Warning: Bad grammar n tenses, so beware. Every mistake solely mine. Harry Potter not mines. Slash n m – preg. ;D
Heya. Sorry I can't up dating this story for a long time. Something came up at my work place.
So... Airis Hanamori asked me if I had a beta. My answers would be no, I don't have any beta. I don't even know how to find one let alone have one. But I used to has someone to beta-ed some of my stories. I can't asked her anymore because she's been busy with her new work and all. I don't wanna to disturbed her more than I already am. So.. I'm sorry you have to bear with my bad bad grammar again if you wanna read it. ;D
Harry squirmed in his seat, willing his scattered mind to focusing on Professor McGonaggal lesson in vain. He sighs forlornly as if asking why the skies still blue when he wish it was dark already. He can't wait to speak with his dad again.
'Should I call him dad?' he asked again for the untempt times to himself but he still can't made up his mind about such a simple thing.
And when the time was come, the moon begins to peek in the dark sky, Harry can't even stop his body to boils in anticipation. In the great hall when everybody chattered and ate their meals, Harry can't even taste the usually delicious food in front of him. He shoved the food around without eating it.
He kept on glancing at the teacher desk where Severus sat and ate stoically. Harry met his eyes when he stand up from his chair and inclined his head to the headmaster before he swept out off the great hall.
Harry exhales deeply. He glanced at Hermione and Ron to found out that his friends was watching him intently. Harry nodded at them before he shoves his chair softly and walked away from the crowd with Hermione and Ron right behind his heels.
"Do you think it would run smoothly? Hermione whispered softly as they descended hurriedly to the dungeon where Severus' private chamber located.
"I hope so." Harry whispered back. His hands shaking and his palms moist from sweat.
"I do really really hope so." Ron murmured skeptically at both of his friend.
"Have a faith, Ron." Hermione huffed loudly as she glance heatly at him.
"Faith and Snape never good in one sentence." He grouches softly as he rolls his eyes annoyingly.
"Just pray and we'll see in... a minute." Harry says as he stop in front of the portrait of a beautiful lady with red hair who sat lazily beneath the shadow of big tree. She turned her head when she felt the three students staring at her.
"Did you need something, Dear?" she asked them sweetly, her red lips curls in a beautiful smile.
"We'd like to see Professor Snape, Ma'am." Harry answered firmly though his heart beats so fast inside of his ribcage.
"Who exactly are you, Deary?" she purred curiously as she sashayed closer to the three students, her eyes shone with delight and interest. "Such an interesting creature indeed." She purred loudly, her golden eyes never left Harrys' face but her face lighting up with glee. Harry gulped loudly when the beautiful woman tilted her head, her eyes never left him. Her eyes bored into his own with an intense feeling, like she could read his most intimate secret just by looking into his eyes.
"I'm.. umm... we – we're his student from Gryffindor." He stammered, his eyes still glued to the golden eyes before him. He seems can't avert his eyes from the one before him.
"Interesting indeed." She is giggling lightly, her lithe hand covering her small lips as she laughed. "Because, you know, he never invited some students to his private chamber before." She smile shyly, she looked at him from her lashes coyly.
"W – well, there's always the first times for everything, right?" Harry begin to sweatdropped nervously.
"But..." she pursed her lips sweetly, her face shone her disappointment. "never with Severus, don't he." Her face morphed in a second, from an innocent woman to mischief ones. She grinned widely like a Cheshire cat whose got a canary in her mouth.
"Well, that's for us to know and for you to shut up." Hermione fumed as she took over the conversation. She's done with all the blushing and stammering for the nasty woman before her and for her stupid friends for falling into her traps. 'Men and their pea brain for falling to a beautiful woman' she gritted her teethes in irritation.
Harry squeaked in surprised as he whipped around to saw a grouch Hermione who glared heatly at him. "Umm.. Mione, hey. I bet you should talks to her." He said in relief as he step aside for her girl friend to take control from him.
"Could you tell him that we're here already?" Hermione asked, her voice sullen but her glared never left from Harrys' face.
"Why so fast?" she snide as she spoke at Hermione like she was a very annoying dirt who land in front of her feet.
"Because we've got more important matter than chatting absentmindedly with paint like you here," Hermione scoffed as she looked around her with a distasted.
"YOU LITTLE B –" she hissed angrily, but before she can finished her sentences, the door before them opens without a sound.
"What did you think you're doing screaming around like an idiot in front of my door?" He drawled blankly, his eyes shone no emotion as he looked around from the golden trio to his door keeper.
