A Ranma\Multicross
For A Birthday: I knew that sounded familiar…. Episode 107046
by dogbertcarroll
Ranma wandered the radioactive pet section with the sign reading 'For all your radioactive induced, creature influenced power needs!'
He looked from cage to cage of small mammals and insects, each with slightly glowing eyes or some other visible sign that they weren't your average pet. He shuddered slightly and avoided the cat that was floating a couple of inches above the floor of it's cage.
Unnoticed by him however, a small familiar looking (to our readers) blue and red spider slowly descended, rappelling down a web line to land on his neck, looking for a good place to have a quick bite.
Nabiki was questioning Storeman on if there were any super villain packages that didn't come with 'megalomania' or 'must conquer world' added.
To her way of thinking, the villains got the really good skills when it came to building expensive and patentable items. Why take over the world when you could just invent something that would make you rich enough to buy a small island, like say…. Hawaii?
If she had to, she could even put up with megalomania. It didn't seem to harm Bill Gates's career after all.
"Owch!" Ranma slapped the back of his neck just missing whatever had bitten him and stared around irritated. He had spent over a decade living on the road, but getting bit by insects was still something he still hated.
"Congratulations Sir! You have been chosen to be the bearer of the proportional powers of a spider. Always a good choice if you ask me. A very well rounded hero pack. Of course there are a couple of books you'll need to read. Mandatory I'm afraid." Storeman actually looked a bit embarrassed over the last bit.
"What proportional powers of a spider?" Ranma panicked. He could just see himself running around with six arms and eight eyes, being stared at by everyone.
"Strength, speed, agility, the usual packet. I assure you everyone who has received the gift of the spider totem has never had cause to complain."
Ranma paused as he thought abought it. 'No one has ever complained?' "I ain't gonna grow extra arms or eyes or nothin' like that?"
"Nope. You are simply gifted with the abilities of a spider. Modified for human size of course."
"What was that you were saying abought speed, strength, and agility?" Ranma asked, becoming a bit more interested.
"Your speed, strength, and agility will grow to match what a spider would have if it was your size. For instance you will find yourself able to dodge like the wind. Flowing around an opponents attacks like smoke. "
"I can already do that." Ranma began to look a bit doubtful abought the 'blessings' of the spider.
"Well can you run across a surface a centimeter wide without falling?"
Nod
"Leap from a standing start to the roof of a building?"
Nod
"Sense danger when there is no visible source?"
Nod
"Speed and reflexes several times the human norm?"
"You should see him eat and his punching speed already breaks the sound barrier."
"Really? Are you sure you haven't been here before?"
"Nope. Training."
"The ability to cling to walls?"
"I've seen him remain motionless on a flat ceiling for hours to avoid my sisters cooking."
"Can you walk around like it's a flat surface?"
"Nah, but that would be cool. It'd make it a lot easier to avoid getting poisoned that way." Ranma perked up a little.
Storeman looked a little more confidant. "Did I mention super human strength?" He said with a grin. This bit always hooked them.
"How strong are we talking here?" Nabiki interjected.
"Being able to bench press ten tons." Storeman said with pride.
"I can do twelve most days and if I really strain fifteen." Ranma grinned.
"Seriously?" Storeman looked a little rough around the edges.
"Yep." Ranma puffed up a little. It's always an ego boost to realize that you're already in the superhuman range of abilities.
"Flexibility?"
"To an insane amount." Nabiki interrupted, blushing for some reason Ranma couldn't quite figure out.
"Heal at an incredibly fast rate for a human?" Storeman asked hopefully.
"I've seen him break bones and have them heal within days." Nabiki replied
Storeman sighed. This really wasn't a good day. The boy already had most of not all of the basic powers and that probably wasn't including everything the boy could do. Now he had to explain the downside that the boy wouldn't have if he hadn't been bitten. Well… best to get it over with.
"Overdeveloped sense of duty?" He asked tentatively.
"I've seen him protect his enemies from disasters of their own making without a second thought. Or a first one for that matter." Nabiki grinned.
"Hey, I just don't like to see people hurt, OK?"
"I'm just teasing Ranma. We like you the way you are. Completely unlike your father."
Ranma blushed a little at that, for some reason Nabiki couldn't figure out this time.
"Females close to you put in life threatening situations or kidnapped?"
Ranma shrugged. "At least it keeps things from getting dull."
Storeman relaxed as he felt the weight of bad news being lifted from his shoulders. Apparently the kid was already slated for the hero biz. Picking up a couple of books from the counter he handed them to Ranma.
