That time Light first saw Kira, he'd almost lost it.

It was night, or rather, three in the morning. L was seated by the head of the bed, nibbling on the edge of his thumb as he stared boredly into the darkness. Light was on the bed beside him. The teen was curled up on his side and faced away from the detective, fast asleep. The only sounds that can be heard from him are a series of low, soft, rhythmic breathing. Admittedly, that was making the insomniac slightly drowsier than usual. The low glow of the moon speared through the windows by the bed, illuminating the metal chain laid upon the covers. One end of it had disappeared beneath the covers on Light's side while the other end is attached to L on a cuff. It was decision made by L when Light came out of his confinement two days ago.

In the end, L wasn't able to connect Kira's killings that had started up again to his number one suspect all because Light had lost his memories thirty-nine days ago. The event occurred in just a few seconds. The transition had been undetectable but the change in Light before and after the loss had been glaringly obvious.

He was watching Light as usual while he enjoyed a piece of chocolate fudge cake. It was clear that the endurance that the teen put on at the start was beginning to crumble away. He was lying sprawled across the concrete floor instead of sitting in his usual spot, his brown hair that became matted from having not washed it properly hid his expression as he lay there quietly. Despite his efforts, L knew that his reactions were harder to control as his stamina wears away. The differing pattern in his breathing were telling, where it speeds up and became more erratic at some point, before he made a conscious effort to calm down.

L played with the spoon, flicking it up and down with his teeth as he stared.

Five minutes later, Light asked about the state of Kira killings outside. He had been asking about it around the same time everyday while he was confined. The killings had stopped, he said. They had stopped for a while and that only increased Light's chance of being Kira. Light made a huffing noise that sounded like a chuckle and went silent.

He recalled that the conversation continued with him commenting on Light's disheveled appearance. He mentioned that he hadn't looked very good. Frankly, he had looked like he was about to pass out, judging from how lethargic he had become. He looked awful, or was supposed to.

What L didn't state was that wonderment that Light had managed to keep his attractiveness about him even in this situation, stuck in an almost featureless cell, wearing ratty clothes and probably harboring the stale smell of not having showered. The thought was unbidden and unwelcome so L left it at that, dropping it in a box in his brain labeled 'things to be discarded later'.

The strangest thing happened in what Light said next, about the awful situation he is afflicted with and comparing it to the importance of his innocence. Light had mentioned that to protect his innocence, he must throw away his pride. L felt that the sentence 'get rid of it' held some sort of significance, as Light had raised his head and stared at the camera with an intensity in his eyes not unlike blazing fire while he stated that.

Before L could even begin to discern what that might be about, Light's body had suddenly went limp and his head hit the floor with a 'thud'. L stared at him, puzzled and slightly stunned. He thought that he might have finally reached his limit and passed out.

The detective was about to ask Watari to go check on him when the teen suddenly shot up like someone rudely woken from a nightmare.

What happened next was something that was unexplainable, even to himself.

Looking upon Light Yagami's face in the next moments is like looking into the face of someone who is not him. There weren't any changes, not physically but at that moment, the teen had looked so different from the Light he knew that for a few seconds, L wasn't sure that he was even looking at the same person. Also, there was a sort of innocence that seemed absent in him before.

Not that he hadn't been, or rather, hadn't pretended to be innocent. L had been able to tell that Light's behavior before had all been an act, a façade that he put up for the sake of others. But this, the teen hadn't even begun to do anything, L was able to tell from looking at him alone.

That was not the only thing that changed. The detective was unsure whether anyone else had noticed that his irises seemed to take on a lighter shade of color, looking more amber and gold than the dark brown that he usually saw.

Even the tone of his voice had changed, when he spoke, his voice sounded gentler, softer and extremely confused.

That was how L had immediately came to the conclusion that Light had lost his memories.

While the others scrambled over the change in development, L had mostly ignored what happened next. What is the point, when Kira had already slipped out of his grasp?

Now he had kept his prime suspect chained to him, to observe him. It was also as a precaution, in case Kira would return. Based on the observable difference between Light and Kira, he would be able to tell immediately when that happens. However, L speculated that the time that Kira returns might be the time that his plan have already taken effect, which meant that his life would be at the mercy of the mass murderer.

This is the only logical action. L will have to keep watching him closely and figure out what plan Light had put in place, before it's too late. Even if he knew the fact that Light is Kira is true, no one else on the Task Force would believe him unless he provides them with solid prove, bewitched as they are.

L felt a sharp pain on his thumb and winced, plucking the abused appendage out of his mouth and inspecting it. The skin wasn't broken, which is good, but he supposed he should stop gnawing on it whenever he gets frustrated or anxious before that actually happens.

