The Desians are pretty stupid. You should know, I love each and every one of them with all of my heart. :)

--

Chapter Four

"Geeeeniiiis?"

"What?"

"How long does this freaking desert go on?"

Genis searched the horizon carefully. For miles and miles, all he could see was yucky, yellow sand. He couldn't find anything else; the only ones around it seemed where the two kids, their dog, and some scorpions.

Lloyd groaned. "Ugh. Why is it so hot?"

"Efreet's presence is supposed to affect the temperature in this area," Genis replied.

"Efreet? Isn't he, like, a summon spirit?"

"Yeah,"

"So, like, that's where Colette's headed, right?"

Genis looked thoughtful. "Yeah, probably."

"Then let's go there!" Lloyd jumped for joy.

"Well..." Genis shrugged. "I dunno where it is." Lloyd punched him.

So, the pair trudged on through the hot, sandy, yucky desert. It wasn't until it was getting dark out, and Lloyd and gotten one heck of a sunburn, did they finally see something in the distance.

"What is that?" asked Lloyd.

Genis pulled out a map. "That should be..." he scanned the chart, which was stupid because there was only one city in the whole desert. "Ah, Triet! The desert oasis!"

"Oasis? Like, water?" Lloyd drooled at the very thought. Genis nodded, tucking the map away. "Then, let's go!" So they goed. But they soon got tired again, so they rode Noishe for a while. But the doggy got hot and tired really quickly, and he kicked them off. So, the pair walked for a little longer.

Finally, they reached Triet.

"YES!" Lloyd walked in with his arms spread wide. "Man, I'm gonna find the nearest swimming pool, and-" Poor Lloyd was cut short when Genis grabbed his arm and pulled him behind a stand.

"Genis? What-" the elf slapped a hand over Lloyd's mouth, and pointed across the street. Lloyd's eyes widened.

"Dffmiamms!" he mumbled, which obviously translated into Desians.

"So, if you find this Lloyd kid, call us up," Desian number Two Hundred Eight was saying.

"Er, OK." Number One Hundred Twenty-one scatched his head-that is, his helmet. "So, what does this Lloyd look like?"

"Here's a picture of him," there was a moment of silence when the Desians crowded around to see the picture. "I'll just put up these wanted posters now, and hope that these humans will be stupid enough to turn in one of their own kind to us,"

"Good plan," said the last Desian, and with that, they dispersed.

"Jeez," Lloyd groaned, stepping out onto the road once the coast was clear. "Wanted posters and everything. These guys are really serious."

"Let's go look at the poster!" Genis shouted excitedly. So they did.

"This doesn't look anything like you, Lloyd!" Genis said as he and Lloyd gaped at the poorly drawn wanted poster.

"I know! Look; the hair is totally uneven! Look at the split ends! See, MY hair is perfectly even! No split ends on my head!" Lloyd pointed to wanted poster Lloyd's hair loftily.

Genis stared at him for a long, long time. "Actually, it's kinda accurate. I mean, you both have big heads." Lloyd punched Genis again.

"Well, fine then!" Lloyd pulled out a black marker and drew a moustache under wanted poster Lloyd's nose. "Now no one will ever know it's me! I mean come on; I would never let myself grow a moustache!"

Their job completed, the happy pair meandered off through the dusty streets of Triet. Soon they came to a tent with a big sign that read "Fortune Teller's House of Fortune".

"Ooh, a fortune teller!" Lloyd squealed like a little kid. "C'mon, Genis, let's go in!" And so they did.

"Hellooooooooooooo." said the fortune teller mysteriously. "I am the fortune teller of Triet. You may call me... the fortune teller of Triet."

Genis groaned. Lloyd squealed. "Tell my fortune, fortune teller of Triet! Tell my fortune!"

The fortune teller of Triet held out her hands expectantly. "Give me your right hand, child, and I shall divine for you the cloudy depths of your future." Lloyd shoved his hand into the fortune teller's. He smiled a dorky smile.

