The next morning, after taking a scalding hot shower, Marie wiped the steam from the mirror and took a look at herself.
She looked like the shell of the vibrant girl she was when she and Logan had first met.
Obviously, she still looked like Marie, but she could notice the subtle differences in her features. Aside from the white streaks in the front of her hair, she had a few random white hairs sprinkled throughout her head, circles under eyes and she was at least fifteen pounds lighter.
The years of fighting and struggling to make the man who she allowed to encompass her whole life's happiness see her as his one and only had taken a physical toll on her...and it showed.
Marie pulled her wet hair into a bun and threw on some sweats before pulling all of her tools back out.
She started to walk over to a large, bowling ball sized hole, but as soon as she approached it, her hands began shaking and she felt as though she were hyperventilating.
Marie quickly dropped the sand paper and rushed to the window, leaning against it as she put a hand on her stomach. She closed her eyes, fighting the bile that threatened to rise up in her throat.
With a shake of her head and a few deep breaths, she regained control and opened her eyes.
She was still an emotional basket case and it was all her own fault. She had the power to put an end to it at any time...but she was just too weak to let him go or let him leave her. She resented herself for that.
Instead, she had waited until things got so bad, they self destructed.
Everyone knew he was bad for her...they all tried to warn both of them...especially Storm.
She walked over to the three claw marks and began sanding.
*****************1 year and six months ago******************
Marie was getting dressed...or trying to, when Logan reached up from where he lay, grabbed her wrist and yanked her back into bed.
He purred into her ear and kissed her neck, "Mmm, stay in bed with me, beautiful."
Marie smiled and briefly allowed him to grope at her mostly covered body before she wriggled out of his grasp and stood. She tried not to look at his naked body as he lay on the bed with the sheet strategically covering his groin.
She grinned and shook her head as he wriggled his eyebrows and teasingly lifted the sheet, "We just fucked twice! How can you still be horny?"
He stood up out of the bed and leaned down to kiss her neck before whispering into her ear, "It's what you do to me, baby."
Marie laughed softly and pulled away from him, "I promised Jubes and Kitty we'd hang out. I can't ditch them for you again."
She pulled her shirt over her head as he kissed her sweetly on the lips, "Fine, kid...but don't you forget what you got waitin' at home."
Yeah right. What red blooded woman could forget she had THIS at home?
When she turned to leave, he gave her ass a slap, making her giggle.
An hour after she left, he was dressed and scavenging for food in the kitchen. Storm walked in, "Hey Logan..."
He grunted a brief greeting and went back to rummaging through the refrigerator. Storm picked up an apple and sat at the counter, "I've been meaning to tell you that I've finally decided to donate Jean and Scott's stuff..."
Logan looked as if he'd been punched in the gut, "Wha-what? Why?"
Storm ran a hand through her white hair, "Logan...it's been over four years. It's time to let go."
"Hmph..."
"Why do you keep going on like this? She's dead Logan...and she's never coming back. You have a beautiful woman who is completely in love with you."
Logan snarled, "Don't you think I know that?"
"Then why are you punishing yourself? Why are you punishing her?"
Logan looked down and turned away, contemplating her words.
After a few moments of silence, Storm took a step forward, "If you can't bring yourself to leave Jean's memory behind, then maybe you should do both of you a favor and leave."
She turned on her heel and left. Logan stormed all the way back up to his room and paced back and forth like a caged animal. He'd caused more tears than happiness in Marie's life and she didn't deserve that.
He unsheathed his claws and roared, punching the wall. When he moved his hand, there was a dent and three telltale claw marks.
Logan started to pack his bag, the thought of Marie stopped him.
What would he do without her? What would she do without him?
Fuck Storm...she was always acting like a know-it-all anyways.
When Marie walked into the door that evening, she looked at the claw marks and raised a brow, "Do I even wanna know?"
He just grabbed her and pulled her body against his before covering her mouth in a passionate kiss. She moaned against his lips a little, then put her hands on his biceps as she broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, "Is somethin' wrong, baby?"
He looked into her eyes for a moment, "I just love you, kid."
Marie smiled, "That's a good enough reason for me..."
Within a few minutes, Marie was laying on her stomach on the bed with him pumping into her from behind as he held onto a handful of her hair. She let out a soft gasp with each thrust, which spurred Logan to move harder and faster within her.
After they came, he rested on top of her and lay soft kisses across her back.
Marie smiled. They had gone six months without a "Jean" incident and it seemed as though he was finally getting over the redhead.
