xYuki: This chapter didn't go as well as I had hoped it would, that's why it took so long for me to post it. I did, however, thoroughly enjoyed writing the beginning of it, but when we get near the end of the chapter the quality just sank. So please forgive me for that and please enjoy Hayate's first appearance.

I love her in the beginning, so sweet and loving.

P.s: This is the first chapter in Face Down that's long enough to actually require page breaks. Yay for 9.2(almost .3)k words.

Oh and please forgive me for the errors here. I've been busy helping my wife keep our daughters from clawing out each others' eyes, building a tree house with my friend (and failing at it. Yay for idiots in a tree). I posted this chapter at 5:30am, so yeah... I'll come back later and fix it when I have time.


A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown
I see what's going down.


The wind picked up around me causing my hair to billow along with it. The crisp spring air, coupled with the refreshing smell of the salty sea, brought tears to my eyes. It's been about week or two since my not so dashing attempt at being a hero occurred. The event still played out in my dreams in vivid high definition color and sound, in other words… I've been living in hell since then. Nanoha and I haven't spoken since the incident nor do I intent to bridge the gap between us and say "hi" and move on. It hurt too much to think she'd go back to that abusive bastard instead of be with me. What was wrong with me? Minus the drinking, smoking, declining school grades, criminal record (I got into quite a few fights), I was the perfect candidate for her. Hm, on second thought… maybe not.

A sudden 'squawk' beside me caused me to jump back and fall on my bottom; a random seagull had taken the spot on the bridge railing beside me. Deciding that the bird just wanted to keep me company, I got up and dusted myself off and moved back to the railing, but just like how I was wrong about Nanoha, I was wrong about the bird. A flurry of dirty white and off-grey clouded my vision before a sudden weight on my head caused me to tumble down once again.

"Son of a bitch!" I growled as I recovered from the fall. My sexy, little round behind was starting to get sore and so were my hands. "Where are ya', you diseased vermin!" I roared flailing my arms about. I didn't bother looked up until a bright yellow beak poked my nose and beady, little onyx eyes stared back at me, my reflection depicting a reaction I can describe only as a 'what-the-fuck' moment. That fucking bird had the balls to hunker down on my head and dig its filthy little feet into my hair!

"Fuck you bird!"

"Squawk!"

"…" I jumped around, ran a few steps ahead and pointed my finger at the spot where I had stood with a victorious grin, but the stupid bird followed me and… "God damn…" The bird let out a mighty 'squawk' and landed on my head once more causing me to fall yet… again.

Half an hour of running around like an idiot trying to get rid of the bird and failing tired me out. The feathered mongrel refused to leave me be and opted to get comfy on my head. I was too tired to protest, so I let the ugly bastard sit there and pray he'd get bored eventually and leave me be, or at least refrain from pooping on my head.

"I'm stuck with you aren't I?" I grumbled at the bird.

"Squawk!"

Shrugging my shoulders plucking out a stray feather from my hair, I returned to my former position leaning on the railings. It was kind of relaxing having him on my head, the way his webbed feet and talons wiggled on my scalp felt kinda nice. Strange I know, but hey, having some company was better than having no company, right?

"So birdie, now that I'm stuck with you, what should I call you?"

"Squawk!"

I quirked an eyebrow and gave the bird a pat on the head, and surprisingly enough he leaned into the touch. I expected him to be kind of hard and smooth, but I was completely wrong. He was soft and fluffy… sort of squishy.

"Aha, I got it!" I beamed. "From this day forward your name shall be Squishy, and you shall be my squishy."

"Squawk!"

"Ahaha, you're a man of few words aren't ya', Squishy?" I asked the bird on my head. He lowered his head and pecked me between the eyes. "Ouch!"

"Squawk!"

"Well squawk-squawk to you too asshole."

"Squa—" Squishy's head shot straight up, his talons digging deeper into my scalp. I felt him wiggle uncomfortable on my head; I figured something had spooked him. An awkward silence wafted around us after that, only the sound of the water lapping up onto the shore and the random dings and dongs of the ships nearby could be heard.

"Fate-chan… what's with the bird?" My cousin's voice broke through the silence and rejuvenated the area.

I looked over to her with a languid smile and motioned her over to me. "His name's squishy," I told her as I poked him in the underbelly. He squawked at me and pecked me in between the eyes again to show his anger. "God damnit, ow!"

"Hehe," my cousin giggled. "Squishy here sure knows how to put you in your place, Fate-chan. But what an odd name for a bird."

"Shut up, Hayate!" I roared at her with a playful grin. I noticed she had two steaming paper cups in her wooly-mittened hands. "Anyways, what's with the coffee?"

Hayate stood up straight and relaxed as she got comfortable with the situation again. "I got off work about an hour ago and went down to your house so you could help me with my homework, but your mom told me that you weren't home… then she slammed the door in my face. I figured you would be down here since this is your 'special place' to come and think." Shuffling her feet anxiously, I noticed Hayate's face redden as she continued her story. "I thought I'd track you down and keep you company till you felt better. Is… that okay with you?" she asked me with hesitation in her voice. I patted the spot beside me with an inviting tilt of my head. She bounded over to me without a second thought and offered one of the cups, but she scooted away from me when a leering Squishy lowered his head and aimed his beak at her. "Fate-chan, he won't attack or poop on me will he?"