"Aaaah..." the fortune teller of Triet said cryptically. "I see... I see... I see you speaking with, no, arguing with a man... a man with flowing blonde hair... and a tight disco suit... he pulls out a giant purple sword... and a Desian comes to rescue you..." she tossed her hands in the air, dropping Lloyd's. "That is what I seeeeee!"

Lloyd gave her a strange look. "Disco suit? C'mon, ya old goat, is that the best you can do? I mean, really, 'flowing blonde hair'? And what's this crap about a Desian coming to save me? You suck, old lady!"

Genis nodded. "Besides, how can you read his palm if he's wearing a glove?"

The fortune teller of Triet looked flustered. "Uh, um, I-I shall not reveal the secret of my divining powers!" and with that, she tossed the pair out onto the sand.

"Gah, this sucks!" Lloyd shook his fist at the tent. "I just blew one hundred gald on that stupid fortune!"

"Yeah, we could've bought something we needed. But no, you had to get your fortune told!"

"I thought she might tell me something useful, like the weather for next week or the winning lottery number." Lloyd shrugged. "Well, should we try and find Colette now?"

"Um, I guess we should start asking if anyone's seen the Chosen's group," Genis said uncertainly.

"Whaaaat?" the fortune teller of Triet's mystical head suddenly shot out from the tent. "You are looking for the Chosen of Mana? Are you, perchance, acquainted with that charming young girl?"

"Yeah!" Lloyd jumped to his feet. "Have you seen her?"

"Seen her? My child, join me in my home and I shall tell you of the Chosen." So, Genis and Lloyd scurried back into the tent. Genis wasted no time beating around the bush.

"So, will you tell us where Colette- I mean, where the Chosen is?"

The fortune teller of Triet looked surprised. "Why would I do that? You're friend the Chosen broke my precious divining antique vase, and I want it paid for!" She glared at the boys, who suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"Er, that's not really our problem, ma'am..." the fortune teller gave Genis an evil look, and he screamed. "I-I-I mean, h-how much?"

"Well, let's see..." the fortune teller pulled out a magic fortune tellery powered calculator. "There's the vase, the vase stand, the carpet around the vase, the time spent cleaning up the pieces of the vase, and the price of one fortune told that she never paid..." she grinned and held out the calculator. "This should cover it."

Genis screamed again, and Lloyd toppled over in a dead faint.

"Th-this is insane!" Genis exclaimed. "You can't charge this much!"

The fortune teller of Triet glared. "What? Can't afford it?"

"Of course not!"

"Then, you'll just have to work it off," the fortune teller grinned evilly.

--

"Ug, where am I?" Lloyd blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked around him. He was sitting inside a dark and mysterious tent, quite alone. Where was he again...? "That's right! That crazy fortune teller way over-charged, and then-" Suddenly, the teen's view was obstructed by a big, pink, hairy Katz.

"YEEEEAAAARRGH!" Lloyd screamed at the top of his lungs, and tried to run for it. But, the Katz grabbed him by a long scarf and yoinked him back. Squirming and screaming, Lloyd barely registered that the Katz was very short.

"Lloyd, shut up! It's me!" The Katz pulled off his creepy kitty-eared hood.

"G-Genis? What're you dressed up like a Katz for?"

Genis' face fell into a cross between shame and hatred. "Well, while you were sleeping, I was working my butt off to pay off Colette's bill. By... playing the fortune teller of Triet's mascot... for the past... six hours..." the miserable boy-turned-Katz shuddered.

"Oh, yeah," Lloyd gave his buddy a hearty slap on the back. The poor boy crumpled. "So, anyway, I wonder why Colette didn't pay herself...?"

"You'll have to ask her that when we find her," grumbled Genis as he pulled himself into a sitting position. "We're heading to the Triet ruins, 'cause that's where I think she is,"

"I thought you didn't know where they were!"

"I checked the map," Genis pulled the said map from his magical elfy pocket and spread it between himself and Lloyd. He pointed to a dot in the middle of the big yellow blob that was the Triet Desert. "See? It's right there."