He turned to peer at the youth, whose soft breathing barely disturbed the air. L noticed that whenever he exhaled, his breaths escaped his lips in the form of little puffs, an amusing aspect that he had discovered while Light was still in confinement.

As the teen entered the next stage of his sleep, he began to twitch and mumble incoherently, a behavior that L had not seen at all before Light has lost his memories, even before his confinement. After that, it became a regular occurrence, a normal event in Light's sleep cycles.

This observation makes it undeniably unsettling, as if the previous Light had control over his own actions even as he sleeps, when such a thing is not supposed to be possible.

L continued to stare at the youth, wondering what dreams he might be having, for Light's thoughts are unpredictable, according to the detective.

Just like no one else.


Light found himself sitting at the desk in his room, staring at an open notebook.

He blinked, confused, for the last thing he'd remembered was… nothing. He knew that his name is Light Yagami, knew that he's seventeen years old, a freshman at To-oh University and is studying Law and Psychology there. He also knew that he met a strange boy in his class called Ryuuzaki and Kira is the most dangerous mass murderer in the history of mankind.

What he didn't know was what he had done prior to this very moment or why does it feel like he was not supposed to be here.

Light looked around his room, his eyes settling on the familiar gray curtains, the green bookshelves containing all his novels and study materials, the doors leading to his balcony and the ridiculous pink bunny plush that his sister had gotten for his last birthday as a joke.

He had put it in the closet where it would never see the light of day but Sayu made it a point to keep pulling it out and placing it right at the head of the bed. It happened too many times that he just didn't bother anymore, leaving it in plain sight for all to see.

Speaking of which…

His gaze returned to the notebook on his desk, the open pages blank. It might belong to Sayu, since she occasionally comes to his room to ask for help in her studies, other than messing around with that stupid bunny. Light never recalled owning a notebook like this, it was too thin for taking notes. The notebooks he usually used are not this big either, they are merely A5-sized books, or he would use papers instead.

Light curiously flipped through the book and was greeted by numerous blank pages, having been untouched. The book cover is solid black in color, blank as well; the back is the same. Light wondered what he was doing with this entirely featureless notebook and where it had come from.

He started to doubt that it was Sayu's as she shows a prominent dislike for having black objects in her possessions. Her belongings are always full of color, she wouldn't want to own something like this.

Light was puzzled and thought that it might be better to ask his family about that, in case it belongs to any of them or that they know something about this.

With his mind made up, Light stood and turned to walk out of the room, only to stumble backwards as he gasped.

Standing across him is a man, Light had not seen him there before or hear his door open.

The teen scrambled to grab a penknife from his table and pointed it at him, only to falter when he noticed something really strange.

For a second he thought he was looking into a mirror but dismissed that immediately, for the man had looked almost entirely identical to him except for a few distinguishing features.

His hair was cut and styled similarly to Light's, right down to the soft and silky quality of each strand of hair that he naturally possessed. Instead of the golden brown that Light has, the man's hair is colored dark red, like blood. His skin is paler than Light's, almost resembling L instead. His eyes were red just like his hair, sending a chill through Light when he noticed that they seemed to glow as he stared at him.

The man wore the same clothes as he did, a white collared shirt and brown trousers, Light's graduation gift from his father on his wrist.

He stared at Light impassively, while the other gaped at him, before his lips twisted into a smile, one that is cruel and crooked and not like anything he has seen before.

It snapped Light out of his trance and he raised the knife again, demanding, "Who the hell are you?"

The man just smiled silently, the seconds ticking pass and making Light more and more frightened by the second.

He began to back away and that was when the man moved, charging at him in a blur and causing him to crash into the desk with a pained yell. The penknife fell out of his hands and the man took it with his pale, crooked fingers.

His eyes gleamed as he raised the blade high in the air and plunged down into Light's throat.


L sat watching as Light began to thrash in his sleep, panicked cries and whimpers slipping out of his lips before he jerked awake, his bound hand flying to his neck, causing the chain to jingle loudly in the darkness of the room.

Harsh breathing filled the air as Light attempted to calm down, his hand slowly moving to grab the covers while his chest rose and fall rapidly. Slowly, he turned to look at L, seeming to be unsurprised to find the detective perching by his side, staring at him.

"A nightmare, Light-kun?" L questioned, tilting his head in a manner he knew annoyed the teen.

"None of your business," he said groggily, his voice losing the bite that it is usually directed at him during the day. Light proceeded to turn away from him and tried to go back to sleep.