"He'll probably poop on me not you, so don't worry about it." I replied snatching the caffeinated drink away from my cousin and popping the annoying plastic lid off of the cup. The steam rose up to my nose and I gingerly sniffed it, it had a nice rich aroma, very strong, very bold. "You didn't make this right?"

"And what's that supposed to mean exactly?"

I winked at her and took a tentative sip of the steamy beverage. "Just because you work at a cafe, doesn't mean you know how to make coffee… or boiled water for a matter of fact."

"Haha, very funny, Fate-chan!" Hayate shouted with her rosy cheeks puffed out. "I've been working there for a while now; I can make coffee just fine! At least I make it better than Nanoha-chan does that's for sure."

I looked down at the black liquid and watched it ripple along with my shivers. A tiny smile tugged at the corner of my lips when I recalled one of Nanoha's recent coffee accidents. She flooded the kitchen and her parents go so mad she was sent to our house for the week. Luckily mother didn't care, as long as Alicia and I had dinner prepared on time. "Y-Yea… anyways, it tastes just fine." I took another sip and allowed the warm liquid travel down my oesophagus. "Needs more sugar though."

Hayate sniffled and shuffled closer to me. She then rested her head on my shoulder and let out a content sigh. "I like it when it's just you and me like this, watching the sea as the sun goes down. It's so romantic."

"Squawk!"

"Haha, you're forgetting about poor Squishy here." I said with a dry laugh. "He hasn't left yet."

"You're right," Hayate smiled, "sorry about that, Squishy."

I watched my cousin from the corner of my eye and gritted my teeth as I suppressed the fluttering sensation within my chest. She looked adorable from this position with her little red poof-ball toque, hand knitted scarf, and rosy cheeks from the cold. She was a small girl in stature; she was just tall enough to reach half way up my cleavage (which was her favourite spot on my body by the way). Whenever she spotted me, she'd immediately run over and bury her head there and just cling till Nanoha, or someone nearby, pulled her away. I think she'd be a bit taller if it weren't for her weak constitution. She was sick for most of her life, in fact she was wheelchair bound till about a year ago.

You see back when we were kids the doctors told us that she was losing the will to live because of her manic depression, but her immediate family and I knew that she was feeling this way because she was lonely. So I figured myself as some sort of hero and spent as much time with her as I could, and eventually my hard work paid off when she started perking up. Her mother was so surprised at Hayate's sudden improvement she suggested she go to school with me, because she believed I was the cause of the miraculous recovery. I was ecstatic when I was told Hayate would always be with me, but that joy was snatched away from me when she made new friends the very first day. With so many new friends and people around her, Hayate quickly gained the strength she needed to form a new will to live, while she slowly forgot about me somewhere down the road. I know that she didn't mean to do that to me; she actually blamed herself for my current state of being, so she's spending as much time with me as she could as atonement for her abandonment.

"Fate-chan, are you okay? You're looking at me all funny like." Hayate mumbled with a blush. I looked away shyly, but she whispered a quiet "don't look away" before I could coherently apologize for staring at her.

The wind blew past us causing her to duck in cover and huddle in closer to me. I felt rather embarrassed by it, but I blushed when she got closer. By now it's pretty obvious that I have feelings for my cousin, I know that this was sick and wrong, but she was my first love.

Her cheek was right against mine; it was soft and cool to the touch. I could smell her hair as the wind blew towards me causing some of her short locks of hair to drift over to my nose. It was a sweet, fruity smell that tingled the senses. I couldn't really pinpoint it since it seemed to be a mix between strawberries and something citrusy. It was just one of those smells that could catch your attention the moment it made itself apparent; however, it did suit her perfectly. It defined Yagami Hayate: spunky yet subtle.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I maundered my right arm around her. She stiffened up momentarily, but melting into my embrace when I ushered her to stand in front of me. I might not be able to protect her from much, but I can at least protect her from the cold.

"You're right, this is nice." I whispered in content.

"Yeah it is."

"Squawk, squawk…"

"Haha, I think Squishy's agreeing with us." Hayate said in glee.

I sighed and nodded my head, "I think so too."

Taking another quick glance at the older girl in my arms, I noticed the stray strand of chocolate-brown hair dangling in a precarious position. That loose hair would eventually poke her in the eye, and knowing Hayate she'd make a big deal over it, so I casually tucked it behind her hair and looked away when she turned to look up at me.

"Thank you…" she shyly mumbled.

"Y-You're welcome…"

"I love you, Fate-chan~"

Her sudden declaration startled me causing my hand to jerk away and push my almost empty coffee cup into the water below us. "H-Hayate! Don't say something so sudden like that! Jeez, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"What's wrong with me saying 'I love you' to my favourite cousin, is there?"

"N-Nothing!"

Hayate poked my cheek and prodded at the situation with one of her follow up questions. "Why was my Fatey-Watey so flustered when I said 'I love you'?" Hayate gasped out in surprise, "Oh em gee, maybe you are in love with me!"

