Chapter 4

Ginoza

"Hi, you've reached Shimotsuki. I'm not available right now; please leave your name and number. Don't leave a message."

If there's one thing that I cannot stand in this damn world it would be when I call someone and I get the damn answering machine instead of the person that I wish to speak with, anyone who thought that leaving a voice mail was a good idea should be gilded for even suggesting the thing.

"I'm sick of sitting here." I tell her as I pace around the living room, "Shimotsuki if I don't get a name soon, I'm walking."

I hang up as I keep pacing around. It's been three days and I still haven't gotten a single thing. No news, no names, no nothing! What's the point of hiring someone to take down another if you can't even give out a name immediately or at least within twenty-four hours of having accepted the job request?

In all of my contracts, I've never been hit with this kind of predicament before. The local people have never approached me, actually they've always ignored me and paid little to no attention at all. I sure as hell don't need someone to tell me that I'm screwed right now. I didn't just attract a simple local, I caught the eye of a damn detective and if that's not bad I don't know what is then.

This isn't good, I'm sinking deeper into a bottomless abyss at a fast rate and the darkness is slowly closing itself around me. I've got too many variables with no answers. Did he approach me because he knows what I am and he's just waiting for me to make my move just so he can catch me in the act or is it all just a damn coincidence and I'm simply overthinking things?

I can't deny that I'm faced with a serious problem here and I need to solve it and fast or I might as well pour everything down the drain and call it quits right now.

What should I do? I've never been faced with such a situation before and I've never had to deal with something like this in a short period of time and right now I can't afford to do a blunder…

If I go to this damn party, more people are going to see my face which isn't good at all but it might reduce any possible suspicions that Kougami may have on me but there's always a chance that someone from my past could be there also and I just don't want that added problem to my already ever growing problematic list.

If someone does recognize me then Kougami will know that I'm actually from here and if he is somewhat already suspicious of me that would be adding icing on the cake and further add more suspicion and that's not good and quite frankly I can't afford that right now.

If I don't go well Kougami will come and get me himself personally and I'll raise even more unwanted attention to myself and raise the level of any suspicion that he may have towards me… It doesn't matter how I look at it I'm faced with a double edged sword.

If I want to have a chance to pull this job off with success I don't have a choice, I have to go to that stupid party tonight. I'll have to mingle and waste my time when I could be doing something that's more constructive and beneficial to my task but if things start going sour, if it comes to a worst case scenario I'll eliminate the obstacles without a second thought.

To be honest I'd rather not have to take the life of an innocent person, it's not the same as taking the life of a crook. A crook will cheat you, they'll do inhuman things such as rape women and children and they'll take the lives of hundreds and even thousands of innocent people so I really don't care if they die but taking the life of an innocent who hasn't done anything wrong towards humanity, it's just not the same.

XXX


Chapter 4.5

Kougami

Everything is perfect; the night is cool but not too cold and without a single cloud in the sky. We can see the stars perfectly tonight and the moon is shining to its fullest and even better it's a full moon too. The bonfire is starting to take its final form as the flames are starting to get stronger little by little so that's a massive success.

Kunizuka and Sugo are setting up the music system, Shion is laying out the chairs around the fire and Kagari is preparing the food for tonight with the help of Akane. Everything is coming along just nice and soon it will be completely dark with some good music to fill the air, sitting around the fire and hopefully I'll be able to fix yesterday's blunder with Ginoza and start anew. Hopefully, I'm still hopeful. I think I still have a chance if I play my cards right.

"Shinya, I recommend that you escort your guest here." Shion voices out and adds with a wink, "Might help to get him more relaxed."

"Good idea." I reply and start walking away from the gang and take the wooden pass to avoid the tide that rose.

It doesn't take long for Ginoza's house to come into view and I'm relieved to see the lights are on so I know that he didn't bail on me. To be honest I was actually afraid that there wouldn't have been any lights on and that he would have went into the city to avoid me or just decided to go to bed early.

I walk up the steps of the balcony and knock on the door, waiting a little before the door opened and I'm greeted with a not too happy Ginoza. Actually if eyes could kill I'd be dead and I know I shouldn't but I just can't help but to smile which is probably why he's not in a good mood. He probably thinks that I'm a jackass, an over confident cocky jackass but I just can't help it, just seeing his face makes me happy.

"Good to see that you showered. Now you can't give me an excuse to bail." I blurt out, putting my foot in my mouth again. That sure as hell wasn't the right thing to say right from the start knowing full well that he's not in a good mood to begin with.

Fuck Kou! Get your head out of the gutter and fast!

Of course Ginoza would have taken a shower; he doesn't look like the type who'd do an intense work out and stay in his sweat for the rest of the day. He's the type who probably showers right after because cleanliness is something that he values greatly. He sure as hell didn't shower just to impress me or anything.

