First things first:

Thanks to TracyBrooke for editing!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed - especially Angel, Nichole and Suzanne, because I couldn't answer their reviews.

I know that Veronica in this chapter is sort of OOC, but this isn't the same Veronica we knew from the TV-show, she never was raped, she never had to face Lamb laughing at her face, she didn't went months wondering what happen, facing the fear of having some nasty picture of her spread around, doubting of everyone. She's is still a sweet version of Veronica, who's starting just now to know her own strength.

Thanks for the reviews!

PS. I'm reposting this because JasterLady found a lot of mistakes! So I'm fixing as much grammar errors I can!

***** Chapter 4 ****

Veronica V.O.: 'Thereare a lot of things that can scare you, but believe me, waking up in a place you don't know, feeling like your brain was smashed in the night,and wearing a t-shirt too bigto be yours, whenthe last thing you remember was standing in a party drinking your soda, can scare you a lot.'

Veronica rubbed her face before stretching. "Oh gosh, my head," she moaned before slowly opening her eyes. She looked around: nothing was vaguely familiar in the semi-dark room.

She looked down at the shirt she had on; it too was unfamiliar. She saw her dress on a chair, stretched to reach it, and covered herself with it as if she was naked. There was something on it… a spot, a tiny ruby red stain around what should be her waist. Slowly moving the sheets she was covered by, she looked at her exposed legs, and she could see some marks on her thighs.

Tears filled her eyes, and she started to tremble violently, rocking herself back and forth. Veronica Mars, the biggest slut at Neptune, did lose her virginity, and she didn't even remember how.

"Oh crap!" A male voice nearby made her jump.

Her sight was blurred by tears. She felt strong arms around her, and she trembled even more. "I didn't mean for you to wake up alone… I just went... you know… nature calls. Sorry."

Veronica saw his face appear beyond her tears as he wiped her face and whispered things to her that she was having difficulty understanding.

"Logan?" Hadshesleptwith Logan Echolls?"I don't remember…"

He nodded. "That's good."

"I don't remember!" Veronica persisted. Her hand tightened around her dress.

"It's okay, nothing happened." That was a lie and he knew that it was, so he amended, "Nothing major happened, Ronnie."

'Ronnie?' It seemed like centuries that someone had called her that.

"Why don't I remember?" she pleaded. "What happened to me?"

He was caressing her head, whispering that everything was all right now. She retracted herself from his embrace. "Please, Logan, I need to know!"

"Why don't you try to calm yourself and then we'll talk about that. Here, have a drink… Damnit, I knew I forgot something." He stood up, feeling like a rat at the idea of leaving her there without any answer. "I'll be right back with some water and then we'll talk. Okay?"

Veronica stared at him while he moved slowly toward the door. As soon he exited the room, she heard his steps run away. She couldn't stop trembling.

Logan Echolls.

He couldn't be her first. Tears again escaped without any barriers. That was too much. She couldn't believe she'd slept with Logan. He was Lilly's. Did she betray her best friend?

"I'm dead, silly!" She could almost hear Lilly's voice mocking her.

She rocked herself back and forth, having problems breathing.

And then again Logan was at the door, carrying a bottle of water and a glass. He poured the water for her, and then he gave her the glass.

Veronica's hand shook so violently that it was impossible for her to drink; she vainly tried to use the other hand to stop the trembling. She closed her eyes with embarrassment. Being so broken in front of Logan! All the school was going to laugh at her so badly. She even wondered if he took pictures of her being unconscious, just in order to make the rumor about her being completely spoiled more accurate. That thought made her shake even more, and tears rolled down her cheeks again.

She felt Logan's hand take the glass and his body move around her, hugging her. And then felt the glass against her lips.

"Slowly, drink slowly. I'm here, don't cry. Everything is okay now."

She tried to understand the reason why Logan Echolls' presence should calm her down. But she drank anyway.

Veronica could hear him whisper "Good girl" into her ear when she sipped the water. He stayed in that position until her sobs subsided.

"Better?" he asked quietly.

She didn't answer. "We… did …" She couldn't say that. Not to Logan. "It was you? The one…"

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember I saw Duncan kissing a girl. I remember..." her voice trembled, but she pressed on. "You." She moved her eyes away from his.

