Title: Return Home
Chapter Title: Your Life and Mine
(Fic Series): A Life Worth Living
Fandom: Free!
Pairings: Sousuke/Rin
Rating: T
Warnings: Mentions of severe jealousy?
Chapter Summary:
Sometimes you second guess yourself.
A/N:
Another fun one to write. I really want to write more of Gou, but the focus of this wasn't really her. It was more about Rin and how creeping fears create doubts that have you taking back your initial gut feelings. It's hard to break that kind of thing, but it's important to remember your gut instincts are there for a reason.
Chapter Four: Your Life and Mine
"I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this," Gou sighed. She pulled her legs up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her soft pajama pants.
"It is a big deal! Why aren't you going to college!? I thought you said you were going to go to a local college first!" Rin was nearly screeching as he waved his arms around in a frantic and frustrated manner. Sousuke stood a few feet away, not knowing if he wanted to go to Gou's aid, or stand by Rin.
"I already told you," she groaned, "that because we don't have money I'm going to be working for now and save up for it."
"You shouldn't be working, you should be going to school," Rin argued, crossing his arms. "It doesn't matter that we don't have money, you shouldn't waste time."
"I'm not going to argue about this anymore," Gou said as she turned back to the TV and un-paused her movie. Rin instantly went to stand in the way of the TV, fuming that she had ignored him like that.
"Gou! You have to go to college! You're never going to get a good job if you don't."
Gou paused her movie again and stood up, putting her arms on her hips and getting red in the face.
"You're being more stubborn than I am! You don't know that! And I'm not saying I'm never going! Right now just isn't the right time. I know you're worried but I can take care of myself just fine, you're being a worrywart! I've already talked about it with mom and she's okay with it so there's nothing more to discuss!"
Rin stepped back in surprise as she started to wave her own hands around in a clear display of her anger. He was hurt that she shut him out so coldly at the end, saying that there was nothing to discuss with him. He was about to start up again when two arms swooped under him and he was carried out of the room, yelling at the abductor the entire way. When he was finally dropped down in his room he was about to shoot for the door again but Sousuke quickly pressed his back against it.
"Rin, you need to calm down. Gou's right, she can take care of herself," Sousuke reasoned with the boy. Rin was gaping at him in surprise before his face contorted in anger.
"Why are you taking her side!? Don't any of you realize that she's not going to get anywhere if she doesn't go to college!?"
Sousuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from raising his own voice. Rin was being unreasonable, but it was because he loved his sister. He wanted nothing but the best for his sister and that was somehow equating to going to college right out of high school.
"Rin, Gou will be fine. She's not going to do anything stupid, and she certainly isn't going to stay working as a part-timer or full-timer at some minimum wage job. She's going to chase after what she wants to do in her own way and her own time," Sousuke sighed in exasperation.
"But she," Rin started and Sousuke opened his eyes again and he stopped.
"Rin. I promise you Gou will be fine, and even if she did work some shitty job for the rest of her life, does that matter?"
"What?" Rin asked, a confused scowl on his face.
"If she's happy does it matter if she's an Olympic swimmer or a cashier at some store?" Sousuke stood up straighter. "Or where those just pretty words you could give me, but can't give your precious sister?"
"What?" Rin blurted out, completely lost. "Of course not."
Sousuke's expression softened again, and tension he didn't realize he had left his shoulders. He took in another deep breath and exhaled, pulling Rin into a tight hug he couldn't escape. Rin just let it happen, taking in what Sousuke was saying.
"If you really believe that, then trust her. Trust Gou to not give up on her own happiness. She'll be fine. I know she's your precious little sister, but she's also your," Sousuke explained, stressing its importance, "little sister. She's a Matsuoka and she's not going to settle for anything less than what she wants. You need to have a little more faith in her."
Rin stayed silent, just standing in Sousuke's arms, leaning against him. The noise from the TV muffled by the door and the fan of the laptop that was still on from Sousuke's earlier use were the only noises in Rin's ears. He couldn't even hear them breathing. He closed his eyes and let his head fall onto Sousuke's shoulder and let out a breath he had been holding. Sousuke was right, he wasn't being fair.
"I'm sorry."
