[A/N: I'm taking 2 five week summer classes starting today, and they're going to be very intense. I definitely won't be updating as often so please don't discourage if I don't update for two weeks at a time.]
Cormac had linked arms with me as he paraded me around the ball room, introducing me to all the fancy, rich and important people that had come to his uncle's party.
Every single one of them was completely taken with and interested in me. Everyone felt so horrible about what had happened to my parents who I didn't remember 15 years ago and they all knew right from the start that I'd been telling the truth about Voldemort.
And Cormac boasted on about himself to me whenever he got a free moment. He described himself as very athletic, incomparably handsome, a risk taker, and too charming for his own good.
At the moment, the only thing convincing me that I as better off being Cormac's arm candy than Draco's girlfriend, was that Cormac was taller and his skin wasn't as pale and translucent as Draco, but even now I was starting to miss him.
Just as I decided that if Draco walked into the room I would throw myself at his feet and beg him to take me back, Cormac piped up about something other than his godlike qualities.
"I assume you're done with all of these folks. Let's go to the lounger. A few of my mates are in there," he said.
I smiled and gave him an approving nod. How Hermione even pretended to actually like Cormac for more than an hour was a feat and I'd have to commend her on it when I got back to Grimmauld.
Cormac walked me out of the ballroom, through a few empty rooms and into a lounge that opened up into a sun room. Sitting inside were two girls, and three guys, all in my age range and I recognized them as seventh years from Gryffindor, though I knew none of them personally.
"There you are McLaggen," one of the girl piped up. She had long light brown hair that fell into curls over her bare shoulders. Her skin was olive and freckled and her voice smooth and low. "We've been waiting for you for ages." The girl spotted me and smiled. "Oh, and you've brought a friend."
The sound of snickering filled my ears and I wished I were back with my own friends.
The girl got to her feet and walked over to me. "Genie Hawkins. I've seen you around, Potter."
"And I've see you around as well," I replied, leaving out that I'd never bothered to learn her name and that after I left I'd make a point to forget it.
"Just in case you don't know who we are," Genie said turning, "this is Lailana, Kyle, Dante, and William." She pointed to each other them as she introduced them.
I didn't know any of these kids, but I knew why I didn't spend time with them. Even being in Gryffindor I could tell that we weren't as awesome as everyone made us out to be, especially if you looked at specific groups and individuals.
Sure we could be courageous and helpful, but we could also be self-absorbed and rude. Cormac and his friends inherited all the negative attributes of a Gryffindor and practically none of the good ones.
"So, you McLaggen's new squeeze then?" Dante asked.
They all snickered again and I rolled my eyes again. They were almost as irritating as Pansy.
Almost.
"I most certainly am not Cormac's or anyone else's, for that matter, 'squeeze'," I said.
"Ooh, a bit hostile isn't she?" Lailana giggled reaching into her small purse and pulling out a cigarette.
*And they smoke. I am done here.*
-Sadly, you must endure this for an hour or so more.-
I did my best not to seem peeved as she lit it and took a long, slow drag from it.
"Do ya smoke, Potter?" William asked.
"I've got enough problems as it is. I don't need to add lung cancer to the list," I remarked.
"Aw, you're as much as party pooper as Cormac is," Kyle said. "He'll eat doxy eggs but smoke a fag? Absolutely not."
"I don't need all that smoke in my lungs while I'm trying to fly on a broom," Cormac said. "Besides, who'd want to snog you if your mouth tasted like ash."
"That is also true," I agreed. Though Hermione had said Cormac's snogging skills were 'sloppy at best' she never complained of him having halitosis.
If I were to make a Venn diagram of good qualities about Draco and Cormac, good oral hygiene would definitely fall in the middle. Cormac wasn't a complete prat.
I spent the next hour exchanging quips with the group and it got to the point where I could almost let my guard down around them and relax. The atmosphere was friendly, if not a bit pompous. More and more discarded teenagers who had been dragged here by their parents poured into the room so it was no longer just us, but everyone else (according to Dante) was not of notable importance.
"You're alright, Potter," Genie decided. "You should hang with us more often."
"Yeah, especially if you decide to keep Cormac around," Demetrius said.
*Not going to happen.*
"So, be honest," Lailana said, "what happened with you and Malfoy? All anyone knows is that he was really pissed off with whatever happened."
"Oh, yes, do tell," Genie said. "Did he cheat on you or something?"
"No, he'd never do anything like that," I said, suddenly meek. "It's just. . . There was some very intense hostility between him and my friends and. . . Bro's before hoes." I chuckled as I thought of it. If I could have any of my friends with me here now it would be Ron.
"Seriously?" Demetrius asked. "Because he didn't like your friends?"
"Yes, that's why," I said.
"I'm sorry, but I'd drop any of my friends in second for a good shag," Genie said.
"Then I guess your friends aren't as good as mine," I said.
"Or maybe Malfoy doesn't fall under the category of a good shag," Cormac said.
I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't know."
"Bull shit," Kyle said. "You have 'I put out' written all over your face."
"Excuse me?" I asked, ready to pick up my cane and beat him into a bloody mess.
"I mean everyone knows that you two fooled around and what not but you guys were just too serious to not have done it," Lailana said.
"Well we hadn't. Never. Not once," I said.
"And you never even thought about it?" Cormac asked.
