Here you go! A little later than I had hoped, sorry, but after this, update schedule will be back on track! I swear on my sister's life!

Idiots of the Train

Riley, once again, was attempting to retain bits of her sanity. James, Sirius, and Peter had been giggling the entire way to King's Cross, and Remus was ignoring it all, not even helping her. And, to top it all off, she was stuck in the middle, right between James and Sirius.

And she was about to throw them all out the window.

Fortunately, there were about five minutes left in their ride to King's Cross, but when they got there, she would be stuck on a train with them for the entire day. She could seek some sanity with Lily, but Lily always sat with Snape, and she couldn't be near him for five minutes without a duel breaking out. And who knows where Bella and Alice might be.

"We're here," announced Mrs. Potter. The five tumbled out of the car(Mr. Potter had borrowed it from the Ministry) and they pulled their trunks out, Riley, Sirius, and James grabbing their owl cages. They swiftly ran through the barrier, and after a quick goodbye, boarded the train. Suddenly, Riley felt her eyes being covered, and the world went dark.

"Guess who?" asked a voice. Riley knew instantly it was Bella. According the soft giggles and exasperated breathing behind her, she could only assume that Alice, Lily, and possibly Mary were with her. And, judging by the boys' quick, angry breathing, Snape must be there as well. Though, way back from the rest of them.

"Dumbledore," guessed Riley, knowing herself to be wrong.

"Try again,"

"McGonagall,"

"Nope,"

"Slughorn?"

"Professors don't take the train, dummy,"

"I know that. Um… Godric Gryffindor!"

Apparently Bella was getting a little frustrated with her little game, because she felt someone step on her foot.

"Right, right. Bella, Lily, Alice, Mary, and Snape-pants," Bella's hands released her head, and Riley turned around, smiling, seeing that everyone was there, just like she predicted. Snape was not looking his happiest, though.

"How did you know that?" asked Bella, dumbfounded, as she hugged Riley.

"I'm a good listener," replied Riley, being pulled from hug to hug, before she held her arms out to Snape, a fake idiotic grin on her face. In return, she got a liquid-nitrogen-cold glare.

"So Mr. Grumpy Slytherin's not up for a hug. Seconds, anyone?" Riley offered, waving her arms a little bit, but frowned as Bella flicked her head.

"So, do you want to sit with us?" asked Alice, nudging her playfully.

"No, me and the boys are sitting together," she replied. Mary shook her head in mock disappointment.

"I'm afraid, this year, we won't be taking no for an answer," announced Bella, catching on.

"Sit with us. We can all smoosh into one compartment when we're about an hour away. It'll be funsies!" said Mary, grinning.

"No way!" Sirius said, but Riley shoved her elbow into his rib cage. Hard. Sirius grunted in pain.

"Sure,"

As soon as the two groups split, Snape began whispering furiously to Lily as the Marauders set off to find a compartment.

"Riiiillleeeyyy," whined James, tugging on Riley's sleeve.

"Whhhyyyy? We don't waaaaannnaaa sit with Sniiiiiv-" Sirius cut off once again, as Riley raised her elbow threateningly. He immediately shut up.

"I want to sit with my friends. It'llonly be for a while, and I guarantee you Snape will be gone before that happens," explained Riley, and the two piped down. They found a compartment fairly quickly, and settled down.


"Rolling the train tracks, Express 74-"

"Where did they get 74 from?" Peter whispered to Remus, who shrugged.

"-Remus let a big one, that blew us out the door!"

"Hey!" Remus said indignantly.

"The motor couldn't take it, the whole thing fell apart-"

"How do they know about motors?" Peter asked confusedly.

"The book, Pete," replied Remus.

"-all because of Remus' super-sonic PPBBTHHH!" James and Sirius made loud farting noises with their hands, then burst out laughing. Riley, who had developed an eye twitch around the fifth time of that song, finally lost control and flung her book at the two. Sirius stopped laughing abruptly as it hit him in the forehead, leaving a large red mark.

"Hey!" he cried indignantly, "I'm gonna tell Minnie you're abusing me!"

Riley, however, was ignoring him.

"Peter, I am going to exact horrible revenge on you for getting them that book of Muggle novelty songs," she growled, looking ferocious. Peter gulped.

"Loosen up, Ri!" laughed James, "hey Remus, how much longer until we're at Hogwarts?"

"How should I know?" he asked tiredly.

