I hope all of you had a safe, and more than that, HAPPY Halloween. My Halloween was wonderful, check out my MYSPACE PROFILE for some pictures of my friends and I.
Here's the 4th chapter, and I won't update again until I get 5 reviews. That means, 2 more reviews on this story. Tell me what you think of what I'm working on;don't be shy. I'll always listen.
add my myspace. xoxo;JULiA.
CHAPTER 4---
The only bad thing about being famous is that everyone knows when you're fighting with someone. Dylan and I ended up on the cover of 3 magazines, with the famous headline of, 'Dylan and Julia, Feuding?' I hate this part of my life, and my job. I hate it so much.
I don't know what he's thinking, and it's killing me. I know that he knows its killing ME, but what if he's happy? I don't know. I slept all of 2 hours last night, almost going to his room to talk 5 times, while I was thinking. And I was thinking A LOT. I just don't see why I'm afraid to go and talk to him. That's never happened before, and I wish it never had. But, look at me now, I'm afraid to talk to him.
Didn't you know how much I loved you?
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby?
Gave you everything, every part of me.
Didn't you feel it when I touched you?
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby?
Baby tell me, didn't you know how much I loved you?
It really makes me wonder if this song was written about me. It's so weird how lyrics can depict emotions like this. Its how I feel right now, at this moment, and yet, I didn't write it. It's not my song.
I'm going home right now, and I'm gonna find him. I realized that I'm a crazy person to say no to him like I did. I have to get the courage, or else this is how my life will be. It will be unfulfilling, and boring. I'll go insane, and I really miss him. Hopefully, he feels the same.
I could feel him in the air. I saw his blue eyes, and then I knew that he was here. The expression of his eyes, it makes everything so clear. "Hey, can we talk?" I asked him, slowly, swallowing and walking toward him. He looked at me, and then answered, after a long pause. "Yeah, we can talk about anything. You know that already, Julia." I sighed with relief, and then got closer to him, only a step away.
"Look, I know I'm crazy to say no. And I just want to say that I was wrong, and that I'd love to stay with you forever." I exhaled deeply, all the nervousness staying inside of me, while everything else came out. He looked at me with an odd expression he had never displayed before, and then said, "Julia, you're just talking with what I want you to say. I can tell you don't want to do this, so it's fine. You aren't ready for that yet, and I understand. I don't want you to alter your emotions for me, ok?" His words came so clearly, but weren't making sense.
"I don't get you anymore, why did you change? I'm the same girl I've always been, and you're changing your whole mind, and not thinking like yourself. I don't get you. I tried, Dylan, and I really care about you, but whatever. I guess we're not as grown up as we both thought." I said, slowly and softly, walking away from him, and up the stairs.
The blue, soft tears fell down my cheeks, down my face. There's no hope, there's no point in trying. He'll just have to think, and when he realizes what I just said, hopefully, he'll see that I care about him. And then, just maybe, we'll be together. He promised me that when I was 16 years old, that he'd never leave me no matter what came our way in life, and Dylan never breaks his promises that he makes. I know he won't break this. He wouldn't do this to me….I hope he wouldn't. But, lets not forget, that I broke my promises once before, and that doesn't mean that he wouldn't do the same thing back to me.
I walked into my bathroom; my feet hitting the ice cold tile floor, making chills go up my spine. I flipped the switch for the lights, looking at my saddened face carefully. I just stood there a minute, and then finally got a hold of myself, when I was almost going to loose it. I looked up from the floor, where I was looking, into the mirror.
And as I looked at my reflection in my mirror, I whispered, "I will be strong." I let go of my fake smile, and the tears came faster and faster. I wiped my cheeks, and then went into my room, closing the door quietly. It's not supposed to end like this; it can't end like this.