L still detect a certain tension in his shoulder that could possibly be caused by himself or the dream that Light obviously had earlier. He wondered what he had dreamt about that caused such a reaction in him, like someone had attacked him and was about to tear out his neck.

The silence dragged on and L slowly returned to his original position, staring into the blackness of the room as he waited for the time to pass.

He supposed he brought the boredom onto himself, since he was generous enough to stop working while Light is sleeping as the glow from the laptop and the typing noise disturbs him and impede his brain from functioning at its usual capacity during the day.

It's tough being the nice guy.

Sometimes.


The next day found Light sitting at his computer, skimming through articles reporting deaths that might have a connection to Kira since the time he was confined.

The killings have begun in the middle of it after it died down. While the heart attacks were clearly Kira's doing, the amount of deaths that had occurred are less numerous than usual. Most of the victims are still criminals but Light begin to notice that some of them are businessmen. He delved deeper into the issue and discovered that these men are corrupt and have cases of fraud or have embezzled money from their company in the past.

He supposed that wasn't really a deviation from Kira's usual behavior but the fact that they consisted of mostly businessmen is a cause for suspicion.

As Light compiled the list of people killed, L sat next to him staring boredly his own screen and munching on some fresh cherries.

The teen found himself glaring at L in disgust as the detective dipped the fruits that were perfectly good for eating on their own into a bowl of cream that had sugar mixed into them, bringing it to his mouth to suck on the cream for a bit before eating the cherries whole.

Light tore his eyes off of him and went back to his work, before his mind slowly began to wander, going over the events that happened recently.

Those that stuck out prominently are his period of confinement, the dismay and fear that suddenly appeared in the midst of it when he knew that he can't be Kira, no matter how much the evidence had pointed to him.

It's just… not right.

What he remembered the most though, was not this.

The memory that stuck out the most was the one of his father, busting both he and Misa out before throwing them into the car and driving off like a mad man.

He could vividly recall the choking fear and panic that enveloped him as the car shot off onto the road, as his father revealed that L had decided that he is Kira and was going to execute him through Interpol. Initially he had thought his father was trying to help him on the basis that he wasn't Kira, for him to survive and clear his name by finding the real culprit.

But no, that wasn't the case at all.

Soichiro had taken them out instead to kill him with his own hands out of shame and despair more than anything. He tried everything he could, to get his dad to come around because he really isn't Kira, that it was all a mistake. He can't deal with this injustice.

Of course, his father did not listen and pointed the gun at his head.

Light can still picture clearly in his head his dad's grim and ragged face as he solemnly uttered, "See you in hell."

After that, he couldn't decide whether to straight up pass out or purge all the built up fear and tension in his body by throwing up. In the end, he just sat, frozen, as his father drove them back to the building after it was revealed that it was all a plan by L to determine whether he was Kira, based on whether he would kill his father to save his own skin.

He couldn't forget the anger that he felt at the detective afterwards at causing him such fear and trauma that might plague him for his entire life.

Frankly, he's still pissed about it.

Light didn't think that he would be able to look at a gun in the same way ever again.

A sucking noise broke his train of thought and he turned to peer at the source of it, his head resting upon his hand as he stared at L with lazy spite as he licked the sugar-clad cherry before popping it into his mouth.

L flicked the remaining stalk into another bowl and picked up the next stalk of cherries, covering them with a generous coat of cream and proceeded to suck at it.

At some point, he noticed Light staring and glanced over at him, his tongue sticking out mid-lick.

Light realized what he was doing and turned away immediately, pretending to resume his work and hoped that L wouldn't be up to any funny business.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

While he wasn't looking, L stuck both cherries in his mouth and chewed on them noisily, letting out hums of appreciation loud enough only for Light to hear. He knew Light was easily annoyed and wasn't surprised to find him glancing back at him with narrowed eyes.

The detective tossed the stalks into his spare bowl and picked out another one, dipping it in the cream and began licking at it suggestively.

He noticed Light's eyes widening marginally at this inappropriate gesture in mortification, only to be distracted by Matsuda appearing next to him.

L stopped playing after that, stuffing the cherry in his mouth, including the stalk, while Matsuda offered Light his coffee.

"Are you alright?" He asked Light, who had looked distracted as he placed his mug carefully by the computer after thanking the man.

"I'm fine," Light smiled and L felt an irritation rise in him at the man who seemed to be more emotionally perceptive than he had let on as he looked like he didn't believe his words.

Maybe this is why people began to place more importance on EQ rather than just IQ, L supposed Matsuda could be useful for one thing rather than another, something to note down for the future.