The next day, Logan was dodging flying objects.
He'd walked in on her angrily throwing clothes into her suitcase. Logan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What the fuck is this all about?"
She paused just long enough to shoot him an angry glare before she resumed packing, "Ya know for six months, we've been happy. No Jean incidents, no real problems, right? Wrong! I ran into Storm lugging heavy boxes out of the house...it was Scott and Jean's stuff. She said she needed to get it done before you caught her because you two had a little talk yesterday. Seems like you're still hanging onto the hope that she'll come back."
Logan dodged a hairbrush as Marie shrieked in frustration. He put his hands up, "That's not what I said!"
Marie grabbed her hair and closed her eyes as she screamed, "She's dead! You killed her yourself! It's over! I'm the one with the pulse! I'm the one who is here!"
Her words struck him to the core, but all he could do was watch as she slammed her belongings into the suitcase. She continued to rant as she threw things into her bag, "It's just stupid because you guys didn't even share a real connection! She was with someone else the entire time you knew her! You didn't even have sex!"
At that, Logan flinched. Marie immediately noticed and narrowed her eyes, "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"The flinch! What was it?"
Logan turned away, but Marie quickly threw her flat iron at the back of his head. The brutal attack would have leveled any normal man, but his adamantium plated skull caused the object to simply bounce off of his head.
"Jean and I had sex! Ok?" he blurted as he turned back around.
Marie suddenly halted all movement to stare at him. The one-sided infatuation Logan had for Jean had all of the sudden turned into a full blown affair. It was so shocking, it was almost as if she'd just caught them having sex in their bed.
"Oh god...oh god..." she repeated as she put a hand on her stomach and began stumbling around the room aimlessly. She slapped Logan away when he tried to help steady her, "Get away from me!"
She tried to make sense of the news. How could he have kept this from her? They'd been together for more than two years and Jean had always been a hot button issue for them...this would turn their relationship issues into a full month subscription.
"It was just a couple of times...I didn't want anyone to think badly of her..."
"Oh fuck what people think!" Marie grabbed her bag and began to storm out, but Logan stopped her. She fought violently, but his grasp never relented, "Marie! I can't let you drive like this! I'm sorry...I never wanted to hurt you."
"I sure as hell ain't stayin' here with your lyin' ass!"
Logan had to understand that, but he would be damned if he would let her walk out the door and not know where she was going. He got Peter to give her a ride, but bribed him into telling him where he took her.
It took him $200 dollars to find out that Marie was staying at the Renaissance hotel down the street.
The next morning, he showed up at her door on his knees with flowers.
She should have slammed the door in his face...but instead, she allowed him to sweep her up into a loving, passionate kiss that weakened her knees so much he had to pick her up and carry her to the bed, where he made passionate love to her.
He whispered to her about how much he loved her as he pumped into her, but as the intense physical pleasure wracked her body, she was met with an overwhelming feeling that the worst was yet to come.
***************End Flashback***************
Marie answered a knock at her door and smiled uneasily, "Hey Hank...how's it going?"
He smiled and rubbed his hands together, "Hello Rogue. How are you feeling today?"
She shrugged a little, "Good, I guess."
"You're sure? I was a little surprised when Ororo told me you felt up enough to start the moving process."
She followed his eyes around the room and nodded, "Yeah, well...didn't wanna stay here too long...too many memories."
Hank nodded sympathetically for a moment, then patted her arm, "You be sure to tell me if you need anything."
She nodded, "Thanks."
He turned and left, leaving an immensely appreciative Marie behind. The only person who hadn't bugged the living daylights out of her since this whole mess went down was Hank.
Thanks so much to you reviewers! Please keep them coming!
Here are some review replies:
CaptMacKenzie: I think Jubes is more about being there for Marie in all of her decisions, while Storm is the one trying to make sure Logan maintains his guilty conscience.
Laura: I'm so glad you gave my angst-fest a chance!
notashamedtobesoilyfan: We shall soon find out! I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
tanya2byour21: I love your optimism!
jnet: I'll try not to dissappoint!
dulcesweet: I'll definitely keep delivering on the rollercoaster twists and turns!
Masanya: Yea, I've been there before as well, which is probably the ONLY reason I write this well! I still remember the feeling of being trapped, but at the same time not wanting to leave...feeling like I was suffocating. It was rough, but thank goodness that's been over and done with for years now. I was able to use that experience to write this.
nickrivers: Thanks for the support!
Comic-cake: Yea! I know I would have done that too!
