A/N: Hey first of all, a big thank you to reviewers. Yeah, it doesn't seem like alot compared to other stories, but it really got me going again! So thank yous. For those of you who haven't noticed, I changed the rating for this story. It's rated M now because i realized i swore too much...Hey she's a thief, leave her alone. So yeah, and these chapters are getting longer everytime! Go me!

Warning: Slight lemon. Not really. Just warning you. Uh, more like...heated interactions between two women?

Disclaimer: Will never own Naruto.


Chapter 4: Beginning.

So dark… Where the hell am I? I can't see anything… I can't feel my body or anything else for that matter.

Voices. I don't know what they're saying but they sound excited.

I cracked open my eyes, just to close it again due to the unfamiliar light. I'm not sure but I think someone's hugging me. I don't feel anything at all… My whole body is numb.

"…Doctor! She woke up!" That was a man's voice. It sounded familiar. It sounds like Kankurou, or maybe its Shikamaru…Wait. Did he say doctor? What the…am I in a hospital? What am I doing here?

I suddenly remembered what happened last night. The Phantom and I battled on the rooftops before I passed out. The last thing I remember were a pair of eyes. Very familiar eyes… but I… can't seem to remember where I've seen them. Damn it! This is hurting my head. The Phantom…I hate that bastard. He seemed to mock me indirectly every time.

I slowly opened my eyes one more time. White ceilings and a pair of deep green eyes just like mine.

"Kankurou?" I squeaked. My voice sounded weird and unfamiliar to me. I hadn't said anything in a long time. I was close to forgetting what my voice even sounded like.

"Finally! You've been out for three days! The doctor should be here any minute to check on you," he said smiling at me.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah, Gaara just left a couple hours ago. Both of us had stayed up with you, you know! Totally neglecting our lovers, so if they decide to leave it'll be your fault."

"Sorry." I knew he was just teasing me but it could happen.

"Don't worry, Lee and Tayuya doesn't mind. They're worried about you too, or else you wouldn't be the number one topic of our conversations."

"Heh thanks. By the way, who brought me here?"

"Shikamaru. He told everyone you were mugged. Attacked and nearly raped. That would make sense with the cuts and the ripped clothes…so don't worry about it. The attackers 'fled' he said.

"Gaara and I know what you were up to, Temari. Shika didn't say anything but it was obvious. The Phantom was all over the papers. As far as I know, you're not someone who would let this guy go without a fight. Guess this guy's no novice huh? In case you're wondering, Shika only found your body, but there was a lot of blood at the scene. Your puddle wasn't the only one. This means he passed out after you did, but he was dragged away, he said. It can't be the cops so it looks like you and Shika aren't the only team in town."

I didn't say anything, thinking over what Kankurou had just said. That must be how he knows my targets…that makes sense…

"Where's Shikamaru?" I needed answers, and he seemed to be the only one who knew them.

"He's been working on a new case lately, so he's busy."

"Tell him to come here once he's free. I need to talk to him."

"Alright."

The doctor came in with a nurse behind her. Holy shit, she has the biggest breasts I've ever seen! …Not that I'm looking of course. She was tall, with long blonde hair and a weird sticker-looking thing on her forehead.

"Ah, finally up I see. I'm just going to do a quick check-up on you to start off."

After about ten minutes of that, the doctor stopped and smiled at me.

"…But it looks like you're in stable condition. You're lucky none of these cuts are too deep. It seems you got away with just a broken arm, some cuts, and a couple of bruises. If you need anything, just call either me or Shizune," She explained, gesturing towards the nurse behind her. That was the only part I bothered to pay attention to since I don't really care about the rest.

I merely nodded as the doctor left. The nurse approached me, whispering, "If you need anything, just call me. If I were you, I'd only call Tsunade-san if there's a big emergency." I just shrugged.

"Well then," Kankurou suddenly said, getting up from his chair, "I can go now knowing my baby sister's in good hands."

"Thanks big brother, I didn't know you cared," I said sarcastically with a roll of my eyes. "More than you'll ever know," he laughed as he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.

I napped for an hour or two, still feeling the fatigue of that rooftop battle. Dodging all those weapons must've made me land on my arm and break it in the process. Whatever it was, I sure hadn't noticed it. I was still numb, but my senses were coming back to me.

