THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER 4
I'm sorry this took so long. I've been really busy, and the internet has been down for days.
Castiel was in deep sleep when he felt an earthquake. Well, it felt like an earthquake, but it was really just Dean. ''Morning, sunshine! Get up, let's go.'' He was shaking the bed furiously, obviously trying to kill him. Okay, that may have been an overstatement, but it was important for Castiel to get enough sleep. Anything under six hours was unacceptable. It wasn't healthy, and it left him feeling grumpy for the rest of the day. He sat up in the motel bed, rubbing his eyes hard. ''Was that really necessary, Dean?''
''Yeah. Sorry, but we gotta' go.''
Castiel frowned, turning his head to look out of the window. It was still dark. ''Dean, what time is it?''
''Four in the morning. Come on, we need to go.'' He said, furrowing his eyebrows.
''Four in the morning? Dean, that means I only got four hours of sleep! Do you know how important it is for humans to get enough sleep, I need at least six hours to function like a normal-''
''Alright, just shut up! Meg is after us, and we need to move quickly. So when you've stopped bitching like a baby, can we please just go?!'' Dean snapped.
Castiel froze. He'd never seen the angel so upset before, so angry. He was surprised Dean hadn't told him about Meg earlier, and it sort of upset him. He was to be protected, but he was not a baby. Nor was he ''bitching''- He was simply just questioning the angel. He deserved to know the truth about their situation, and apparently Dean didn't see it that way. He sighed in frustration, grabbing his bag when he got up. ''Fine.'' He said coldly, not looking Dean in the eyes.
Yes, the next hours were probably going to be really uncomfortable
~. ~.~.~
Peter was working his morning shift when a woman approached him. She was really attractive, with round cheeks and brown curls. He flashed his best smile. ''Hello, how can I help you?''
The woman smirked, and Peter found himself blushing. ''I was just wondering if you'd seen my boyfriend. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, dorky…''
''I'm sorry, miss. I'm not really allowed to talk about other guests.'' He replied, and to his fear she started tearing up.
''You don't understand!'' She cried. ''I think he's cheating on me, and we've been together for five years. I need to know if he was here. Please.''
He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. ''Uh, I… Yes, there was a man here with blue eyes and brown hair-''
''Was he here alone?!'' She asked, cutting him off.
''He was here with another man. Uh… Brown leather jacket, brownish-blonde hair, green eyes...''
He expected her to be even more devastated, but to his surprise she smiled. She dried her tears away. ''Did they tell you where they were going?''
''Uh, I didn't really listen to their conversation, but I think they talked about going to Kansas. I'm not totally sure, though.''
''Thank you.'' She was grinning now, looking really happy as she left. Way too happy, considering she'd just found out her boyfriend was gay. Of course Peter didn't have any idea what he'd just done, and continued his day at work as usual.
~. ~.~.~
Apparently Cas was the grumpiest douche alive when he didn't get enough sleep. Every time Dean looked at him, he was looking out of the window. And every time Dean sighed in frustration and turned his head back to the road, he could feel Castiel glaring at him like he was the devil. Which was the complete opposite of what actually he was. He sort of missed how admiring and impressed Cas had been when they first met, now he looked like he couldn't wait to get rid of him. Dean decided to break the awkward silence after two boring hours.
''Okay, when are you gonna' stop acting like I just killed your pet?''
Cas turned to look at him, obviously lying when he said ''I have no idea what you're talking about.''
''Oh, come on! And don't look at me like that, you know very well what I'm talking about.''
''That happens when human beings only get four hours of sleep. They get grumpy.'' He replied coldly, turning his head to look out of the window again.
Dean sighed heavily, trying hard not to consider smiting the guy. ''Yeah, I get it, you're tired. Heck, I'm tired. But a friggin' demon is chasing after us, so you might wanna' thank me for saving your ass. You know, instead of glaring at me like that.''
''You didn't even tell me about Meg was after us until this morning! How am I supposed to trust you now?''
That comment made him chuckle. Yes, Cas was a little funny when he was angry. ''How are you supposed to trust me? Geez, quit acting like a nagging wife.''
''You're not a human, you don't know how wives act like.''
''Yeah, well, you are a human. And you don't even have a wife, so just shut your cakehole.''
But of course Cas was too annoyed to shut his cakehole, so he just kept on going. ''Yes, but at least I'm not an angel trying to be human! Yes, that's right. You heard me. You may party, and fornicate because you think it's 'fun', but certain people actually take God seriously. I'm one of them. And I'm sorry you don't understand, but I happen to love our father very much and I know I'm not one to judge him- but sometimes I wonder how you can even be an angel.''