Ranma looked through them.
"How to banter well with villains?"
"Insulting an opponent in a fight or appearing to think the entire thing is a game is a great way to make you're opponent lose his temper and make mistakes."
"By Genma Satome?"
"I don't know the chap, but the book is top drawer when it comes to making someone lose their temper."
"Already had lessons." Ranma replied with a smirk.
Seeing the smirk and recognizing it from the diagrams on page one hundred and thirty three, Storeman nodded and placed it back on the counter.
"How to build your very own web shooters? What's that?"
"Well one of the abilities of a spider is to secrete web fluid which can be very useful."
"I saw a movie like that, but didn't it come out of the guys wrists?"
Storeman looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry, but Spiders don't have spinnerets located in that particular area."
"Then where does it come from?"
Glancing over at Nabiki he quickly leaned forward and whispered something in Ranma's ear.
"Eeewww! Gross!"
"Well you can milk the glad and store it in a container to use on wrist wearable web shooters. Which is what the book shows you how to do."
"I suppose so." Ranma replied with a sigh.
"What other powers do you have?"
"I can create tornados and store stuff in subspace. I can fire energy blasts and learn anything with the words martial arts in it in very little time. I can grow to dozens of times my normal size and explode stuff with a touch."
"You can grow several times your own size? When did you learn that?"
"When Happosai and pops got into it. It uses a lot of ki so I don't bother."
"I thought Ryoga was the one who specialized in blowing stuff up?"
"I learned it. I just don't use it. It causes too much property damage. Can you imagine the problems we'd have if I went around blowing stuff up too? I also know how to use the iron cloth technique to make clothing into weapons or armor."
"I thought Ryoga used that one too?"
"He does but he swore off using it casually since he cut Akane's hair that one time. It could have been worse. He's a pretty decent guy when he ain't going 'Ranma Prepare to die!'. Almost forgot the sealed techniques. I can turn invisible and throw blades of vacuum that cause incredible amounts of damage."
"You can also turn into a girl, stick your foot into your mouth in any situation, eat enough to impress a sumo champion, collect even more violent fiancées without trying, lose you mind and think you're a cat when exposed to one and unable to escape."
"Those are curses not powers."
"Anything that puts you beyond human limits is a power."
"They don't exactly make my life easy."
"Let's not forget that while in Neko-ken you have energy claws that cut through anything and heightened senses and your strength and speed go up to ridiculous levels."
"Yeah but it's not really me."
"It's you."
Ranma just sighed, unwilling to argue the point with Nabiki.
"It's normally 100,000 yen for the spider set but being chosen by the totem enables you to a discount of 98.5 and taking into account everything." Storeman did some quick calculations on a calculator and consulted a book titled abilities and disabilities.
"Here you go." Storeman held out a rather large amount of cash.
"What's this for?" Ranma asked in confusion.
"Balance. Abilities versus disabilities. Consider it good Karma. You also get a rather hefty store credit in case you want to purchase something else."
Nabiki grinned and Ranma felt a cold shiver run up his spine.
Nabiki's purchase…
Ranma decides to buy something else as well.
Storeman shows them the backroom.
SE!
SE!
Read the comments on this episode
For A Birthday: On the right track Episode 107066
by dogbertcarroll
Seeing the gleam in Nabiki's eyes Ranma pretended to be reluctant, until she released her dreaded 'Puppy dog eyes attack', where upon he caved in completely and told her to feel free. He sighed heavily and gave his patented 'I know I'm going to regret this look', before wandering off to let her negotiate.
Fortunately it appeared his 'Overdeveloped sense of duty' didn't extend to protecting Storeman from Nabiki.
Inside he was grinning. She just looked so cute when she did the 'eyes' bit, besides it's not like anyone ever found the same magical shop twice, so he might as well spend all the store credit they had for him.
Browsing through the store he ran across a sight that made his heart nearly stop in his chest. A big sign reading 'Martial arts scrolls'. With stars in his eyes ahem… with a manly grin he approached the bookcase and started devouring them like Genma at an all you can eat buffet.
Kachu Tenshin
Amaguriken. Check.
Bakusai Tenketsu. Check.
Hiryu Shoten Ha.
Check.
Splitting Cat Hairs. Chec…No check.
Ranma blinked and started reading through it, memorizing all the details. Using chi to create a counterfeit copy of your aura moving in a set pattern. Simple enough, but not real useful. Could use it to annoy the old ghoul tho'. Grinning to himself he quickly memorized it. Easy enough to learn, but difficult to master. Just the way he liked them.
