Whisper
(Harry Potter / Draco Malfoy)
Summary: Harry, in ruins after Cedric's death is teetering on the edge of life and death. Friends unable to save or reach him, Sirius unable to talk reason into him, it doesn't seem there's much that can be done…Until a very unlikely person comes into the picture.
WARNING: Slash, self-harm, thoughts of suicide (The warning wouldn't fit in the summary box... XD)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I just own the plot.
Chapter 4
Yawning, Harry followed Ron up the stairs to the boys dormitory.
Relieved that the feast was over, Harry flopped down onto his bed. That had to have been the longest feast he had ever had to sit through.
He hadn't eaten much, and although Hermione had remained silent at his warning glare, he still caught the disapproving looks she had been shooting him though the whole meal, which only served to piss him off more than if she would've just outright voiced her opinion.
Lying his head back against his pillow, he closed his eyes, releasing a sigh and letting all the stress and tension of the day seep out of him into the mattress.
"She's right, you know." Said Ron from the bed beside him.
"Hmmm?" mumbled Harry.
"You really don't look too good."
"Oh Ron, not you too!" Harry burst out in frustration as he pushed himself into a sitting position.
"Listen Harry, I'm not trying to bug you, but it's true." Said Ron.
"Fuck…" sighed Harry as exhaustion began to overwhelm him.
"Harry… What's wrong mate? I mean, seriously… What's up?" Asked Ron, and Harry could see the concern evident in his eyes.
"Fuck Ron!" shouted Harry, causing Dean and Seamus to look over at the pair.
"Nothing is fucking wrong!!" yelled Harry, anger coursing through him like poison as he stormed into the bathroom leaving Ron, Dean and Seamus to stare at each other in bewilderment.
In the bathroom, Harry stood in front of one of the many sinks and looked up into the mirror above it.
For the first time in a while, Harry actually really looked at himself, and was shocked by what he saw.
That couldn't possibly be him. No way in bloody hell.
Dark sunken eyes framed with large purple circles stared back at him out of a face so thin, the cheek bones were protruding far more than was normal. And pale… So pale he could give Malfoy a run for his money. Malfoy…
His thoughts drifted back to the strange incident on the train.
Had that actually been concern that Harry had heard in the boy's voice?
Dropping his head and taking a couple of deep breaths to calm his confusion with Malfoy, and his anger at Ron, he turned the tap on and proceeded to splash cold water on his face.
He looked back up at the mirror, but it wasn't him staring back in the mirror, but a tall; handsome brown haired boy, who's grey eyes sparkled as he smiled down at Harry.
Harry's breath caught in his throat.
"Cedric…" he gasped. Suddenly, Harry was back in Cedric's arms as they lay curled around each other on Cedric's bed. Cedric's fingers were gently running themselves through Harry's hair and he could feel Cedric's breath ghosting over his ear as he whispered, "I love you Harry…"
And as Harry reached up to stroke Cedric's cheek, it all fell away, and he was once again starring at his own reflection.
Chocking back a sob, he stumbled backwards, away from the mirror. He didn't stop until his back met with the cool stone of the bathroom wall.
Tears falling beginning to blur his vision, Harry slide down the wall to the floor.
"Cedric…" he whispered. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" He sat there for a moment, just letting the pain and the guilt wash through him until he couldn't take it anymore. Reaching into the pocket of his robes producing a small object wrapped in cloth. Hands trembling, eyes closed, shame and guilt pouring through him, he removed the cloth feeling the cool metal in his hand.
Drawing a shaky breath he opened his eyes and looked down at the razor in his hand.
'You're so weak Harry.' His mind taunted his as he pulled back the sleeve of his robe to reveal an arm crisscrossed with deep red scars.
'It's no wonder you couldn't save Cedric. How could you when you cant even save yourself? It's your fault he's dead. All your fault…'
"God…" whispered Harry. "Oh Cedric… I'm so sorry… My fault… All my fault…" Closing his eyes and placing the blade to his skin he released his pain, as he cried tears of blood the whole time.
Got nothing to say anymore
There's nothing new
It's all been done before
Not looking to settle the score
So please let me be
Thought I'd be the one you'd adore
I always thought
I would be so much more
Want something that I can't afford
So please let me be
Please let me be
This is the end of a really sad story
But don't feel bad for me
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
Like the star of a really sad story
You don't live happily
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
Got nothing to say anymore
Originality went out that door
Not finding what I'm looking for
So please let me be
Please let me be
This is the end of a really sad story
But don't feel bad for me
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
Like the star of a really sad story
You don't live happily
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
I'll walk alone
I'll walk alone
Got nothing to say anymore
There's nothing new
It's all been done before
Not looking to settle the score
So please let me be
Thought I'd be the one you'd adore
I always thought
I would be so much more
Now I'm all alone in this war
So please let me be
Please let me be
This is the end of a really sad story
But don't feel bad for me
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
Like the star of a really sad story
You don't live happily
I started out alone
And in the end that's where I'll be
That's where I'll be