In that moment it felt like he'd been stabbed with twenty thousand angel blades all at once. Those words were the last he needed to hear, especially from Cas. He could feel the emotions, that weren't supposed to be there in the first place, bottle up. However, he couldn't break down like this in front of Cas. That was unacceptable. Instead he turned his gaze back to road. Focusing on the road. Apparently Cas noticed, because five minutes later he started to apologize.
''Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was-''
'' Don't think for one moment I've never heard anything you just said before, Cas. In fact, I hear it on a daily basis, from all of my lovely brothers and sister in heaven. So if you think you, a human, can hurt me by saying those things just… stop. Cause' you can't hurt me. Like it or not, I'm the angel and you're the dull human.'' He paused. ''You know… I thought we could actually try to get along, just for the sake of it, but I see now that it won't work. So just try not to make me smite you before all this is over, and we can separate forever.'' He tried to speed the car up, but soon realized it wasn't going to go any faster. ''We need to move quicker.'' He placed his finger on Castiel's forehead, and zapped them over to somewhere in Spain. Before Cas could gasp or protest, or ask where the hell they were, he touched his forehead again, making him fall asleep. He picked him up, put him on the bed, and wrapped the blankets around him. He sighed as he took off, leaving for Kansas. He needed advice from an old friend.
~. ~.~.~
''Good morning, beautiful.'' Sam kissed his pregnant wife on the cheek, handing her a cup of hot chocolate. She chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist. ''I look awful, you moose.'' He planted a kiss on her forehead, patting her stomach gently. ''You look great. So does he.'' Then the doorbell rang, which was strange considering it was seven in the morning, and Ellen and Jo weren't coming over until noon. ''I'll take it.'' He mumbled. Out of old habit he pulled his gun out of the drawer in the hallway, taking a deep breath as he opened the door. He immediately dropped the gun, gasping when he saw who their mysterious guest was. His old friend walked past him, kicking his boots off as he grinned. ''Hey there Sam, how's life treating you?'' He closed the door behind him, pulling the angel into a hug. He eventually pulled out, smiling slightly. ''It's good to see you, Dean. But I'm a little startled, I mean, I didn't know you were coming…''
The angel just shrugged. ''I was bored, figured I'd stop by to see how my favorite humans were doing. So where is Jess?''
''In the kitchen. Come on, there's someone I want you to meet.'' Sam chuckled as Dean ran towards the kitchen, obviously excited to see her again. When he got to the kitchen, the angel was hugging (squeezing) his wife to death. ''Dean, stop it. We can't breathe.'' Jessica laughed. The angel let her go, furrowing his eyebrows. 'What do you mean, 'we' can't breathe?'' Sam walked over to his wife, running his fingers through her blonde hair. ''She's pregnant.'' He kissed her cheek. ''With a boy.'' Another kiss. ''We're calling him Dean.'' With a surprised expression on his face, the angel took a step back. His eyes widened, and he looked lost in thought. ''A-Are you serious?''
''Of course, Dean.'' Jessica smiled at him. ''Least thing we can do after what you did for us.''
''Thanks, really. That's… uhm, very nice. It's awesome…'' The angel mumbled, scratching his forehead. His expression changed from surprised to thankful, and from thankful to playful. ''Alright, enough with these chick flick moments, have you got some pie?''
Sam laughed at his attempt to not seem touched, but he saw right through him. ''Sure, Dean. Always have some around just in case you'll show up.''
~. ~.~.~
Castiel woke up after a few hours, feeling rather terrible. What he'd said to Dean had been awful, and completely not fair. Not only because it was such a cruel thing to say to someone he considered a friend; but also because it was completely inaccurate. He knew very well why Dean was an angel. He was loyal, brave, strong and a better being than Castiel would ever be. Unfortunately he'd been so caught up in the moment, he'd decided to hurt the angel. At least try. Because truth was, he'd been pretty hurt himself. He didn't think of Dean as just an angel anymore, he trusted him more than he'd trusted anyone in his entire life. He thought of him as his friend, and not just a guardian angel. So it hurt him when Dean had kept Meg a secret, like he thought Castiel couldn't take it. Like he thought he was a baby. Which was exactly what Dean had called him, a baby. And then a nagging wife, which was basically saying he was annoying and tiring. So yes, it hurt him deeply. Then there was the 'separate forever' part- the part that hurt him the most. He realized he didn't want to separate from Dean forever. He didn't want to lose the only true friend he'd ever had. He'd lived more with Dean in a couple days, than he had alone for many years. He'd laughed, and despite being humiliated and embarrassed a few times- he'd been happy. So what if Dean made fun of his yoga, and his balanced diet? So what if he wasn't what Castiel had expected an angel to be? He made him laugh. He made him smile. He'd introduced him to the pleasure it was of having an orgasm- And even if Castiel was never going to masturbate again, he knew what it felt like. At least he hadn't missed out on anything.