"You should say that to Gou," Sousuke chuckled, kissing the top of his head.
"Yeah," Rin admitted before wrapping his arms loosely around Sousuke's waist. "Thank you."
Sousuke hummed and walked them over to the bed, dropping them down onto the twin mattress before rolling in and allowing Rin to fix himself into a comfortable position. Sousuke knew he was too embarrassed and ashamed to apologize right away. He'd do it in the morning first thing, or while they were getting breakfast.
"What would I do without you?"
"The same thing," Sousuke answered, "but you'd probably have a lot harder time realizing you were wrong."
"Jerk," Rin mumbled into his pillow as he flipped around. Sousuke curled around him, a smile on his lips.
"And you'd be lonelier," he added.
Rin snorted, but laced their fingers together and hid his smile from him. They both knew he was right. Rin settled down and frowned as the silence between them stretched on. His mind was swirling with thoughts of her sister's uncertain future, and his unreliable one. The future was becoming increasingly scary and he had been starting to second guess himself. He wondered how Sousuke put his trust in him so easily when he himself had only a vague idea of what he wanted to happen.
"You're thinking too much," Sousuke mumbled against Rin's hair. Rin didn't comment, staring out at his desk where a picture of the three of them sat. It was of the first day of sixth grade for Sousuke and Rin. Both of them were standing behind Gou with their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders and peace signs in their free hands. Gou stood in front of them with a big smile and two small peace signs of her own.
"So much has changed already," he whispered, confiding a secret fear in the silence and in Sousuke. He was squeezed by the arms hugging him and Sousuke's heat started spreading quicker into his shirt. It was a comforting temperature, a reassuring one.
"It'll keep changing, but that doesn't mean any of us have to separate because of it. And even if it does, we'll all still have each other."
"I know that."
"It's okay to be worried, but it's a bit pointless to ruin today over it, don't you think? If anything happens all we have to do is fix it Rin, you don't need to wait for something bad to happen. No one will ever be prepared for it even if you're stressing over it now."
"I know," Rin grumbled.
"I know you know," Sousuke chuckled as he rolled Rin over to face him. Rin pouted at the triumphant face he saw there. He snarled at the other.
"If you know that I know then stop with the lectures."
"Can't do that," Sousuke hummed, grin never faltering. Rin huffed out in annoyance and was about to complain more when Sousuke kissed him quiet. "You just need a reminder sometimes."
"A reminder," Rin repeated. Sousuke kissed him again and Rin brought up his hand and blocked his face from reaching his, laughing at the pathetic noise of disappointment Sousuke let out just for him. "You're an idiot."
"Yeah," Sousuke agreed, "I am so you have to remind me when I do or think something stupid, too."
"I'll be reminding you for the rest of my life," Rin laughed at his own joke and Sousuke grinned wider as he started messing with Rin, turning him into a giggling mess. "Stop that!" He yelled as he swatted away offending, ticklish fingers from his sides.
"I will if you say the magic words," Sousuke deadpanned and Rin stared at him in silence as everything stopped before busting out into another uncontrollable laugh. Tears were welling up in his eyes he was laughing so hard.
"You looked so serious!" He cried, laughing harder when offending hands started tickling him again. "Stop! Stop! I give up, come on Sousuke!"
"Magic words," Sousuke hummed, continuing the brutal attack. Rin tried to fight him off, laughing only making him weaker.
"Okay! Okay! I love you, alright!?"
Rin yelped as Sousuke flopped down on top as soon as the words had left his mouth. Rin started to calm down, breathing heavy and cheeks aching. He kissed the grade-school grin off Sousuke, enjoying the surprised noise he had made. Most times Rin wondered why everyone assumed Sousuke was the more mature of the two when he was practically an eternal ten year old.
"I love you too," Sousuke managed to say in between kisses. Rin just grinned against his lips and decided he indeed had been thinking too much. He had plenty of things to enjoy; there was no point in ruining them over an unforeseen, uncontrollable future. Gou's life would be vastly different than his. Even Sousuke's was unlike his own even though they spent so much time together, but that didn't mean anything fundamental would change. If anything happened, they all still had each other's backs, and would come rushing to help should one of them fall.
Time and change could not stop those truths.
