Chapter 4: Silver Lining?

There was a lot on my plate. Or, it felt like there was, at least.

I lie on my back, hands behind head. I stared up at the sky, and watched the clouds glide across it. I watched them intently, as if they could help solve my problems. Like the answers would appear on one of them and I would know what to do.

Of course, I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Between my worries of the people on my "apology list" and my worries for Chihiro, finding any answers at all seemed like trying to pull water from thin air. (For a normal person, that is; this is the Spirit world, so I could technically pull anything from thin air.) It felt like a futile situation.

I felt like I was a first grader backed into a corner by two giant bullies. The thought make me sigh aloud. I hated feeling weak. I hated feeling like I couldn't do anything, and feeling like I shouldn't even try.

I hit the back of my head on the ground in frustration. I tried to make myself see reason, to see the silver lining in the clouds and read it like a page of a book. When no answer appeared, I gave in.

I sat up slowly. I knew what my problem was, actually. What seemed like a difficult problem was actually a simple one. I was discouraged and worried all because. . . because I didn't want to face Rokuto Tsusui.

What I did to him and (indirectly) his family was something that was going to be hard to forgive. I knew all I could do was apologize, of course, but I wished I could reverse it. I wanted a second chance. I wanted to him to know I had changed.

I stood upon realizing this. I wanted him (and everyone else, for that matter) to know I wasn't the same person I was before. And I was different.

I had met Chihiro. She changed me, thoroughly and completely.

I smiled to myself and laughed once. I was so different now. He would notice the difference in me as soon as he opened the door. Why did I need to prove myself any further?

Eager now, I took off west. When I came to the bridge of the bath house, I jumped off the edge. I changed into my dragon form, scaled flying from me as I morphed. Though I had no idea what I would say, I flew quickly. The closer I got, the more confident I became.

By the time I had gotten to his remote cabin, I had convinced myself to try and become friends with him. But when I got there, my impression of what he was had changed.

The island he lived on had become over grown with trees and wild weeds. The cabin itself was now decrepit, vines running up, down, and through it.

Is he even still here? I thought. My confidence vanished.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It made a hollow, rotten sound. I put my head close to the door and listened for any sign of life.

After a moment, I heard footsteps inside and stepped back from the door.

It opened slowly, sluggishly, and I saw Rokuto for the first time in almost a decade.

He was pale, and his back hunched over in depression. His eyes looked dead, and his face ragged. He was a completely different person. A guilty lump rose in my throat.

"Hello," he said in a dull monotone.

"Hi, Rokuto?" I said.

"Yes," he replied. "What can I do for yo-," he cut off and his eye's widened in recognition.

I nodded at him. "Yes, it's me."

"Why. . . how. . . ?" Rokuto was at a loss for words.

"I know it's hard to believe, but I've come here to. . . apologize. I know that what I did to your family truly traumatized you, and I want you to know that I. . .," I swallowed, "I'm. . . deeply sorry."

Rokuto just stared in shock.

"I will account for my action. Whatever price you might demand, I'll pay it."

He still didn't move.

"Roku-," I started to say. But he cut me off.

"You! You're that one who came looking for the information!"

"At the time, I didn't know what I was looking for. I was going through a bad time and-," I was cut off again, but this time, by a blow to the face.

He had punched my jaw with a force of a ton of lead. I fell to the ground, completely mystified.

I had never thought he would hit me. Not that I didn't deserve it, but I didn't think he would be this angry.

I lie on the ground, not quite able to move. Rokuto loomed over me.

"You. . . you'll never see the light of day again!" he said and raised his fist again.

"No, wait, Rokuto-," I managed to say. But then it all went black.

PSYCO: I always give my characters a hard time XD. But for real, he's in trouble. But what's gonna happen to him?

Oh, ooooh ho ho now I'm eager to write!

Yea, I know this wasn't my best chapter. It was very off. I had been struggleing with this for months and I still couldn't get it out right.

And from now on it'll mostly be Chihiro's POV. Haku will be. . . lets just say, tied up, for a while. * hint, hint* * wink, wink* * nudge, nudge*

Now the apology.

Okay, I know I have a lot of explaining to do. I'm so, so, SOOOO sry I havn't been writing lately. I have very little time to do so nowadays. I have stuff everyday after school, A+ tutoring, foreign languages to study and oral reports due! 0.o HELP MEEEEE!

Haku: Why do I have to be the one to go through the bad stuff?

PSYCO: because you're the love interest, thats why! Not that I dont' totally luv you, but thats just how fanfiction goes, my friend.

Haku: * sigh*

Chihiro: Don't worry, it's just a fanfiction, Haku :)

PSYCO: you're DARN RIGHT ITS A FANFICTION!

Okay, so I KNOW I've been getting new readers, and I want to thank them. Hell, I wanna thank ALL my readers! It really means a lot that you guys like to read my stuff! I want to thank you personally, so if ur new, please tell me in reviews!

Plus I want to put u on my list of SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME fans :D

yes I have one of those... STOP JUDGING! 0.o

heh... they dont call me PSYCO for nuthin!

anyway, that's it :) PEACE AND COOKIE ( : : )

oops, I forgot the disclaimer... NO I didn't!