What's Behind the Curtain?

Chapter 4

Reagan

Well. This is awkward. So I say to Sam, "I can explain everything!"

"What is everything?" he replies. Classic Sam.

"So…Sam, these are the Guardians of the Galaxy."

"Guardians of the what now?"

He watched the movie! Thankfully for me, Peter interjects. "Guardians of the Galaxy, man! Do you live under a rock or something?"

"Technically, no. I think you're the one that lives under rocks, mister space man,"

"That was offensive! Reagan, is he always like this? A skunk bucket?"

"You're a skunk bucket!" Sam retorts.

Peter looks he's about to unleash the element gun on Sam. But he seems to calm down, much to my relief.

"This is why I told you not to look for him," I say.

"Well, that's rude," Sam grumbles.

He is insufferable. "You're the one being rude! You just blew off the Guardians of the Galaxy, and you have the nerve to call me rude?!"

"Well, I'm not the one that said I should leave my unconscious neighbor laying in the middle of the stage,"

"Sorry! But, really, this is how you treat strangers? By screaming at them and insulting them? Wait, actually, you're supposed to scream…but these people are not strangers! Take it from me, a non-stranger!"

"Why should I believe the person who wanted to leave me lying unconscious on the ground?"

"I'm your neighbor! I've known you for most of my life! And the only reason I wanted to leave you on the ground is the fact that you can get very annoying sometimes, like now!"

Peter interrupted my mini-rant. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. As muck as I like to see a good fight, we've got work to do."

"Work?" Sam asked.

"Well, for the Guardians, Reagan, Madison, and Katie, yes. I have no idea what we're going to do with you."

"What you're going to do with me is let me go home and report you to the cops for breaking into a school!"

"Kid, I'm starting to not like you. For one thing, we didn't break into a school, we crashed into it. Second, this is the reason we tased you. So you wouldn't report us to the authorities," See? Common sense. Something Sam doesn't seem to have.

"You're making me want to tase you..." Rocket said.

"Am I on drugs, or did that raccoon just pull out a rocket launcher thing that he calls a taser and threaten to 'tase' me? I think I'd get shot into the galaxy if you pulled the trigger on that thing." Never, ever, ever call Rocket a raccoon, Sam...

Rocket growled. "You betcha you would, Terran idiot! And I am most definitely not what you half-evolved apes call a 'raccoon'!"

"Why are you calling us dumb? You eat trash out of our trashcans!"

"Ohh, you just asked for it, you-"

Peter interrupted Rocket, thankfully, or else a string of swear words probably would've came out of Rocket's mouth. "Rocket, while I admit this kid is really insulting, we can't just go around tasing people."

Feel free to tase Sam, though. I honestly think he deserves it. "Rocket, don't listen to Peter. Just tase him already."

"REAGAN?!" Sam yelled. "I thought you were on my side!"

Really? "I was, until you started insulting people!"

"It's my job around here. You can't have a school without an insulter." Well, somebody fire him!

"You haven't seemed to learn that insulting people can have consequences. Therefore, I think you should be tased."

"What do they want with me, anyway?"

Peter sighed. "I'm right here, you know, and we need your house. To stay in until we can fix the ship."

"I'm not even sure I want it, anyway, with all the flark this kid says." That's probably true, Rocket.

"You realize I have brothers and my mom babysits. She'll be home all day. Also, my brothers come home everyday for lunch because he's in college."

Oh. Serious flaw in plan. "I didn't know that."

"Uh...any suggestions, anybody?" Peter asked.

From across the room, Katie yelled, "I have a suggestion!"

Peter paled. "Anybody else?"

"What about my house? My parents love Marvel!" Madison offered.

In unison, Peter and I said, "That could work..."

"Fine. What do we do with this thing?" Rocket jerked a thumb at Sam.

"I'm not going to her house," Sam stated.

Infuriating! "Fine. Then why don't you just..." I trailed off.

"Go away?" Peter finished my sentence.

"Yeah. That."

"No, thanks," Sam said firmly.

"Then what are we going to do?" I looked expectantly at Sam.

"I guess I'll come," he said reluctantly.

"We still don't have a good use for you...what skills do you have?" Good move, Rocket.

"I'm good with numbers, I can take stuff apart or put it together, or anything else you want me to do." That's not all you're good at, Sam!

"He's also very annoying and distracting," I put in.

Peter stroked the stubble on his chin thoughtfully. "We do need someone to distract people...how good are you at lying?"

"Really bad...hehe...I lied there."

Very clever, Sam, very clever.

"Okay, then. Welcome to the team!"

"Yay, I guess..."

"I guess? I GUESS? YOU SHOULD BE HONORED-" I started.

Peter interrupted me. "Sam, your first job is to create a distraction that will allow the rest of us to steal a car and get out of here to Madison's house. The ship will come later. Any ideas on a distraction?"

"Uhh...I'm not the one with plans. That's Reagan."

It's about time somebody realized what I do! Except... "Uh...I can't think of anything. Well. Anybody got an idea?"

"Nope. Ask Peter. He's the strategist."

