Previously on "The Road Goes Ever On". MR NADIR, a chessmaster with plans of his own, MR BARNES, a good-hearted simpleton, and MISS PERRY, a lady of easy virtue, on seeing the distress their friend MISS EDISON was suffering concocted a plan to make MR WINGER approach MISS EDISON in a more constructive manner. Tune in to this week's episode to see how events unfold…
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(Mulligan's Irish bar)
"Girls!" Britta said, holding her beer bottle in front of her.
"Girls!" Annie and Shirley returned the toast, clanking their own drinks - an appletini and a Virgin Mary respectively - against hers. Britta had been feeling vaguely guilty about going along with Abed's plan to get Jeff and Annie talking again and had decided to organise a Girl's Night to cheer her friend up. A few phone calls later and they'd all agreed to meet on Friday in Greendale's only Irish-themed bar. There was a more cynical motive of course - Britta still hadn't had Annie's version of how the date went and was desperate to compare it to Jeff's and was hoping a few drinks would loosen the younger woman's tongue.
Not just yet though, she needs to be softened up first. Instead she turned to her other friend. "Any news Shirley?"
"I saw my lawyer yesterday," she said with a sad smile on her face. "He thinks he can get me to see Elijah, Jordan and Benjamin every other weekend instead of once a month."
Britta nodded sympathetically. "It sucks that getting back together with Andre didn't work out, but it's his fault that he couldn't cope with you becoming a strong, independent woman who didn't need a man to keep her," she added firmly.
Shirley was silent for a moment as though not sure as to whether she should be offended at becoming a feminist role model before accepting Britta's words in the spirit they were meant. "Thank you, Brit-ta," she said slowly. "It was my duty to do everything I could to try and save my marriage, and I'll never regret having Benjamin." She added bravely.
"Aaaww," Annie hummed sympathetically. "You need a better lawyer Shirley," she added supportively.
"He's the best I can afford, you know my shop is barely breaking even as is." Shirley sat up suddenly, her sad expression replaced by a fixed glare pinning Annie to her seat. "Speaking of lawyers - we still haven't had the run-down on your date, missy."
Annie spluttered into her drink. "Shirley!"
Her friend was unmoved. "It's early and we've got all night Annie."
Annie sighed and took a sip of her drink. In truth, she'd reached the stage of wanting to talk it out but had spent so much time rebuffing her friends' attempts to talk to her she'd been slightly afraid to. She therefore seized the opportunity with both hands and proceeded to unburden herself.
"...so then we we were finally leaving the restaurant," it was two drinks later and Annie was winding up her monologue. "And even Jerk McPointyface had started to notice how terrible it had been, so he apologised for being too awesome for me and said we should have gone to Hooters instead!" Annie was sitting bolt upright now. "So I told him what I thought about him and stormed off without looking back."
"You go girl," Britta said, holding up her hand for a high five. Annie gave it a firm slap.
Shirley didn't attempt to join in. "Yes, I can see how terrible it must have been - a rich, successful, good looking and smartly dressed man wants to spend his money on treating you. It must have been a complete nightmare." Her judgemental tone of voice was out in full force.
Annie squeaked with shock at this response. Before she could say anything, Shirley started talking again.
"At least one good thing came of it though."
"What, Shirley?" Britta said - Annie was still too speechless to reply.
"You two have been developing something of a habit of recycling each other's exes-" Shirley kept talking over the outraged cries of the other two "-first there was that shirtless freak you ran off to Delaware with-"
"Vaughn," Britta and Annie mumbled at the same time.
"Then there was poor Troy-"
"He seemed okay with it," Britta mumbled.
Shirley ignored her. "And now this Jeff guy. It's probably just as well you ended it now before you start keeping joint schedules."
"That's not fair, Shirley!" Annie had finally found her voice. "Britta has slept with dozens of guys I wouldn't go near! Sorry Britta," she gave her friend an embarrassed smile.
"Gee, thanks girlfriend." Britta mumbled. Then more loudly - "and Annie's hardly slept with anybody! Sleeping with all her exes doesn't prove anything!"
Now it was Annie's turn to look offended. "And Jeff doesn't prove anything either! He's a guy any girl would be curious to-" Annie's mouth slammed shut as she realised what she was about to say.