Cat Tongue Pressure Point Attack. Definitely not a check!
Examining it, he immediately saw it was the same basic technique Cologne had used on him, but there was more. The technique for reversing it was also on the scroll. This would really bug the old ghoul. Ranma couldn't help but chuckle, at being able to teach her something she didn't know abought one of her own techniques. He could also have Tofu reverse the one that was used on him. That at least would get rid of the nagging worry that the phoenix pill would wear off one day. Best set that one aside.
Xi Fang Xiao. Check.
Delivery Box Blowout. Not a check.
But only really useful if fighting delivery style martial artists in some sort of delivery contest and how often would that happen?
Ranma quickly memorized it.
Ramen Suffocator.
Check.
Remote Control Acupuncture. Not a check.
From the looks of it, it wasn't something you could simply memorize. Better get this one as well.
Hakuchoken.
Check.
Keiran-ken. Check.
Dachokyaku. Check
Takazumeken.
Check.
Bullets and bracers. Not a check.
Hmmm. Prerequisites; Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken and having at least one parent be a god. So much for that idea.
Tiara boomerang toss. Not a check.
'And don't care. I sure as hell ain't becoming a Xena wanabe. Must be the Amazon section. Let's check this shelf.'
Okonomiyaki Chef techniques. Not a check.
'I can always learn them from Ukyou if I need them. Best set it aside. Ukyou might like a copy.'
Senpou-ken
Whirlwind. Check.
Shishi Hokoudan. Check.
Hammerspace Attack.
Definitely a check.
Shooting Star Kick. Check.
Hiryu Kourin Dan.
Check.
Moko Takabisha. Definitely a check.
'I don't remember teaching these to anyone. Hey, they've even got my name on em. Cool! I'm famous!' Ranma grinned and put them back on the shelf.
Gourmet de Fois
Gras. Check.
Umi-sen-ken & Yami-sen-ken Techniques. Definitely
not a check.
'Looks like the old man was holding out on me. I don't know half the moves on these. Best copy them too.'
Crouch of the Wild Tiger. Check…unfortunately.
Happo Daikarin, Happo Throw, Happo Battle Aura Blast, Happo 5 yen Satsu, Happo Extradimensional Warp, Happo Beanjam Blowout, Okuhida Hurricane/Silky Storm.
'Man is the freak going to be pissed when I learn these.'
Ranma giggled evilly, only to stop when he noticed Storeman staring at him with one eyebrow raised.
Storeman turned his attention back to Nabiki " The Guyver armor is generally…"
Ranma turned his attention back to the scrolls tuning out the two again.
Iron Fist. Not a check.
'Easy enough but more of a last defense type of thing and likely to kill your opponent.'
Ranma simply shoved it back on the shelf after glancing at it.
Iron Skin. Check.
Suppressed Desire. Not a check.
'Go without food or sleep for how long? Gotta copy that one.'
Featherwalk. Check.
Sexcraft. Not a check.
'Really Hentai, but some look a little useful. Best copy these too.'
Neko Ken. Check. shudder
Scanning it he saw there was a lot more to it then the small blurb Genma had in his 'training manual'.
'Best copy that too just in case there is something useful.'
Sinanju. Not a check.
'Korean based martial arts.' Ranma simply shrugged. Probably not that useful and he already had quite a bit he needed to copy. He slid it back on the shelf and carried the stack of scrolls up to the front counter and dropped them off glancing over to see if Nabiki was done yet.
"The Iczelion battle bikini is top of the line when you are looking for …."
'Yep. Nabs will be a while. I think I need to expand my horizons a bit. At least that's what Nabiki keeps telling me. Something new….hmmm. What would be the last thing they would expect of me? To marry Kuno. shudder Ok how abought second to last? Using a weapon? That would surprise them and it's not like anyone else fights without them around here. I'll just have to be sure not to rely on them.'
Ranma wandered through the store examining the different sections. 'Viruses and alien DNA injections. Henshin Rods for the magical girl on the go.' Pausing to examine them he noticed they all came with name plates describing their means of empowerment and functions.
'Pretty Jailbait
Kasumi Henshin Rod' Empowered by the repressed libido of the
average Japanese housewife. Channels the unfulfilled and repressed
sexual desires of the nations married female population.
Activation
phrase: "Never underestimate the power of a Japanese
housewife."
Note: Only useable by girls under the age of consent
for battle against tentacle beasts.
Errata: The shorter the skirt
the more powerful the magic girl. Skirt length on P.J.K.H.R.
practically non-existent.