"How about that I don't want to?" He replies as he crosses his arms against his chest and of course he doesn't want to go but then again if he really didn't want to go he would have found a way to bail on me so the fact that he is here and up says that deep down he does want to go, he just doesn't want to admit it.

"That's not an excuse, it's an opinion." I tell him, crossing my arms against my chest in return and removing the weight on my injured foot.

"You're an ass." He blurts out in a calm fashion and I have to stop myself from laughing, this guy is just too much. He tries so hard to be this tough guy but he's not, he's a soft hearted individual and just seeing him try to be someone else is just too adorable.

"Mmmmh… Yeah, pretty much." I agree.

He shakes his head in disbelief and says, "You even admit it, should I be worried?"

"Hey, at least I'm honest." I answer back and I'm hoping that at least it's worth something to Ginoza's eyes. I want him to know that I have nothing to hide, that he can trust me to be honest. I want him to feel more comfortable with me and I really want to have a chance with him but he's so distant and it's hard to get closer to him. He placed a wall up around himself and he just doesn't want to lower it and let me in, he's just so defensive and wary.

"I was thinking about how it might be awkward for you to come alone so I thought that I should join you. I don't want you to feel rushed or anything so just take your time and pretend like I'm not even here." I tell him after a few minutes of awkward silence.

I leave out the part that Shion was actually the one to suggest the idea, hoping that it will win me some points with Ginoza but she had a really good point though. Since Ginoza doesn't know anyone here it would have been a bit awkward for him to just walk up and join us in our party. It wouldn't have been fair to have placed him into that position so it's the least I can do and besides being alone with him before we join the others is something that I want.

"Very thoughtful…" He says without much emotion in his tone and he's not genuine at all as he exits the house and locks the door behind him.

"I sense sarcasm in there." I point out and I know it was rather obvious but I'm trying to lighten the mood between us but no matter what I do it just doesn't seem to work. I can't get him to even smile a little, he's just so serious.

"I just want to get this over with." He answers sharply with zero interest and that is without a doubt a genuine statement and I guess that I feel a little bad about it but he needs to step out of his cocoon. It's not healthy for someone to confine themselves indoors twenty-four seven. It's just not and I know if I didn't push him into this, he wouldn't have come, I had no choice. I just had to force him but he'll see soon that he made the right choice and he'll actually have some fun.

"That's not the spirit! You're going to have fun and have a ball." I tell him but he doesn't seem very convince as he digs his hands in his pockets as we walk down the wooden path.

Maybe after Ginoza has had a drink or two in him he'll feel much more relaxed and actually allow himself to lighten up and just have a good time. I want to see him laughing a little and see him actually happy for a change. I don't think he's been happy for a very long time and that just doesn't suite me very well. I need to put a smile on his face, I know his face will glow and his eyes will just sparkle.

Again his choice of clothing is black jeans and a black long sleeve shirt and it doesn't look too thick which favours me well for later. Once the night truly sets in the temperature will drop a bit more and maybe I'll be able to move in to provide him some warmth. Maybe…

The bonfire is the first thing that I see as we start getting closer. I quickly glance an eye towards Ginoza just to see his reaction but he seems totally unimpressed as he stares at the large fire.

Kunizuka has already started playing some good old rock music and like always it's not too loud or too low. It's just right and I'm glad to see that everything came along just great but even with all of that Ginoza still remains completely uninterested.

Kagari is roasting some marshmallows for himself and Hinakawa near the fire and they're pretty much keeping to themselves with small chitchats about whatever. Akane, Shion and Kunizuka are sitting around the fire talking with drinks in their hands. Well I'm sure that they're not exactly talking but sharing some hot gossip amongst each other which would be the better term to say in their case and a bit further Sasayama is having a chat with Sugo. Whatever it's about, I personally do not want to know and by Sugo's facial reaction he probably wishes that he didn't know either.

I'm debating on whom I should introduce Ginoza to first. Kagari and Hinakawa could be a good bet but that is if Kagari won't start acting childish. I had considered Sugo but he's occupied with Sasayama at the moment and that's the last person I was Ginoza to be introduced to first which then leads to the girls. Well if I introduce Ginoza to them first well I fear that I will lose him to them for the rest of the night.

"Is it? Holy mother of god if it isn't Nobuchika Ginoza who has come back from the land of the dead!"

Sasayama's sudden loud voice catches my attention and at first I wondered if I had heard him correctly as he ditched Sugo in a heartbeat and walked towards us and my confusion was kind of answered as I saw Ginoza seemed like he wants to suddenly disappear in this moment as Sasayama got closer to us.

"Where the fuck have you been you fucking fairy!?" He asks as he wraps an arm over Ginoza's shoulders as if they've known each other for years.

Sasayama seems rather happy to see Ginoza but Ginoza on the other hand looks like he'd rather bury himself in a hole and stay there to die and I can't help but wonder why that is.

