Disclaimer: I don't own "Rick and Morty".

Author's Note: Ever wondered when Morty learned to fly ? Here's my take on it.

"Geez Morty, I hope you at least made use of your privacy all this time," Rick said bitterly as he finally joined Morty in the ship, after what had felt like hours.

"Rick! That's, like, none of your business, okay?" Morty crossed his arms in a desperate attempt to preserve his dignity. "Let's just get going, okay? This place blows."

"I think what 'blows' Morty is your lack of enthusiasm on this trip," Rick retorted blandly as he settled into the driver's seat and started the engine. "You, you really offended those women back there, because, well, for reasons beyond my comprehension they actually wanted to get to know you."

"They...they did?" Morty's face flushed brightly as they rose into the air, taking off into the sky. "I-I don't know what to say Rick-"

"How about for starters, saying what a little ungrateful slug you've become to me and maybe-maybe-I'll let it slide. This time." Rick was fumbling for a station on the radio as he spoke, and as he did so, the ship wobbled a little, tilting first to the left, then slightly to the right.

"Rick! Will you watch where you're going?"

"Tell me how to run my ship, Morty, when you actually earn your driver's license. And then you can also not tell me how to run my own ship."

"Rick I-"

"OW!"

Morty glanced over at Rick with shock, as his grandfather was suddenly was gasping and holding his side, as though he'd gotten shot. "RICK!" Morty shouted, "what-what's wrong?! A-a-a-a-are you okay-"

"Fuck!" Rick shouted, hissing the words through clenched teeth, wincing, "Does it-look-like I'm 'okay' Morty!? I-I think I may-might be having-a-a-a-a-heart attack, Morty! Quick-you, y-y-y-you gotta take over the controls-please-just do it Morty! D-Do it for Grandpa, Morty!"

"Oh no, oh my gosh! RICK!" Morty felt all color drain from his face as he watched his grandfather writhing about in the seat, clearly in an immensely crippling amount of pain. Fly? Him? He'd never flown a day in his life. "Wha-wh-wh-wh-what do I do?" Morty gasped, eyes wide as he looked about wildly at all the buttons on the dashboard.

"JESUS Morty! It's not fucking rocket scie-OW! SHIT-Fuuuuck!" Rick shouted as he clutched at his chest. "You-you just take both hands and, and put them on the wheel-you, you've seen me do it like, like a hundred times! Morty, we gotta, we gotta land this fucker down-right over there!"

"O-o-okay," Morty said shakily as he placed his trembling hands on the wheel, glancing fearfully over his shoulder at Rick, who was panting heavily and still holding his chest. "Oh God Rick!" Morty tried to steady the wheel but his hands were shaking terribly, "I-I don't know if I can do this-"

"You, you have to, Morty! So we can land and you can call for assistance! See, see that building, right down there?" Rick, his eyes half open, pointed ahead in their general direction.

"Y-yes?" Morty could hardly focus on what he was doing but he could see a building ahead in the distance.

"Land, land her right there, right next to that building! OW!" Rick howled.

"Okay! Okay!" Morty gripped the wheel tight, but then a terrible realization dawned on him. "But-but Rick! I don't know how to land!"

"It's fine, Morty, it's fine! Just-just push the wheel a little forward and, and you'll-OW!-bring her down steadily."

"O-Okay!" Morty cried as he did as he was told, and, miraculously, it worked-he was actually flying the ship himself, bringing it down to the ground at a smooth descent-and if it weren't for Rick about to die in the seat next to him if they didn't get help soon, he would have been thrilled, but Rick was all he could think about.

The wheels impacted with the ground, finally, and though the landing was a little rough, the ship eventually came to a complete stop-as Morty, to his relief, managed to slam his foot on the breaks.

"Okay-I-I'll go run inside and find out where the nearest hospital is!" Morty turned for the door but Rick's hand stopped him, much to Morty's surprise, pulling him back into his seat. "Rick!" Morty shouted, "I gotta go find help-"

He stopped when he saw the look on Rick's face, which immediately confused him. This wasn't the face of somebody who was having a heart attack. It wasn't the face of someone who was gripped by unbearable, life-threatening pain. No, this was the face of someone who had just triumphed, the face of someone who had set a goal and succeeded. And that was when Morty realized the awful truth:

He'd been duped.

There was no pain. Rick had tricked him. Morty wasn't sure whether to be relieved or enraged. He simply sat there in shock, blinking in horror at his grandfather.

"Yeah," Rick shrugged, as though he had been questioned, "So, I lied about the heart attack thingy-but hey, look, you never would have gotten the guts to take your first flying lesson if I hadn't, am I right?"

Nausea gripped Morty's insides. For a moment he couldn't move. Once his stomach finally settled back down, he turned and looked Rick dead straight in the eye. "You're an asshole," Morty muttered flatly. "I want to go home now."

"Aw come on don't be like that!" Rick gave Morty a quick nudge in the ribs, adding with a smile, "For what it's worth, you did a pretty good job landing her on your first try."

Morty blinked at that-was that an actual compliment from his grandfather? "You...you really think so?" Morty asked, turning back towards Rick in surprise.

"Yeah-you know, I might even let you take 'er home."

"R-really?" Morty blinked with shock at the offer.

"No biggie," Rick shrugged, looking amused by his grandson's excitement. "Anyways-where we're going after this, I'm gonna need a designated driver."

"Really, Rick? you'd let me-wow!" Morty gushed, suddenly feeling like a little kid again, "that-that's amazing!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now this bar you so expertly landed us at, Morty, is run by a friend of mine-Fredrick-he'll hook us up with the best drinks in the universe. Let's go."

"Alright!" Morty, eager now, hopped out of the seat and followed Rick across the parking lot and into the dusky-looking bar. "But-I'm only 15!" he whispered as they walked up to the counter.

"Planet Za follows different rules Morty," Rick reminded him with a wink as he pointed to the spot next to him. "Pick your poison and pull up a seat."

So without any more hesitation, Morty did.