Author's Unimportant Note: REVIEW YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! Think of it this way: The more you review, the faster I'll write, and the sooner it'll end. So by reviewing you cause this fic to end faster than it normally would have. Wait...what.
"Don't you see, Albus? The Sorting Hat confirmed what I predicted! I MUST be right!" Trelawney was swiftly following the Headmaster to his office, her eyes darting around with uncontrolled excitement.
Dumbledore was petting the old hat softly, singing an ancient lullaby. "Nonsense. I gave Hatty some sugar candy before the feast, that must have been the cause of his outbursts." He raised the hat to look at it more closely. "Little Sorty just got a bit hyper, didn't it?"
The hat did not move or signal any form of response.
"That's what I thought." Dumbledore replied, walking a bit faster to shake off Professor Trelawney. The Divination teacher seemed determined to prove her prediction, though, so she merely caught up with Dumbledore and started rambling some more.
"Blah blah blah bla-blah blah blah lemon drops blah blah blah." Trelawney droned on, not stopping to breathe. "Blah blah blah blah gay sex bl-blah blah blah blah blah."
Dumbledore finally reached his office, slowly closing his door on her face; slamming it would be rude and undignified.
"This ISN'T OVER!"
"Look. The chair was from IKEA. It's not like it being broke was a big deal."
"Headmaster, the chair is only a minor object in a chain of events!"
"Bye Sybill."
click.
"So we're red?" Sophie asked as they chased the fearful students down the halls. "I look great in red!"
Eliot coughed loudly, but he was quickly interrupted by the two Gryffindors stopping abruptly. "Look." The first one said, his cheeks beet red from the running. "Stop following us! We're at the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, where you stay." The second one looked at them suspiciously before turning to a picture of a fat chick and muttering something.
The fat chick swung open, and the two students crawled in, shutting the entrance before the Leverage crew could go in. "Damn. There must be a password, and I didn't bring my hacker equipment." Hardison emptied his pockets, not realizing he was wearing new clothes. The crew stood there for about twenty minutes, waiting patiently for someone to come along and open it.
Meanwhile, thirty feet away...
"C'mon Ron! It's late, we have to go in there." Hermione tapped her foot, looking at her two best friends with obvious distress.
"No way. No way am I getting in a situation where I have to talk to those guys." Ron pointed at the five new students with distaste, nudging Harry. "Look at them. Just standing there."
"I dunno Ron, the people seem kind of nice. They're probably scared because they're in a new environment." At this point Sophie slapped Eliot hard on the face, screaming cuss words at the Hitter and madly flailing her arms.
"Yeah, nice."
"Gosh, you men are so childish some times!" Hermione huffed, grabbing her Magick and Christianity; A Controversy hardcover and walking toward the five new students. They were standing there, heads low, talking among themselves in sudden secrecy, but doing it very badly. When Hermione approached, the brunette one raised her head and looked around.
"GUYS, WE SHOULD ASK THIS YOUNG LADY ABOUT THE COOKING INGREDIENTS WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT." She looked pointedly at Hermione, who seemed unimpressed. "COOKING INGREDIENTS. NOT ESCAPE PLANS. NEVER ESCAPE PLANS. THIS ADOLESCENT LOOKS AS IF SHE LIKES FOOD A LOT."
Hermione scowled. "Well, if you five don't mind, I would like to enter my dormitory now."
"Great!" Nate rubbed his hands together. "We were waiting for someone to come along and give us the password."
"Well, if you must know, the password is 'Fawktehand' and you mustn't give the password to anyone non-Gryffindor."
Eliot exploded with laughter, red in the face. Hermione, along with the rest of the team, looked at him strangely. He recomposed himself and returned their looks. "What? 'Fawktehand?' Does nobody else realize what that sounds like?"
The entrance had already creaked open from Hermione saying the password, and the Leverage crew ignored him and one by one climbed into the portrait, Sophie only stopped to tell the Fat Lady that she needed to "lose serious weight."
The common room looked cozy and beautiful, with poofy chairs and old wooden tables, completed with a fire crackling joyfully on the center wall. Many students were chattering happily with friends as they entered, but stopped suddenly and stared at them.
The silence was awkward.
Very awkward.
EXTREMELY awkward.
"Um." Said Hardison, swerving his head around as if he was a dog. "Hi. I'm Alec. I...I like wizards." Eliot bumped him and muttered something about him being a wizard, looked at Harry, and simply asked him where his room was.
"Well...er...I guess since you were put in year three you would bunk with us..." He nudged Ron for support, and the ginger looked up, surprised.
"Uh, yeah. But there are no extra beds. You would probably be WAY more comfortable sleeping in here. Yeah."
Nate chuckled. "Nonsense. Look, someone left five lovely sleeping bags for us." He was correct; five rolled up sleeping bags lay near the fire, almost begging to be slept in. At Nate's words Parker ran up and grabbed the only one with unicorns on it, hugging it gently and hissing at Parvati when she passed.
Ron banged his head on his palm. "My rutty luck." As he did this a quirky looking boy came up, tapping Nate on the shoulder. "Sir, our room is up that stairwell, sir." He pointed, and Ron banged his head even harder.
"Why thanks, boy." Said Nate, heading up the staircase, Eliot and Hardison following him. "What's your name? Neville Longbottom? How odd..."
Hermione sighed. "I guess you two will be sleeping in my dormitory." She turned reluctantly and headed up a stairwell, Sophie following closely behind and Parker nomming gently on a lemon drop.
They slept wonderfully.