Draco and I spent half our time thinking about all the things we shouldn't do that we could do and all sorts of other questionable things. But, and I was almost sure of this, if we hadn't broken up by now we'd have ended up doing more than just thinking about it.
"I'm human. Of course I've thought about it," I said. "I made a choice not to act on anything I thought about."
Genie shook her head. "I just cannot believe. Not even once? You didn't even shag him one time?"
"No," I said. "And even if I had I can hardly see how it would be any of your business."
"Everything you do is everybody's business, or did you forget that you're Hannah Potter," Kyle said.
And that was the straw that broke my back. Rather than beat them all with my cane, I was going to find Tonks or Kingsley and leave.
"I think I've endured your company for long enough. I'll be going now," I said.
"Will I be hearing from you again then?" Cormac asked.
I scoffed. "No you will not. I believe I can find my distractions elsewhere if I decide again that I need one at all."
I was just going to stick to lying in my bed crying and debating on whether not I made a mistake day in and day out all summer like I'd originally planned.
Just as I was about to rise from my seat next to Cormac, my eyes fell upon the door. I watched Draco walk into the room, a peeved Astoria Greengrass trailing behind him.
Suddenly I was frozen to the spot. My brain was telling me to get up and go because if I stayed in this room long enough for me to actually speak to Draco I was going to end up crying and more than likely hitting Cormac McLaggen and his smug little friends in their faces. Greengrass didn't look like she was enjoying herself at all which could only mean that Draco was ignoring her.
"Uh-oh," Genie said, turning to grin evilly at me.
It was official; I liked Pansy Parkinson more than I liked Genie.
Draco's eyes fell on me and I knew that it was too late for me to make an escape now. There was only one thing I could to do even though it meant bad news – I had to talk to him.
I got to my feet and walked over to him. Astoria stood by his side and crossed her arms.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Go away little girl. The grownups are talking," I said. She leered at me until Draco shooed her away.
". . . I don't remember your name being on the guest list," he said.
"Cormac invited me at the last minute," I said.
"You're here with that prat?" Draco asked.
"And you're here with her," I said crossly. "And for the record I wouldn't even be here with him if you weren't with her."
"Were you jealous or something?" Draco asked.
"Um, of course, Dumbass," I said. "I haven't moved on. I still cry myself to sleep some nights. You're still the first person I think about every morning when I wake up and being around someone as sleezy and thick headed as McLaggen all day has only been making me think about whether or not I made the right decision."
I brought my hands up to my face and wiped my tears away.
"I still love you, Hannah," Draco said.
I shook my head and wiped away more tears, though it was getting hard, there were more they were coming more quickly now.
"Please don't say that. You're just making this worse," I sobbed, still trying in vain not to cry. "I love you too but. . . I haven't forgiven you yet. I can't forgive you."
"Why not?" Draco asked.
". . . When my friends can legitimately forgive you for what you've done to them. . . I'll forgive you," I said.
"That's an impossible task," Draco said.
I shrugged. "I want impossible. I'm selfish enough to say that I deserve impossible and if you're not capable of putting aside all of that hatred you have for them for my sake then I'm not sure that I really want you anyway."
"You don't mean that," he said shaking his head.
"I do mean that," I said. I wasn't sure if I was lying or not. I definitely wanted to be with Draco, I loved him after all, but I had put so much work into making our relationship work that if he was just going to run around and be an ass clown and act like I was just going to put up with his nonsense because I loved him, he had another thing coming.
"Oi, what's going on here?" Cormac asked coming over.
"I told you, I was just leaving, McLaggen," I said.
"So, we're no longer on first name basis then?" he asked smugly.
"We're trying to have a conversation here. Why don't you go run along and act like an ass clown with your friends," Draco said.
"Ass clown am I?" Cormac asked, getting defensive. "If I'm such an ass clown then why Potter here with me instead of you? Let's ponder that for a moment."
"Sod off," Draco said through clenched teeth.
"What's the matter? Are you upset that she tossed your death eater of a father in Azkaban and then dumped you? I don't blame her. I wouldn't want my name attached to yours after something like that either," Cormac said.
I wasn't quite sure what happened after that. I saw Draco standing there, his fist clenched tightly in front of him and Cormac was on the ground clutching his nose as blood dripped from it.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted at Draco. "Did you thinking hitting him was going to make things better?"
"It made me feel better," Draco said. I shook my head and walked away from him. It was that attitude that was why we weren't together anymore.
I walked over and knelt down beside Cormac. "Are you alright?"
"Fine. Just a broken nose, nothing I can't handle," he said, leering at Draco. "You're rotten to the core, just like your father, Malfoy, and think Hannah here is starting to realize that."
I wanted to say something. I wanted to protest. I didn't think Draco was anything like his father. He was just misguided and very Slytherin. It made it hard interact with other people who weren't like him.
My mouth was open, Draco was waiting for the words to come out, but they never did. Instead, I pulled out my wand and turned back to Cormac.
"Episkey," I said. Cormac's nose healed itself, though he was still covered quite a bit of blood.
"Thanks for that," he said.
"No problem," I said. I climbed to my feet and watched Draco for a moment. I walked over to him, fighting tears again. "Please just. . . Stop all this. . . It doesn't make me think any better of you and you. . . You're only just hurting me more than you already have."
". . . Sorry," was all Draco said.
"You're always sorry. Don't write to me again until you've stopped being sorry," I said.