When I woke up it was still evening. After getting some food and a coffee in the cafeteria, I made my way out to the garden. Moving around was easy since it was only my arm that had been broken. However, it was a bit uncomfortable with the cast and various bandages here and there. I bumped into Shizune, who was on her break. We walked to the garden together, coffees in hand.

"So…what's your relationship with Tsunade-san? You seem to know her quite well," I inquired, attempting to make conversation.

"Eh? She's j-just my mentor and my boss," she said staring at the ground. She suddenly became shy at the mention of her boss.

"I see."

"Let's sit down over there," she said pointing to a bench facing the garden. A lot of other patients were here as well, some were with family and friends, and others were alone.

"Tsunade-san is one of the most skilled and well-known doctor in the country. I had the privilege of becoming her apprentice after my uncle had died. Tsunade-san and him were lovers, and she just couldn't turn down his offer. I could tell she didn't like the idea of an apprentice, but I tried my hardest to make her happy. I could've been a doctor, but I didn't want to be working with her, just alongside her. But the one thing I know is that, if I hadn't been there for her since my uncle's death, I wouldn't know where either of us would be. Shortly after she took me in, she left the city. No matter how many times she protested, I left with her. We lived on a farm near a small village for a couple of years. The village was where she mostly taught me, as there was only one doctor there, we helped out as well."

I merely nodded as I listened. Her story wasn't something I can relate to, or even understand. But it sounded beautiful to me.

"I can't deny anymore that I love her. But with our age differences, I doubt it will ever be requited."

"Age difference? She can't be more than ten years older than you…"

"Uh, about twenty years actually. She's fifty-two." I swear to god, I almost fell off my seat. A sudden pain jolted through my arm at the sudden movements. No matter how you look at it, she doesn't look that old. She had no grey hairs from what I could see, and her skin was absolutely flawless.

"Don't hurt yourself," she laughed, gently soothing out my arm, "I was pretty shocked too. A bit disappointed but oh well."

"But you've given up so much for her. Why not just tell her how you feel?"

"No, you don't understand. It's because I've given up so much that I can't risk losing it all. I can't risk losing her as a friend. I'm fine with what I have now."

"No you're not. Humans are never satisfied with what they have. Especially if there is something you obviously want right in front of you. She's not married now is she?"

"No, she hasn't had a lover since my uncle."

"Then do it. Tell her."

"I'm not sure you understand my position here…"

"Sorry, I just can't stand watching someone not being able to love just because of some stupid obstacles. But hey, what do I know? I'm still young." That's a fine load of bullshit I made up there… I don't even know if I'll ever have the chance to jump those obstacles. She sighed, stretching out her legs.

"Let's go back in, it's getting dark. Oh, and I only told you all that because I feel I can trust you. Please don't tell anyone else." I nodded, just noticing the darkening sky.

The hospital was still busy when I came back in. Doctors and nurses ran from one room to another, calling one another or just conversing in long words that no one understands. It got quieter as I went further into the hospital back to my room. By this time, Shizune had already left so I was very much alone. I took my time getting back, just looking through the windows of the other rooms. Most of the patients were in far worse shape than me. There were people from all ages, from newborn infants in their incubators to old seniors waiting to drop dead any second. Aside from the happy new parents in this place, it was all pretty sad. It is a hospital after all…

I passed by a particular room where I saw a small brunette sitting on her bed. She seemed somehow familiar…I stood by the window, examining her closely. Oh! She's the one…that was at the party! She's the brunette who knocked me over and stole Ino's clothes. She looked beaten up pretty badly too with bandages wrapped around her arms from what I can see, kind of like mines where I had been cut. She had a lot of cuts on her face as well. No wonder I didn't recognize her.

The brunette was sitting up, talking to a man beside her, a tall silver-haired man with an eye patch. He looked to be in his late twenties. Weird, visiting hours should be over by now. I waited for a while for a nurse to come by to shoo him away. I don't know why but I just felt like I should.

Sure enough, a couple minutes later, a small chubby nurse came by here and went inside after telling me to go back to my room. Of course, I didn't. Once I turned my attention back to the room, I realized the man was gone. The brunette was sitting up, holding a novel. The window was open.

Three words: Something's not right. I bet you all thought it was: What the fuck? Anyway, I suppose I should get Shika to do a bit of a background check. First I need to know the brunettes name. But perhaps he will know who the man was. His appearance is pretty distinctive.

