Disclaimer: I do not, never have, and never will own Halo.
Authors joke: What do you call an angry spartan?
Whatever the hell he wants.
Seriously, though, if you have an idea for a short, post a review or PM me! I tend to suffer from writers block badly, so any ideas will be welcome!
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*Intervention Spartan Style*
*Starring:John-117*
The cyro tube opened with a Whoosh, spewing mist into the cargo bay of the Pillar of Autumn. The crackle of thawing ice was like firecrackers in the cyro bay.
"Good morning Sunshine! The sun says hello!" Said Cortana happily as John stepped wearily out of the tube.
"Screw you." John wasn't a morning person.
"But you havn't even bought me dinner yet!" Joked Cortana. The Chief looked at her with pure malice.
"Shut it, or I'll tear out your hard drive and use it to play hockey." He froze.
"what the sam hell..."
There was a woman in the cargo bay, a spartan in yellow armor, with a red stripe across her forehead. A nametag on her armor identified her as Alice.
Alice launched herself at the chief, ramming into him like a rhino. Her fists ducked left and right, and she head butted John with vigor every chance she got.
"Oh, look. We have a visitor." Cortana sat back, eating a holographic display of some popcorn.
"How the-OW!- hell did-Gaumph!" That last one was the Chief getting kneed in the face by Alice.
"You-bloody-bastard!" Alice accentuated every word with an uppercut.
"What did I- Ooph!"
"You left me on harvest to rot, you never called, you took me to McDonalds for our first date, what the hell didn't you do?!" Cried Alice, backing off and collapsing into a wailing lump.
"Oh." Chief looked around at the cargo bay, everywhere but Alice's visor.
"I may have been a little, Er, Stoned..."
"Say what?"
"I had a bad pot habit back then..." Cortana choked on her popcorn.
"Chief, What did you do before you were on the Pillar of Autumn?"
"Everything but steroids."
"that explains why you die so easily. I mean, I just get up after awhile. You just...lay there." said Alice.
Chief looked back and forth between the two women. "Are you two gonna put me in rehab?"
"Yep." Said Cortana, obviously using all of her subtlety programming.
Dun Dun Dunnnn!