"Well, I'm just chatting." The woman pouted cutely at the dark haired man as he quirked his eyebrow in displeasure.
"I never knew that chatting been done with screaming and calling names such the "B" one." He scoffed loudly at the now blushing woman.
"You know me, Severus." She huffed lightly, "I don't like it when you're in distress or unhappy. You know it too." She whispered softly before she walked away from the scene, back to her shades of tree. Severus stayed silent before he glared at the golden trio again.
"And what in Merlin names do you think you're doing screaming around at my dormitory hall like an insane person?" he hissed loudly at the three teenagers in front of him.
"I already asked her to tell you, Sir, that we've been in front of your door." Hermione said bravely though her face paling from Severus scolded.
"That she'd called me the moment you asked about me. All you have to do was keep your mouth shut and wait, not made such a ruckus." He sneered at them. "Get inside and shut the door behind you." He stalked back to his living room, leaving the still stunned teenagers behind him without care.
"That's... quite a success, I think." Ron said nervously, "and I think we should get inside before someone saw us standing still like an idiot in front of our most despised potion teacher." Ron said to wake both of his friend from their shock.
"Yes, of course." Hermione said as she walked inside nervously. Harry scurried along behind her like a confused puppy, leaving Ron behind to shut the door. They came into the warm living room where Severus standing still in front a fireplace. The fire enveloping him into a melancholies aura.
"Sir.." Harry said softly as they sat down on the couch before the fireplace. Severus looked up from the fire as he grabbed a firewhiskey and pumpkin juice for the teenagers who's sitting down before him.
"Before you asked me anything, let me asks something from all of you." He sighs softly as he sat down at the seat right before them, his long finger kneading the bridge of his nose. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other before they nodded in consent.
"Is it important?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Yes, it is. For the safety of all of you and mine too." He leaned back, but his eyes never left them any minute.
"Okay." They said simultantly.
"Muffiliato" Severus whisper softly, "So, though I knew about Harrys' ability with 'Occlumency' and 'Legimens' I would like to know about both of you." Severus asked seriously.
"I never learned about it." Ron grunted loudly, his face heated in humiliation.
"I'm adequate." Hermione said, she tilted her chin with proud. "Even without teacher, I still could done it by myself." She smiles proudly.
"That's-" Severus said in grimace. "not good enough if you want to know about what you're gonna asked to me tonight." Severus shakes his head slowly. "It's about very important information and if you don't have a good ability with Occlumency and Legimens, I'm afraid I couldn't indulge you with it." Severus sighs heavily. He raised his hand when the golden trio begun to opened their mouth in protest.
"But sir-"
"There's no but, children." Severus eyes harden with their insolences. "It's about an opportunity and peoples' lives. It's not a child games that you play anymore. This information can be deathly to some people even to all of peoples. You don't play with important information with Voldemort." Severus gritted his teethes hard. "You can't even guard your own mind, you don't even know which image was yours or him, you can't fool him in your own mind. How could I gave you such an important information if he could get inside your head so easily where he could just read it right from your mind like a book. The risk are too great." He snapped at them hard. They flinched and shut their opened mouth up.
"How can I learned about it if you never teaches me?" Harry growled at him, furry shone from his eyes. "You never teaches me anything. You –"
"And you just gave up just because I can't teaches you?" He snapped back. "Did you try hard enough? Did you looking out for someone beside me to teaches you? Don't make me laughed." He hissed loudly at him. "Even Miss Granger could teaches herself without anybody has to teach her. What did you want? Want me to feed you up with everything? And you asked me not to treat you like a child. Be real."
Harrys' face heated with shame, he's so furious but he can't say anything to the man before him. He just stares at him with guilt and disappointment.
"Why can't you teaches him? You're the best occlumency and Legimens at Hogwarts." Ron frowns at him in disapproval. "You just don't want to teaches him, do you?" He sneered at him. Severus rolls his eyes in exasperated.
"It's not about you, stupid fools." He snapped at them. "Think beyond yourself, think like someone else especially a Slytherin or maybe Voldemort." He said with sneered. His eyes glinted coldly. Hermione pales as she looked at Severus' face.
"It's not safe at Hogwarts, right. Voldemort have his ears all around here. That's why you cast muffiliato before we spoke." She drawled bravely though her hands shake with shock. "Voldemort knew everything that happens in this school, right?" Hermione looked straight into Severus eyes, never left the mans' face, hoping she could get the answer by the tick of his muscles.
"Excellent, Miss Granger. Did you have another conclusion?" He quirked his eyebrow at the smart girl.