I felt someone shaking me lightly, muttering something. I slowly opened my eyes, the sun temporarily blinding me. The shaking stopped as my vision cleared. Lazy brown eyes stared at me, obviously irritated.

"Finally. I have to make this quick, I have to get back to the station."

"Oh, is that how you greet a friend that's been injured and out for three days, Shikamaru," I mumbled sarcastically while sitting up.

"We can't talk here, come with me," the man muttered, helping me out of the bed. I just followed behind, still half asleep.

We made our way to the garden, which was almost empty except for some early risers and people doing Tai Chi. Which means there wasn't a lot of people. I yawned and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as he pulled me towards the side of the garden next to a neat patch of petunias.

"So, I bet you have some questions for me," he said lazily, sitting down on a bench. I got right to the point as my need for answers came back to me, "Yeah. First, no one else saw us besides you right?"
"Us? Nope, I only saw you. I saw you on the radar as soon as I got home. There was another person with you, but neither of you were moving, so I went to check on you. By the time I got there, the other body was gone besides the pool of blood they left behind. It was the Phantom wasn't it?"

"Who else? Kankurou said the body was dragged away right? Do you have any idea who's helping the Phantom?"

"It could be anyone really. We'll need something to start with before we start counting suspects."

"Hm… were there anything left behind on the rooftop?"

"Actually yeah. I thought you might ask, so I brought it along to show you." Shikamaru pulled out a light blue opaque baggie. I looked around to make sure no one was watching us before taking it from him. I stared at the item inside the bag. I had a feeling they would leave this behind. I looked at Shika, who stared right back at me.

"I found it in a shadowed corner. It must've blended in," he explained.

It was the black mask that I had managed to get off before we both passed out. It was bloodied a bit with little rips in it. No doubt it was his.

Shika sighed, "At least we have a blood sample here."

"Shika," I whispered, giving him back the baggie, "do you think, by any chance, that he might be around here?"

"Probably. There's only one hospital in Konoha. Even if his partner was a doctor, he can't have all the equipment they need."

"I don't know, but I have a feeling I saw him yesterday."

"Really? Well you figure that out, I have to get going." He got up from his chair and was just about to leave before I pulled him back down, feeling a stinging pain shoot through my arm.

"Wait, I have one more question," I said, "do you know anyone with silver hair and an eye-patch? About six feet tall?"

"Eeh? You know him? He's the one my boss has been tracking for years. Sometimes he sends us out to investigate him. From what I know, his name is Hatake Kakashi. He's the leader of a small but treacherous yakuza (1) group called the Akatsuki. Most the members' identities are unknown. Umino-san's only lead is Kakashi."

"Yakuza eh? Interesting…"

The morning passed quietly, with the brunette plaguing my thoughts. I looked for her unconsciously. I even came up with the idea of her being some master of disguise, making me suspect everyone I see. God, I swear, this Phantom thing is gonna wound up with me in the loony bin. The brunette really bothered me right now. Why on earth would she have a yakuza visiting her in the middle of the night?

I sat in my room quietly reading a book Shika had left me before he left so I wouldn't be bored. Shizune came in and told me I had another visitor. I just nodded, going back to my book. Great, I wonder who it could be. I had expected my little brother, whom I have yet to see. But unfortunately, it wasn't.

"Hey, you! Look who's finally up!" said a perky voice at the end of my bed. Oh great. Abso-fucking-lutely wonderful. I raised an eyebrow at the blonde photographer who was smiling widely at me.

I saw the basket she had brought with her. It couldn't have been a fruit basket as it just wasn't her style. "What's in there?" I inquired pointing at the basket.

"Ah, lunch! Some tako-san wieners (2) I made I put in some onigiri (3) to go along with it as well," she said, her grin still plastered on her face. I looked at her skeptically. Knowing her, it couldn't be something as simple as wieners.

"Alright spill! What else is in there?"

She giggled, "Ah, you caught me. I have a couple Playboy mags for you as well as a little cake from Hinata."

I sighed, Playboy magazines…how Ino-like.

"Gee, how thoughtful Ino. How did you know I loved staring at naked women while sitting here in a hospital?"

"Because I know all women are secretly gay for me. So I'm just starting you off."

"Right." "Hey they have articles and stuff to you know (4). Unfortunately, it's not all about naked women. I brought you a couple of my favourites. I want them back though okay?"

