Author's Note: Hehehehe….one of my favorite songs! Enjoy! Remember what I say? Listen to the songs while reading to make it more enjoyable!

If You Were Gay!

Jasper: Aah. An afternoon alone with my favorite book,

"Broadway Musicals of the 1940's."

No roommate to bother me.

How can it get any better than this?

Carlisle: Oh, Hi Rod!

Jasper: Hi Nicky.

Carlisle: Hey Rod, you'll never guess

What happened to me,

On the subway this morning!

This guy was smiling at me,

And talking to me,

Jasper: That's very interesting.

Carlisle: He was being real friendly,

And I think he was coming on to me.

I think he might've thought that I was gay!

Jasper: Ahem, so, uh why are you telling me this?

Why should I care?

I don't care.

What did you have for lunch today?

Carlisle: Oh, you don't have to get

All defensive about it, Rod….

Jasper: I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!

What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?

I'm trying to read.

Carlisle: Oh, I didn't mean anything about, Rod.

I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

Jasper: I don't want to talk about it, Nicky!!

This conversation is over!

Carlisle: Yeah, but….

Jasper: OVER!!!!

Carlisle: Well, okay…but just so you know—

If you were gay,

That'd be okay.

I mean 'cause, Hey,

I'd like you anyway.

Because you see,

If it were me,

I would feel free to say,

That I was gay!

But I'm not gay.

Jasper: Nicky, PLEASE!

I'm trying to read….

….WHAT?!?!?!?!...

Carlisle: If you were queer.

Jasper: Ah, Nicky!

Carlisle: I'd still be here!

Jasper: Nicky, I'm trying to read this book!

Carlisle: Year after year!

Jasper: Nicky!

Carlisle: Because you're dear to me.

Jasper: Argh!

Carlisle: And I know that you…

Jasper: What?

Carlisle: Would accept me too!

Jasper: I would?!?!

Carlisle: If I told you today,

"Hey! Guess what? I'M GAY!"

…but I'm not gay.

I'm happy just being with you!

Jasper: High button shoes, Pal Joey….

Carlisle: So what should it

Matter to me?

WHAT YOU DO

IN BED WITH GUYS!

Jasper: NICKY! THAT IS WRONG!!!

Carlisle: NO IT'S NOT!

If you were gay!

I'd shout HURRAY!!!

Jasper: I am not listening!

Carlisle: And here I'd stay!

Jasper: La La La La La!

Carlisle: But I wouldn't get in your way!

Jasper: Aaaah!

Carlisle: You can count on me,

To always be,

Beside you everyday,

To tell you it's okay!

You were just born that way!

And like they say,

It's in your DNA,

YOU'RE GAY!!!!!!

Jasper: I AM NOT GAY!!!!

Carlisle: If you were gay.

Jasper: Aaaah!

Author's Note: REVIEW MY LOVES!