I DONT OWN SHUGO CHARA.
THORNS OF BETRAYAL:
Chapter 4- Smile through the tears
Amu's pov
I had been hanging with Rima and Kukai alot in the past 5 days I've been here. I learned alot about them in the time I have hung with them. I learned Kukai had become less idiotic..not by much. But I still love him whether he's dumb or not.
He is like a slightly older idiotic brother to me. He continously asked me to visit Utau, I agreed after the 50TH time. So after school I rode with him to his and Utau's house. We laughed and talked the whole way there, that is up until the point we were in the house and I sensed something or rather someone.
Utau had walked in from the living room my blood ran cold when I saw who was not far behind her. I could no longer hold the snarl that was threatening to rip through in anymore. Ikuto didn't seem surprised at all everyone else froze. Why didn't I sense him before I got in the house?
Utau and Kukai glanced at each other before Kukai attempted to restrain me. Ikuto just stood there emotionless and watching. The fact he didn't hold emotions just made me want to hurt him more. Utau seemed to be speaking to me but my eyes were locked on Ikuto.
Finally I took a breath and calmed myself. It had taken almost everything in me to some how pull myself together, especially after 8 years of seeking revenge on a person only to finally have them a few feet in front of you. Everyone seemed to sense my change in mood and Kukai loosened his arms but kept them on me, in case I decided to go back to trying to kill Ikuto. When I had calmed Utau walked in front of me, "Amu please... just stay calm and you and Ikuto can talk things out."
I stared past her at Ikuto and for a moment I saw hope pass through his eyes before he blinked it away. I stared at the ground fighting tears back, once successful I looked up and nodded. I waited 8 years I could wait a while longer besides talking won't change anything. However I decided to listen anyways, whether it was the hope that I saw for a moment in his eyes or something else I really do not know.
I followed silently as Ikuto and I went to the living room, Utau and Kukai left us alone hesitantly. Ikuto still had yet to speak, he stood staring out a window while I sat on a chair watching him. "Amu..."He trialled of I looked up to see he was now facing me the pain and sadness in his eyes was all it took before the tears were no longer able to be kept back. I didn't have the strength to try to attempt to hold them away.
In a second he was kneeling before me his hands holding both of mine. I stared at our hands locked together, tears silently falling. He slipped one hand out of mine and lifted my face to look at his. Our eyes locked and once again I felt a familliar feeling I hadn't in a long time.
The feeling of being lost in his eyes, the feeling of peering into his soul. We were silent and unable to break the gaze that held us both. So many emotions flashed through his eyes at once. Regret, sorrow, pain, hurt but the most surprising love.
In an instant I threw my arms around his neck holding him tight as he did the same only his arms went to my waist . My silent sobs increasing, my body shaking but his arms supported me. Is it strange to feel safe and comforted by the arms of someone who had betrayed you? There were no words spoken between us and there were none needed at least not for the moment.
We just stayed there holding each other tightly. My sobs dying down as the minutes passed but the feelings of sadness and sorrow did not cease along with the tears. I clung to him as if any second now he would be gone again, and for all I knew it could happen. I clung to him out of need, hurt, pain, fear but most of all love.
When we had pulled away it was not far we stood not even arms length apart our shoes toe to toe. I felt drawn to him the need to be close enough to touch him. Like if I were to move farther apart he would vanish leaving me only with memories and pain from the damage that had been done. Not that the damage could be erased, it was still there.
But for a moment even if it were to be only a moment longer all I wanted was him. Though that had always been what I wished for, now for this moment I wanted him not revenge. We still had yet to utter a word I guess it was out of fear. Fear that if we were to speak the moment would be shattered, leaving the pain and anger to take over once again.
Instead we stood there unmoving, barley breathing, touching are hands linked together. But like a sad song it must come to an end at one point, no matter what objections one has toward it ending. I tore my stare away and slowly stepped back not daring to gaze at him. When I had the guts to look up he was still in the same spot.
Slowly I yet again took a step back are gazes on each other. It seemed with each step the pain grew, and the anger grew. I couldn't bring myself to harm him even through the pain and anger. Even though for 8 years harming him is what I had wanted the thought now seemed to kill me.
"Amu..Please listen to what I have to say." His eyes begged as did his voice. I was caught between wanting to run to him again, and wanting to run from him. My heart seemed to pull me one way well my mind pulled me the other way.
I was torn between the love and fear I had for him. I glanced from him to the door. His hand reached out tempting me to stay his eyes full of pain making me want to erase the sadness. Memories of his happy eyes and smile danced through my mind.
Each second that passed felt like minutes each minute felt like hours. I stayed frozen and confused. Slowly he took a step toward me he continued till he was once again in front of me. Slowly he grasped my hands once again locking them with his, it seemed my heart felt locked with his as well.
Leaning down he touched his lips to mine lightly sending shivers down my spine. I was frozen still unsure, the pressure of his lips increased and soon I found myself kissing him back. Though soon through fear I pulled back slightly. "Maybe when I'm ready" I smiled despite the pain and tears.
Leaning in I kissed his lips softly my tears staining his cheeks as they did mine. Pulling back I smiled a sad smile, and with that I turned and left. I heard him whisper, "Ill be waiting." As I left, I knew he knew I had heard his words.
I didn't stop as I ran not until I had reached a hill, the hill we shared our first kiss on. I sat down watching the sun begin to set. I smiled despite the pain, the tears ran silent and free. The breeze blew lightly, the sun almost gone.
And like that my anger seemed to have gone with the wind, and the need for revenge left like the sun. Though anger and revenge left the hurt and pain remained. The moon was now out along with the stars. And just like how the moon never truly leaves but stays unseen only to appear when the sun has set, my love for him remained only to be felt and shown once the anger had left.
I layed back on the grass gazing at the stars. I suppose to long had been waisted on revenge and anger. I now saw how silly I had been. However that doesn't mean the pain and hurt he caused would leave easily...But maybe...just maybe in time the hurt could be replaced with a new beginning.
Only when I'm ready though, till then the wounds he left me will heal forming scars that will remain but are closed. I stayed on the hill our hill all night until the sun began to rise. I felt as if it was signaling a new start stretching I stood gazing at the sun once more I turned and left.
(Ikuto pov)
Despite the pain and fear, I smiled. I would wait till she was ready to hear me out. I knew I would have to earn her forgiveness and I would do whatever it takes. I stared at the setting sun, I stayed on my balcony playing my emotions out through the violin.
I played and did not stop till the sun had began to rise the next morning. The past would always remain...but there was always a new start. And just like how a song must end there will always be another song waiting to be played, but until the time is right I will try my hardest to fix things. A tear fell silently yet my smile did not once falter.