"I don't want them."

"Temariii! You're so cold! I went through all this trouble for you! I don't care, you're reading them!" She huffed, pouring the basket of magazines onto me. A small sponge cake rolled out onto my stomach as well.

"Oi!" I said, picking up one of them that was by my hand and slapping Ino with it.

"That hurt! And don't wreck them! They're like treasure to me you know!"

"Yeah, yeah. By the way, did you make up with Sakura?" Her smile faded instantly. I had a gut feeling about this but hey, I can't help being curious.

"I haven't seen her since the party."

"You didn't talk to her?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to see her again?"

"Yeah. I miss her a lot. I know we barely know each other. But I would love the chance to. I shouldn't have did what I did that day…"

"Well…how many girls have you slept with since?"

"Uh, one. I thought she'd make me feel less lonely, that's all. It didn't work though. The feel of her just wasn't the same."

"Well you know, I can get you Sakura's number…"

"She gave it to me already at the party. I asked for it saying its consideration for hiring."

"Smart. Why didn't you call her then?"

"I don't want to. I want to find her and talk to her face to face. I don't want to fuck up any more relationships. Even if I never get together with her or she leaves me one day, I doubt I'll go back to those days. I know I'm still young, and it's a good time to play around and all. But feelings are something that should never be played with. I believe I'll find love one day, but that doesn't mean I should ruin that chance for others."

I giggled at her little realization, "That was a tad cheesy. But I bet if you can prove your fidelity to Sakura, she'll be yours in no time."

"Fidelity, huh? That's a big responsibility…"

"Don't think it's worth the risk?"

"That's not true. I'll think about it. It's a big step for me you know." She smiled again as she added, "You sound like you know it all, Temari. But I know you're not exactly good at relationships nowadays."

"Well, I've been busy."

"I'm sure you have. Anyway, I'll handle this on my own. Just worry bout yourself. I gotta go now, got some shoots scheduled. So bye! Take care of yourself, hun." She waved, then skipped out the door and disappeared into the hallways.

Ino's always been the sexy, naughty, bitchy type of girl. But I guess anyone can change with love. I've never understood that, though. I doubt I ever will.

With nothing to do and all alone since Shizune had been called into Tsunade's office, I bought a cup of coffee and went to the lounge. It was empty except for, to my surprise, that brunette I saw yesterday. Her dark brown hair had been put up in two buns unlike the first two times I'd seen her where her hair had been uncombed and wild. She seemed to be carving something out of wood. I took a seat across from her in a comfy armchair. I had brought something along to Shika's novel to read as well. Or it was suppose to be Shika's novel. I groaned, slapping my forehead.

"Wow, you're the first female I've met who likes Playboys," the brunette said nonchalantly from the other side of the coffee table. It was the first time I heard her say anything besides the barely audible apology last time. Her voice was absolutely angelic to my ears. It was a strange thought, since I've never been one to look at girls that way. But she was, if this makes any sense at all, adorably sexy. I looked up at her, but she didn't pay any more attention to me.

"Uh, it's not mine…I just took it by accident," I tried to explain. She just shrugged and continued scratching her piece of wood with a pocketknife. I couldn't tell what she was carving, but it seemed to be a handle of some sort. It had elegant patterns and designs etched into it.

I didn't want this conversation to die that easily. I still had to get her name. I have a nagging feeling that she has connections with the Phantom. But looking at her now, I'm starting to have my doubts. "Hey what are you making?" I asked curiously, taking a sip of my coffee. "It's a dagger," she told me, not looking up. A dagger huh? Interesting…if she can carve something like that out of wood, I bet she can do it with metal too.

"Ah, you like weapons?"

"In a way. I just like making them for fun, nothing lethal though." She still wasn't looking at me. I can't tell if she's scared of me or want me to stop bothering her. Assuming it's the latter, I left her alone and just sat quietly, drinking my coffee. I get bored pretty damn easily so I picked up the magazine. Yeah, I'm pretty desperate for something to do at the moment. I started flipping through the articles when I felt the brunette's eyes on me. When she didn't stopped staring at me, I looked up at her. She quickly looked back down. Raising an eyebrow I asked, "Do you…want to read this too?" I waved the magazine I was holding with my good arm.