"W-What!? Shut up! You're crazy, and stop with the rhyming!"

"Fate-baby, you're redder than a watermelon~"

"Watermelons are green you retard."

"Nu-uh, you just have to cut them up." Hayate chuckled as she corrected me. "Then they're moist and juicy~"

I gave her a wry grin and bumped heads with her. "I'm not in love with you, you sill raccoon-dog."

Hayate's smile faded faster than you can say 'heartbroken'. She turned herself around and looked up at me, her crystal clear blue eyes darkened as she looked at me with a half lidded gaze. I felt her hands grip onto my jacket as she stood up on her tiptoes.

"H-Haya—"

She had kissed me square on the lips and I was more than eager to respond. The kiss was teasingly good, but it wasn't anything like the ones I've had with Nanoha when she was in one of her friskier moods. Hayate was a good kisser, I'll give her that, but the kiss felt like she didn't want to do it. I tried to break away, but she pulled me back, even Squishy was startled by Hayate's sudden advance. The sound of something dropping and spilling caught my attention briefly, but the taste of Hayate's kiss was just far too inviting for me to want to ever stop. I figured that we just dropped our coffee, not much of a loss really.

"Squawk, squawk!" Squishy yelped, his wings flapping about while his feet stamped on my head. "Squawk, squawk!" He was acting just like that when Hayate appeared, so you can only guess my surprise when I saw Nanoha watching us with wide eyes and spilt coffee pooling around her feet.

I pushed Hayate away from me and took a few steps away from her. Nanoha stood there motionless with a shocked expression on her face. Her hands were frozen in the same position for the longest time, I thought rigor mortis had set in.

"Nanoha-chan, what are you doing here?" Hayate asked in disdain.

"I-I…"

"Well…?"

"I-I…"

I tried to walk over to her, but each step I took caused her to take another one back. "Nanoha, it isn't what you think…"

"I-I… I got to go." Nanoha quickly turned around and dashed off, her off-centered ponytail bobbing behind her.

Watching Nanoha fleeing from the scene prompted me to chase after her, but before I could even move an inch further Hayate had pulled me back to her. I tried to pull away from her, but the hold she had around me was too strong, too inviting. I was losing the strength to struggle and chase after the girl I loved.

Hayate's head buried itself into the crook of my spine, and the embrace she locked me in was beginning to hurt. A soft, ragged voice spoke up saying, "No, don't go. Don't leave me."

I stopped my struggling and let my arms drop to my sides. Something inside of me had broken at that moment. Hayate's stifled sobs had wrapped a choke chain around my heart and tugged at it. She had somehow managed to ensnare my former affections for her and forced them to resurface.

"Don't go, please… I can't take this pain anymore. I can't watch you hurt yourself over Nanoha-chan anymore." Hayate pulled away from me and took my hand as she looked at me straight in the eyes. "Fate-chan will always belong to me."

"Hayate…"

"Please…"

"I," Pausing momentarily, I looked back and couldn't see Nanoha anymore. "Okay."

Hayate drew me back into a tight embrace; her little mittened hands clung onto my jacket with a fierce grip. She nuzzled her head on my chest and sighed in content, the poof-ball on her hat tickling my cheek, but I couldn't shake the feeling like something was off about the situation.

"Squa-wak, squawk!"

Both Hayate and I looked up at the orange sky and realized that during our small scuffle, Squishy had been knocked off of my head forcing him to circle around us. He kept berating us with this angry cawing noise; I guess this was his way of saying "Squishy is not amused!"

"I think he really likes you, Fate." Hayate said in a somewhat taunting voice.

I shrugged at her and said, "I think so too."

"Squawk, squawk!"

"You're mom's going to kill you if you take him back with you."

"She doesn't have to know what she doesn't need to know."

"Squawk?"

~*すてき*~

Hayate and I walked together quietly, our joined hands tucked away safely in my jacket pocket. It had gotten significantly darker than when we left, and with the start of night fall, the cold air began to roll in. The wind blew and billowed about causing Hayate to shiver violently and walk closer to me; her free hand tugging down on her woolly hat to keep it from flying away. I couldn't bear to look at her and she couldn't bear to look at me, this whole thing was still a little weird to the both of us, but it was a rather nice and homely sensation.

We weren't the only ones walking on the sidewalk, so we often had to manoeuvre around the other pedestrians. The awkward thing about walking on such a busy street was having people look at us when we walked by them. It was like they saw us as some sort of sideshow instead of two kids just walking home and huddling close together to stay warm. I summoned up the courage to take a peek at my new girlfriend and saw that she looking away with a deep blush on her face, probably just as self-conscious as I was.

"I can let go if you want?" I mildly suggested.

Hayate looked up at me and shook her head, "No, it's okay, I like holding Fate's hand… it's warm." The timid little smile she had on her face, coupled with the heavy blush tinting her cheeks, Hayate looked adorable.

"Alright, if you say so."

"Un."

