! Now!" Cadman's voice bellowed.
Lorne eased out the door looking unsure if he was being rescued or if he was now in more trouble.
Aren looked towards John. "Is that one spoken for then?"
John carefully considered her question. It wasn't Lorne's fault he couldn't dissuade Elizabeth. Didn't mean he couldn't have some fun torturing him anyway. "No, I don't believe he has been spoken for."
Aren licked her lips. "Lovely, just lovely." She smiled before vanishing through the doorway.
"You know, I am also a pilot. Err… well at least I can fly a puddle jumper." McKay puffed his chest outward smiling proudly.
Before John could even tease him about his flying ability, one of the other women moved forward. Her face was contorted as though trying to suppress her smile. "Yes, that sounds…most impressive."
"See Sheppard, puddle jumper was a horrible name. It makes them sound like toys." McKay pouted.
Keoni looked at John. "We must go now, the ceremony is about to begin. I will find you later; we have some work to do." She winked at John as she moved away. She paused in the doorway as the other women exited. "And gentlemen, if I do say so, you clean up most deliciously." Her soft laughter floated through the doorway as she left.
"Still hungry Rodney?" John was digging around in his gear; he knew they were in his pockets somewhere.
"Oh ha, ha. Let's have some more fun at my expense shall we?" McKay huffed as he headed towards the door.
"Hold up McKay." John slipped his sunglasses on. "Grab your shades guys. Time for us to have a little fun."
"Lorne this is not funny, will you stop running!" Cadman's voice grew louder as did the footsteps approaching the tent.
"Someone dig out Lorne's too, he seems a little preoccupied." John neared the door peering out to see what exactly was going on.
"Oh pretty flyboy!" Aren's voice rang out just the way the guy did in Sixteen Candles calling oh sexy girlfriend. John hadn't thought about that movie in ages. He had a feeling they were going to top the shenanigans from that movies notable party before the night was over.
Aren's feet flew past the entry to the tent, apparently running in pursuit of Lorne. Ronon joined them in the doorway, smiling broadly. Heavier footsteps approached and John pivoted out of the doorway grabbing Lorne firmly and pulling him back in the tent.
Lorne leaned over, panting as he tried to catch his breath. "Those women are insane! We need to grab Elizabeth and just run for our lives Sheppard!"
"Buck up flyboy, I think we can protect you. Besides we can't leave now without having a little fun of our own can we?" John shoved Lorne's sunglasses against his chest. He grabbed a nearby canteen taking a long sip of water.
"Do you think now would be an appropriate time to tell him we filled those out of a local stream?" McKay blinked rapidly. "I haven't been feeling so good. Do you think there's something in the water? It could be low blood sugar though, I'm starving!"
John gritted his teeth before tossing the canteen aside. "Let's roll."
The four men strode out of the tents opening, fanning out into a staggered line as they moved towards the party. Their dark black suits and crisp white shirts practically crackled as they moved into the breezy night. John pulled a lollipop from his pocket tucking it inside his mouth, the white stem protruding much like the stem on a cigarette. He turned his head back pulling the sucker out and saw Lorne finally sliding his shades on.
Lorne nodded appreciatively towards John. "Nice. Great movie."
"What's he talking about?" Ronon grunted.
"Ronon, when we get back, I'm going to have to introduce you to another great movie. It's called Reservoir Dogs, and I'm not talking about the four legged variety." John tucked the sucker back in his mouth.
"Sheppard, you got another one of those? That would be great for my blood sugar." McKay tripped as he finished talking. "See? I'm running out of time here."
John stopped pulling down his sunglasses enough to glare at McKay.
"Right. Let's roll as you put it." McKay straightened his suit jacket. "I need to find my woman anyway; god only knows what chunk of meat has his hands on her by now."
"Now you've got the right attitude McKay." John nodded as the men headed off again.
This time they were near enough the crowd to be noticed. And noticed they were. As they swaggered in faces turned with interest at the fearsome foursome whose entrance practically demanded their attention. Couples stopped swaying in dance as they approached, watching keenly as John and his little posse continued on. John figured they probably weren't used to grown men wearing their sunglasses at night.
John's search for Elizabeth was somewhat obstructed by the sunglasses, but he wasn't about to take them off. He finally spotted her dancing with Keoni's partner. That particular chunk of meat seemed to have conveniently forgotten about Keoni. His hands were far too comfortable planted upon Elizabeth's waist.
"Oh, I don't think so!" McKay hissed.
John followed McKay's eyes and found Katie similarly ensconced within the embrace of another pretty boy. Ronon snarled and John turned his head again to find Teyla dancing as well. They pressed forward. John saw Elizabeth catch a glimpse of their approach, doing a fierce double take that would probably leave her feeling whiplashed for days. Somehow, her feet continued to move flawlessly hitting the steps of the dance which looked oddly enough like a version of the foxtrot. Teyla likewise had turned her head, her composed features concealing much of the surprise revealed by the widening of her eyes. Katie alone stopped cold, staring at their approach. John figured she was most likely shocked realizing Rodney was about to man up to the situation.
John paused realizing the other's footsteps had stalled behind him. He cocked his head backward and hissed, "What are you doing?"
McKay had his cell phone out, extending his arm in the air.
"Rodney, don't think you're gonna get reception here, we are in another galaxy."
"John, just sway or something. Don't get in the way, we practiced earlier." McKay said as he punched at the phone.
John looked at Ronon who just shrugged. "We got bored waiting for you." He said.
John watched and suddenly an entirely too familiar tune thumped against his ear. Oh they couldn't, they wouldn't. His jaw dropped as the three men behind him started dancing. He couldn't believe of all people McKay had seen Justin Timberlake spoof this Beyonce song on Saturday Night Live.
