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After Sadie and her brother left the Land of the Dead, I started walking around, already missing Sadie. She was the only one that could make me feel jubilant. And with me, that's a near impossible task, with me being depressed (that is what the other gods say) half the time. I looked over my shoulder at Ammit. He was still sleeping. It only made me feel even worse.

What did I expect? For him to be awake? I sighed.

When Lord Osiris disappeared, I had only Ammit. The other gods find it very strange, but Ammit is my best friend. You see when I was small, most other young gods were in their teen years, except for Horus and I. But with Horus's attitude towards me, there was no way in Ra's name that I would befriend him. I was a very young god. So Ammit became my friend, my only friend.

I get the feeling that Sadie is going to be my new friend, but a special kind of friend. That made me go happy inside. I heard Ammit yip in his sleep. My past mood went over me again.

I suddenly thought of visiting my grandmother, Nut. Yes, I'll visit her. She was always alone up there, I at least had Ammit. I went over to him and scratched the back of his ear.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon" I whispered.

And with that, I opened a portal. The portals I use are made purely out of shadow and are better, since they don't spew out sand. But they require more concentration and magic to cast them. That is why I have to be careful not to use them too often, or risk having a magical breakdown.

I entered the portal.

When I came out of it, I was in grandmother's house, high up in the sky. I landed in the middle of her blood red rug. I do not know why she keeps a rug that is the color of chaos and evil. Maybe it reminds her of her youngest son, the one whom had turned evil, the one she thought she had failed so badly. I do not know.

That made me wonder things that I don't like to wonder. Like if my father would have raised me as his own, or disowned me. If he would have cared for me even though I am different and not a warrior. If he would have kept me. If he had even wanted me.

So many ifs. I needed to dispel the thoughts out of my mind. I did not like thinking them, they made me extraordinarily uncomfortable. And after all the things I have heard about father, he sounds extremely unpleasant. Everybody I knew told me to stay away from him. If you see him, run to Isis or me! Lord Osiris used to tell me when I was small. I did not know why I had to do that at the time, but I never questioned their motives.

The smell of something delicious suddenly dispelled those thoughts from my mind.

I smelled sahlab cooking. I loved that stuff. It is so sweet and tasty and delicious. Grandmother Nut makes the best sahlab ever. Just thinking about it makes me hungry.

There is no one who can make better sahlab than grandmother, Isis's sahlab is simply terrible.

"Hello, Anubis."

"Hello, grandmother," I greeted her.

"It is always nice to see you. Do you want some sahlab? I know it is your favorite,"

"Yes! Please," I almost forgot to say please.

I waited for about fifteen minutes, and then she walked back to me and gave me a mug filled with sahlab. I eagerly drank it. In a matter of minutes, it was gone. I placed the mug in the table in front of the couch. The whole time, grandmother had been looking at me.

"What?" I didn't mean to be rude, but I did not really like it when people stared at me. It made me uncomfortable.

Grandmother blinked.

"I'm sorry, it's just that you look so much like-" She stopped herself.

"Like who?" I inquired.

"Nothing."

I decided it wasn't that important, so I decided to ask her what "hot" meant. I didn't really want to go Thoth, he was very annoying. When I asked her this, she giggled. Was this supposed to be funny?

"What is so funny?" I asked, annoyed.

"Nothing really, you should ask Thoth that. I'm sure he can give you a decent explanation."

I groaned. "Every time I visit Thoth, he always insists that I take therapy from him for my 'depression'. Then he asks about Ammit. It gets annoying to the point where I feel like I will-never mind. But you get the idea."

Grandmother chuckled. "yes, I get the idea. But do talk to Thoth, I don't think I can tell you what hot means appropriately enough." She looked at my hair disapprovingly. "Anubis! Brush your hair for once. It looks like it's never seen a brush!"

"Fine, I will go to Thoth, then."

"And brush your hair, too."

"Yes, Grandmother, I will."

"Good."

"I will go to Thoth now. Thank you for the sahlab. It was delicious, as always"

"Your welcome, my dear. Oh! Anubis?

"Yes?"

"Do you have any feelings for a particular someone?"

My thoughts immediately went to Sadie for some reason. And why was Grandmother asking me this? Was she trying to imply that I... No, I couldn't love Sadie. Couldn't I?I am the god of death. I am not supposed to know love! That is something I know without doubt (that is why Hathor thinks there is something severely wrong with me. I secretly think she is severely crazy, though). So why was Grandmother trying to imply that?

Or maybe I am just over-analyzing the situation. Maybe.

"I do not know..." I whispered.

Grandmother frowned a bit. "Nobody in particular...?"

"No..."

She sighed, not hiding her disappointment very well.

"I-I will go now," I said uncomfortably. I opened a portal, hugged her, and stepped in. Everything went black and dark.

When I stepped out, I was in the Land of the Dead. I was not going to Thoth's yet. I supposed that that is what Thoth would call procrastinating. If so, I have a strange habit of procrastinating events I do not like.

I went to were Ammit was sleeping, and scratched his left ear. I sat down next to him, and started thinking about what Grandmother had said. Do you have any feelings for anyone in particular? For Sadie? Maybe. But maybe I will figure it out once my feelings stop being so confusing every time I think of Sadie

Yes, maybe then I will know.