"Uh, no thank you," she said. She seemed to be blushing slightly, I couldn't tell. I decided to play around with her just because I'm pretty damn bored.
"Are you sure? There's some pretty hot women in here," I said, showing her a random page."

"No thanks, I don't exactly like staring at naked women in magazines."

"So, you're saying…you'd prefer to see them live?" She blushed a couple shades of red before shaking her head. Her gaze was still fixed onto her block of wood.

"Perhaps," I continued, smiling teasingly at her, "these women are not to your taste. Maybe you'd like someone more like…me?" I laughed as she sat there, finally looking up and gaping at me, obviously not used to my openness. She was blushing as well. I felt like tackling her down and squeezing her until she squeaks. "I'm just kidding, you probably don't swing that way. By the way, my name's Temari." Her body relaxed noticeably back into the loveseat she was currently occupying. Her blush quickly faded as she turned back to her carving.

"Oh, I know. You were the one I landed on back at the party. I heard the blonde calling you before I ran out." She said, once again not looking at me. That was pissing me off. I wanted to see her eyes. I saw them briefly when she looked at me, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to start into them and drown myself in them. No! What am I thinking…? I mean…I want to see how much they looked like the Phantom's. Right.

"Ah, may I ask why you did that?"

She said nothing as she wiggled uncomfortably, mumbling what seemed to be an apology. I guess it's a sensitive topic. I didn't ask about it any further. I was afraid she'd never talk to me again, only because I was afraid I'd never get answers. She has ties with the Phantom I just know it. I have to get closer to her if I'm to ever figure out who he is. Or so I convinced myself.

"Well I have to go. I'll see you around, Temari," she said, getting up from her chair, only to fall right down again. I hadn't noticed before that she had a cast on her leg and a pair of crutches leaning on the edge of the end table that was placed quite a ways from the loveseat. Someone must've left her here by herself, putting her crutches aside.

"Here, let me help you," I said gently, moving over to her side of the coffee table. I moved her crutches so it was within reach. I only had one arm, so I had to move them one at a time. "There you go," I said, pulling her up to lean on one of the crutches. That was the first time I realized how small she was. I was at least a good head taller than her. I held her by her waist as I reached for the other crutch, which had fallen onto the carpeted floors. I bent down to get it, accidentally pulling the girl off balance. I felt her body slipping so I quickly turned around to catch her.

"Eh, this is a bit challenging," I muttered, still holding her. Damn, she was soft. It's so different from guys… If I squeezed her any harder, it was as if she would break. Or explode or something. She was like a teddy bear, something I can hold forever.

"U-um, as comfortable as this is, can you put me back on the couch first?" the suddenly brunette asked quietly. I looked down at her, totally lost in her softness. I muttered a quick apology before helping her onto the loveseat again. This time I held the crutch in my hand. She stood up again using my good arm and her other crutch as support. I handed her back her block of wood and her pocketknife, which she stuffed into the pocket of her hospital gown.

"Thank you," she said with a sheepish smile before making her way out of the lounge. I couldn't help but smile at her retreating back. Man, she was cute, even with the cuts on her fair complexion. I bet Ino would've eaten her up at first glance, well the old Ino anyway. Seeing as there was no point in sitting here alone reading a Playboy, I made my way back to my room as well.

I had just slipped back into my bed when reality decided to crash down on me. I didn't even get her name dammit! Either way, I had completely forgotten that she was somehow connected to the Phantom, I was sure of it. I'm not stupid. I realized I had become completely infatuated back there when helping her up. I don't know what it is about her that makes me want to get to know her. I used to get this feeling a lot back when I was still interested in one-night stands. But you know, playing a game for too long gets boring. I haven't had this feeling since I stopped playing. But it's different this time. You can't describe it. It's just there. Really, I don't believe in love at first sight, so I doubt it's that. It could be…I'm just confusing myself. Besides, she's as much as a female as I am, and I've never even thought about the idea of being a lesbian. Maybe it's just her?

There I go again with my train of thought…dammit this girl is throwing me off. I do have a task at hand while I'm at the hospital. Unfortunately time is running out, as I will be released in a couple of days. I have to at least get her name…and maybe her number or email. To, uh, get to know her better and get info of course. Eh, who the hell am I kidding…it's defiantly a little crush and nothing more. It'll go away soon. It better, cause I have no time to think about anyone else besides the Phantom. He's an obstacle that has to be removed. This town just isn't big enough for the two of us. On the other hand, I could maybe run away with her and live on a remote island… Okay, that's it! I'm stopping this train of thought and going to sleep! Damn Ino and her Playboys.