Lloyd decided not to question why the elf hadn't checked the map beforehand. Instead, he pointed to the horizon dramatically and declared in a loud voice:

"Alright! Onward to the Triet Ruins!"

"Uh, Lloyd? The Triet Ruins are this way," Genis grabbed Lloyd's gloved hand and pulled him out of the city.

"Hey, you!" The happy duo stopped in their tracks. They swivelled around to find themselves faced with not one, not two, but three freaking Desians.

"Uh, er..." Lloyd grinned and put on an incredibly fake accent. "T-top of th' mornin', fellas."

"Hello!" said one Desian, waving. The second elbowed him hard.

"Shut up, One Hundred Thirteen. Doesn't he look like the kid on the wanted poster?" questioned the second Desian.

"Huh?" One Hundred Thirteen turned around so he could see the poster tacked up on a wall. "Hey, yeah, he does!"

"Hey, now, wait a second!" Lloyd dropped the accent and held up his hands defensively. "Look at that guy's hair! It's totally uneven!" He brushed his own hair arrogantly. "See this? No split ends on my head!"

"Oh yeah, you're right! Sorry!" One Hundred Thirteen grinned, but he was elbowed again.

"Look kid," said the third Desian. "The kid on the poster looks an awful lot like you..."

"But he has a moustache!" Genis jumped in. "See? A big curly black one! There's no way L- er, my friend would ever grow a moustache!"

"Yeah!" Lloyd nodded eagerly. He stroked his moustache-less lip. "See? A clean, close shave!"

"Oh, you're right!" Desian One Hundred Thirteen repeated, and his Desian buddies nodded. "OK, see ya, kids! Have a nice day!" With that, the Desians left, off to question mustachioed men.

"Yeah!" Lloyd jumped for joy. "Ha ha ha, those Desians are so stupid!"

"I gotta admit..." Genis shrugged. "That was way easier than I thought it would be. I thought we'd hafta fight them or something."

"Yeah, look! Not a scratch on me!" At that very moment, a shiny pink sphere of electricity slammed into Lloyd's back.

"Holy mother of-!" Lloyd managed to gasp before he fell in a crumpled heap at Genis' feet. The poor little elf quaked with fear as a pair of Desians came up behind him. One grabbed him roughly by his very long white hair, and the other picked up Lloyd.

"Holy hell! This kid's heavy!" The second Desian groaned.

"Oh, c'mon, you loser," the first snapped. "OK, kid, you're coming with us," He snarled at Genis, who started to cry. "Oh for the love of-"

And so began the long and perilous trek of Genis, the two Desians, and the still-unconscious Lloyd. They slumped across the really hot desert, and then when they got tired, hitched a ride off a giant lizard. Finally they reached a really cool and high tech building. The first Desian lugged Lloyd through the super high tech door, and the second turned to face Genis, who sniffled loudly.

"Wah, this sucks!" he wailed. "This is all Lloyd's fault! I hate you Lloyd! You jerk! I wanted to stay home, but no, we had to go to the ranch. 'Let's save Marble', you said. 'You shoot 'em, and I'll run for it. OH, I'm sooo cool! Hey, let's go get banished! Why the hell not?' You suck Lloyd! Why I outta-"

"Hey!" the Desian smacked Genis hard. "Shut up, wouldja? Look, as a fellow kinsman, I'll let you go, OK?"

Genis' tears immediately stopped. He gave the Desian a nervous look. Then, before the half-elf could change his mind, Genis ran for it. He could've sworn he heard the Desian mutter "Thank th' Goddess", but he wasn't quite sure.

Anyways, soon he ran into Noishe, who gave him a big sloppy kiss.

"C'mon, Noishe, let's get the hell outta here!" Genis said. Noishe gave him a cute puppy dog look. "What? You think we should save Lloyd? But I don't wanna!" Noishe looked the elf right in the eye, with the darned cutest expression a dog could make. "AW, your so CUTE!" Genis hugged Noishe. "OK, we can go save Lloyd."

Noishe howled. Genis laughed. Somewhere in the big scary high tech building, a Desian screamed when he dropped the dead weight that was Lloyd on his toe.