Sorry for not updating in a while, to be honest I got stuck! But I've been on a writing roll lately and I think that I can successfully keep going with this =)
Also, I have a little contest for everyone! Whoever can come up with the prettiest/cutest name idea for the baby will be mentioned before the next chapter! Feel free to PM me suggestions or put them in the review. You can list as many names as you'd like and tell me why you like that name choice. Good luck!
Title: If Ever a Doubt
Summary: Tony knew why he wasn't answering. Tim also knew. What they both didn't know was that there was nothing either could do about it anymore.
Rating: T
Genre: Drama/Romance
Characters (MAIN): Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo and Timothy "Tim" McGee
Characters (OTHER): Abby Scuito, and LJ Gibbs
Pairing: McNozzo
NOTE: WARNING: THIS CONTAINS MPREG.
If Ever a Doubt
Tim was nervous. No...that wasn't the right word. Terrified was more like it. Yes, Tim was terrified. There was no other way to explain it than that. The drive to Gibbs' house seemed like hours. He kept running a hand over his belly thinking about his little girl inside him. What he would name her, what she would look like...everything a soon-to-be dad should be thinking of. He glanced over at the empty passenger seat beside him and thought about what it would be like if Tony were here. They could talk about it together. Squabble with name decisions, what color to paint the nursery, and everything else couples expecting a baby should be doing. So why didn't he just go to Tony to begin with? Why was he going to see Gibbs instead? Tim knew he was confused enough without having to think about all these questions trying to find an answer. Going to Gibbs just seemed smart. The right thing to do. He was afraid that his boss would see differently.
Tim pulled into Gibbs' driveway feeling his heart pound crazily in his chest. He could hear the blood pulse in his ears and he felt a little sick. Maybe it was the morning sickness. Maybe it was the terror. He got out of the car and made sure it was locked before he headed up the stairs to the front door. Closing his eyes, Tim took a couple deep breathes before knocking. It seemed like forever before Gibbs opened the door and Tim was face-to-face with his terror. This was it, now or never. No turning back now.
"Hi Boss," Tim sounded shaky. He dug his hands in his pockets to hide his trembling hands. He was rattled beyond belief, and it made him feel sicker.
Gibbs opened the door more. "Come in, Tim." He didn't sound suspicious. He didn't sound cross. He sounded like Gibbs. The way he always did. This made Tim a little bit relieved. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he was making it out to be.
Stepping into his boss' home, Tim slid off his shoes and kept his shaking hands in his pockets. He subconsciously tried to make himself calm as Gibbs closed the door, sealing his fate from here on in.
Gibbs offered coffee like usual and Tim denied. He wanted his baby girl to be healthy. Besides, he was sure he wouldn't be able to keep anything down at this point. He could already feel breakfast upsetting his stomach. It was almost too much to handle. But Tim was here now and there was no reason to stop now.
Tim found himself soon following Gibbs into his living room. He sat on the couch on the opposite end of his boss, keeping his distance. The terror was setting in even more now. He took out his hands and rested them on his lap, hoping the shaking would stop. He didn't relax, sitting completely upright and straight as a board. He felt stiff.
"What's on your mind, Tim?" Gibbs sounded calm and soothing. Like he knew his young agent had a problem and he wanted to do nothing but help. He set his coffee down on the table and looked at Tim with sincerety in his eyes. It was all too calming.
"Well..." Tim ran his hands up and down his thighs, trying to wipe the sweat off them. "I have a problem. Something happened."
Gibbs looked at him, concern washing over his blazing blue eyes. "Are you hurt?"
"No, no, no," Tim shook his head, "I'm okay. Sort of. I mean I'm emotionally hurt, but physically I'm fine." He thought of Tony then and the emotional pain he'd caused. He wanted nothing more than for it to go away. He wanted nothing more than Tony himself.
Nodding, Gibbs' concern faded away. He leaned back against the couch and interlaced his fingers resting them on his lap. "Okay. You sounded upset on the phone. Figured it must have been urgent."
"Sort of," Tim was literally sitting on the edge of his seat on the couch. He hoped that Gibbs didn't notice his rigidness. He doubted it, since Gibbs noticed everything about everyone. He took a deep breathe. "A couple of months ago, Tony and I...we were seeing each other. Kind of. It was a on and off thing." Tim didn't look at Gibbs. He couldn't. Not until he finished. "One night we slept together. It kind of happened, I don't remember how. We were at my place watching a movie and then it just...it happened. We kissed and then it just snowballed." He took a deep breathe again and gripped his shaking fingers on his knees. "A couple weeks after that I found out that I was pregnant." He closed his eyes swallowing the lump in his throat. "It's Tony's. And I haven't spoken to him since I found out."
The silence that followed rung in Tim's ears, almost deafening. He couldn't look at Gibbs, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to see the expression on his boss' face and in his eyes. To see if he was mad, disappointed, or furious. Anything was better than the silence.
"Why haven't you talked to him?" Gibbs broke the silence, his tone soft and non-judgemental. It sounded worried if anything else.
Tim opened his eyes and looked at his boss, relieved to see that he wasn't mad. But he did see a hint of disappointment. "I'm terrified. It's Tony, Boss. You know how Tony is. You know him better than anybody."
"True," Gibbs sat up and leaned over on his legs, "which means that I know this. Tony cares more than any agent I've ever seen. He cares about people and his family, which is us. He cares about you, and I know that if you told him he would want nothing more than to help you and be there for the baby. He would want to help you."
Tim swallowed hard. He knew all this. He nodded slowly. "I know, Boss but I'm terrified. What if he hates me?"
"He won't. For as long as I've known DiNozzo, he's wanted nothing more than to build a life for himself and a family. He's going to get that if you just let him in," Gibbs put a soft hand on Tim's knee.
Looking over, Tim felt a sense of comfort wash over him. "You're not mad?"
"Maybe a little disappointed. Only because I know that you know better to keep things from us. We're a family, Tim. If someone is in trouble or needs help, we go to each other. It's what makes the team strong. And I know that you two can work this out for the best interest of the child." Gibbs paused. "I know DiNozzo loves you, Tim. He talks about you non-stop. He's worried about you."
A small glimmer of hope washed over Tim. "He is?"
"When you don't talk to him outside of work or call him or answer his messages, then yeah, Tim. Worry tends to happen," Gibbs offered a small side smile. "You should know better than to not answer Tony."
Tim nodded. "Yeah. I just...the fear was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should go to you or him." He sighed softly. "I feel lost."
"You came to the right person. Yes, you should have went to Tony first, but telling me was a good step. It shows bravery and the sense of moving forward. You're smart. You know what you're doing. You just have to keep pressing on for it," Gibbs picked up his coffee mug, "you have brains, Tim. All you need to do is listen to something other than."
"I know Boss," Tim looked out the window behind them, "I just wish I knew how."
I swear that this is four-five pages long! I checked! I debated about doing Tony and Abby in the same chapter, but I thought that I should do it for next time.
Don't forget about the contest. You have plenty of time to submit your names before I pick and put it into the chapter =D
Jay