That explains some things. Like how the Guardians always are running from some bad guy, or getting drunk at some sleazy club.

"I am Groot..." (No)

"Use some space gadgety thingie!" Madison suggested.

I was going to say something about that, when Peter interjected my train of thought.

"I've got about 5% of a plan," he said.

"Well, let's hear it! 5% is better than nothing," I replied. "Wait-let me guess-your plan is some sort of 'seduce the guard' thing."

Peter gasped. "I'm offended! Do you really think I would try something like that in an elementary school?"

Really? "Yes. Now, Maddie, what was your idea?"

"Use some sort of spacey gizmo. Like a cloaking device," she responded.

Peter looked thoughtful. "I have one for the ship, but not for people. Rocket, that's your department."

"I don't do cloaking devices. I'm not some grease monkey, Quill! I do guns, and occasionally bombs."

"Do you have any non-life threatening bombs?"

"Hmm. I do have a bomb that could taser everybody-"

"NO NO NO NO NO! I don't think you know how miserable those people will feel if they can't move for, like, an hour and a half!" Sam cut in.

"If it makes you feel better, they'd be unconscious, so they wouldn't feel a thing. Also, they'd be knocked out for 12 to 24 hours. That's what happened to you. Maybe I should tweak that gun if you felt something happen to you...did you?" Rocket replied, oddly civilized.

"Yeah, I felt like I died when you shot me with that!"

"Good. Then it worked like it was supposed to. And I told you I was sorry. I didn't know you were a kid."

"Let's stop talking about tasering and start figuring out a plan. Anyone?" Peter asked us.

"Reagan the plan maker, at your service. Sam will go outside and taser a random person or two. He'll get the adult's attention, and that will allow me, Madison, Peter and Katie to sneak out and steal a car. We'll drive to Madison's house. Meanwhile, Rocket, Groot, Gamora, and Drax will figure out a way to get the ship to Maddie's house. Sam, when I say, uh...'green' then go cause the distraction."

"Sweet! I get to shoot people! Sam exclaimed. Boys. So immature.

Rocket tossed Sam a nasty looking gun. "Here's the taser. Have fun!"

"GREEN!" I shouted. "By the way, who are you going to shoot?"

"I dunno. Maybe Andrew and Jeffery?" he replied.

I frowned. "Aren't they your friends?"

"Yeah. That's the point."

"Okay, then..." We raced out of the building.

Madison, Katie, and I blend in with a random group of kids. Peter stays inside the building, just in front of the door. I see Sam shoot Andrew and Jeffery. I squint. He yells something and a swarm of kids and teachers come up.

Sam gives us the signal to run. So we do. Peter's just walking across the parking lot like he belongs there. Of course, nobody notices him. It's hard to believe, since he's a very noticeable person.

I choose a bright blue car. It might actually be my second grade teacher's car. Oh, well. I hop in the passenger's seat. Madison and Katie go in the backseat, and Peter catches up to us and goes in the driver's seat.

We sit there for a moment. "Well?" I demand. "Why aren't we moving?"

"I...um..." Peter's voice drops to just above a whisper. "I-I don't know how to drive."

"What do you mean you don't know how to drive?" I half yell at him. I don't often raise my voice, but come on, we were running out of time!

"I left Terra when I was eight! Why would I know how drive when I was eight years old?"

"Well, you're what, 35 by now?"

"34!"

"Whatever! I bet ¾ of all the 34 year olds on this planet know how to drive!"

"Excuse me, but I'm not a normal Terran!"

"I wish I had popcorn," Katie said wistfully. "This could get interesting."

"Can you at least try to drive?"

"I don't want to get you killed!"

"It can't be that different from flying a ship,"

"This is advanced technology, Reagan! It's very, very, very VERY different!"

"I know that! But you're driving both!"

"Ethnically, you're flying a ship! And did it ever occur to you that the controls might be different?"

"Yeah, but like I said, you are DRIVING! Now, just shut up and drive!"

"Fine, but don't complain if I hit a pedestrian!"

"Fine!"

Peter plugged in the device that supposedly would start the car without keys. I heard the purr of the engine.

"So does that button mean go?" He pointed to the button that opened the sunroof.

I facepalmed. "That opens the sunroof."

"Oh, well, that button means go on the Milano!"

"Ugh. Point taken. Just...one of those pedal things is a break, and the other means go. That's...all I know..."

"Okay..."Peter pressed on one of the pedals. The car moved forward. Except it was heading for a tree.

"TURN THE WHEEL! TURN THE WHEEL!" I screamed. Luckily for me, and everyone else, the car turned just in time. But was headed straight for Sam.

Okay, that's a wrap! Just so you know, all of the OCs are real people, including Reagan, who is basically me, and Sam, who I have to put up with Every. Flarking. Day. Madison, Katie, and Kaitlyn are real too, and are my best friends. I also have a few other friends I have yet to put in the story. Review or PM me saying whether Sam should live or die. I want to kill him off, because I'm kind of mad at him right now, but he doesn't want to be killed off, so...please tell me!