"Go ask the driver," Sirius replied. Remus, obviously not wanting to argue with the idiots, nodded, stood up, and walked out. The next few minutes passed silently, the three boys sensing the irritation of Riley, who had gone back to her book.

"One hour left," Remus announced, coming back in through the door. Sirius groaned, but James and Peter, already knowing not to argue with Riley, began pulling out their uniforms.

"Riley, Sniv-"

"I promise you, he will be gone. If not, he'll bolt as soon as we come. Change. Now," demanded Riley, in her most dangerous tone. Sirius put his hands up in surrender, and Riley nodded in satisfaction, retrieving her uniform. Once she had it all, she straightened up, and saw the four boys staring at her, James with eyebrows raised. Remus opened his mouth to speak, but she was already leaving, going to the compartment next door to change. The next compartment was surprisingly empty, so Riley locked the door and pulled down the shutter, humming an odd tune as she changed.

"Odd as ever, I see,"

Avihm! Long time, no see!

"Not see. Never see. I'm a voice. You can't see me,"

With an x-ray I can.

"What?"

Well, you're a big, pink, gooey gob of brain-ness.

"And you're an idiot,"

Why must you hurt me so?

"I'm your conscience,"

No… You're the Annoying Voice In My Head.

"Whatever,"

Do you think I'm mentally unstable? I mean, I hear voices, so…

"Voice. No plural. I'm the voice. You have counting troubles,"

Your mom has face troubles.

"I don't have a mom,"

Really? That's so sad!

"Idiot,"

Meh.

Coming out of her thoughts, Riley messily tied her tie, and opened the compartment door, stepping out to see the boys, fully uniformed and ready to go.

"You ready?" asked Peter, and she nodded.

"I saw Lily's compartment on my way to talk with the driver, so follow me," Remus said. The five shouldered their bags and followed Remus down the narrow corridor, Sirius and James skipping.

"Follow the leader, follow the leader, follow, follow, follow the-" Riley swung her bag into the back of James' head, and he stopped singing.

"You want to be next, Sirius?" she asked coolly, and Sirius shook his head, but the two resumed their skipping. They did not stop skipping until Remus opened a compartment door, gesturing the others in. Riley immediately plopped down next to Lily, forcing Snape out of his seat. The compartment seemed to have reducted in size with the arrival of five more people, and as soon as they had all found their seats, Snape stood up, and made to leave.

Lily spoke up, "You don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do," Snape didn't look back as he left, shutting the door harshly behind him. Lily gazed concernedly out the window, until Riley nudged her, bringing her back to earth.

"He'll be going to hang out with the other Slytherins, Lily, don't worry," comforted Riley. Instead of looking pleased, Lily only looked more concerned.

"I don't like those people he's hanging out with, Riley,"

"Snape may be a git, a prat, and a twat, but he wouldn't stoop as low as them. His moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, still, you have to trust him,"

"Such smart words from such an idiot. I'm impressed,"

"Aw, not you too,"

"Who else?"

"Avihm,"

"Who?"

"The voice in my head,"

"I don't think I want to know,"

"I assure you, you don't,"

The two girls looked up from their conversation, to see Sirius trying to open the window.

"Come on, you wimp! You're a wizard!" cajoled Bella, pointing to Sirius' wand he had in his back pocket.

"Good idea! Reducto!" Sirius pronounced, and the window split open, and Sirius stuck his head out in the pouring rain.

"No. No! You are not allowed to be that much of an idiot!" screeched Riley, and she grabbed the back of Sirius' robes, yanking him down, and he landed on his bum on the floor, rubbing his neck from where Riley nearly strangled him.

"That right there… That was messed up," he said, shaking the water from his hair in true dog-like fashion.

"Siri-poo-poo, if brains were bananas, there would be a lot of hungry monkeys scraping around on the inside of your skull," put in James. Sirius glared at him.

"Must you always insult me?"

"Will you go over there for a moment?"

"Why?"

"I want to talk about you, and I don't want you to hear,"

"Mean,"

"Fat,"

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am NOT!"

"Are TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"SHUT IT!" screamed Mary, glaring at the both of them, and they instantly shut their traps.


It sucks, doesn't it? I'm sorry, I thought, better a shorter, sucky chapter than no chapter at all. I use that excuse too much. Anyways, sorry I didn't write out their escapades at the Potters', or Remy's moon, but I got inspiration for this, and honestly, I suck at writing moons. Expect an update mid-next week. No promises, but I will try. Reviews help a lot!

Click the review button! It's ticklish! I swear! Try it!

Listening to: Change the World by V6