Ranma could feel enormous amounts of power radiate off of it. The fact that it was also humming and floating an inch above the table was also a bit of a clue.
'Not a chance. I don't care how powerful it is. There ain't no way anyone is going to get me to use one of those. Besides it's kinds shaped like a…'
Quickly walking through that section he came to the 'Magical and Mystical weapons.' section.
Hammer of Thor. 'No
desire to become a blonde haired gaijin. No mallets, thanks.'
The
Ebony Blade. 'Hmmm. Blood curse. Nope.'
Silver Surfer's cosmic
surfboard. 'Attracts the attention of a world devouring entity. Not
a chance.'
The Ruby of Cyttorek. 'Transform into a huge
unstoppable mountain of muscle. Nah. My clothes wouldn't
fit.'
Soulsword. 'Only harms mystical creatures and magical
entities. Wielder will form a bond with two teenage girls. Got enough
already.'
'None of these seem right. I wonder if Nabiki is done yet.'
"The moldiver suit is a fascinating…"
'Nope. There has to be something here. What's this?'
Ranma examined a table piled with odds and ends.
Bracers of defense. Standard indestructible bracers magically spelled to increase wearers defense against blunt damage. +2/+8 versus uncute tomboys.
'I'm dreaming. That's the only explanation. Screw it.'
"Come to Papa!" Ranma quickly picked up the black bracers and snapped them into place on his forearms. Caressing the black metal bands he had to admit this was his best birthday ever.
Searching the table once more he found a nice black silk shirt in his style with no tag or label.
'Must just be a shirt. I need some more anyway.'
Wayfarer's amulet. Leads the wearer unerringly to where they want to go. Cannot be lost or stolen unless willfully removed by owner.
'Ryoga could really use that. Of course he'll probably use it to track me down and yell 'Ranma Prepare to Die!', but still…'
Shrugging he picked it up and headed to the front where he found Nabiki already waiting with a shopping bag.
"Find anything good?"
"Martial arts scrolls, bracers, amulet, and a shirt. You?"
"I think I'll surprise you when you take me to lunch."
"I'm taking you to lunch? That is a surprise." Ranma replied with a grin.
"See I'm doing it already."
"Well let's ring all this up."
Placing everything on the counter and tapping his bracers to let Storeman know he had them, he awaited the verdict.
"To the penny."
"You mean all our purchases match the store credit exactly?" Nabiki was shocked.
"Yes. We do specialize in this sort of thing after all Ms. Frankly I would have been surprised if your purchases had not been to the penny." Storeman answered while packaging everything Ranma had bought.
Ranma just shrugged deciding not to question his good fortune. "Ready Nabiki?"
"Sure.
Ranma and Nabiki. Out to lunch.
The NWC and it's search for Ranma.
Happosai feeling a disturbance in the force...
Ryoga shows up!
Something Else.
Something Else.
Read the comments on this episode
For A Birthday: Labels Episode 107280
by dogbertcarroll
Storeman watched as his latest two victims customers left the store. It always felt so rewarding to help his customers along the road to greatness. Whether they liked it or not.
He paused as his Storeman sense™ started tingling. Something was wrong. With the speed of a Mother heading for the last Tickle me Elmo doll the night before Christmas, he charged across the store, only to find the problem was relatively minor.
Apparently one of the items on the bargain table had knocked off it's own label. The items on the table were placed there because most had at least one or two slight problems or quirks, Although some were there just because they had a very limited range of use.
The bracers the boy had bought were a good example. They did function as bracers +2 in normal day to day life, but the enchantment that gave them +8 versus tomboys was rather expensive and how many people really needed it?
Several dozen boys throughout Japan sneezed for no apparent reason.
At any rate it was actually a better idea to buy a pair of Bracers +4 for the same price. Unless you found yourself surrounded by violent tomboys it was just a waste of money.
The Wayfarer's amulet likewise had it's own quirks. It would lead one by the fastest route possible to where they wanted to go, but it did that by analyzing it's users abilities. So while it was useful it was really frustrating for most people, as it lead them to an airport or a taxi stand. Mechanized travel really was the fastest way to travel these days.
One hundred years ago it was an undeniably powerful artifact, but these days it was more of a nuisance then anything else. The bonus enchantment that allowed the wielder to sense young women in trouble (within a five minute travel time radius) had been tossed in to entice someone to buy it.
Recalling the label on it from when the boy had bought it, he made a mental note to update the labels. The bonus enchantment hadn't even been listed. Oh, well. It would be a happy surprise for someone.