"Headmaster gave you an order to teaches Harry in private, but anyhow he got that information." She stops for awhile to see his reaction and when he nodded lightly, she continued her speech. "If you teaches Harry, he could drawn 2 conclusion. First, you and Harry became closed and he would order you to brought Harry to him and of course you couldn't refuse without uncovering yourself as a spy. Second, if you teaches him and somehow he can't got inside Harrys' head anymore, he would killed you without a second thought and we lose a spy inside his circles." She inhales softly when she finished her tirades.
"Good thinking, Miss Granger." He inclined his head lightly, his lips curves lightly in a slight smile. "Everybody in death eater circles only knew that I hate Potter all of my life." He sighs tiredly. "And when his son came into my care, I would do anything to made everybody in inner circles knew that I still be grudged with Potter, no matter how." His eyes become glassy as he spoke softly. No body dares to open neither mouth nor moves, they're afraid a little movement or voices could stop him from telling them the real story.
"Did you know, the reason I got into death eater was your father." Severus looked straight into Harrys' eyes. "He tormented me everyday and I'm so sick about it. Six years, he bullied and humiliated me in front of other students while at my own home my father abused me night and days. I'm wondering everyday, is it a sin in hoping for the hurt to stop? Is it a wrong thing to ask to be left alone? Is it my fault to be hated just because I'm existed? I always wondering everyday, would it be better if I was never been born?" He smiles bitterly.
"I had no friend except Lily and your father made sure I lost her too. I'm all alone in this world without anybody to hang on. I got no one to depended on and I'm so lost. And wonderfully, the first person who gave me kindness and hope was Voldemort and I trusted him like a fool I am." He laughed bitterly as he averted his eyes to the fire. "But in the end, he just likes everybody. He used me and thrown me aside when I've no use anymore. And prayed to tell me," he asked lightly, "I'm a spy with a hatred to your father, if you're in my position, would you teaches the son of your enemy wholeheartly especially if there's so many Voldemort spy all around you and maybe Voldemort himself inside the boy's head?" Severus asked, his long finger taps his temple lightly.
The three teenagers stayed in silent. Their face shows regret, guilt and sadness. Harry bites his lips softly as he shook his head. "I'm not asking your pity or anything." Severus sighs loudly. "What I'm asking you was to grown up. It's not the time to be children anymore, I'm so sorry." Severus speaks softly. "We're on war and you're his foremost enemy, you can't be childish anymore, Harry, if you wish to live." Harry looked at the man before him.
"I wish you could have a perfect childhood, but you can't. Not when Voldemort still around. You'll be dead if you still clinging on your childish thought. Thinking outside the box, be creative, think fast. You're gonna need it. And the most important is never given up." Severus says hard to the three teenagers. "There's noone for you to cling on when the war come. Though now not the time, it's time for you to learn to be independent. And like I said before, the secret would stay with me as long as you can't guarded you mind." Severus tilted his head stubbornly. "And I'm gonna lock your memories about our talked. This conversation could never leaked out of this room," Severus raised his arm again to stop their protest, "but everytime you get back into this room, your lock would be lift temporary until you mastered Occlumency and Legimens. Is that clear?" He glared at the insolent children in front of him.
They nodded simultantly with pout on their face. Severus rolls his eyes before his muffles voice can be heard by the three of them. They blinked with confusion when Severus finishes his chanting. "Is that all?" Harry said in confusion.
"I don't feel any differences." Ron speaks softly, disbelieve clearly on his face.
"What kind of spell is that?" Hermione squint her eyes in curiosity.
"It's my invention, so don't waste your time to look for it." Severus scoffed at the girl lightly.
"So, you won't tell me anything before we could master it?" Harry looked at him with his puppy eyes.
"No, Harry, and that's final. Think of it as incentive for your hard work." Severus smile sweetly at his son. "Now, it's already late. You'll be coming here everyday after dinner to practicing Occlumency and Legimens in my office. Be insolence tomorrow so I can give you detention." Severus said as he stands up from his seat.
"Okay." The three of them nodded before they stand up and begin to walk to the front door. Harry stops for awhile and turns around.
"Can I hug you?" He asked timidly as he peered uncertainly from his lashes. Severus staring at the boy before him with disbelieves. He stares at him for a minute for any jokes or trap but when nothing happen but more nervous fibes, he opened his arms slowly. Harry looked up with surprise before his face broke into happiness. His lips stretched into beautiful smile as he jumped into his father arms for the first time.
A/N : Thank you for all the alerts and review you gave to me. Please tell me what you think about for this chapter. Thx..
