(July 1, 8:35 a.m: The Lakeshore)


(Thin creeper vines and thorn bushes give way to a serene spread of crystal-blue water, shining like sapphire in the morning sun. A thin sandbar surrounds the sides of the lake, where Fox McCloud, eponymous leader of the legendary Star Fox team of Corneria, sits at the exact location where his Arwing crashed approximately eleven days ago. Although he acknowledges my presence with a nod, he does not turn in my direction, continuing to stare over the water.)


In the Lylat System, Terrans are famous- or infamous, I should say- for their hypocrisy. Humans paint themselves as the ultimately supreme, intelligent beings in the universe, other than terminally idiotic science fiction that'd make even Slippy cry. Where you come from, cats, dogs, and the like are relegated to the status of food and trite companionship- yet just a few thousand light years away, said cats and dogs have mastered the secrets of warp propulsion, artificial intelligence, and the like. A Cornerian pocket calculator has more circuits and functions in it than all the electronics companies in your city of Tokyo.

Then again, the whole reason your planet still exists is because of your merciful naivete. When I think about the things Andross did, what he could have done...

(He falls silent, sucking in his breath sharply as his eyes stare unblinkingly over the horizon.)

But never mind that. You're here for all the shit that went on in Subspace.

Essentially, yes.

(Fox gives me a half-appraising, half-skeptical look.)

Fire away.

What is your overall view of the Subspace Affair- has it affected you in any way?

Subspace Affair. Heh. I've heard the others call it many things, but never that before. You make the whole thing sound like some kind of political scandal, like something you'd see on a late-night talk show which only the elderly, the demented, and the celibate watch. In other words, Peppy.

But ironically, I guess that's what this whole thing has been for me in a way- just another scandal. It's interesting to live at first, but after a while, it fades away, just another memory in the whole mess of gray matter up there.

It's been a hell of a great adventure, but that's all it really is in the end.

So, you mean to say that you've been completely unfazed by the whole incident?

Of course not. I'll still get nightmares every so often about huge translucent blue guys with wings, but hey. Happens to the best of us. Nothing like a little PTSD to lighten up your day, you know?

(Although I say nothing, my skeptical expression reveals my thoughts. Fox pauses, his roguish expression fading somewhat, before beginning to speak again.)

Look, I'm not saying this was a minor incident, even though I know it sounds that way. We- I mean, all Smashers as a whole- agreed that the whole thing could have been a lot worse than it had been, and it was fortunate that we managed to stop it. But, you know, I guess I'm immune to that sort of stuff by now.

My whole life has been one death-defying adventure after another. Why should this be any different?

But others...Mario, Link, Samus...

(Fox scoffs, trailing a line in the sand with his index finger.)

Let them have their therapy group. I won't pretend everyone got off from this perfectly normal, but it was inevitable that some people would be shaken more so than others.

One consequence of the existence of the Smash Brothers universe is the fact that people from vastly different worlds are going to come in contact with another, unable to explain their stories to one another. Even though we try to communicate, to be a brotherly group of motley fighters, there's a part of us all that says this is all bull. We're all different, and we know it.

Look at some of these guys- Mario, Kirby, the Kongs- these are people that have grown up believing that the greatest threat in the known world are walking mushrooms, turtles, penguins, and crocodiles. Their universes are like giant G-rated films, never once showing the blood, the pain, the tears that can happen.

My father wasn't a plumber or a walking monkey or a bulimic piece of cotton candy with eyes. He was a member of one of the most elite fighting teams in the Lylat System, vowing to fight Andross to the end no matter what, and every day, he ran the risk of never being able to see another sunrise, never being able to tell his friends, his family how much he cared for them.

I'll never forget the day he died, the day Andross fucking blew up his Arwing with a remote detonator like a coward instead of facing him like a real man. The explosive was in the rear wells of the jet and it took out everything except the cockpit itself. My dad was trapped in there, burning as the flames slowly took him, unable to gain the honorable, quick death he deserved.

And as I saw what was left of him lying in the casket, I knew that I wasn't the only one, asking what kind of horrible person could do this to the man I loved. The Lylat Wars were a true bloodbath, something not even your Terran conflicts in Europe or Vietnam or the Middle East could hope to compare to. Everyone in Corneria- and I mean practically everyone- either had a parent, a sibling, and/or a child killed or permanently wounded, or knew somebody who had, because of the insanity of one madman.

I went down the same road my father took, knowing I could end up joining him at any moment. And you know what? I don't give a damn.

Smash Brothers makes a mockery out of death, out of glory. We fight and fight until we can't fight any more, and then all we do is turn into trophies and go to sleep until we can fight another day. The Subspace incident was the only remotely interesting thing worth fighting for that ever happened in this universe, and I still didn't get a damn thing out of it.