"Huuuh-hmmm," Shirley hummed meaningfully.
XXXXXX
(Apartment 303 - early the next day)
Annie yawned and smiled apologetically over her coffee at Abed and Troy. "What time's the rental car due again?" She asked. Two days ago Abed had told her that with the collapse of Plan A - get Annie to lure Jeff into lending Abed his car - he'd activated Plan B - rent a car ("not one as cinematic as Jeff's") for the following weekend, paying extra to have it delivered to the apartment. He'd also suggested the three roommates could take a road trip into the mountains, spend a morning shooting driving footage then have a picnic - Annie had recognised an attempt by her friends to cheer her up and had spontaneously hugged a somewhat bemused Abed.
"Half past six," Abed said.
Annie looked at her phone - 6:37. "It's la-"
She was interrupted by Abed's phone vibrating. "That's the car," he said. "Let's go."
Annie threw down the last of her coffee, picked up the picnic basket and followed the boys out of the door.
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After she'd met Jeff for the first time and been baffled by why the guys had been so impressed by his car, Annie had attacked this gap in her knowledge with her usual determination. She'd watched a whole host of Youtube videos (many of which for some reason were presented by an oafish Englishman who somehow had millions of hits), so she no longer needed to be told why a Ferrari California was a nice car. Even if she had done none of that research however she would still have recognised it thanks to the jerkass male model-type leaning against it in his designer casual gear and sunglasses.
"Hi guys," Jeff Winger smirked as they approached.
"Hi Jeff," Abed said.
"Dude!" Troy grinned.
"Abed, what the hell?" Annie gasped. I was really looking forward to a fun day out with my friends, and they do THIS -
"Don't blame Abed, it was my idea."
Annie pivoted to face Jeff, he was smiling as though the sight of her about to explode amused him somehow.
You really do look spectacularly hot when you're angry, he found himself thinking for the - actually, he'd lost count of the amount of times he'd thought that. "Believe it or not, but I really don't like it when cute girls are angry with me - it causes a great disturbance in The Force," he said instead, causing Abed to perk up suddenly in the background.
"So when I found out Abed was making a movie and wanted to use my car," Jeff continued, "I thought I'd never been in a movie before and it sounded like fun, and if seeing me help out your friends meant you'd stop using a picture of me as a dartboard then all the better."
"I don't have a picture of you," Annie huffed.
"Do you want one?"
Jeff was openly smiling now, a big aren't-I-the-cutest-thing-you've-ever-seen smile. Annie desperately wanted to stay angry with him, but found herself snorting with exasperated amusement instead.
"Fine!" She threw up her arms in defeat. "We'll use your car." She turned to face Troy and Abed who, on seeing the confrontation wind down, had started towards the trunk with the bags.
"You'd think a car that cost so much would have a decent sized trunk," she grumbled as she helped load the car - Annie was determined not to surrender with too much grace.
"People who can afford to drive cars like this can afford to have their luggage shipped," Jeff said blandly. He'd moved so that he was standing next to her, almost but not quite close enough for their shoulders to be touching - close enough for Annie to smell his cologne, which like everything else about him seemed to be both effortlessly expensive and perfectly judged to make a positive impression.
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Then there was the discussion over seats…
"I think Troy should sit in the front," Annie said. There's hardly any leg room in the back and he's the biggest of us."
"No!" Jeff yelped as Troy moved towards the front of the car, the others turned to look at him in surprise just as he composed himself.
"This is an Italian sportscar Troy," Jeff said in his best 'you're about to make the most important decision of your life, listen to me and it'll be the right one' voice.
"Yeeeess, Jeff?" Troy looked confused.
"There's a special sensor in it. If anybody other than a hot girl sits in the passenger seat, it ejects them." Jeff looked deadly serious.
"That can't be true, can it?" Troy looked even more uncertain.
"Think about it Troy," Jeff had walked around the car and was now facing him. He gripped his arm, man to man, to add sincerity to his words. "All the times you've seen a car like this - magazines, movies, TV - how often was there a guy in the passenger seat?"
Troy's face lit up as though something previously obscure had become clear. "Pretty much... none?" He said.