The walls, stained with blood, could not conceal the shadows flittering across their broken face. The shadows moved quickly, without patience, without mercy.
"Move faster." A growl could be heard amongst three people. They trekked even faster, now running, down the dark tunnel, no light but Lumos to guide them. The footing was difficult, the ground not smooth as the tunnel was rarely used. "We have to reach him."
"It'll be too late." The lights of their wands flickered across damp soil, their shoes sucking into the ground. Rain pounded overhead, their ears filled with pressure. The tunnel closed in, and they all took turns crawling through, dirt streaking their dark attire. The leader, his shaggy hair acquiring small particles of dirt and leaf, continued to run, not waiting for the others. "He has to be okay!"
"Wait up!" Said the last, panting. He reached out against the cave, trying to pull himself forward from the narrow part. Unsuccessful, the other boy grabbed the last's arm, trying to pull him himself. When that did not work, he gave the last one final fleeting glance before turning and running without him, leaving the boy screaming and begging for help.
The now running boy could not catch up with his friend. "Wait up!" but his words had no effect, the first continued running at the same pace, his long hair bellowing behind him.
"I have to find him!" He came to a stop, gasping for breath. He pushed open a latch, entering a large, cold room. The wind and rain were at full force, as the room was rotting and unprotected. His friend caught up with him, panting as he did. They looked into the room, and as they did the first one let out a long, sad wail.
"Moony, no!"
"They were utterly terrible!" Hermione said as she slammed her Transfiguration book down on the Gryffindor table. "Sophie, if that's her name, put her sleeping bag right next to mine while Parker taped hers to the ceiling with the last of my magical tape!" She looked at Harry and Ron sourly. "How did the men do?"
"Well." Said Ron, spreading butter on his already buttered toast. "Eliot wasn't so bad, that's the buff one, but the other two were. Nate told me and Harry that he'd protect me if bullies tried to hurt us, as if we need that. And I said 'No thanks' politely but inside I was screaming 'OH HELL NO.'"
Harry tried to hush him as he was saying this, but Ron just spoke louder. As he finished, someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was Nate. He looked angry. Ron offered him his toast. Nate did not accept.
"So you don't want to be protected? Then I won't protect you. Not even if you're about to die." Nate looked upsettingly at the two boys, sitting down next to Harry. "Speaking of death, why does that Neville kid snore so much? I think I lost half my brain cells from the loudness of that."
"Er." Said Harry, not wanting to make fun of people.
"Is that ALL you can say?" Nate looked at him suspiciously. "It's all I ever hear from you. Er this and er that. It's annoying."
"Er." Harry said.
"Harry, that is very rude, mocking him like that." Hermione said from the other side of the table, giving Harry a sharp look. "If you have not forgotten, they will be in ALL of our classes from now on."
Ron cried baby tears, which Sprout shuffled over quickly to bottle. After she had filled four gallon sized containers and a shot glass, she scuffled away with glee.
"Hey, where's everybody else?" Nate looked around, munching on a muffin the size of his head. So, you know, a huge muffin. "There's Sophie!" He pointed.
Sophie was bothering Cho Chang, waving something pink around. Cho looked very scared, and Harry stood up to defend her, but Nate shoved him down. "Don't worry. She'll stop. Hopefully."
A few minutes later Sophie slammed herself next to Hermione, who spilled her juice. "That Asian chick was trying to steal my wand!" She held up the pink think they saw her waving earlier; it was a pink princess wand with a star at the top. "She went up to me and was all like 'Har, dats not a real wand, I had one of thoze wen I was little.' She was SO obviously trying to steal it. I told her it was better than the stick her creepy Headmaster gave me, then she started to bitch about not insulting bumblebees or something, I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I showed her when I drop kicked a picture she was carrying. It was of you, Scar Boy."
Harry blushed every shade of red.
The Gryffindors ate in silence for a bit, and soon Eliot and Hardison showed up together. They claimed they were using the toilet, but Eliot's shirt was only partially buttoned and Hardison was red-black.
Sophie stopped suddenly. "Where's Parker?"
A gentle knock on his office door awoke Dumbledore from his favorite daydream: he was riding a unicorn, a crown of daisies upon is head. "Come in!" He called lazily from his desk, quickly picking up a piece of paper and a quill in case it was McGonagall checking if he was doing work.
Parker burst into the room, digging through all of his stuff and throwing things around the room. "Where are they? Where are the lemon drops?"
Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling with tears of happiness, opened a large drawer in his desk and pulled out some of them. Parker ran to grab them, but Dumbledore stopped her mid-grab. "I see you have become partial to lemon drops. Sadly, most students and staff members do not care for them, so they have built up over time."
"I NEED ONE. SO BAD." She panted, looking at the lemon candy with wild eyes. Dumbledore plucked one out of the large pile, handing it to her. She unwrapped it like a madman and shoved it in her mouth. "Delicious."
Dumbledore clapped and shouted with glee, shuffling around his desk, looking for something. He pulled out a large Crown Royal bag, stuffed with lemon drops, and handed it to her. "The only thing I ask is that you do not get caught eating these in class. The staff would kill me."
"Deal! YOU ARE AWESOME." She stuffed the bag in her pocket, pulling out her wand. "Look what I learned! Lumos."
Nothing happened. "Very good!" Dumbledore clapped. "Great first try!" He pulled out a lemon drop. "Here is a reward for doing so good."
"Yay!"
"Look at the time." Dumbledore said, eyeing a large clock in his room. "You're almost late for class! Hurry along!"
"Will do, Dumbledore! I can't wait to learn magic!"
The bell rung.