Examining the label in his hand he couldn't help but wonder why the boy would buy a(n)…
Mutated Symbiote
Techno-organic wear T-shirt
Organic-wear Computer system
Shirt of Mallet Attraction +12
SE
SE now with Nutrasweet!
Read the comments on this episode
Techniques & Tights: Break for lunch Episode 107910
by dogbertcarroll
"How abought that Café over there?" Nabiki asked, tugging on Ranma's arm to get his attention.
"Worlds of Adventure? Are you sure it's safe?" Ranma asked nervously.
"Sure. See the two people sitting at that table?" She pointed to a man in a red robe sitting with a woman in a gossamer white dress.
"Yeah, and?"
"I saw both of them working behind the counter at a couple of the local shops. If the locals eat here, you can be sure it's safe for us to eat here. I mean they'd hardly open themselves up to the kind of havoc these places cause when they run one themselves, right?"
"Ya got a point there Nabsy."
"Nabsy?" Nabiki linked her arm through his as she maneuvered them through the lunchtime crowd.
Ranma shrugged "Lunch is already on me, so as payment I get to change your name."
"You want to change my name? I just can't see myself as Nabsy Sa.. Tendo."
"Not Nabsyza. Just Nabsy. And not forever just for lunch."
Nabiki released his arm and sat down.
"OK, Airen."
"Airen?"
"Nabsy think is too, too cute idea."
Ranma paused as he glanced through the menu, grinning as he answered back,
"Ahhh the elation of spending time with my august personage must have rendered her imbecilic. Poor girl. Alas it is no less then to be expected, for am I not the great Ranma Satome, Rising star of the Breadstick fighting world whom others know as The Blue Blunder of Furinkan High!"
Standing and posing with a bread stick held high in his right hand, he was treated to the sight of Nabiki falling off her chair and laughing to beat the band.
The SRU wizard winced. That was too much to be borne lightly. When a simple wizard, such as himself, couldn't enjoy a lunchtime repast something had to be done. Raising a hand he prepared to cast…
Remove curse. There had to be some sort of curse involved with that speech.
Curse. For a speech like that he deserved it.
The wizard's tablemate casts...
Ryoga shows up!
SE!
SE! Now in Technocolor!
Read the comments on this episode
Techniques & Tights: Intentions Episode 108281
by dogbertcarroll
Vanessa simply beamed as she watched her boyfriend cast Remove Curse on the boy. She knew she'd been having a good effect on him. She'd bet her wand that if she kept seeing him he would change his ways yet!
Unaware of his girlfriend's current preoccupation Robert redoubled his efforts. He could feel the curse fighting him. For one of his power that was quite a surprise.
Magic is quite often more a matter of intentions then words and of intuition rather then law. So a wizard of enormous power could simply skip all the formalities and apply his power directly to a spell associated with someone.
However the problem with acting in that manner is that control is somewhat lacking. It was his intention that the curse associated with the boy that caused him to act that way be removed. As there was no curse cast on the boy causing him to act that way the magic searched for a proper target.
Magic has rules. Flexible though they are, they do exist and are enforced semi-rigidly. One of those rules is that the farther away a target is the more power is needed to effect it. That also applies to types of spells. A skilled mage could use an ice spell to heat a cup of coffee, but it cost much more in terms of power. Simply put, the farther by either type of spell or distance to target the more power is needed.
Which is how one SRU outlet wizard found himself pouring enough magical energy to turn Chicago into a carp into one Ranma Satome while trying to remove a curse he didn't have.
Vanessa watched as sweat beaded on her … friend's brow. Raising her wand she added her own magic into the mix. Being a fairy godmother her magic was naturally adept at illusionary and transformative spells.
Feeling Vanessa's magic mix with his own Robert couldn't help but feel a little surprised. He was removing a curse true, but he was doing it because it offended his sensibilities. A proper curse should only make the target suffer, anything else was just plain sloppiness.
Vanessa smirked. She was definitely going to make sure he received a proper reward for this!
Meanwhile back in Nerima...
Nabiki's reaction.
Ryoga shows up!
SE!
Monkeys lots of Monkeys all over the keyboard!
Read the comments on this episode
Techniques & Tights: Curses, foiled again. Episode 108831
by dogbertcarroll
Ranma found himself enclosed in a sphere of blue light as he stood there with his breadstick raised. Strangely enough his danger sense didn't even twinge. Heck he was beginning to feel like a weight was being taken from his shoulders, not a lot, just a couple of hundred pounds or so.
Small curses began to snap around him, as larger curses were weakened.