Jeff patted his elbow approvingly. "Now you know why, buddy." He said.
Troy nodded decisively. "Annie - you ride upfront," he said as he climbed into the back.
"That was cruel Jeff," Annie murmured as she moved towards him. The force of the criticism was somewhat muted by the smile she was fighting to keep off her face however.
As she opened the car door however her smile was replaced by a puzzled frown. "What's this?" She said, picking up a small box.
"It's on the passenger seat and you're the passenger - it must be yours," Jeff said casually as he eased himself into the driver's seat.
Still puzzled, Annie slid into the seat and opened the box. Inside was a simple white lily, with a silk bow and a pin attached. There was also a card, Annie took it out and read it. The message was straightforward enough -
Peace offering? JW
Annie didn't say anything, the smile on her face as she pinned the corsage on her dress was answer enough for Jeff.
"Buckle up everyone, we're on our way." He said.
"Road trip!" Troy and Abed yelled simultaneously.
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As they drove around the edge of the Denver metropolitan area and into the rising sun, Jeff cheerfully explained the deal he'd reached with Abed - there was a racetrack an hour's drive away that was having an open day, he'd spend the morning taking the guys round the track and allowing Abed to take footage and sound recordings of the car going flat out before they'd drive back along country roads to allow him to take footage from the side of the road. The journey there had it's diversions however.
("Look at Jeff and smile at him Annie," Abed said.
"Why, Abed?"
"I need some reaction shots. We can decide what you're reacting to later."
So she turned, looked at Jeff and pasted a smile on her face. Either not knowing she was supposed to be acting or not caring, he smiled back. Annie decided she liked his smile.
"That's the look I need," Abed said.)
However, the attempt to play games didn't go so well.
("I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'S'."
"Sky, Troy."
"How did you get it so quickly, Jeff?"
"What else is there, buddy?"
Troy looked out over the flat, empty plains of eastern Colorado. "Oh yeah," he said sadly.)
They got to the racetrack in time for the safety briefing, only for the boys to disappear with their camera and sound equipment while Jeff was checking out safety helmets.
"They ran off to get B-roll of the track and parked cars," Annie said apologetically.
"Then you're up first," Jeff said with a grin. "You'll need this," he tossed her a helmet.
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Sitting in the passenger seat of Jeff's car on the starting line, listening to the gathering roar of engines around her as the starting clock counted down, Annie decided she'd never been so terrified in her life. She watched nervously as Jeff stood on both the gas pedal and the brake at the same time and hit a button on the dashboard. She felt the car start to vibrate as the engine started to give her some hint of just what four hundred and eighty horsepower meant.
"There's one statistic you really need to remember with this car Annie," Jeff's grin was wolfish.
"Yes?" Annie managed to squeak.
"Zero to sixty in three and a half seconds." The countdown ended, Jeff released the brake and Annie was abruptly slammed into her seat as the launch control hurled the car forward. By the time it reached the first bend, Annie was screaming - whether out of fear or exhilaration she wasn't sure - and it felt like she barely stopped before the car finally took the chequered flag.
"I've never been so scared in all my life," she eventually managed to say when the car rolled to a halt in the paddock.
"In a good way or a bad way?" Jeff grinned at her.
Annie rolled her eyes. "Help me out please - I don't think I can stand."
Jeff jogged around the car, offered her his hand and helped her out of the car. When her knees gave way as she tried to stand, his arm slipped smoothly round her waist to hold her up.
She smiled and blushed as he caught her, and then her smile faded slightly. How many times have you done this before, Jeff? Then she shrugged, decided she wasn't going to care if this was a regular thing and would simply enjoy allowing him to support her until her legs were ready to.
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"Not that this isn't the coolest day out ever-" Troy was loaded down with a track branded baseball cap, scarf and a giant foam hand, his one free hand was holding a colossal hot dog he'd bought from a concession stand. The guys were walking back to where the cars were coming to a halt as they left the track. "But why are we doing this, Abed? You haven't decided what sort of movie you're making yet and you've never mentioned wanting to make a road movie."
"When was the last time we had pancakes for breakfast?" Abed said.
Troy's forehead wrinkled in confusion at the apparent non-sequitur.