He definitely needed to apologize to Dean. So he got up, only to find out that he was alone in the hotel room. He didn't even know where he'd been zapped to, only that it was somewhere hot. And it definitely wasn't Kansas, which was where Dean had told him they'd go.
Sweat was dripping from his body, and he quickly pulled his t-shirt off. He found a bottle of water in the mini fridge, but he didn't drink it. Instead he poured it over himself, not caring about the mess he made. He lay down, shirtless, on his bed again. Sighing as he prayed.
''Dean, I don't know where you are, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. Do come back soon. Your friend, Castiel.''
~. ~.~.~
Just as Dean had finished eating Jessica's amazing homemade 'orgasm-in-your-mouth' pie, he and Sam sat down in the living room. As much as he loved Jess, this was something he needed to talk to Sam about. Alone. Sam was still suspicious to why he'd suddenly decided to drop by, and looked at him with that famous bitch face of his as they sat down in the couch. The tall man crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows. ''Why did you come, Dean?''
Dean chuckled, trying not to get emotional just yet. ''What? Can't I just visit you for the sake of it?''
''Dean, you always give me some sort of sign before you're coming. Besides, you seem different. Like you're worrying about something.''
''Right, uh…'' Dean sighed. ''Remember how my siblings were bitching about how I got too close to you and Jess when I helped you?''
''Yeah, of course I remember. You almost lost your grace. But what has that got to do with- Oh.'' The man paused, realizing the problem. ''You're afraid it might happen again, aren't you?''
''It's worse than that, Sam. I'm afraid it's already happening, I feel weaker. Besides, it's not like you and me. I mean, I love you like a brother, Sam. But with Cas… I dunno', it's just different. Kinda'…'' He looked away, unable to continue.
''Wait, are you trying to tell me that you're… You are, aren't you?'' Sam couldn't help but grin. ''Dean, are you in l-''
''What? No! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.'' He failed at an attempt to chuckle. ''You know me, Sam, it's impossible. I mean, it just doesn't happen. I'm not like that.''
''Not like what? We both know you're capable of having feelings, Dean. How is this stupid, or a bad thing? You have sex with humans all the time, how is this any different? I mean, I'm just assuming that you two-''
''Geez, we haven't had sex, Sam. I have way too much respect for him than to treat him like a one night stand, he's special.'' He put a hand over his mouth, stopping himself from saying even more embarrassing stuff. ''Uhm, I mean, just ignore that-'' He mumbled.
''Dean, are you even hearing yourself?'' Sam laughed loudly. ''Being in love is not a bad thing. I think it's great. Maybe you should consider telling him…?''
''Sam, you don't understand. Just imagine how the other angels would react if they found out, and God…''
''- God loves love more than anything else in the entire world. And when have you ever cared what your siblings think of you, anyway? Screw them, Dean, just go for it…''
''But, uhm… You know I'm bad at this, talking. You know I can't just be all Romeo and shit. It's not how I roll.''
He shot Sam a harsh glare when he started to laugh, he personally didn't find this situation funny at all. The human stopped laughing, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder. ''Sorry, Dean. It's just… You're being stupid, that's all. Look, I have to go shopping with Jess, and you should get back to Cas. And… don't be afraid of whatever you're feeling. Trust your emotions, okay?''
''You're such a girl, Sam.'' He rolled his eyes, but gratitude was hid behind that insult. And Sam knew that.
''Good talk, jerk.''
''See you around, bitch.''
~. ~.~.~
When Dean returned to the hotel room he found Castiel on the bed, shirtless and wet. Yes, he was literally wet all over, and a bunch of bottles were on the floor. If Dean wasn't still a little mad at him, he'd think Cas was hot. He'd think of how delicious his torso looked. Or how ready he looked, just lying there waiting for him. And he'd think of how surprised he'd look if Dean lay down with him. He'd probably blush and ask what Dean was doing, but instead of answering him he'd just silence him with a kiss and then-
But Dean was still a little mad. What Cas had said… It'd been horrible. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was hurt. Really hurt. Of course he couldn't let Cas know this, he didn't want to seem like a pussy. If Sam saw this, he'd punch him and tell him to just tell the guy already. But Dean wasn't Sam. He was stubborn, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna' forget what the damn guy had said to him. Even if he did, kinda' have some… some sorta' feelings for him. ''Hello, Cas.''
Castiel was asleep when he heard Dean. His eyelids flew open, and he gasped as he looked right up at Dean. He'd never really get used to his inconvenient ways of showing up and saying hello. However, he was grateful he was finally back at the hotel. He quickly got up from the bed, about to start apologizing when Dean started talking.
''Before you ask, I was in Kansas visiting an old friend.'' The angel said coldly.
Castiel tilted his head, trying hard not to sound bothered. ''You went to Kansas without me?''
''Yeah, of course I did. You wanted sleep, right? So you got it. I just needed to see him, nothing to flip your shit over.''