'Wonderful. The last thing she remembers is me being an asshole and having fun at her expense.' Logan silently coursed himself.

"And then … I don't know."

He spoke slowly, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "You had quite a night. You had some Liquid X, but it was supposed to be for someone else."

Veronica sniffed and her breath trembled. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

A faint smile appeared on Logan's lips "Good question."

"Logan?" She blushed deeply as she continued, "Did we…" She vaguely gestured to the bed without daring to look at his eyes.

He was taken aback by her question, but he responded immediately. "No!"

"But the dress…" Her voice trembled with guilt.

"My mother changed you while I waited outside. We thought you would be more comfy."

She stared at him long before speaking. "But we…" she trailed off again, and she blushed without being able to return his gaze.

"No. I swear: nothing happened with us," he reassured, even if part of him was affected by the mix of fear, disgust, and shame Veronica's face showed at the idea of having slept with him.

She closed her eyes as she went on. "And who was? I mean the one I … slept with."

Logan frowned. "I thought you didn't remember?"

He barely heard her whispered answer. "I don't."

Her eyes again filled with tears, but she refused to let Logan see her crying more. She needed to be strong. When she looked at him again, he seemed confused, and she realized he wasn't going to add anything.

"I… I have bruises on my legs that I didn't have yesterday," she explained quietly "And there… there is blood on my dress… that must mean…" again her voice trembled violently, and she broke off.

'Crap,I was right... she is stilla virgin! Beaver was going to…'

Veronica felt him tense, and as she looked at him, she started to tremble again. If Logan was so tense, whatever he had to say wasn't going to be a good thing.

Then suddenly he smiled and stroked her face. "That," he said pointing to the dress "Is mine. Not the dress, of course," he tried to joke, "But the blood. See?" He showed her his right fist, all wrapped in fresh bandages.

"I was still bleeding when I fastened your safety belt. So you're still…" he paused a second to find the correct word but none seemed right. "Okay."

Veronica breathed again, covering her mouth in relief. "Oh God!" She half-smiled at him gratefully. She breathed a couple of times, relieved, and then she darkened again. "Then why the marks?"

Logan breathed deeply a couple of time. "Why don't we leave that with a 'you're safe now and nothing happened'?"

"I have to know, Logan, please!"

"Are you sure you want to know the whole thing?"

She nodded.

And again, for what seemed to him the billionth time he'd repeated it, he told her about the shots, about her kissing Dick and the whole Beaver incident.

She clapped her hand over her mouth, her stomach twisted. Logan understood and practically dragged her to the toilet.

He knelt next to her, holding her long hair without knowing what he could do to help her to feel better while she emptied her stomach.

The young boy helped her to move next to the sink where she refreshed herself.

"What did I do wrong?" she whispered. "Why?"

Logan forced her to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to let you blame yourself! Understood? It's not your fault!"

There was a very long silence, not an unpleasant one, but a needed one.

Veronica needed to face what happened to her, and having Logan there as if nothing had happened between them after Lilly's death helped.

In the silence, Logan looked at her. He was ashamed of himself; his former best friend's life was spoiled thanks to him.

"I wish Lilly could be here," she whispered after a long while.

"I know."

"I hate the world without her."

"Me too," Logan replied, before pausing. Should he tell Veronica the real reason why he helped? Would that help her to feel better? "But I know she's watching us."

Veronica almost smiled at the naivety of Logan's statement. She breathed deeply. "She would hate me."

"Never!"

"She would say that I'm weak. That I didn't deserve to be her friend."

Logan made her turn toward the sink again. He pointed the reflected girl in the mirror. "Lilly would say she's proud you still fight for her. She would say you're tougher than she thought, because you were able to be yourself even against the whole school. Because you fought to find her killer, no matter the price you had to pay. You've given all you have looking for the truth. She would be proud. Believe me."

"Why are you so…" Kind? Gentle? Sure? "Not-Logan?"

He laughed. "Maybe I'm tired of being an asshole. Or maybe I miss my friend."

"Yeah, I miss her too."

"I wasn't talking about Lilly." He gave her a new toothbrush, and some towels. "Take your time; take a shower, have a bath, whatever. Make yourself at home. I'll ask Mom if she has something you can wear. Sorry about the dress."

"I… I guess I'll burn it anyway."

"That's a shame. You were pretty in it." With that, he left.