Chapter 3: Mission Improbable
"G-Dog, remind me next time to bring my playing cards, because this is ridiculous," Calico grumbled as she looked at her watch. Echelon 3 had been in the briefing room for over an hour, and their commander had still yet to show his face.
"That idiot fell asleep fifteen minutes ago Calico," WA2000 replied, her voice partially muffled from the desk her head was resting against. Indeed, the handgun T-Doll Grizzly was napping quietly in the corner of the room, her chest rising and falling at an even cadence, sneakily using her aviators to cover her shut eyes.
"Commander Blair is always f-fashionably late, this should be ap-ap-apparent by now," Lee-Enfield answered, as she brewed her third cup of tea in the past ten minutes.
"Miss Lee, that does not seem all that wise, perhaps it is best to stop drinking tea for now, you are beginning to have a case of the shakes," Welrod said concerned as she looked at Lee's trembling hands.
"Nah Welrod, let Lee have this one… she still needs to calm down from the smooch Momfield gave her earlier," Calico chuckled as she blew a kiss at Lee.
"I have said multiple times and I will say it again: I do not have feelings for that woman! Especially with how much she teases me," Lee said firmly, although her reddening face suggested otherwise.
"Right… well, as the "Love Doctor" I predict that sometime in the future, you two will get together," Calico said with a laugh, waving her hands as if she were a master of the mystical arts.
Just as Lee was about to let out a retort, the door to the briefing room swung open. The members of Echelon 3 snapped to attention, Calico giving Grizzly a slap across the back of her head to wake her up. There was silence for a moment, as the echelon waited for whoever was about to answer, silence until a small whining noise could be heard approaching the door frame. A man in a white lab coat and a matching, trimmed, white beard floated into the room.
"Afternoon Girls! A pleasure to see ye again!" James Bukowski chuckled.
"What's up Dr. Wily?" Calico replied as she smirked up at the old man now a foot taller than he usually was.
"It's Dr. Light, Calico. And I'm doin fine thank ya for askin. How do ya gurls like mah ride?" James replied grinning as he spun in a circle. The girls lifted themselves out of their seats to see the new gadget James had got his paws on, and as always the man didn't fail to amuse them.
"W-What the hell is that?" Grizzly asked, a wide smile on her face as she examined James's set of wheels.
"It's called a Hoverboard! Foun' it at last week's auction in Glasgow. Cost me half a month's salary. Used to be all the rage when I was younger… pretty fire am I right," James beamed, absolutely proud of his new toy.
"Fire?" Lee inquired in a very confused and concerned voice.
"Apparently when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, people would say awesome things were 'hot,' and when this old man was actually riding around on this thing unironically, people would say it was 'fire,'" Calico replied shaking her head, a smirk on her face.
"I'll have you know Calico, it is quite fun," James replied with a laugh as he maneuvered around the room.
"Oh thank God you didn't say gnarly, I would have had a laughing fit," Calico chuckled as she followed James with her eyes.
"Oh aye, an wha abou' wicked?" James said with a laugh as he pulled up in his ride next to Calico, stepped off and had a seat.
"At least that one sounds cool," Calico replied, punching the old man in the shoulder, who reacted as if incredibly pained.
"Oof… ya b-broke me scapula!" James muttered.
"Ok, I know you're a gazillion years old, but I know for sure you're tougher than that," Calico replied with a smile, "but really though, how much did that hunk of junk on wheels cost you?"
"Eh, abou' hundred pounds or so," James said with a shrug.
The door to the creaked open again, and finally the man of the hour, Commander Eric Blair, made his appearance. Behind him walked a man in a cream trench coat and fedora, his hands stuffed in his pockets.
"Attention!" Welrod cried as everyone in the room got to their feet. Blair set down a box full of paperwork before turning back to Echelon 3.
"At ease girls. You'll want to relax, this may take a while." Blair replied with a smile as he took out the film projector.
"Hey boss, what's up with Dick Tracy over here?" Grizzly asked.
"Dick Tracy is not here, for I am…" the figure replied as he removed his fedora, "the Lord of Pigeons!"
"Yea sure, whatever you say Inspector Gadget," Grizzly replied, rolling her eyes.
"Duchess," John replied with a wink.
"Lord of Pigeons," Welrod said with a curtsy before taking her seat, much to the amusement of her echelon.
"Not that happy reunions aren't fun or anything, but can we get going, my ice cream is melting," WA2000 whined.
"Good timing then, Miss Lee, the lights of you would please," Eric said jovially as he turned on the projector.
The room was plunged into darkness, the projector casting a picture of the map of Europe on the opposite wall. John walked to the front of the room and began his speech.
"Good evening girls. I believe only Miss Welrod and I have met. My name is John Le'Carre, and I am a retired MI6 agent working alongside G&K for recruitment purposes. You might remember I assisted you deposing the tyrant Archibald from his position," John began.
"Yea, you go Sam!" Calico replied, throwing her fist in the air.
"Sam?" Welrod whispered to James.
"From a game an' cartoon series Sam n' Max. Detective show about a dog private investigator and his rabbit partner," James replied.
"Find a new friend James?" Welrod said with a smile.
"Maybe… I find that stuff endearing, she finds it hilarious, so it works out," James replied with a wink.
"Anyway, I have come before you today with a mission of grave importance, one that could shape the futures of all nations in the European Union. Whispers speak of an organization known as the Syndicate moving to cause havoc in mainland Europe. With the sudden disappearance of Sangvis Ferri, and civil unrest in cities across the mainland, they would be able to move about unseen and unhindered. We at the agency urge you to stop them," John continued.
"So… what, we waltz right into their secret base and blow em up? Sounds easy enough," Grizzly replied with a yawn.
"It would be that simple… except we neither know where they are nor what they want. What we do know is that they are tied to the attempted assassinations of Eric Blair and Miss Welrod, as well as this voice you girls keep hearing. And…" John said as he put in a new slide, "we have a lead on how to find out more. Our contact in Switzerland informed us of a shipment of documents in transit to Antwerp. Your first objective is to intercept the convoy, and find out what these documents entail. Only then can we proceed with the next part of the plan."
"So let me get this straight: you only know that there MAY be an organization that's trying to take over the world, and that there MAY be some documents we need to stop them… what kind of secret agent are you?" WA2000 said, her voice incredibly annoyed.
"The best. I am sorry I do not have much else for you, but if you obtain these documents, I am certain we will have a better sense of direction going forward. Understood?" John replied, as he snapped up his suitcase.
"Yes Sir," The echelon replied.
"Eric, I will leave the rest to you. Good day Miss Welrod, keep this idiot out of trouble," John said with a nod, before exiting the room as quickly as he entered.
"So… where does that leave us boss?" Grizzly asked, her feet now resting on the table in front of her.
"We shall be departing Sector 78 in six hours. This should be enough time for you girls to pack up for a several week journey. Report to the tarmac at 0100. Dismissed," Blair replied as he turned off the projector.
The echelon slowly filed out of the room, more confused than when they had first entered. Welrod stopped next to Eric for a moment, opening her mouth to say something, before closing it.
"Sir… I… I don't think we have a clue what we are doing," Welrod said concerned.
"I'll be honest with you Miss Welrod, I agree. However, if these documents prove to be fruitful, we would be in the good graces of Europe forever. Plus, who wouldn't want a trip to scenic Switzerland," Blair replied.
"I understand, but we are operating out of our depth, what if something were to happen?" Welrod asked.
"Wells, I wouldn't worry too much about things. It's Switzerland of all places, what could happen?"