Castiel didn't know what bothered him the most. The fact that Dean went without him, or the fact that his other human friend was a he. He knew it shouldn't matter, he knew Dean was allowed to have all the human friends he wanted. But… Dean was here to protect him right now, not the secret friend of his. Why would anything be more important than him right now? What if Meg had gotten to him? What if there was another reason to why Dean didn't want to bring him along? What if Dean and this person actually had intercourse? ''Your friend… How did you two meet?''
The angel shrugged. ''It's not like it's any of your business, but his girlfriend was killed by a demon. Uh… And then he sold his soul to get her back, but the deal didn't go so well… Long story short, I helped him and he got his girlfriend back. They're actually married now. But like I said, none of your business.''
Castiel sighed in relief, smiling slightly. ''Oh, that's good to hear.''
''Yeah, the thing is, I figured you two should meet. He's like a brother to me, really… But then I realized I'd only introduce him to a friend, and you obviously hate me so...''
''I don't hate you.'' Castiel frowned, placing a hand on his shoulder. ''I feel awful, Dean. The things I said… I-I never meant to-''
''I told you, Cas. You didn't hurt me-''
''Yes,. I know I didn't hurt you, Dean. But still… I want you to, no, I need you to understand. I didn't mean any of those things, I was just angry you didn't trust me enough to tell me about Meg. And then you called me a baby, and…'' He sighed softly. ''However, it doesn't matter. I should never have said that only because I was grumpy. I understand perfectly why you're an angel, Dean. You're so brave, strong, and so full of love… Your siblings are wrong about you, Dean… Please, I'll do anything for you to forgive me.'' Castiel looked up at the angel with begging eyes, not sure how he would react.
Dean found himself speechless, for perhaps the first time in his life. He knew he should say something, he just didn't know what. The emotions he was having were exhausting, and confusing. It was strange, cause' it was almost like he'd forgotten everything that had been said in the car. He forgot about the pain, and the anger. All that mattered was that Castiel was sorry, and even though Dean knew he couldn't have him completely, they'd at least still be friends. There were many things he'd like to say, but as emotionally retarded as he was he remained silent. Instead he pulled Cas into a hug.
It was an awkward hug; Cas obviously wasn't used to this sorta' body contact. Besides, the guy was still shirtless, which made the whole thing a lot more intimate and uncomfortable for him. It probably didn't help when Dean decided to pat his back, his body tensed and he straightened up. However, it was still a hug. And it was exactly what he needed right now. If only the moment could last-
''Oh, sorry, if I knew you were having a moment I'd pop in later.'' The sound of Balthazar's voice made both of them gasp and jump away from each other. Cas looked over at Dean for answers, but Balthazar spoke before Dean managed to open his mouth.
''You can call me Balthazar. I'm an angel, just like Dean-o over here.'' Dean sighed heavily at the nickname.
''Any reason you decided to drop by, Balthy?'' He asked, irritated.
''Inconvenient, was it? Sorry, brother, but I have news. Would you like to talk in private or…?''
''Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Cas.''
Castiel smiled slightly, tilting his head. ''Thank you, Dean.''
''Sure thing, Cas.'' Dean mumbled, trying hard not to blush in front of Balthazar. ''What is it?''
''Meg won't be bothering you anymore. She's dead.''
''W-What?! How?'' Castiel gasped,
''She was in Kansas looking for you, and I got together some of our brothers- the ones that aren't bloody idiots- and together we managed to take her down.''
Dean grinned widely. ''That's awesome, thanks bro.''
''Wait a minute.'' Castiel said, not as satisfied as Dean. ''If you and Dean could just kill her, why were we running away from her in the first place? Angels are much more powerful beings than demons, correct?''
''You're a smart one, I like you.'' Balthazar chuckled. ''Meg isn't stupid, she wasn't coming alone. She was bringing her awful hellhounds with her, and trust me; Those bastards are harder to take down than they look. Besides, if Dean was the one smiting her, it would only confirm Crowley's theory about you. Which would only would make things more complicated than they already are.''
''Crowley used her as a bade, Cas. She died in Kansas, so now he thinks we're in Kansas.'' He explained.
''Oh…'' Cas mumbled, lost in thought.
Dean hadn't noticed when Balthazar had disappeared, but he was thankful he'd left them alone. Cas still seemed kinda' down, and Dean wanted to cheer him up. ''Look, Cas, I know you thought of Meg as your friend… Well, at least you did until you found out she was a demon… But she was a bitch, and she wanted to get to you. So don't mourn her death. Come on, what do you say we watch some Star Wars on the big plasma screen in front of the couch?''
A small smile spread across Castiel's face, it was almost adorable. ''That sounds nice, Dean.''
I'll update as soon as possible; the next chapter will contain sex :D