"Eerrrm… four weeks ago when we stopped at IHOP on the way back from the midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Troy grinned suddenly as he remembered that night. "You were the coolest Frank, dude!"
Abed's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "When we was the last time we ate homemade pancakes for breakfast? At home?" he amended.
Troy's puzzled expression returned. "Was it… before Annie found out she was being catfished?"
Abed nodded in approval. "That's right. She hasn't looked at another guy since, and she hasn't made pancakes."
"I don't get the connection, buddy." Troy was still looking confused.
"She flicked her hair and giggled when Jeff complimented her on her filing that first day he was at Greendale. It's the first time she's done that for a guy since Rich."
"Oooh," understanding was dawning across Troy's face. "You think if we hook her up with Jeff she'll start making pancakes again? And be happy," he added, almost as an afterthought.
"For breakfast, Troy." Abed said firmly.
"For bre- damn, but he's moving fast!" Troy's response was interrupted by the sight of Jeff helping Annie out of the car and slipping an arm around her waist as she smiled up at him. They walked a couple of paces like that then Annie slipped out from under Jeff's arm when she saw the boys and waved to attract their attention.
"How was your race Annie?" Abed said as the two groups closed up on each other.
"It was terrifying - you've got to do it!" Annie was practically vibrating with adrenaline aftershock.
Jeff smiled indulgently as he watched her excitement. "Okay, who's next?" he said.
XXXXXX
It's actually been a good day, Jeff thought to himself as the Ferrari drove into the sunset on the way home. He'd kept his promise to give Abed and Troy runs round the track - Abed had almost frozen solid with fear, but Troy whooped with glee all the way round and high fived Jeff at the end (admittedly, he only got in the car after Jeff apologised for the joke about the hot girl sensor). They'd had Annie's picnic lunch at the track and then driven even further east to get the road footage Abed wanted and then had dinner at a roadside diner that billed itself as the last chance to stop for fuel and refreshments before Kansas. The sun was already touching the horizon as they started back, and now as it got dark and the car's headlights came on Jeff was the only one still awake, alone with his thoughts.
They went in some decidedly diverse directions. Are they a couple? He thought as he glanced in the rear view mirror and saw Abed's head resting on Troy's shoulder. I've known gay couples who've been together twenty years who are less in sync than those guys. Reluctantly he discarded that idea - well though it fit, Jeff was sure Britta would never have been able to keep that a secret, especially during the periods she was sleeping with Troy. For the same reason, he discarded the idea that there was some strange triad thing going on with Annie, for all that they lived under the same roof and seemed to do almost everything together.
Maybe I just really want to believe she's single, he thought to himself - Jeff was a sufficiently experienced lawyer to know that you should check extra hard when the evidence seemed to confirm your wishes, but he discarded that thought when he recalled the guys seemed to be happy that he was interested in Annie and were supportive of him chasing her. Unless they really are gay after all, and want some of the Winger action for themselves and are using her to reel me in, he chuckled to himself at the thought.
"Wazzup?" Annie had stirred at the noise, Jeff turned to look at her only to smile softly at the sight of her already drifting back to sleep.
But most of all, as the car ate up the miles heading west and as twilight gave way to night which in turn gave way to the lights of Denver on the horizon, Jeff found his thoughts coming back to the girl in the passenger seat. He realised suddenly that in the brief time he'd known her he'd seen her angry, he'd seen her stressed, he'd seen her focussed and passionate, he'd even seen her laugh, but he'd never seen her relax or simply be happy. Now as he glanced at her in the corner of his eye, stretched full length into the footwell, hands crossed on her lap and her head resting peacefully on her shoulder with a small smile on her lips as she dreamt of something that amused her, he realised he could tick the first of those two outstanding states off his list. Who are you Annie Edison, what does it take to make you happy? He thought suddenly.
As his mind wandered down these pathways, he found himself increasingly rueing the lost opportunity their failed date represented. I know you better now, he thought as once again he recalled the day just past spending time with her (and her friends, tell nobody but he didn't hate the time spent with Troy and Abed either) doing uncomplicated, fun things that had nothing to do with gaining advantage over a rival or wooing a contact. He was pretty confident she'd enjoyed herself too - I guess I'm even awesome at not going out of my way to be awesome, he thought to himself with a smirk as he came to a decision. I want to try again. Will you let me?