Matsuda didn't mention anything as he smiled back in the most friendly manner, "Alright then, you can always ask me if you need help, Light-kun."

The teen nodded silently, letting out a soft breath as the other man walked away.

Light decided to himself that he should ignore the detective from now on, just to keep a hold on his temper as well as his already fraying sanity from the living absurdity beside him.

It was hardly a minute later when he heard his name being called by the ridiculous man.

Light paid no heed to it as he tried to focus, switching between the websites, reports and his own list that is slowly growing with Kira's kill count.

"Light-kun," that voice came again, settling on his ears like persistent fingers.

The brunette faltered in his work, before gathering his focus to retype the name correctly.

It shattered completely when L called him the again, more insistently until he took a deep breath and turned to him with a blandly uttered, "What."

"Hold out your hand," L said simply.

"What?" Confusion took over his features at what was asked of him.

"Hold out your hand, Light-kun."

The teen was suspicious, but curiosity still won out as he did as the detective asked.

L proceeded to drop something red in his open palm and it took Light a moment before he saw clearly what it was.

A knotted cherry stalk.

With Light's vision, it was easy to see the moisture that still clung to the red stem while it laid in his hand, the feeling of it were sticky and damp and most decidedly gross while the slimy spit began to pool in his hand.

The teen flicked it away with a yelp, attracting the attention of his father who looked up in surprise.

L's eyes followed the path of the cherry stalk in wonderment as it sailed through the air, before landing quite impressively in Aizawa's cup of coffee with barely a splash. The oblivious owner of the mug was across the room at that point in time, having a quiet discussion with Mogi.

"Wow," L uttered that at the same time that Light shrieked his name.

The reclusive man turned to him while teen continued, horrified "What'd you do that for?!"

"Did Light-kun not like his present?" L questioned, having little effort at appearing confused, "I made it specially for you."

Light looked as if he was about to implode on himself at the moment, feeding into his amusement, "Like? That was gross!"

"But I tied it using just my tongue."

"That doesn't mean that it wasn't disgusting!" Light snapped, "Not everything that comes from you is amazing, you demented freak!"

"Light!" Soichiro reprimanded him on his choice of word.

L secretly laughed to himself as Light's face flushed in shame as he retreated sullenly to his work.

He shot a glare at L where his father won't see it as the detective picked up another cherry and returned to his daily snacking with contentment.

It wasn't long before Aizawa, who was still oblivious of the happenings returned to his desk and sat down with a sigh. Light glanced over at him as he took a sip of his coffee and started when he discovered the cherry stalk floating in the middle of his drink.

Light pretended he didn't know anything about it when the man turned to L, who sat eating his cherry like nothing happened.


The brunette was deep in his work when a knock startled him out of it, it was as if the sound had came right next to his ear.

Light blinked at the open notebook in front of him, the blank pages now filled with lines of indiscernible scribbles. He was confused, wondering when he had begun to use the book. If he did, it probably didn't belong to any of his family members.

He wondered what he was doing, having forgotten about it despite the intense focus he had just a moment earlier. His computer is on, the screen showing a series of pictures attached to blurry words. The only thing that stuck out to him is the time on the toolbar, showing 23:51 in white.

Light squinted at the words but it didn't appear any clearer. He was about to check his settings when the knock came again from his bedroom door.

He minimized the window and stood with a long suffering sigh, thinking that Sayu might've come to disturb him because she couldn't sleep.

Light half-flung open his door, intending to dismiss her when he was greeted with a dark and empty hallway.

He was puzzled, as he looked left and right but found no one. He wondered if he was imagining it, or Sayu might be pranking him.

Light stepped into the hallway, the lights were all off and navigating in the dark would be hard if he were not an occupant of the house.

He crept over to Sayu's room, opening the door and finding his sister asleep.

He thought that she might still be tricking him and walked in, touching her cellphone that was left on the nightstand. It was cool, so she had not been awake recently, since his sister had a tendency of using it when she can't sleep.

Light was bewildered and went to check his parent's room, finding his mother asleep as well.

When he found nothing on the second story, he decided to return to his room and investigate the notebook when a distant knock sounded from the front door.

He paused, glancing quizzically into the darkness of the first floor.

He looked about another time, seeing if that woke anyone up. The lights were off as his family kept sleeping and the rapping sound came again, just a little louder this time.

Light sighed when he resigned to his fate that he had to be the one to open the door. He started down the stairs as the knock quickly turned into a continuous thud-thud-thud.

He threw a hand out to the doorknob in annoyance when the knocking abruptly stopped.