The initial awkwardness began to fade when Hayate and I struck a conversation. She had asked me about my band and the music we played, as well as the different live shows we've played at. I'm ashamed to say that I obsess about my band, and I'd blabber on nonstop whenever I got a chance to speak about them.

"We call ourselves 'Overturned' and there's actually a really funny story about how we chose that name." I explained to Hayate who looked riveted by the story I was about to tell. "Originally we called ourselves 'Juvenile' because we all had criminal records. I was busted for street fighting one night, but it was their fault for coming up to me. Tiana Lanster, our bassist, got booked for wielding her brother's firearm. It wasn't even real, but she somehow managed to beat the shit out of someone with it."

"Wouldn't she just have to throw it or hit him?" Hayate asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"You would think that, but Tiana can do some pretty freaky stuff when she's got something gun-like in her hands." I shrugged my shoulder and gave the small hand tucked within my own a squeeze. "Anyways, next is our drummer, Vice Granscenic, he got arrested for looking up girls' skirts amongst other things."

"Ah, finally a man after my own heart."

Shooting Hayate a wry grin I said, "You have no idea…"

"So we've got you, the bassist, and the drummer. Who else is there?"

"Well we've got our keyboardist, Nakajima Gi—"

"Gingin-chan?" Hayate gasped out in surprise. I chuckled at her expression and nodded my head. "But she's a good girl, very smart, very sweet. She's in the student council with me and Nanoha-chan, though she's often missing meetings becau—oh, it's your fault."

"Haha, sorry?"

"Guess she isn't that much of a good girl after all," Hayate giggled. "So what did she get arrested for?"

"Oh no, she never got arrested before, she just enjoys our company." I clarified, the odd look Hayate sent me told me exactly what she was thinking. "Strange, I know. Who'd want to hang out with a bunch of losers like us, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you and your band. You guys seem like loads of fun."

My body went ridged when those words left Hayate's lips. "No. No, you're not allowed to. I absolutely forbid it!"

"W-What, what!?" Hayate asked me with an irked expression on her face. I didn't know how to explain it without making her sound like a wimp. "Why, Fate?"

"W-Well… y'see… I—err…"

"Spit it out, Fate… why can't I hang out with you and your band?" Hayate pulled her hand away from mine and stood in front of me. Her eyes told me to tell her everything or else there would be hell to pay. I dug deep within myself and tried to pick out the words that could describe the situation best, but everything I thought up was just going to get her madder than she already was. We just began going out; I didn't want it to end before it even got started. "Fate, just tell me…"

"It's because I don't want you to get influenced by us…"

"Huh?"

I looked around and grit my teeth, I hated having to explain the things we did, and it was just hard to acknowledge the fact that we all had some sort of problem. Scratching the back of my head nervously, I looked at Hayate through my bangs and sighed.

"We're bad kids, Hayate. We drink and smoke at our gatherings—yes, even the Saint Ginga when she's stressed out, and that's pretty often. I don't want you to think of any of us any lower than most people do." I took a deep breath and approached Hayate cautiously. "Hayate, I know I don't look the part, but I'm actually really scared of what you'll think or say once you see me acting that way."

"Fate…"

"We get out of control at times; we even do a few hits of cocaine once in a blue moon."

"Even Gingin-chan?"

"No, she draws the line at drinking and smoking. She'd never go near the stuff, actually she stays and around and laughs at us when we trip out. Once she brought a toy spider and threw it at us when we were all high."

"Yep, that sounds like her."

I chuckled and offered Hayate my hand. "I know right?"

"Un, so why exactly can't I come hang out with you and your band?" she murmured just before accepting my hand. "I really don't see a feasible reason why not."

I pulled her closer and enveloped myself with her alluring scent. "Because I don't want them to try and take you away from me while I'm inhibited."

"Oh big word, but okay, I understand…" Hayate returned the hug and took her place back by my side again. "So far you've only told me about the bassist, the drummer, and the keyboardist. What about the guitars and singers?"

"Our lead guitarist is none other than Subaru Nakajima, y'know Ginga's little sister, she got arrested for mild vigilantism."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"You would think so, but that girl was running around wearing some weird costume screaming out 'DIVINE BUSTER' and punching the shit out of the druggies at strange hours of the night…" I face palmed at the embarrassing memory. "Ginga was so embarrassed she locked herself in the closet."

"So I guess this means Gingin-chan came of the closet?"

"Oh how mature, Hayate."

"Why thank you."

Wrapping my arm around Hayate's shoulder, I realized something. I was enjoying this. I enjoyed being with Hayate and that it didn't hurt. She was funny and sweet, and the way she focuses only on me eased my trouble heart… first love really was the sweetest of all loves.

"Well that's pretty much it."

Hayate shook her head and tapped me on the nose. "Nu-uh, you forgot to mention what you did for the band."

"I handle rhythm guitar, vocals, and song writing."

"That's sexy." The smile Hayate had on her face slowly turned upside down as a guilt stricken expression washed over her. "Wow, just wow… I can't believe how much of your life I've missed out, while you've been there for me through everything."

"Of course I was there, we're cousins."

Hayate shook her head once more and silenced me with a kiss. We stood there for what felt like forever, feigning ignorance to the disgusted and mortified stared of those around us. It was bliss.