XXXXXX
"We're back guys," Jeff announced as they got back to their starting point.
A combination of a late night, an early start, a busy day, a big meal and straight, empty roads had sent Annie to sleep almost immediately after leaving the diner. She mumbled an apology followed by a thank you to Jeff as she stirred awake and stretched - she blushed slightly as she saw the way he looked at her while she did, but she couldn't help the hint of a warm glow inside. Okay, so maybe there's a little more to you than a self-obsessed jerk who's a bit too aware of how good looking he is, she thought with an inward smile as she remembered the day they'd had - in particular his patience with Troy and Abed's antics (with one exception - the giant foam rubber hand had been stuffed into a trash bin when Troy attempted to tie it to the trunk of the car), something which was very rare among people who hadn't known them for a very long time. It was - conditionally at least - a good point in Annie's book.
Troy and Abed had already clambered out of the back of the car as Annie rather more sedately exited and were gathering their things from the trunk as Jeff walked around and joined her.
"Thanks for letting me do this," he said quietly. "You would have had every right to tell me to pound sand after the other night."
"I did it for Abed," the small smile on Annie's face belied her words somewhat. "He would never have forgiven me if I'd cost him his chance to-"
"That's everything," Abed interrupted as he and Troy closed the trunk and stood up to face them. "Do you want to stay the night, Jeff? It's getting late and our couch is comfortable."
Jeff smiled. "Thanks Abed - I don't think I want to risk leaving my car parked on the street overnight in this neighbourhood though."
Abed tilted his head as though considering this, then nodded once. "We'll get our things inside. It's been a good day, Jeff."
"Thanks dude - awesome car! See you next time," Troy said as he offered Jeff a handshake. They both squeezed, squeezed a bit harder and then let go, as though satisfied with the result of the strength test.
"It's been fun Troy. Until next time buddy," Jeff replied amiably.
"Come up when you're ready Annie," Abed said as he started walking towards the door.
"Are we leaving them alone?" Troy fake whispered as he followed Abed into the building.
Annie shifted nervously on her feet as she realised she was indeed alone with Jeff. He simply smiled as though he found her nervousness to be adorable.
"I really am sorry about the other night," he said after a moment. "And if it's okay with you I'd like to try a do-over."
Annie's heart leapt into her mouth as the mellow glow she'd woken up with was abruptly replaced with nervous anticipation. He can't be, can he?
"We had fun today, didn't we?" Jeff continued. Annie nodded, somewhat shakily.
"I'd like to show you we still can without needing your roommates along for the ride," he grinned ruefully and nodded in the direction of the door Troy and Abed had just gone through.
Annie was temporarily silent while warring thoughts clashed in her head - on the one hand, he was smiling at her in a way that made her toes tingle, but on the other - you'd better not be thinking I'm the sort of girl who's head can be turned by a fancy car and a smooth line, Jeff. You're going to need to work harder than that to prove you're serious about this.
Instead she returned his smile, though hers was bright and assertive not soft and seductive. "That's a nice thought Jeff, but it's getting late - do you mind if I sleep on it?"
And then, because she saw no harm in very slightly giving in to temptation (though she told herself she was merely throwing him a bone), she stood up on tiptoe to give him the lightest peck on the cheek before retreating out of range before his arms could close on her. "Goodnight, Jeff," She said as she turned on the spot and, with a small wave, followed Troy and Abed into the building.
You little minx! Jeff was stunned into immobility, completely unable to take his eyes off Annie's retreating form. I was so close, I know I was! You're going to be the death of me, Annie Edison.
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Has MISS EDISON taken the measure of the charming rake? Will MR WINGER come up with another scheme or is he now the one waiting on events? And will MR NADIR ever eat MISS EDISON's home made pancakes again? Tune in at the same time next week for another episode of "The Road Goes Ever on"... (Author' note - it has just occurred to me that I've got half way into this thing without giving due thanks to my inestimable beta reader Jeffwik, who has, as always, read every last word of every chapter and suggested countless improvements, all of which have improved and tightened up the story. Thanks Jeff!)