I felt someone brush their hand over my shoulder and down my arm, waking me from my sleep. I groaned, turning over to see who it was. It was the chestnut-haired girl with her hair in buns like I had seen her earlier today. I started to ask what she was doing here, but she silenced me with a gentle brush of her lips on mine. I shivered at the unusual sensation running through me. Without another word, she pulled me out of my bed. Her crutches were gone, as was her cast. My own cast was gone as well. She led and I followed obediently, half asleep and unaware. She ushered me into the broom closet, following closely. I watched her with half open eyes as she locked the door behind her. She made her way towards me, pushing me into the back wall, knocking a few things over in the process due to the lack of space. She pinned me into the wall with her small body, her hand skimming over my sides. I leaned down to kiss her. She returned it roughly but gently at the same time. The kiss heated up quickly, from a friendly brush to lust-filled devouring. I gasped as I felt her hand move from my side to my stomach, slowly inching upwards. I had definitely lost my senses. Next thing I knew, she'd pinning both my arms above my head with one hand, her other hand still probing. This aggressive brunette and my pulsing libido were driving me off the edge. She kissed her way down my neck, stopping at a particularly sensitive spot. I couldn't suppress my moan as she nipped it gently. She looked up at me briefly, a wicked glint in her eyes. She bit down on the sensitive spot. Hard. My eyes flew open, coming back to reality. Before I could push her off, I felt something stab me in the stomach. I started to scream, but a leather-gloved hand clasped my mouth tightly, drowning out all sounds. Looking up, I saw no longer the small brunette, but the dark Phantom. He stared down at me with brown eyes like the brunette. I was suffocating as he kept his hold on my mouth. I looked down to see what he had stabbed me with. It was the wooden dagger the girl had been carving today…I recognized the hilt. Everything around me started spinning. The only thing I saw after was blood. Lots of blood… my own blood.

My eyes flung wide-open, cold sweat running down my forehead. Oh god, my cast is still here…Good it's just a dream, thank god…No doubt, the girl had something to do with the Phantom. Perhaps my dream was trying to tell me something. I don't know and I dare not think about it. I feel like I'm being watched. She's giving me all these confusing feelings, I can't and I don't even want to try figuring them out. And thanks to her, I've been ranting a lot in my head too, as I'm sure you can tell…

The next few days passed quickly. I'm finally leaving the hospital tomorrow. The brunette seemed to be avoiding me, or maybe that's just my imagination. Hell, I should be the one avoiding her. I can't leave the hospital without at least her name. She was, right now, the closest I can get to unmask the Phantom for real.

I managed to corner her while she was exiting the cafeteria with a sandwich in hand. I walked up behind her. Making sure she doesn't see me, I tapped her on the shoulder. She was so startled she nearly tripped. I caught her just in time with my good arm. She almost immediately relaxed into me. Damn, this girl seemed like she was being hunted down or something.

"You know we have to stop meeting like this," I laughed into her ear. She immediately tensed up and tried to get on her feet. "Sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh, um, I'm fine. Don't worry about it," she said smiling sheepishly.

"Hey, wanna eat lunch together? Since we seem to be going the same way," I asked. "Seem" being the keyword there. She looked unsure, but shrugged stiffly. I noticed how tense she was. It was as if someone was pointing a gun to her head or something.

"So, what can I call you by?" I finally asked, smiling at her. She looked at me at first. She seemed to be either contemplating on the how to answer the question, or if she should answer the question. Finally, she gave in and smiled back at me. That. Completely. Blew. Me. Away. Even Gaara's sunset-like smile pales in comparison. It was just so beautiful I can't even describe it. If I even try to describe it, it…just…yeah. I'm at a loss for words, for the first time in my life. I must be drunk.

"They call me Tenten. I don't know my real name."

(1) The Mafia. You know those evil people that you should never ever upset.

(2)Those little octopus shaped wieners. That's what I like to call 'em. Google it if you still don't know what they are.

(3) Riceballs!

(4) I don't know what's in a Playboy. Sorry if I get things wrong. Just to get this out of the way…I. Do. Not. Read. Playboys.