"You two know each other?" I ask still a bit confused. I know for a fact that Ginoza is Japanese but I assumed that he was probably an American-Japanese and not exactly from here but if Sasayama is acting so familiar with Ginoza it can only mean that he has known Ginoza for a very long time and I know for a fact that Sasayama has never left this island for anything. Actually I met Sasayama after I transferred here.

"Somewhat…" Ginoza answers briefly as he manages to slip himself out of Sasayama's hold and backs away from both of us.

"Somewhat? We fucking graduated together and not to mention that we've known each other since we were basically wearing diapers you fucking fairy." Sasayama shoots back at him in a pained tone.

Sasayama is a lot of things but he isn't a liar and right now even if he doesn't admit it he's hurt that Ginoza dismissed him like they barely knew each other in the past but there has to be a reason for it. There are always two sides to every story and I know that Sasayama is far from being a saint and to be honest I never would have thought that Ginoza would ever hang around someone like Sasayama.

"To think that I saw pops today and he failed to say that you were around-"

"Okay Sasayama give him a breather." I cut him off but by then Ginoza is already walking away from us.

I give Sasayama a sharp glare and he retreats back and I set off after Ginoza and it doesn't take long for me to catch up to him.

"Hey! Ginoza! Hey!" I shout out for him to stop but he doesn't and he only does when I grabbed his shoulder.

"What!?" He shouts back as he turns to face me, his face furious but I don't sense anger but more like he's hurting deep down but he refuses to even let those emotions out.

That wasn't what I had in mind when I invited Ginoza to our party, I didn't want to upset him but that's exactly what happened. I fucked up again all thanks to Sasayama and his damn big mouth.

"I'm sure you have your reasons and it's not my business to ask why but you should have told me that you were originally from here-"

"Now you know…" He cuts me off and starts walking again and I follow much to his annoyance.

I know he just wants me to go away but I can't, I can't leave him until I make things right. Knowing Sasayama he won't stay quiet for long and he'll contact pops the moment that he gets to tell him the news about Ginoza being around and all of that is my fault.

"I never would have placed you in that position if I had known. I'm sorry, I know Sasayama can be a fucking asshole sometimes but you probably already knew that." I tell him, trying to explain to the best of my abilities that I really didn't want to do him any harm but Ginoza remains silent and continues walking towards his house and I have to grab his wrist for him to stop and to look at me.

"Look… I don't want to be here longer than I have to." He says after a few minutes of silence but his tone isn't anger, it's back calm as before but he refuses to look me in the eye and I don't remove my hold of his wrist but he doesn't try to pull himself free either.

"Why? Ginoza, talk to me…" I ask, trying to catch his eye but he keeps evading me. "I wasn't born here. I come from Tokyo and I got transferred here four years ago and this beats Tokyo any day, it's different. Calm and the people are awesome and welcoming so I don't know why you'd want to run away from all of this." I add, trying to get him to say something but he doesn't. He simply stares to the ground and whenever I try to catch his eyes he just looks at another direction, always escaping. No… Running is a better word to choose here.

"I never would have guessed that you were pops' kid… Ever since I got transferred here, I worked a lot with him. You know all he ever talks about is you." I tell him and then watch for a reaction a bit before continuing when I get none, "All he ever wants is to see you, year after year that's all he ever hopes for but you never came and here you are now and you still haven't gone to see him. Why?"

"I have my reasons…" He mutters, his tone is low and I can't think of a possible reason why Ginoza wouldn't want to see his own father. I see pops more of a father to me than my own, he's a great man and I know that he loves his only kid more than anything in the world and yet Ginoza is completely estranged from him, Hell he's not even using pops' name as his own.

"Can I know what it is?" I ask.

"No…" His answer was just as low as before but this time he looks up, my eyes connecting to his.

His eyes is catching the lighting of the moon, they sparkle like vibrant emeralds and they look even more alluring than before and I don't know if it's because he's hurt or just feeling vulnerable right now but he seems even more beautiful right now in this very moment.

I shouldn't…

This is going to be a mistake on my part and it's going to cost me whatever chance I may have had left but I can't help it. I can't hold myself back as I slowly move closer and press my lips against his, giving him a soft and gentle kiss. He doesn't return it but he doesn't seem angry about it either. Actually he looks rather defeated, lost maybe. I don't know but there's definitely no anger or rage in his eyes right now.

"I'm not a good person to get involved with." He says, soft and low almost in a whisper and right then I can see. This is the real him, the part that Ginoza tries so hard to hide and it's without a doubt worth fighting for. I don't want to give up on him; I can't, not after seeing this side of him.

"Can I at least make that decision?" I ask as I move in for another kiss and he doesn't move away and I kiss him again, and another until he finally returns it and I release my hold of his wrist and I cradle his head, my thumbs stroking his cheeks as I deepen the kiss.

"I want to love you." I confess after I pull away, breaking our kiss.

"If you'll have me, give me one night." I say, giving him another kiss and add, "Just one night…"