"I kinda liked that…"

"I did too…"

Looking into the older girl's eyes made my heart soar, I felt like I finally found a home to call my own. "Hayate, is this wrong?"

"Hm, what is?" she asked as we continued to walk.

"I mean… us. Is this wrong? We are cousins after all..."

The surprised look on Hayate's face was priceless, but when she began to laugh out loud I thought I was missing something from the big picture. "Silly Fate, we're second cousins. Sure we're related, but barely."

"Really?"

"Yep. I think I'm actually more related to your crazy mother than I am to you."

"So there isn't anything wrong if I asked whether or not you're free this Saturday?" Honestly, I felt a little nervous about asking Hayate such a question. Was I being too forward or was I just over thinking things? Either way, I wanted to hide under a rock and never come back out. It's been forever since I've asked anyone out for a date; I think I might be a little rusty.

"Ehh, sorry. I'm busy that day… maybe next time?"

"U-Uh sure!" A nervous laugh rumbled through my throat as I tried to will down the heated blush on my cheeks. "But do you mind if I ask what you're doing? Maybe we can still go see a movie and have dinner after whatever it is your doing."

"I dunno," Hayate shrugged her shoulders. "I have a date with my new girlfriend that day, so I don't think I should hang out with my cousin…"

"You bitch."

The gleeful expression Hayate held was breathtakingly beautiful. "Hey I can make you my bitch any day, Fate. I'm actually quite dominant."

"Please tell me that you aren't a dominatrix… please…"

"Is that bad?"

I scooted away from her and sighed, "You're joking right?"

"Maybe~"

"Seriously?"

Then Hayate got serious, "Do you want to find out?"

"W-What!?" The look she had on her face was as scary as the face Nanoha had on when Hayate stole her panties and wore them on her head. No, this face was much worse. "What did I get myself into?"

"I wouldn't mind putting you in your place." The seductive allure lacing Hayate's words caused my mouth to go try. She reached up and placed her index finger on my jaw and traced it, then brought it down and trailed the crevasse between my breasts in a slow tempting manner. "I'd whip you into shape and make you cry my name out."

"H-Hayate, you're scaring me…"

"Maybe I should call Nanoha-chan and make her watch, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Hayate, stop it. You're freaking me out."

"And I won't stop until you beg for mercy and call me 'Daddy'."

That was the final straw. Hayate and I looked at each other with serious faces, but as the time ticked on our strong facades crumbled down and we burst out into laughter as we continued on our way.

"Fate, you never did tell me why you guys changed your band named to 'Overturned'."

"Simply put… our gig van flipped over when Tia parked it in a ditch."

"Was she—?"

"Sober. Completely sober."

~*すばらしい*~

I trudged through the hallways of my school with my hoodie up and my headphones over them. The hood acted as a buffer for the loud music, but even with my music up so loud… I still couldn't ignore the sound of my heart pounding.

It's been like this for about a week now, at least from what I recall. Nanoha hasn't spoken to me or even looked at me since she caught Hayate kissing me. She hasn't even stopped by my house to pick up Alicia, so the walk to school has been pretty bland. Every day since Nanoha stopped showing up became a drag. The walks with my twin were so annoying I decided to just drive the idiot to school and dash off the moment she got off of my motorcycle.

As much as I love scaring the living shit out of my twin when I drove, I couldn't deny the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I knew something was out of place, and I knew that 'thing' was Nanoha. Without her loving presence around me the music refused to flow. My music sheets were a dreary white and the words I used to be able to eloquently jot down became cheesy and corny. For once in my not so average life, I acted like your regular lovesick teenager…

Even though I was with Hayate now, I still couldn't shake the feelings I had for Nanoha. Every waking making moment was filled with guilt and wonder. Was Nanoha jealous of Hayate and me? Did she miss me? Was she okay and is Yuuno still hitting her? So many questions, so little answers, yet so much time to think about them. I really like being with Hayate, she makes me happy. My world was starting to spin out of control and all I can really do is wait and find out if it'll keep spinning or slowly come to a stop.

Hayate's classroom was nearby and lunch was in about five to six minutes. I was suspended from school a week ago because I gave a teacher the finger. Hayate stood up for me and lowered my sentence from two weeks to one. It totally rocked dating someone from student council!

"I object! Sensei, we need more time to finish our projects!" Hayate's muffled voice echoed through the hall. Last I checked the classroom walls were pretty thick, so I wondered how the hell did Hayate's voice break through.

"Hehe, aw jeez…" I mumbled with a goofy grin on my face.

The moment I heard Hayate's voice, no matter how distant it sounded, all my worries and my troubles seemed to vanish. I felt calm and for once I could forget about my little condition. Just thinking about her and the things we'd be able to do together made me eager. Reconnecting with Hayate was really making me change my mind about life.

I leaned against the wall close to the door with my hands in my pockets and waited. I inspected my clothes and hoped they were okay. Hayate maybe an… 'otaku', but she was well respected amongst her peers and I didn't want to smear that. Deciding that I should tone my image down a bit, I went with some clothes I didn't think I'd ever wear again. Since the last I wore these I've lost a bit of weight, of course not enough for anyone to really notice.

