Yet another disclaimer: I don't own the New York Yankees or Abercrombie & Fitch.

Chapter 4: Voldo's Story

Having the ability to see after years upon years of lacking it was a blessing to Voldo. He looked around at the kitchen walls, at the colors, which he never knew existed. He could never comprehend what sight even was, even after having it explained to him in detail by people like Vercci. He enjoyed viewing the scenery such as the counter tops, cabinets, the refrigerator and its contents, etc. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a bag of uncooked popcorn and placed it in the microwave, setting the time to two minutes. Once that was done, he walked over to the window, not nearly as clumsily and drunk like he used to. Outside he could finally see nature. Green leaves, brown trees, red blood on the ground.

Of course, he didn't realize that was blood, since he didn't know what the color of blood was. He imagined it was the dew left on the grass. He still didn't find anything unusual about the blood-soaked hand reaching through the open window and yanking him outside either.

Voldo landed on the soft grass outside the kitchen window; more concerned that the popcorn was burning than the fact that he was being attacked. He turned to face his opponent to see what looked like a lizardman, but… not. It seemed mostly humanoid, but its movements and noises most resembled a lizardman's. He looked at the window to the secret basement/arcade and noticed that the bloody handprint fit his opponent's hand, which was equally blood-soaked. He was battling against the intruder.

It held what looked like a stick with a blade at the tip, very primitive and suitable for a lizardman. Voldo stared in terror, as he had never actually seen a creature like this. "Manas! Ayus! Where are you!" he called, only realizing that his weapons were not alive until his opponent kicked him in the stomach and he saw his two katars sitting on the ground. He jumped up and ran over to them. "Why won't you listen to me? I am your master!" The blades remained motionless. "Fine, I'll just have to pick you up myself," he yelled, angrily and frowning.

He swiped at the odd lizardman, missing by several feet. He swiped again, with the same result. "Gah! I can't do this! I was so much better when I was blind!" The creature slashed at Voldo's chest, but only managed to cut a piece of tight leather. Voldo looked down at himself, finally realizing just how wrong his outfits were.

He pulled the piece of leather up to his face, wrapped it around his head and tied it to make a blindfold. He was now able to fight decently. He tackled his enemy and struck the ground with Manas and Ayus, just barely missing the creature's head. He spun to trip it, but it jumped over his foot.

As Voldo pushed himself off the ground, the creature hit him in the chest with the blunt end of the weapon. Voldo wheezed as a response.

The animal stopped and looked around. In a human, feminine voice, it spoke, "Wow, this isn't good." It scratched its head and walked away, hardly looking at Voldo.

Voldo peered down again at his disgusting clothes. He needed new apparel as quickly as possible.

He ran gracefully down to the mall, staring at it in awe, as he had never seen it before, obviously. He peeked his head into all the shops, looking for one that had normal clothes for sale. Most of them only sold clothes that he wore normally, and those were stores that were female-oriented. He walked through the rest of the mall, continuing to look through every store, still finding mostly females. Even the male-oriented stores were filled with women. He finally found a male clothing store, which happened to be empty except for the cashier. Voldo walked up to him and asked, "What do most masculine people wear these days?"

The cashier pushed his long, blonde hair back, which seemed to have been messed earlier, and not combed or brushed. He looked up, with tired eyes, "We only have one set of clothes here. It's what pretty much every-," he sarcastically held up two fingers with each hand, " 'cool' person wears now." He pointed to the single rack in the store, which held several of the same baggy jeans, orange shirt, white sneakers, plaid boxers, gold necklace, and New York baseball cap.

"But the Yankees suck!" Voldo exclaimed to the cashier. But, he had no choice, and had to wear this to regain his masculinity. After getting dressed and paying the cashier, he carried his clothes outside, threw them into the dumpster, lit a match, and burned it to the ground. "Burn in Hell, Abercrombie & Fitch Tight Leather Division!" He walked home, struggling to keep his new pants up without revealing the boxers, wondering how all the cool people could stand it.

He walked through the front door to the house, and said to the others in the living room, "Check it out, yo! I'm a cool person now! No more tight costumes! Werd Life!"

Kilik looked down at the clothing he was wearing. "Why am I wearing this, then?"

Voldo sat between Yoshimitsu and Kilik on the sofa. After watching Arnold Schwarzenegger blow up three more cruise ships, five more airplanes, and six more terrorists in less than five minutes, Xianghua turned to him and asked, "So where's our popcorn?"

All three stared at Voldo as he walked into the kitchen, discovering pieces of microwave oven and popcorn strewn throughout the area. Voldo knew he would have to clean it up himself, and doing so would make him miss the scene in which Arnold gets his bazooka and sheds a few more kiloliters of blood.

Sorry for this being shorter than the other chapters.

Next Chapter: Mina's Story