The Curse of the interrupted Bath. Cast on Genma by an angry priestess while he was training under Happosai. Genma was the largest target and the easiest to hit. The curse follows the family line. Genma found a priest that could cure it easily enough, but didn't feel like paying the extra 500 yen to prevent it from afflicting his heirs. A relatively minor curse, that insures that people will unintentionally interrupt one while bathing. Can be cured by a simple prayer apologizing to the Kamis of cleanliness. snap
The Curse of Manliness. Cast on Ranma by Genma, who didn't bother to read enough of the scroll to realize the author of the scroll was being sarcastic. Causes the victim to lose interest and fall asleep any time anything sufficiently scholarly is discussed. Can be overcome by force of will, if the victim hasn't become convinced that anything too scholarly was unmanly. snap
The Curse of Parental Obedience. Cast on Ranma by Genma. Causes victim to follow parental instruction on an instinctive level. Even after learning said instructions were bull will tend to fall back into obeying them on an instinctive level. Can be cured by spending at least eight months separated from affecting parent. snap
The Curse of the foolish Disguise. Cast on Genma and Ranma by a priest who believed that they had to be something supernatural in disguise, because of the amount they ate at an 'all you can eat' buffet held at his temple. Causes victim to believe that ridiculous and easy to see through disguise will fool everyone. Can be cured by simply examining ones self in a silver backed mirror while in 'disguise'. snap
The Curse of Poor planning. Cast on the Satome family line, somewhere back in history, by a rival clan who despised them because of their wealth. Causes victim and people associated with them to jump to conclusions and make plans with minimal facts available. Hard to cure but considered a minor curse because of its intermittent nature. snap
Robert finally collapsed in his seat only to find Vanessa occupying his lap and her tongue his mouth.
"Ranma? Are you ok?" A nervous Nabiki asked anxiously.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Heck, I feel better then fine. It feels like someone just removed a boulder from my shoulders that I hadn't noticed before."
Glancing over at the wizard Ranma decided he really should thank him, before he decided to curse him for being ungrateful.
"Hey man. Thanks! I don't know what you did, but I feel loads better."
The wizard gave him a quick thumbs up, being unable to respond because of his girlfriend's attempts to remove his tonsils with her tongue.
Ranma shrugged and smiled at a relieved Nabiki. "Man I feel good. So did you decide what to order?" Nabiki just stared at Ranma for a moment before shrugging it off as being not that big a deal, considering Ranma's usual daily chaos. "How abought we just order a couple of burgers and a soda?" Ranma nodded. "Sounds good to me."
Meanwhile back in Nerima...
What is Kuno up to?
Ryoga shows up!
On with lunch!
SE!
SE Jr. Awww isn't it cute?
Read the comments on this episode
Techniques & Tights: What about Bob? Episode 109283
by dogbertcarroll
Nabiki waved down the waitress and told her their order before asking if she could use the restroom to change real quick. The waitress Sally just waved her towards the back, behind the counter.
Nabiki couldn't help but grin. Ranma was in for quite a surprise. The bag from Zero to Hero rustled as she slid into the restroom.
"A large Dr. Pecker, a sweaty pair, and a couple of sliders, make 'em cheesy, to go!"
Ranma just blinked. He had always wonder exactly who had come up with the language short order cooks used. Was it really too much trouble to actually call out what was ordered? Was there some waitress and cook, way back when, who got bored and started posing orders as riddles? Maybe Ukyou would know.
"Ahem."
Hearing Nabiki clearing her throat behind him broke his train of thought, so he turned around to see what she had decided on from all the things she had been looking at while at the Hero shop.
"So what do you think?"
Nabiki gave a little twirl, showing off the form fitting set of bluish-gray coveralls she was wearing. A wrench and hammer on her belt completed the ensemble with just a glint of silver at the neck cluing him in to the fact that she had bought an amulet as well.
"Well?"
Nabiki stood with one hand on her hip and the other behind her head in a classic cheesecake pose.
"Looks good," Ranma replied with an appreciative grin "but what do they do?"
Nabiki slid into her seat.
"Well, what you said abought working with your hands earlier intrigued me. Working with my own hands to make something that would also be profitable wouldn't be such a bad thing. Beholden to no one and able to create has it's attractions."
Ranma smirked.
Exasperation colored her voice. "Come on Satome, even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
Ranma somehow managed to increase his smirking level after that comment.
Nabiki rolled her eyes at him.
"Anyway. I wanted to get something useful without dealing with a lot of negatives. Like a sudden desire to take over the world or using gadgets that could make billions on patent rights to knock over jewelry stores for just a hundred thousand yen or so."