Light froze as well, his hand hovering in the cool air. A chill begin to permeate his chest when he had a feeling that the person on the other side of the door knew that he was about to open it, without him answering the knock or turning the lights on at all. There wouldn't even be a shadow for them to see at all.

Light slowly lowered his hand, staring at the doorknob cautiously as he took a tentative step back.

The next thought that passed through his head is how ridiculous that is.

But, just in case, Light stepped forward to look through the eyehole to see who was there.

All that he see was, however, darkness.

The lights were all off, literally. The porch lights that usually glowed yellow throughout the night were all off, the lights by the fence gates were off as well, when they were supposed to be on like the porch lights. The most peculiar were the street lights, they were the ones that were most definitely supposed to be on. Instead, all he saw were darkness, even the clouds were obscuring the brightness of the moon.

Still, Light was able to see the indistinct shape of a person standing at the front door, patiently waiting.

He had a bad feeling about this, as the figure was still, as if knowing that eventually, he would be let in.

Light took a deep breath and asked in a voice that could be picked up from the other side of the door.

"Who is it?" He asked.

Suddenly, the wind picked up as the bushes begin to rustle, the clouds begin to move across the sky, revealing the dull glow of the moon that illuminated the dark red of the person's hair, his pale skin and the chilling eyes.

Light gaped in terror as a smile spread across his face as the red eyes focused at him through the eyehole. The lights that were off began to flicker, giving him a horrifying display of the smirking face and the glowing eyes.

"It's just you," he said quietly, his voice a replica of a lower, darker and more sinister version of his own voice.

The door suddenly flung open, causing Light to stumble and fall over from the force.

Fright gripped him as the man stood smiling at him, beginning to walk into the house.

Light scrambled away on the floor, his pounding heart struck with every thud that the man's sneaker made as he stepped closer and closer towards him.

His eyes were full of glee as he laughed scornfully, "Oh, it's just you, Light…"

Light clamped his hands over his ears, shutting his eyes as the words echoed in his mind in dark whispers.

It's just you.

It's just you.

Just you.


L's eyes jumped over to Light as he twitched violently, his panicked breaths filling the air in a suddenness that L was unfamiliar with.

It was strange, as the teen didn't show any signs of dreaming until this moment when he awoke.

L watched curiously while Light clutched onto the covers until his knuckles turned white, a startling contrast to the rest of his skin. He was shivering as well, as he tried to slow his breathing.

Light sighed when he achieved a certain level of calm, turning to face L who he already knew was watching him blatantly from the same spot as yesterday.

"Another nightmare, Light-kun?"

The teen sat up slowly, raising his hand to wipe the sweat that had apparently gathered on his brow. He let a shaky breath as he answered, "Yeah."

L stared at him harder after that at the unexpected answer.

Light thought back to his dream, the red-haired man that looked exactly like him, the glowing red eyes and the chilling smile. An uneasiness crawled across his skin and Light felt dizzy with apprehension when he recalled he had a similar dream with the same man with the same frightful smile.

A gasp escaped him as he abruptly stated, "Ryuuzaki, bathroom."

L sighed as he hopped off the bed and let the teen lead him to the connecting bathroom. He waited as the door was swung closed as far as it could go before the chain stopped it. He heard the tap turn on and leaned against the wall as Light splashed his face with water.

The detective jumped when a sharp scream tore out of the room, prompting him to open the door and rush in.

What he saw was Light standing before the mirror, frozen in terror as he stared at his own reflection.

L blinked and glanced over at it, seeing nothing but Light's stricken face and his own puzzled expression.

"Light-kun?"

The brunette didn't notice him as he kept staring, mouth open as he took a step back and stumbled. Again, L peered at the mirror and still saw nothing.

"Light-kun?" He called in a louder voice, worried when he still didn't respond.

L touched his arm cautiously and he jumped, his wide eyes flickered over to him.

"Are you alright?"

Light began to shake his head, then decided against it as he eyes flew back to the mirror, seeming to regard something, "I-it's nothing." An embarrassed smile was put on as he uttered, "I must've been really tired, I'm seeing things."

He gave a little laugh and L was nothing but unconvinced while Light muttered, "It's nothing, I'm going back to bed."

L cast a final glance at the mirror, before following Light out of the bathroom.

What he didn't hear was a low laughter that came from it, as a certain red-haired man with a wicked gleam in his eyes watched them leave, seen only by Light and no one else.

When the lights were turned off, there was nothing but two pinpoints of glowing red that were its eyes. The laughter echoed about the room, fading as the glow slowly disappeared.


Edited: 29/10/17

A/N: ... (falls asleep)