All the single ladies, all the single ladies...
John shored up his shoulders and turned back to the crowd. He tossed the sucker aside and strutted forward, then crossed one foot before the other and did a little spin. He had a few moves too, he'd never say they looked good, but it seemed appropriate now. He racked his brain trying to remember the steps to this song. He fell in with the others pretty decently for a minute before deciding he'd had enough.
There was a reason he was here, he tried not to bop along to the tune as he ambled up to Elizabeth. She along with everyone else present had frozen long ago watching their performance. He was surprised to note that most of those present actually seemed delighted with their show. John could only imagine what they were thinking; they'd probably never seen anything like it. He glanced back to Rodney, Evan and Ronon and smiled. Maybe that was a good thing; the men were waving their hands back and forth pointing at their ring finger.
Cuz If you liked it than you shoulda put a ring on it…
John closed in on Elizabeth, her smile stretched wider than he'd ever seen it before. He grabbed her hands, nodding curtly to the he-man. "I'm cutting in. Deal with it."
John spun Elizabeth around.. "Know how to tango?"
She laughed, "This is hardly tango music John!"
"That's what you think." He put one hand on her hip, pushing her backward to the beat.
She laughed again, catching on quickly. It actually did work quite well to the song, they pushed forward and back against each other to the beat.
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh
John turned Elizabeth again, catching a glimpse of Rodney as he grabbed Katie bending her back so far her hair scraped against the ground. John pulled Elizabeth around just in time for her to see them kiss. Teyla then came strutting up to Ronon, stalking around him in a circle before pressing him backwards as she began to dance with him. There was only one couple missing now. John pivoted slowly and found Cadman back in the shadows. She nodded down, showing John she had gathered all their belongings. He nodded slowly in return. Right, time for the grand finale.
Keoni approached scowling. Her scowl broke into a broad smile as she arrived at their side. "We could have had fun with them John, but perhaps things turned out much better this way. You must come back soon; this is the most fun we've ever had during one of our festivals."
"Thank you Keoni. " Elizabeth said warmly before turning to arch her brow sharply towards John.
Right. That was his cue to flee. "Yeah, thanks. Keoni, we don't mean to be rude, but I think it's time for us to go." John swiveled and scooped Elizabeth up, tossing her over his shoulder.
"John!" Elizabeth yelped, but her laughter drowned out any remaining protest she may have held.
"Let's roll." He called out, jostling the others attention.
Ten minutes later, they emerged from the event horizon into Atlantis's gateroom. For a reason John could not currently recall, it had seemed like a good idea to toss Elizabeth over his shoulder again before he went through the Stargate. Judging from all the wide eyed frozen bodies, that may have been a bad idea. John was still in the suit, Elizabeth still clad in her toga. He gently put her down, trying to ignore the fact that everyone around was now speaking frantically into their radios and more and more bodies were rushing in to witness their arrival.
John turned around looking at their friends behind them. Cadman had apparently forgiven Lorne though they seem to have forgotten they were still holding hands. Rodney's arm was firmly around Katie's waist while Ronon's rested more discretely at the small of Teyla's back. John's eyes finally came back to rest upon Rodney's.
McKay moved closer to John. "Don't worry, we've got this." He tugged his phone from his pocket as the others nodded in agreement around them. "We'll tell them about the water later. It's all good."
It's all good? John looked at Lorne who just shrugged. John tugged his sunglasses out and slipped them back onto his face as did all the other men. Teyla moved in front of them all and began to belt out the lyrics along with Beyonce's voice blaring through the phone. John was stunned, he knew she could sing…but damn! And how did she even know the song that well? How had she even seen that video? McKay strutted up along side of her, dueling for the attention. McKay, John should have known.
Elizabeth was laughing again as John pushed her sideways. The others were all dancing along, now waving their arms and pointing at their ring fingers. John propelled Elizabeth into a nearby corridor, but not before noticing the looks of sheer shock from the crowd in front of them. He heard whistling pierce the air and could see the lights from palm pilots and iPods waving to and fro. No one would even notice they'd left with this show going on in the gateroom. Hopefully it would be good enough that the Atlantis crew would even forget they'd arrived with Elizabeth dangling over his shoulder.
They ended up on the deserted southwest pier. Moonlight cast a luminous glow over Elizabeth. Now that they were alone and no other eyes were present to ogle her body, John found a new appreciation for her rather revealing toga. Elizabeth contentedly leaned back against the rail. John almost rolled his eyes when he realized she was still humming that damn song.
He walked up to her and took her hand, lacing his fingers through her own. "I would, for what it's worth."
She turned her head sideways as she studied his face seriously. "You would what John?"
He pulled up her left hand leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on her ring finger. "I'd put a ring on it."
Her mouth opened slightly, her lips forming the most adorable looking "O" shape. There was nothing in the Pegasus galaxy that could have stopped him from kissing her at that moment. Before his lips brushed her own, her arms clamped around him, pulling him towards her and he felt his shoulders sag with relief. The heat of her lips melted any of his remaining fears of rejection. He pressed further into her, finding a new appreciation for that damn song as it started echoing in his ears.
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh
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A/N: I think everyone has seen the Justin Timberlake spoof with Beyonce. If not, go to you tube. Now! Also, the new TV show Glee did a great spoof with the football team performing this during a game. Again, you tube.
I hope you enjoyed the insanity; I had so much fun with this one. If you need a reason, just blame it on the water. Otherwise, categorize it as A/U. Whatever helps!
Thanks for following- see you out there!