Nabiki and Ranma thanked Sally as she slid their plates in front of them before continuing.
"So I asked abought some powerful items to get a feel for pricing and have something to compare to the items I planned on buying, if I could find anything. Just because I'm spending your money doesn't mean I'm going to waste it. I figured I could get a better deal that way."
Ranma nodded while eating at a normal speed for once. Genma being quite a distance from wherever here was he didn't feel the need to use the Satome speed eating technique.
Nabiki took a sip of her soda and ate one of her fries before continuing.
"Anyway, to make a long story short, I managed to get three items for the price of one. I discovered that as long as picked I low powered items from a seldom used selection I could get more and varied abilities. I figure I'm much better as a support personnel type then a frontline fighter anyway."
Ranma rubbed his right shoulder gently. "Now if only we could convince Akane of that."
Nabiki winced. "Still hurt from when Akane insisted she could fight that Casserole monster and you had to jump in and save her from its projectile swordfish parts?"
Ranma started to scratch his shoulder. "Nah, just itches a bit. I think the damn spines on the thing were poisoned."
"When does my sister ever cook something that isn't poisoned?"
"Well she does make a mean curry." Ranma grinned in remembrance.
"You mean the one that ate the neighbors cat and you take out to play fetch with in the park at nights?"
Ranma turned pale. "You know about Bob?"
Nabiki sighed "Relax Ranma. I've known about him all this time and I haven't said anything, nor do I intend to. Kasumi even plays with it when we're all at school."
Color came back to his cheeks as he relaxed. "She doesn't mind?"
"Not at all. She say's it keeps the mice population down and is good company. She's even been teaching it tricks."
"Like what?"
"Well she said you covered all the standard pet commands, so she has been trying to train it to change form. Recently she got it to do a hot dog with bun and an igloo. She's got it trained to do dog down pat, but even as a dog it's spiked, green, and armor plated, so I wouldn't suggest taking it out in public."
"Anyone else know?"
"Well P-Chan avoids the basement at all costs. He's convinced there's a demon down there."
Ranma snickered.
"Sasuke pets it when he's hiding in the floorboards. Kodachi has been feeding it on the sly when she's sure no one is around. She spends hours talking to it when you go on training trips so it doesn't get lonely."
Ranma just sat there stunned. "So much for me being able to keep it a secret."
"It's not that bad. It just tends to whine when you aren't around. That's how Kasumi found it and you know how she is. She thought it was just adorable. Sasuke found out about it because it lurks under the floorboards during the day. Kodachi found out because of Sasuke and she saw you playing with it in the park. I asked her about it one night when I saw her sneaking into the basement. She thinks it's simply darling that you have a pet and further proof that you have a gentle heart worthy of her."
Ranma's mouth opened and closed a few times, but nothing came out.
Nabiki just grinned. "Haven't you noticed Kodachi has been a bit more circumspect in her quest for your affections or that Kasumi has been making sure you get the big piece of chicken when she serves it? Your pet is the ugliest babe magnet in existence."
Nabiki laughed as Ranma began to shiver in fear.
"Please tell me your kidding!" Ranma begged.
"I wish I could. The Sailor Senshi even showed up one night because someone had reported it as a Youma. Kasumi convinced them not to dust it. Several of the girls were interested in meeting someone who would treat something that ugly kindly, until the green haired Senshi with the staff started beating them with it. She was cussing up a blue streak and made them swear to never attempt to meet you or she would do something with her staff they wouldn't like. I saw several of them writing down our address anyway."
It was at that point that Ranma passed out.
On with Lunch!
Kuno goes to the Mall.
Ryoga finally shows up.
SE!
Read the comments on this episode
Techniques & Tights: One BLT to go. Episode 110170
by dogbertcarroll
Nabiki was smirking to herself as she ate her fries, waiting for Ranma to regain his senses, when she heard a rather familiar announcement.
"Ranma, Prepare to…huh?"
Ryoga glanced down at Ranma's prone form and then up at Nabiki's amused grin.
"What did you do to him?"
"Nothing, I just told him some things he wasn't ready to hear."
Nabiki's grin unnerved the lost boy a bit, as he sat down and waited for Ranma to wake up.
"So… How did you two end up in Hakido anyway?"
Nabiki took a sip of her soda before replying, "We aren't in Hakido. This is some sort of Magic Mall and as for where it is... I have no idea. You have to buy something before it lets you out."
Ryoga scratched the back of his head, wondering if he should mention that he's been here quite a few times.
"Whasssit?"