The lunch bell blared and students were running out faster of class than the time Hayate blew up a frog during a science experiment. I still remember the surprised look on Hayate's face while she was covered in frog guts; it was a real sight to be seen.

"Haha, thanks for getting us that extension, Yagami-san." A boy said before he exited the class. "I owe you one!"

"You can repay me with bacon!" Hayate replied with a grin. "Honey glazed or no dice, Price-kun!"

She didn't notice me standing there, so I figured it was perfect for a sneak attack. Hayate walked passed me, still unaware of my presence, her bright smile catching me off guard for a mere moment. She waved to her friend and ran a hand through her hair, the strands weaving through her fingers like water. Hayate was even more interesting than I thought.

"Hayate!" I shouted pouncing on her from behind, my arms wrapping around her shoulders. I waited for the shriek of surprise, but to my own surprise she calmly leaned back into my embrace and smiled kindly at me.

"I was wondering when you'd stop playing statue. You were starting to scare my classmates."

I looked back at her dumbfounded, "You knew I was there?"

"Well, duh…" Hayate said with the roll of her eyes. "Who can ignore a fix foot giant wearing a black sweater?"

"Should I return to my ninja training then?" I asked her.

Hayate turned around and embraced me, her head just above my heart. "Hm, forget the ninja training you still gotta graduate high school." I felt my blood run cold and the girl I found so angelic suddenly became my worst nightmare. Hayate pulled away from me and shot an 'I know what you're thinking' stare at me followed by one of her terrifying frowns. "I refuse to date a high school dropout, so you either crack open those books or I'll crack open your skull."

"Neither option sounds very nice to be honest." I mumbled with a grim expression.

Hayate was a pretty serious girl by nature, she if it weren't for her wisecracks, perversion, and welcoming personality… Hayate was downright scary. She always made good on her promises and most especially her threats. I remember a time when she told me she'd dye my hair pink if I didn't do well on a test. It took me ages to get my hair back to normal; my sister wouldn't stop laughing at me, and Nanoha could barely keep a serious face on when we were together.

"Then you best get to studying." Hayate said with a wink.

I laughed at her and shook my head. I actually wondered if I should get serious about school again, Hayate was top ranking along my sister and Nanoha, I was the only one with a steady average of fifty percent. In fact I was the only one in my family to have such bad grades. Like my sister, I was smart. I was brilliant even! I excelled in mathematics and English, but my sister was amazing in physics and German. We were pretty much tied in everything but those specified subjects; actually she bests me in physical education as well, not that I could really do anything about it. I really enjoyed running around and playing, but I have frequent dizzy spells and if I move around too much I end up losing my breath. I have an actual condition that's worsening, but I'm too full of myself to let anyone know… or I could just be scared.

"I have a question, Hayate." I removed both my arms from her and shoved them into my pockets. I looked around curiously and asked, "Do you want me to try and be a good student?"

Hayate looked up at me strangely and replied, "Yeah, I do. This is your future, Fate… you should be trying your best."

"What if," I awkwardly shifted my eyes away from hers, "I don't exactly have a future?"

"Huh?" Hayate laughed at me and grabbed hold of my arm. "Fate, stop talking this nonsense… it's scaring me. I thought you wanted to be some big shot musician."

"What if I didn't have much time left… y'know, to live?"

"Well with all that stuff you do, of course you're cutting your time short."

Looking into Hayate's unforgettable eyes, I dug in deep and saw that she was truly scared of my question and it's literal probability. "Y'know… forget I said anything just now. I've got my motorcycle parked outside and I wanna take you out to lunch." I said trying to lighten the mood. Cousin or not, Hayate was just too much of a sweet kid to bear with me and my problems.

"Y-You have a motorcycle!?"

I quirked my eyebrow and nodded my head. "I've had it for a while now…"

"When!?"

"Er, last year."

"How'd you even get the money for that?" Hayate's questions seemed endless, yet I didn't mind answering.

"I write songs and sell them. I'm what you call a ghostwriter." Shuffling on my spot, I looked up at the hanging clock and back down to the people curiously watching us; I tilted my head and took a step forward. "You can ask questions on the way, I don't like having… so many people stare at me."

"Well you're wearing all black, the only color on you right now is your hair and eyes." Hayate crossed her arms and grinned. "You're like one of those Deatheaters from H.P."

I felt my eye suddenly twitch, something about Hayate's comment weirded me out. I don't know why, but sometimes I wonder if she has split personalities, y'know like her cute side, her natural born leader side, and her… uh, hm… I guess this side of her could be called 'Hayatesque'. It's hard to describe, she's like onion, so many layers that caused me many tears as a child.

"Hey Fate, you're zoning out on me. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," I blushed and shook my head to regain my composure, "You're weird."

"So says the girl with mold in her room."

"Bathroom. It's bathroom mold, and stop insulting my mold!"

Hayate began laughing and used the wall as a way to keep herself standing. Was defending my pet mold really that hilarious? Me and that thing grew up together! It was like a brother to me, a possibly deadly brother, but a brother nonetheless. It was also much quieter and nicer than my sister, so I greatly approved of it.