It doesn't matter when you get there, because everyone dies in the end. What really matters is how you get there. How do you explain that to people who have never tasted blood, who have never seen another die in their own lives?

(He scowls, making an obscene hand gesture at his reflection in the water.)

Call me whatever you want- harsh, uncaring- but the Subspace Affair was smoke in the water. To people like me, that's their day job.

(A terse silence hangs between us for a few seconds.)

What was your role in the entire affair?

You can ask Diddy Kong. If it hadn't been for him, I might never have gotten involved in the first place...although, on second thought, I guess that's BS. I mean, this entire mess was bound to get everyone involved, regardless of whether they wanted to or not.

Anyway, it started when I was flying my Arwing over this lake and all of a sudden this huge green sea serpent comes out of the water and blasts the hell out of my engines...and next thing I know, I'm wrestling with the controls wondering how much pain I'm going to be in when I hit the ground.

You weren't worried about dying?

(Fox laughs.)

Of course not. For starters, I wasn't at a particularly high altitude- in this universe, you'd have to be at least a half-mile up to actually have some bones broken or whatnot. Even if the Arwing exploded, which it did, I knew the blast would be nothing compared to if it had blown up over Corneria. Physics works differently in this world, you know. I also managed to activate my Reflector on impact, so I managed to stop flaming shrapnel going into my face. Of course, I was a little shaken up, but everything was still pretty much in working order. Overall, it was really nothing more than being hit with a Bob-omb in the arena.

So, anyway, I did what any hero would have done in this situation- I saved the monkey. Then, of course, we had to fight Rayquaza, which I'll kind of admit was the first big thrill I had in months. Once that had been taken care of, I was going to leave, find my way back to the arena on foot, but the little shit dragged me back into the jungle to find Big Brother.

You then encountered Bowser?

A clone of him, although I couldn't really tell; he's ugly as hell either way. I only figured out it was a copy after the real Bowser came out with his Dark Cannon and fired the damn thing point-blank at us.

And then what happened?

Let's just say I learned something from watching your Terran "Indiana Jones" movies. I should be thankful that conventional laws of inertia and force of impact don't apply in this world, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you now.

We were starting to see more of the Subspace Army at this time, so it was a logical guess that the Shadow Bugs we saw earlier seemed to make up the various monsters...and then, of course, we saw Bowser again. Lovely guy, creating a thirty-foot scale replica of Diddy for us to play with. I think we'd have been pretty screwed if Falco hadn't shown up. Blew up the Dark Cannon, kicked Evil Diddy's ass, called in the Great Fox...that's Falco for you. (A faint smile crosses his face.)

Of course, that was nothing compared to what happened on the Halberd.

You flew up to the Halberd?

Right. We flew up using the Great Fox, and luckily there happened to be an extra couple Arwings in the hold. So I get into one and start firing at the Halberd, all the while missing death by inches...then all of a sudden this crazy ninja-bitch lands on the damn windshield and punches a fucking hole right through the glass!

(He laughs, somewhat bitterly.)

I've really got to buy insurance for those things someday.

And the rest, you know, was a blur, going into Subspace itself, fighting through that damn maze, and kicking Tabuu's butt back into Subspace, so everyone lived happily ever after.

It sounds weird, but I wish I could have taken a photograph, or something, while I was in there. Granted, Subspace isn't exactly the sort of place you'd want to go for your summer vacation, but still...it's pretty amazing, in its own way. You don't see places like that every day- and we might not see this one for a long time.

(His gaze flickers strangely over the water's surface.)

There's one last thing I'd like to ask. Why did you decide to conduct the interview here, outside the arena?

Not for fresh air, I'll tell you that much.

I wish it were true that with Tabuu's destruction, the world as we know it would have returned completely to normal, but...

(His eyes do not leave the surface of the lake.)

...Rayquaza?

No, it hasn't reappeared since I first saw it, but something else has.

What do you mean?

Look at the center of the lake.

(I follow his instructions and stand up, gazing directly into the heart of the crystalline water. Sure enough, I can see something nestled in the bottom of the lake floor- something large and dark, of indeterminate shape. It seems alive, swelling and writhing as it glows with an oddly dark-purple aura. As if to answer my unspoken question, Fox nods.)

Yes.

But how? And...why? With Tabuu destroyed-

Just because Tabuu's been destroyed, doesn't mean Subspace is gone from us forever.

Does this mean...the Subspace Incident may repeat itself someday?

Only one can answer that, and I stopped believing in him the day my father died.

(The surface of the lake begins to shift as something emerges from it, its silhouette dark against the sun. It is a Primid, its greyish body contrasting with the sharp crimson of its pupil-less eyes. Slowly, like a reanimated corpse, it turns and begins to walk towards us. Fox draws and raises his weapon, a Cornerian standard-issue automatic laser pistol, and casually fires three blasts through the creature's head.)