Ranma slowly sat up, rubbing his head as he tried to think of how he could avoid having the Sailor Senshi end up as yet more fiancées. He was fairly sure they fit the bill; beautiful, violent, and looking for a boyfriend. That pretty much described all the women he was engaged (and/or married by some quaint law) to.
whack
"Ow! What'd ya do that for ya… Oh, Hi Ryoga!"
Ryoga frowned. This wasn't quite the reaction he was seeking or used to from Ranma. He seemed really happy to see him and hadn't insulted him yet and he had been fully conscious for over five seconds already!
"I got ya somethin'…"
Ranma was interrupted by Ryoga's stomach letting off a growl that almost rivaled one of Ranma's own.
"How about I get ya some lunch first?"
Ryoga rubbed the back of his head and looked down, embarrassed to be put in this position. He had wanted to attack Ranma… but he was hungry… and Ranma wasn't being insulting. Add to that, that he didn't have any money on him and well…
Ranma took the decision from him by ordering, "Hey can I get a foot long sub, lots of meat, but no pork please?"
"So what brings you by this way Habiki?"
"One Hero, make it a foot long and really beefy, on the straight and narrow."
"I was looking for Ranma. You see I ran into an old monk, in a cave in the center of Tokyo, which is rather bizarre because I don't remember there being penguins in Tokyo, or so much snow… Anyway he had this scroll with a technique based on changing strength into speed, but it takes a lot of endurances and I wanted to test it out on Ranma." Ryoga finished a little bit uncomfortable at mentioning the fact that he was planning on beating the person who was buying him lunch senseless.
"Really? Cool!"
Ranma practically did a dance in his chair as Nabiki just sighed. 'I'll never understand these two.'
"You don't mind?"
"Hell no! I been watin' for ya to come up with something new for a while now. I figured you would either come up with something to speed you up or slow me down, or maybe even some new type of attack. Like refining the breaking point to move the earth the way the Old Ghoul moves water, like the Shark fist."
Ryoga froze in place, completely lost in thought, not even noticing the sub that was placed in front of him, even while he was eating it.
Nabiki opened her mouth to say something, only to stop when Ranma held a finger to her lips. Blushing a bit she stared down at her lap and waited for Ryoga to come out of whatever fugue state he was in.
Ranma's eyes danced as he watched Ryoga, passing him the remains of his fries, which Ryoga ate with the same absent minded deliberation.
"That could work… I could make a simple ground wave pretty easily. Making it into an animal form would take a lot longer and a lot more skill, but a simple wave? I could do that in my sleep!"
Ranma slipped the amulet he had bought into Ryoga's hand.
Ryoga paused just before he was abought to bite it. "What's this?"
"It's an amulet, bought it at a magic shop that makes stuff for heroes. It's suppose to lead you straight to wherever you want to go without fail. Can't be lost, stolen, or dropped. Ya have to willingly take it off if ya want to get rid of it."
Ryoga stared at the simple grey talisman like it was the Holy Grail. Quickly he slipped it around his neck where it glimmered a little and faded into his skin.
"Where'd it go?" Ryoga scrabbled at his neck suddenly holding the talisman again. "What the hell was that?"
"I guess it's how they can guarantee ya'll never lose it. It kinda slid into ya for a moment and then when ya wanted to take it off it was back in your hand."
"How in the world did you figure that out Satome?" Nabiki arched an eyebrow.
Ranma straightened up from his habitual slouch and started speaking in lecturing tones. "A magic item has it's own aura or power source if you will. The spell is patterned into the item in such a way that by deciding the object is yours and you wish to wear it, it activates the portion of the spell dealing with it's physical placement relative to you and your placement within space time. It slides into your aura and by using you as an anchor, it gets a clear feel for exactly where you are and where your goal is in reference to you, allowing it to alter your aura in such a way that the destination becomes clear in your mind as well."
Ryoga and Nabiki stared at him in slack jawed amazement.
"What? It's all on the card." Ranma held up a small card that had written on it, word for word, the entire speech he had just given.
crash
Ranma looked down at the two splayed out on the ground.
"Come on. It's similar to Mousse's hidden weapons trick, just it references the entire world to you rather then what you have stored."
Realizing that it did indeed have a lot of similarities to something involving the Martial Arts and feeling strangely relieved that Ranma hadn't suddenly developed a high IQ, Ryoga and Nabiki climbed back into their chairs feeling that all was right once again with the world or at least as much as it ever was around Ranma.
On with Lunch!
Kuno goes to the Mall.
Back at the Fiancee fights.
SE!
Read the comments on this episode