"First, you've got mold in your bathroom and now you have a seagull as a pet," Tears began to form at the edges of Hayate's eyes as she continued to laugh. "What next? A lobster name Rob—oh, oh whatever happened to that fruitcake you planted in the backyard?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn. Hayate's never laughed at me this much since Alicia wet her pants in kindergarten and I took the blame for it. We went up on stage at the same time side by side, Alicia was so scared she lost control and gave me her most desperate/scared face. I ended up acting like her and insulted myself… it took three years for people to forget that, and we transferred schools!

"Well, Arf dug that up and ate it." I was tempted to tell Hayate that Alicia was the one that planted the fruitcake, not me… but I remembered the eager face my sister made when she planted it. I ended up planting a real tree in its place.

"Whatever happened to Arf?" Hayate asked me with innocent curiosity. "I haven't seen her in a while."

"Well… that's because she died about two years ago."

"I… I'm sorry."

Hayate caught a glimpse of the time and decided we better just stay in the school. I would've been okay with that, as long as I got to stay near her I was happy, but just before I could suggest that we should just go down to the cafeteria, Hayate said she had to go to student council and ran off. I agreed to just see her later, but deep down I was a little sad. It took me a lot of courage to come out here today… only to get shot down. I waved to her, but it was too late. Hayate had bolted down the hallway and disappeared from sight. For a girl that spends most of her time eating potato chips and reading manga, she sure can run.

After two minutes of self contemplation and another minute to snap myself out of it, I forced myself into the classroom Hayate exited from not too long ago. Hayate, myself and Nanoha were all in the same class while my sister got stuck in a different one. It was like this since junior high. The three of us would always be in the same class and my poor twin would be stuck all alone with the, and I quote: "snot faced losers with shit for brains".

Seeing the class was kind of nostalgic, but it still brought me great pain. I remember spending every second of class gazing intently at Nanoha's back, daydreaming of her and what we could be. I remember I had the stupidest of smiles plastered on my face whenever I wandered off into Wonderland. In that magical world Nanoha was my princess and I was her prince. She was happy with me and as long as she was smiling the world we resided in was in peace and harmony.

I was so happy just being able to watch her, it made me feel better knowing she was nothing but an arms' length away from me. I had her in my grasp even though people thought we hated each other. I missed that time, it was so much easier.

"F-Fate-chan, what are you doing here?"

I whirled around and stumbled on a desk; my back painfully hit the edge just before I tumbled back and landed on my head, my neck bending awkwardly so my head just grazed my collarbone. I thought the pain would've ended there, but as always, I was wrong. I managed to crack an eye open only to have it sealed shut when my right knee crashed into it.

"Fate-chan!" My ears were ringing, but I could still hear Nanoha's voice break through. "Oh my gosh, Fate-chan, are you okay!?"

"Uhnn…" I groaned.

"Fate-chan, what the hell are you doing!?" Nanoha screeched. Immediately I felt her hands grab hold of me as she tried to straighten me out. "Jeez, I thought you were supposed to be graceful…"

"Alicia's the graceful twin; I'm the adorable but clumsy twin with the sweet rack." I replied with a huff.

Nanoha placed a hand on my head and pushed my fringe up, revealing my eyes. Her hand hovered over my forehead temporarily before pulling away. "I-I… you know what's funny?"

"Hm?" I managed to sit up straight, but the kink in my neck continued to pulsate in regular intervals. Fuck it hurt. Jesus Christ, whoever it was that invented the desk should drop dead. Evil contraptions from hell.

Nanoha stared into my eyes and smiled an expression that I haven't seen in months. "I forgot how pretty your eyes are."

"Nanoha," I said, "Go look into my sister's eyes. I bet she'd care more about what kinda bullshit you're spouting than me."

"I suppose I deserved that."

"Damn right you did." I pulled on my collar and smoothed out my sweater, a nervous habit I procured from my drama club days. I didn't want to be near Nanoha, not right now at least. Not while both my heart and mind were in such a jumbled state. I couldn't bear to look at her, but I also couldn't stand not being beside her—a need I didn't want… I guess.

A piece of me wanted to reach out and hug her, but another told me that she might just think it was sexual harassment and call her 'boyfriend' to have him lynch me. I didn't know how to act around her and it pained me to act this way. I knew everything about her, yet I knew absolutely nothing. Why was love so annoying?

"Nanoha, I… I want to know why you do this." I tried to find the right words to express myself, but they just wouldn't come. "I don't understand how you can stay with what's his face and put up with his abuse while you can be with me instead. Is it because we're both girls or is it because you're scared of what might be? Ne, tell me Nanoha…"

The silence swivelled around us like silken threads weaving us together. I was scared to hear Nanoha's reply, honestly I didn't want to hear it, but I needed to. I needed to know why she allowed herself to get hurt—no… I needed to know that this shit wasn't my fault. I needed to know that my passed actions didn't set this trap and that the reason why Nanoha stays with him is because she's scared to see what kind of future she'd have with me. Who am I kidding exactly? What kind of future could Nanoha have with someone who was dying from more than one cause?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Fate-chan."

I grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked at it to snap me out of my stupor. "You know very well what I mean, Nanoha. Why the fuck are you fooling around with me, with my heart, when you obviously don't have feelings for me?" I yelled. "Are you doing this because you don't want me to be with anyone else, or are you doing this because you want to be selfish? Tell me Nanoha; tell me why you keep toying with me!"

Once again silence weaved around us, the threads of reality and desperation drawing us closer. The look in Nanoha's eyes was murky and shrouded in uncertainty, something I was once able to cleave through and clear… but the times have changed and now I couldn't get passed the smog surrounding Nanoha's troubled heart.

"Ne, Fate-chan…" Nanoha said as she cupped my cheek. Her hand was so warm, and if she held onto me much longer I'll be butter melting through her fingers. "Do you remember our first kiss?"

"How can I forget?" I muttered darkly. "You tried to drown yourself and I had to give you mouth to mouth resuscitation. It wasn't exactly a fun experience…"

"Er—right, I forgot about that." Nanoha giggled sheepishly and smoothed out her skirt. "I mean the real one. Y'know, that nervous kiss that took us forever to do."

"You mean the one where you sneezed on me?"

Crimson flared on Nanoha's cheeks as she recalled the moment. "No. The one before we did it," she blurted out shamelessly, her blush deepening to a darker red. "You remember it! You have to!"

Now it was my turn to blush. I could remember that moment vividly, but I always thought it was a dream. It was just too farfetched to have actually happened. I was nine, she was barely ten, and while cleaning her brother's room we stumbled upon his secret stash of po—oh dear God.

"Hah, I knew you remembered it!"

"That can't be real!"

Nanoha looked down at her chest and puffed it out. "Of course they're real! Yours look more out of proportion than mine do."

"You're Japanese, a meagre arsenal like that can't be compared to my superior genetic upbringing." I replied with a snarky tone.

"I'm going to kick your ass for that!"

That's when it hit me. Why the hell was Nanoha acting like this? "What the fuck is wrong with you, woman!?" I scrambled away from Nanoha and got back on my feet. She looked up at me with a teary eyed expression and pleaded for me to come back. "Nanoha, answer me. What's wrong with you now? Why'd you bring up that old story?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Something seems off about you." I couldn't place it, but Nanoha just seemed so weird. "You're all… glowy and bubbly. Where's the Nanoha that liked to suffer in silence? I liked her better; at least she spent time with me instead of forcing herself on me whenever we're alone."

The beautiful girl before me cocked her head and smiled—damn that smile, makin' me fall for her all over again. "I miss you."

"Er… right."

"No really, I mean it…"

A sinking feeling began to creep up on me and the need to run away grew stronger. Nanoha was here, right for the taking, but I made a commitment to Hayate… w-what should I do? I love Nanoha, but she's being retarted with that ferret. Hayate's my cousin—wait, she's second cousin—and I like her… sorta.

"Lunch is almost over. I-I gotta go…" Taking a step back, I continued to fight back my carnal urges…

"Fate-chan," Nanoha cooed, "I love you…"

"No…"

"Don't go, stay with me…"

"No…"

My mind reeled back the moment I felt Nanoha's arms wrap around me. She smelled so good, nothing like Hayate. She felt so warm and inviting, but at the same time she felt dangerous and risky. My breathing picked up, my puffs of air coming in shorter intervals each time. Nanoha didn't seem to notice it, but I was beginning to feel nauseous… oh no.

"I got to go!" I shouted out as I pushed Nanoha away from me. "I'llseeyoulater. Baibai."

Nanoha chased after me, her hand grazing my arm briefly before I exited the room. "Don't run to her! You belong to me. I'm the only one that should love you, Fate-chan, don't you see! Hayate's just using you, you know this!"

'Lies, all lies…' My vision was blurring and my chest hurt, but I couldn't deny I had those very suspicions about my 'girlfriend'; everything just seemed so out of place with her.

I could feel my heartbeat palpitate and my grasp on reality slip. I could barely walk straight, my shoulder crashed into the wall closest to me and my feet stumbled over each other—Tiana! I raised my right hand and forced it to clench and unclench. The trembling scared me, but I needed to get to my phone. "T-Tiana…" I called out weakly. My hand fished around my pocket, fumbling with the trinkets and wrappers tucked inside. "Tia…" Finally I felt the cool metal that could only belong to my cell-phone or keys; hopefully it was the phone I'd pull out. Thankfully I was right and flipped open the device, my thumb hovered over the numbers, my eyes unable to focus. 'Just press one,' I told myself. 'Just press one.'

Du-ru-ru-ru… du-ru-ru-ru du—

"What is it now, Fate?"

Hearing the sound of Tiana's voice soothed me. It was going to be alright as long as Tiana was there. "H-Help…" I whispered just as the darkness engulfed me and the cold tiled floors welcomed my body.

As long as Tiana is here… everything… wi-will… be fine… as long as Tiana… is here… everything will be… fine… as long as… T-Tiana… ahn