Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to about this story to bounce ideas off of or what not. Sorry for the wait husband wanted 'family' time. Whatever that is ;)
As usual Stephenie Meyers owns all, no infringement intended.
Alice finds me this time. There is no pity in her eyes like there has been for so many days in her counterparts eyes; her expression seethes anger.
"I want to cut that bitch," she says finally, after I explain to her what happened on my trip to the pharmacy.
"Yea, like that's going to help, Alice." Rose butts-in unexpectedly, closing the front door behind her.
I wondered briefly if anyone even bothers to knock when they come over nowadays.
"Well she's acting like a cunt." Alice spats out before turning back to the kitchen throwing cans and food into my cabinets and fridge angrily.
"Even so, Edward loves her. Just like Jasper loved you when you were having your own cunty moment." Rose and Alice's banter is somewhat amusing and slightly confuses me.
Alice just stares at Rose for a long moment, Rose's hand rests on one hip an eyebrow raised. It almost looks like she is daring Alice to say something else. Alice finally looks away and Rose seems to take this as a sign of defeat.
"You're a bitch too." Alice is the first to break the silence again after that, but all Rose does is laugh in response.
There seems to be a new silent understanding between them, and I don't even bother to try to understand it.
Alice finishes putting the rest of the food away, having kept out a few things to prepare for dinner. Rose moves throughout the house tidying up and starting a load of my laundry.
"Edward," Rose turns to me, "have you thought about maybe going somewhere?"
"Like a shrink?" I ponder aloud.
"Well, you could do that too, but no. I meant like going somewhere out of town. You know, away, from Bella. Maybe it will help you clear your mind."
"I think that would be a great idea," Alice chimes in over the sound of her chopping something up for dinner.
"Look Edward, Em and I have a condo in Ventura. You can go use it for as long as you need to. Get some sun and fresh air. Go. Clear your head. You don't have to decide now, just know it's an option if you need it."
"Thank you." I don't know what else to say, but the more that I think about it the more I realize just how much I need it; want it even. To put miles and miles between any memories of Bella and I.
"That sounds nice. Maybe you guys can come with me?" I ask, sounding more desperate than I had intended to.
"I'm in!" Alice smiles at me from ear to ear; she is always looking for a reason to go to the beach.
"Of course." Rose smiles sympathetically at me, patting the top of my knee.
I know I will need time alone, but I also know that I don't want the support system that has been keeping me going this past week to be so far away. Just in case.
Just like that it is decided, and we are on our way to a land of sunshine and no Bella.
My family is bustling as we step into the cool ocean air after so long of being stuck in a stuffy car. Rose refused to let the windows even be cracked in case it may mess up her hair on the drive down. Now Alice is currently not speaking to her, because Alice only rides with the windows down. Ignoring them I turn to look up at the condo.
I am feeling uneasy. Reaching for my phone I feel that I need to tell Bella. In all of the time that we have been together we have always known where the other is.
"Don't." Jasper's hand is on my own pushing my hand away from my phone.
"What if she needs me?" The question even sounds ridiculous to me. She has made it very obvious that she no longer needs me.
"If she doesn't answer it will only make it worse. Don't worry, Alice already told her we'd be going."
I am unsure how to feel knowing that Alice has told her. Unsure of how I feel that Bella knows where I am. Somehow this knowledge makes me feel like she could show up at any moment, and I am suddenly very on edge. What would I do if I saw her here?
Emmett throws his arm around my shoulders, clapping my arm. "Wait until you see this place!"
He is right of course, the place is gorgeous and taking the tour helps to calm my nerves. I realize how ridiculous I was being; of course Bella isn't going to show up here.
Everyone settles into their own rooms, and there is noise coming from every direction of the house. I am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed, smothered by everything going on.
"I'm gonna go take a walk." I say to no one in particular because nobody is even looking at me, but I walk out the back door anyway.
The deck goes straight out onto the beach, and I am engulfed by sand and the sound of crashing waves. It is eerily comforting. I find a good place to sit down where nobody will take notice of me.
I watch the waves crashing against the shore, taking in everything before me. Seagulls yell at one another overhead, passing by, their eyes always open searching for something to eat. Looking out at the endless water I feel like nothing more than a speck where I sit; my problems seemingly tiny.
The sound of the water has kept my mind from wandering anywhere and I am simply taking in everything that is around me. Nothing more than a rock observing life.
The sun begins to set and beautiful colors are splashed out across the sky. The water still collides roughly into the earth, but somehow it feels calmer. The atmosphere the earth is emitting screams romance, and I think briefly how Bella would love this.
The lump is back in my throat. Bella always wanted to go places like this. Why didn't I ever take her? Our lives had become so engulfed in work and trying to get ahead, that all of our plans had been put off until 'tomorrow'. Why hadn't I ever taken the initiative to make tomorrow, today?
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I don't think before I send the text message.
Tears flow freely down my face as I hug my knees up into my chest, placing the phone beside me. The message stares up at me, taunting me before the light fades to black.
I'm sorry I couldn't be more.
Bella is not finished in this story, and I don't just mean the memory of her from Edward. Just a heads up in case you think Edward is going to meet the new love of his life or anything. :) Promise I have a general idea of what I'm doing...i think.
